Lin Dang nodded: “Exactly. The eldest bullies people relentlessly, the second pecks especially painfully, and the third bites and won’t let go—the goose, the rooster, and the local dog.”
Song Xiyuan had a vague sense of foreboding: “What do you mean?”
“The task is to get the collars around their necks in exchange for keys. The more collars we collect, the more comfortable the room our group gets.”
Qin Dehua: “I can handle the local dog and the rooster, but that goose… When I was a kid, my grandma’s goose chased me until I was crawling all over the ground. I still have trauma.”
After a moment of silence, Ge Yan had already started rolling up her sleeves.
“What three bullies? The eldest tastes great in the pot, the second is also delicious braised, and the third just needs a good beating.”
As soon as these words were spoken, the live chat didn’t even have time to react:
“Was that Ge Yan? Did Ge Yan really say that?”
“Lotus Sister is putting on an act again.”
“Only Sister Ge’s jokes have flavor!”
“Where are these bullies?”
The Director shouted through the loudspeaker: “There are three cages behind you. The collars are on them. Everyone, please remember: safety comes first.”
By the time everyone finished listening, they turned around to find Ge Yan had already disappeared.
Looking further back, Ge Yan was already standing beside a wire mesh cage.
On the cage was a crooked sign that read: Beware of vicious dog.
Looking down, a snarling yellow local dog lay there with a fierce glare.
A bit vicious, but not too much.
Qin Dehua took a step back: “Little sister, you better be careful.”
Without turning her head, she gave an OK sign.
“Absolutely.”
Ge Yan leaned against the cage and spotted the purple collar around the dog’s neck.
She thought for a moment, then suddenly called out: “Wangcai?”
“Woof!”
Ge Yan frowned. Translated, that bark was probably pretty foul-mouthed.
“Ah Huang?”
“Woof! Woof!”
“Da Huang?”
This time, the dog didn’t bark.
It even retracted its teeth.
Ge Yan smiled. She had guessed right.
Clapping her hands and puckering her lips, she made a “tsk tsk tsk” sound to communicate with Da Huang: “Da Huang, come here, come here!”
The dog’s eyes suddenly took on a look of clear stupidity, tilting its head.
Qin Dehua: “Oh my, this little sister is amazing!”
“Come here, Da Huang!”
As soon as she finished speaking, Da Huang suddenly ran toward Ge Yan, wagging its tail and circling around excitedly, happily panting with its tongue out.
“So good!”
Ge Yan crouched down, patted Da Huang’s head, and casually removed a collar.
“Ah!”
A burst of excited exclamations suddenly erupted from the crowd.
Turning around, it was actually Song Ruan, who was jumping up and down with excitement.
Only when she noticed everyone looking at her did she snap back to reality, freezing awkwardly in place.
“Ah! Ruan Ruan is so cute!”
“Wow! My dog is also called Da Huang!”
“Sister Ge has some skills!”
Next up was the rooster.
Song Xiyuan waited to see the joke: “Roosters don’t have names. That trick won’t work.”
Ge Yan gave a sly smile: “Do I need it?”
Back home during New Year celebrations when she was a kid, which chicken hadn’t she killed?
Ge Yan placed a hand on the cage and jumped right in, startling the rooster so much it leaped up and charged straight at Ge Yan.
Ge Yan didn’t hesitate at all. Before the rooster could reach her, she lunged back at it.
The rooster didn’t even have time to react before turning tail and running.
It hadn’t run more than a few steps when Ge Yan pinned it down, pulled its wings back, stepped on it, and easily removed the collar.
Live chat:
“Never expected White Lotus Sister to be the MVP of this round!””The live stream viewer count is climbing! Can’t wait for the edited version, it’s bound to be even funnier!”
“Has this girl given up on the innocent act and started going crazy?”
“This reality show is so broke, all it has left is the ‘real’ part… Even scriptwriters couldn’t come up with this plot.”
The rooster was tossed aside, feathers scattered everywhere as it trembled and hid in a corner.
The last one was the village’s tough guy—the goose.
Ge Yan jumped in again, but this time she didn’t make the first move.
The goose let out a loud, hoarse cry, stretched its neck long, and charged forward, flapping its wings.
Ge Yan remained still. Just as the goose reached her, she suddenly reached out, grabbed its neck, and swung it around in place.
Shen Yan clutched Qin Dehua’s mink coat, stammering, “Am I seeing things? She… grabbed that goose… with her bare hands? Bare hands?!”
After swiftly removing a collar, Ge Yan quickly dropped the goose and jumped out of the pen before it could chase her down for revenge.
The crowd erupted in gasps of amazement.
Shen Yan: “After seeing Ge Yan grab that goose, I find her scarier than the goose…”
Song Xiyuan snapped back to reality and forced a laugh, pretending to join in. “Who would’ve thought? Sister Ge Yan is amazing…”
The Director quickly announced, “Ge Yan and Song Ruan’s team have collected all the collars and earned the village’s highest-tier room first!”
Song Ruan held onto Ge Yan’s arm, picking chicken feathers off her high-end tweed outfit.
“Sister Yanyan, having you is my blessing.”
Ge Yan took the key. “Your blessing is just beginning!”
Next up were Shen Yan and Qin Dehua as a team, followed by Lin Dang and Song Xiyuan.
By now, everyone had figured out the yellow dog’s routine and handled it easily.
The rooster, thoroughly traumatized and nearly featherless, was easily subdued even by Shen Yan.
When Song Xiyuan emerged from the chicken pen, her eyes were teary, her clothes covered in feathers. She put on a brave face for the camera. “It’s fine, I succeeded!”
The goose proved impossible. Even Qin Dehua, the most capable fighter, was psychologically scarred, and both teams failed.
Qin Dehua broke into a sweat before even getting close to the goose pen.
Frowning, Qin Dehua said, “No, sis, how are you so fierce? Watching you gave me a heart attack!”
“When I was a kid, I craved my grandpa’s goose and picked a fight with it.”
“And then? Did you win?”
“Faked defeat, pretended to cry, stewed it for hours, tasted delicious.”
“Hahahaha, so the ultimate weakness of the three rural tyrants is the iron pot?”
In the end, Qin Dehua’s team got two collars, while Song Xiyuan’s team only got one because she absolutely refused to touch the dog.
As the sun set, the village elders dispersed, and the first task was successfully completed. The three teams headed to their assigned rooms.
When Song Xiyuan pushed open the door and saw the bare walls and two rusty bunk beds, her expression froze.
“I didn’t come here for a variety show; I came for a transformation program!”
Lin Dang pressed her lips together, unable to speak for a long moment. Finally, she patted Song Xiyuan’s shoulder and lowered her voice, trying to comfort her.
“Shit’s hard to swallow, money’s hard to earn.”
Both of them forgot the live broadcast equipment was still running behind them.
“What kind of room did they give our Xixi? Is this even fit for humans?”
“Transformation program… weirdly hilarious.”
“This money isn’t worth it. My Xixi, just quit.”
Qin Dehua’s team had it much better.
A warm heated kang bed, a water heater in the room—very much the Northeast vibe.Ge Yan’s accommodations were even better—a small cabin at the mountain peak, clean and hygienic, with several spare rooms.
The six of them, exhausted from the long journey and a tiring day, finally settled in for a rest.
Little did they know, in the middle of the night, several trending topics suddenly appeared on the entertainment charts.
#Ge Yan Conquers Village’s Three Bullies Barehanded# #Ge Yan the Meme Queen# #Does Ge Yan Know Song Xiyuan?# #Qin Dehua Scared of Geese# #Song Xiyuan Joins Rural Transformation Show#
These trending topics almost overshadowed the news about Cen Yan landing the role of the second female lead in Director Zhang’s film.
Just as Ge Yan was about to sleep, she noticed a call from Shen Yuanming.
She initially thought of hanging up, but then reconsidered—what if there were future collaborations worth millions per minute?
With that, she answered.
“Hello, this is stand-in Ge Yan at your service.”
“Ge Yan! What are you doing?”
“Working, of course.”
The voice on the other end sounded displeased, even somewhat cold. “My fiancée running off to join that ridiculous variety show and making it onto the trending list—Ge Yan, is this some new trick you’ve come up with to embarrass yourself?”
Ge Yan was growing tired of his domineering CEO talk, so she opened a match-three game, casually playing while replying, “No need for discrimination! This show is quite sincere—just a bit poor.”
“Do you even know what you’re getting into? Farming! Herding cows! Do you think going crazy in a goose pen once will solve everything? You’re pampered and spoiled—what are you doing stirring up trouble?”
Ge Yan replied absentmindedly, “Did Cen Yan pass the audition?”
Shen Yuanming was still rambling on, trying to argue with her, but suddenly paused. “What?”
“What I do isn’t important. As long as Cen Yan passed the audition, that’s all that matters.”
Otherwise, she wouldn’t feel right about taking that five million.
“Do you think doing all this can replace Cen Yan’s place in my heart?”
Ge Yan thought: Here we go again, the male lead’s syndrome is acting up.
“How could that be? I always remember your words—I’m not even half as good as Cen Yan.”
Shen Yuanming suddenly fell silent. After a long pause, he said, “Ge Yan, you…”
“Enough, enough. Song Ruan is calling me. If you have anything else, just leave a message. Don’t worry, I’m very professional—I won’t disturb the two of you!”
As soon as she finished, Ge Yan hung up the call.
That was close—she almost let him show off again.
Shen Yuanming… to be honest, he did look a bit like the school heartthrob from her high school, one grade above her. She had even had a crush on him back then.
But now, seeing Shen Yuanming’s attitude, the lingering regrets from her teenage years finally vanished.
Lying in bed, she listened to the cicadas chirping outside the window—noisy, yet comforting.
As a child, she used to lie on the wooden kang bed with her grandfather just like this, kicking one foot idly, listening to the same rural white noise.
Before she knew it, Ge Yan had fallen asleep.