Current EP: 2,460 / 10,000
Okay — so here's something you should know about Hueco Mundo.
Most Hollows aren't like me.
They don't run around suplexing sand piles or challenging dead plants to duels.
They're big, ugly, mean, and hungry.
And when they see something weaker — like, say, a Hollow making a sand angel while humming off-key — they pounce.
Which is exactly what happened next.
I was in the middle of my latest masterpiece: The Sand Angel Triple Backflip.
It was simple in concept, impossible in execution.
You make a sand angel. You stand up. You attempt a backflip.
You fail.
[SYSTEM NOTICE: Attempted backflip with zero agility — +150 EP]
Current EP: 2,610 / 10,000
Face first into the sand. Classic.
Unfortunately, my comedic brilliance had drawn a little too much attention.
I heard it before I saw it — a deep, guttural growl behind me.
I turned my head.
Standing there was a Hollow twice my size.
Massive, jagged mask. Long, ape-like arms.
Drooling like it hadn't eaten in days.
Which, knowing Hueco Mundo, might've been true.
I swallowed hard.
Which was weird because I wasn't even sure if I had a throat anymore.
"GRUOHH…"
(Uhh… peace?)
It didn't care.
The thing charged at me, kicking up sand as it roared.
I panicked.
Naturally, I did the first thing that came to mind:
I fell backward, threw sand in my own face, and shouted "TA-DA!"
[SYSTEM NOTICE: Attempted to blind yourself with sand mid-fight — +200 EP]
Current EP: 2,810 / 10,000
Problem was — it didn't stop the Hollow.
It just made it angrier.
I scrambled to my feet and bolted.
Behind me, the big guy was gaining fast.
I darted between bone piles, tripped over a cactus (AGAIN), rolled down a dune, and landed face-first in what I hoped wasn't Hollow poop.
[SYSTEM NOTICE: Tripped over same cactus three times — +250 EP]
Current EP: 3,060 / 10,000
But the monster was still after me.
I was toast.
I ran past another Hollow — smaller, lizard-like — and it hissed at me too.
Great. Now I had two problems.
And then, the miracle.
A huge bony log lay ahead. Hollow carcass or weird bone tree, I wasn't sure.
I dove into the hollow center and held my breath.
The ape-Hollow stomped past, snarling, and the lizard one gave up chase.
I waited.
And waited.
Then, realizing I was safe — I let out the loudest, most triumphant "GRUOHOH!" of my life.
[SYSTEM NOTICE: Declared victory while hiding — +300 EP]
Current EP: 3,360 / 10,000
I'd survived.
Barely.
I slumped inside my bony hideout, panting, the system chimes still ringing in my head.
Lesson learned:
Stupid gets you points.
But too much stupid gets you killed.
Hueco Mundo wasn't a playground.
It was a deathtrap.
But dammit, I was gonna be the dumbest, most stubborn survivor it had ever seen.
[EP: 3,360 / 10,000]