Human Park Jong-hyuk.
Overcoming the greatest crisis of his life.
Thanks to Passing Dwarf, he managed to get through the major crisis, but it wasn’t completely resolved yet.
He didn’t know what kind of effect these Coco Balls had on him, but his stomach kept hurting. Specifically, his lower belly.
’Heavenly Demon wouldn’t have given me something spoiled.’
Even if they tasted bitter, the fact that they didn’t smell sour meant they definitely weren’t spoiled.
It was probably just that his body couldn’t handle them. In any case, poop is just a mass of waste, so it didn’t mean there was a problem with his body.
On the contrary, the greatest problem is when nothing comes out at all. Because that means you haven’t eaten anything.
Furthermore, since there was no risk of dehydration like with diarrhea, he could pass it off as a minor incident for now.
’First, I should wait until Heavenly Demon gives me other items.’
I stored the toilet paper I received from Passing Dwarf in a corner. Even the toilet paper was different from what I knew.
Should I say the texture was a bit rough? The absorption rate was also low, so I had a hard time cleaning up.
Still, having it was much better than not. Toilet paper could be used in many ways.
’By the way, where on earth is this place?’
I didn’t mean the forest, but the world itself. It was a mystery in the first place how there was a Gallery when there wasn’t even any internet.
Moreover, since it floated around like a status window, I had more than a few questions.
I pondered what to look at first, then decided to grasp the structure of this world.
Since there seemed to be various races, it was best to understand them in advance.
’Roughly, the races are divided into Humans, Elves, Dark Elves, Beastfolk, Demon Race, and Dwarves.’
As for nations, there are four human nations, one mixed nation, and one for each of the other races.
Aside from those, there are also regions not recognized as nations. Most of them turned out to be humans.
I wondered why humans were the most numerous, but I could figure that out as I went.
Obtaining common knowledge was a more urgent priority than the fine details.
That way, I wouldn’t be treated like a crazy person when I went outside.
Listen up, you Kkanfs
Fuck, stop cutting down and planting trees so much. We’re the only ones suffering because of you guys
ㄴLet’s Grow Trees) Why is that? If there are more trees in the world, there will be more resources, so isn’t that a good thing?
ㄴYou bastards chop down all our trees and only plant your own
ㄴAnd then you claim those trees are yours and insist it’s your land ㅡㅡ
ㄴTypical Kkanfs lmao
ㄴLet’s Grow Trees) We don’t just chop them down recklessly. We only plant them in suitable land! This is even depicted in the World Tree Subakdo mural.
ㄴCan someone please kill these Kkanf bastards? Is it even impossible to reason with them?
ㄴNope. The Elf Queen is a crazy bitch too, so you can’t talk sense into her
ㄴIsn’t this going to start a real war at this rate?
ㄴBut the Elf Queen still has some sanity, so she walks the line fucking well lol
The interesting thing was how Elves were treated. The Elves I knew were a race that loved nature and possessed a noble character.
But looking at how they were treated in the Gallery... they were practically branded as the most disliked race in the world.
Kkanf Traits
In the past, they bullshitted about being superior, only to get wrecked by other races
After getting wrecked, they did some backroom scheming, only to get wrecked again
Now, they get caught secretly planting trees and get wrecked
Do these bastards have zero learning ability?
ㄴWatch your mouth, we once fought against the entire world in the past
ㄴAnd that’s why you got wrecked by humans. Want to lose again?
ㄴlmao
ㄴLet’s Grow Trees) We have no intention of fighting. We are a peace-loving race
ㄴBullshit, then what about throwing a fit over territory?
ㄴLet’s Grow Trees) Because that was originally our Elven territory. Isn’t it only natural to reclaim it?
ㄴSigh, fuck lol
ㄴBut from their perspective, it’s true. They’re a long-lived race lol
ㄴTo them, it’s probably like 10 years ago for humans
ㄴI am truly sorry... that the young ones... are causing trouble these days...,
ㄴOh dear, Elder, you are going through a lot
ㄴI heard the Senate is suffering because of the Elf Queen lol
ㄴShouldn’t it normally be the other way around?
ㄴIt’s because the Queen is such a lunatic;;
ㄴYeah, logic is meaningless in front of true madness
Hmm... let’s just move on. Even if I go outside, I should avoid getting involved with Elves as much as possible.
This fixed nick, Let’s Grow Trees, frequently appeared in Elf-related posts, as if they were an Elf themselves.
Seeing how many users recognized them, they seemed to be a well-known figure like Heavenly Demon or Sword Matstar.
However, because they had steadily accumulated dislike stacks, they didn’t receive much of a positive response.
’Let’s leave it at this for now and check out the swordsmanship.’
For someone like me whose survival is on the line, it’s better to spend only a little time studying common knowledge.
That said, I couldn’t just wander around recklessly until I got a compass.
I checked the post written by Sword Matstar. It was the basic swordsmanship guide.
Title) You Can Do It Too! Swordsmanship Lecture: Basics Part 1
Sword Matstar
Before we get into the main topic, those who don’t know how to fight properly should carry a shield instead of just holding a sword. I recommend dedicating yourself to swordsmanship only after you know how to fight.
You think it’s not cool? You might end up dying a dog’s death while trying to show off. Right now, you’re just a scrub who knows nothing, so just shut up and carry a shield.
Also, for those who cannot use mana, I recommend learning a Mana Cultivation Method first.
That’s all well and good, but how on earth do you do a Mana Cultivation Method? I blinked my eyes.
I already knew that mana existed in this world, and that one could become stronger through it.
But that was it. I had absolutely no idea where to obtain a Mana Cultivation Method.
’And the Recommended Posts are all full of weird stuff...’
I scratched my head. The Gallery was great and all, but it was too disorganized.
Aside from Recommended Posts, the Auction House, and the Exchange, there were no specific categories.
It seemed I would have to find someone like Sword Matstar. Searching through the Gallery was too inefficient.
’There are about 30 minutes left before I can trade with Heavenly Demon again.’
This was the good thing about the Gallery. The fact that you could check the time.
Since posts were constantly being refreshed, I could naturally keep track of the time.
It was just that there were too many of them. It was a miracle that my posts didn’t get buried amidst the tidal wave of content.
Title) Anyone know how to do mana cultivation?
Wild Grylls
TSIA
’Maybe it’s because I’m a fixed nick?’
That thought occurred to me after posting the question in the Gallery. Anonymous users overwhelmingly outnumbered fixed nicks.
In terms of ratio, fixed nicks were severely lacking. Then again, "anonymity" was crucial in the Gallery.
Fixed nicks had essentially given up half of that anonymity, and if their identity were ever revealed, a mountain of dark history would be generated.
While I was lost in thought for a moment, an alarm rang. It was a signal that someone had left a comment.
I checked the comment immediately. It was Heavenly Demon.
ㄴHeavenly Demon) Isn’t a Mana Cultivation Method what we in the Central Plains call an Internal Cultivation Art?
ㄴYeah, that’s right
ㄴHeavenly Demon) In that case, this lady shall teach you.
ㄴHow good is the Mana Cultivation Method you know?
ㄴHeavenly Demon) It is a Mental Cultivation Method that shatters the heavens and shakes the earth.
ㄴlmao look at how grand it sounds
ㄴSmells like a con artist lol
Well, at least I didn’t think so. The reason was none other than the sword.
I was someone who had only ever held a bamboo sword during kendo. Even so, the sword Heavenly Demon gave me was terrifying.
It was highly likely that Heavenly Demon was also a superhuman worthy of such a weapon. Ironically, however, that was exactly why I was reluctant to learn it.
ㄴWild Grylls) I feel like I’m receiving too much, but thank you.
ㄴHeavenly Demon) You are this lady’s benefactor and fateful encounter. Please, allow me to repay this debt of gratitude.
ㄴWild Grylls) I only need a compass and something to start a fire with...
ㄴHeavenly Demon) That alone is far from enough.
This is making me feel even more apologetic. I scratched my head.
I had only found that Crescent Moon Spirit Herb or whatever by chance, and I didn’t even know if Heavenly Demon was truly in danger.
It was just a series of coincidences that led to this, so I hesitated a bit.
’...No. What am I doing, considering my current situation?’
Let’s accept her goodwill only as far as my conscience allows. But let’s not take it completely for granted.
Since I had a conscience too, I planned to repay her however I could. I wrote a positive reply.
ㄴWild Grylls) Okay. But please write it in a private post. I don’t want to attract unnecessary attention.
ㄴHeavenly Demon) Understood. First, sit in the lotus position.
Lotus position? I tilted my head.
I knew it was a term that roughly popped up in martial arts novels. But that was as far as my knowledge went.
ㄴWild Grylls) What is the lotus position?
ㄴHeavenly Demon) ?
ㄴlmao she’s flustered
ㄴIsn’t this the first time that boomer got flustered? lol
Most of the replies were teasing me. Putting my confusion aside for a moment, I searched the Gallery.
Perhaps because the lotus position itself was quite common, there were even photos of it.
I randomly selected a post and followed the instructions. It said to place your feet on top of your thighs.
"Kuaaaaang!!"
A girlish scream escaped my mouth. I tried to quickly untangle myself, but they got even more twisted, and I almost cried.
The pain felt as if every single joint in my legs was being twisted. I collapsed onto the floor, my body trembling uncontrollably.
Do I absolutely have to do the lotus position? I should ask Heavenly Demon.
ㄴWild Grylls) Heavenly Demon-nim. Do I really have to sit in the lotus position? It hurts like fucking hell;;;
ㄴHeavenly Demon) Why would this hurt? I cannot understand.
ㄴIt does hurt the first time lol
ㄴWork on your flexibility, bro lol
In the end, I decided to learn the Mana Cultivation Method next time. Perhaps Heavenly Demon was quite dumbfounded, as she seemed understanding.
I asked in the comments if I absolutely had to sit in the lotus position for the Mana Cultivation Method.
ㄴBecause it’s the standard rule
ㄴWild Grylls) Standard rule?
ㄴYeah, even if you don’t know why, you just do it lol
ㄴWild Grylls) ;;;
Either way, it seemed I would have to practice the lotus position slowly. Increasing my flexibility in this situation was going to be tough.
Instead, I read Sword Matstar’s post. "Carry a shield instead of just holding a sword."
The content was quite persuasive, and since it was suitable for me right now, I readily accepted it.
’The problem is where to get a shield.’
Cutting down a tree to make one myself wasn’t a bad option. Especially since my sword was so good.
However, cutting down trees when I didn’t even have water right now was highly inefficient.
’Ah. I should ask Heavenly Demon if she can give me some water too. Asking for a shield would be... shameless.’
Every time this happened, I wished there was a 1-on-1 chat function.
I heard it used to exist, but I didn’t know why it disappeared. It was probably due to excessive socializing.
First, I placed a few of the bitter grains on my palm. I planned to figure out their purpose first.
Title) Heavenly Demon-nim. What is the name of this thing you gave me earlier?
Wild Grylls
(Photo of the grains placed on my palm)
Putting the bad taste aside, excuse me, but it’s not spoiled, right?
ㄴHeavenly Demon) It is a Fasting Pill. It tastes a bit bitter, but it is definitely not spoiled.
ㄴWild Grylls) It’s not just a "bit" bitter though...
ㄴHeavenly Demon) Hmm. It suited this lady’s palate, however.
ㄴGrandma taste buds;;
ㄴExcuse me, but how old are you?
ㄴHeavenly Demon) I do not know. Age is not important anyway, is it?
ㄴOld people always give that kind of answer
ㄴShe really was a boomer lol
It seemed I should be a bit more polite. Since she seemed to be at least older than me.
Heavenly Demon herself didn’t seem to care much, but there was no harm in building rapport.
ㄴWild Grylls) How many of these should I eat a day?
ㄴHeavenly Demon) I believe one normally eats one pill per meal.
"Eh?"
I ate a whole handful, though. There wouldn’t happen to be any side effects, right?
ㄴWild Grylls) I ate a lot of them though...? There are no side effects, right?
ㄴHeavenly Demon) I shall go ask.
ㄴYour dick is gonna explode now lol
ㄴEx-lol-plosion
ㄴWild Grylls) Don’t say things like that, even as a joke...
I was genuinely terrified that it might actually happen. My body was already starting to feel strangely energized.
You might say it’s a good thing to feel energized, but the problem was that it was too much. To the point where I could feel heat.
Getting sick in this situation would be the absolute worst. I prayed that nothing would happen.
After some time passed, Heavenly Demon returned.
ㄴHeavenly Demon) I asked my aide, and they said there are no side effects; on the contrary, it is good for the body. In particular, they said it eliminates accumulated waste from the body.
ㄴWild Grylls) Waste?
ㄴHeavenly Demon) For ordinary people like you, it usually comes out in the stool.
ㄴWild Grylls) What about my body feeling energized?
ㄴHeavenly Demon) Since it possesses efficacy similar to Spiritual Medicine, that is a natural symptom.
Thank goodness. That meant my Big Johnson wasn’t going to explode.
I let out a sigh of relief and patted my chest. They said the heat in my body was also a sign of absorbing the energy.
Although the Fasting Pill was a type of emergency ration, it was a highly suitable food for me right now.
’Since she said that was the minimum, I guess I do have to eat a lot of them to fill up my nutrition.’
Either way, it meant I had to eat these bitter grains. I wasn’t in a position to go hunting right now anyway.
Even if I succeeded in hunting, it didn’t mean I could fulfill all my nutritional needs.
ㄴA mere grain like that has the effect of Spiritual Medicine? You’ve got to be kidding lol
ㄴHeavenly Demon) It is only natural, as it is a Fasting Pill specially crafted for this lady’s cultivation.
ㄴThen make one for me too
ㄴHeavenly Demon) I shall make you a Fasting Pill with a peculiar shape. 凸
ㄴlmao
Judging by the sword and her eating things like this, she was definitely a high-ranking person. But why are you using the Gallery?
Well, thanks to her, I received a lot of help in many ways. If it weren’t for Heavenly Demon, I would have died long ago.
While browsing the Gallery, a good idea suddenly occurred to me, so I posted a question.
Title) Roughly how much is a Mad Dog carcass worth?
Wild Grylls
Can I buy at least a crappy shield with it?
ㄴYou could probably get a used shield
ㄴWild Grylls) A brand new shield would be tough, right?
ㄴYeah, Mad Dog hide isn’t very good
ㄴWild Grylls) How much is it? I want to trade it
ㄴJust put it up on the Auction House.
ㄴWild Grylls) I told you, I don’t need money. It’s a hassle to carry around
ㄴAh, you were a newbie. You don’t need to carry it around. It gets saved directly in the Gallery
Saved? I investigated further after reading the reply.
It said you could charge cash directly into the Gallery, and it would be categorized by each country’s currency.
The exchange rates were applied as-is, but the worst part was none other than the transaction fees.
The fees were murderously higher than typical auction houses, so it wasn’t all good.
However, because of the overwhelming merit of "bypassing distribution," the usage rate was extremely high.
’What? Then I could have just put the Crescent Moon Spirit Herb on the Auction House?’
This is why information is so important.
Still, since I saved a life and even gained a precious connection, I could let it go.
Besides, because of the terrifying fees, there were just as many users who traded directly as there were on the Auction House.
ㄴWild Grylls) Then where do all the fees go? To the Orange Badge?
ㄴYeah, the Auction House and stuff are all under the Orange Badge’s jurisdiction. But we don’t know what she does with it, she has no money
ㄴDon’t Abandon the Hero) The fees are donated to the needy or spent on the development of the Gallery!
The Orange Badge, who had been quiet until now, made her appearance. It was a reply that radiated a kind heart.
ㄴOrange Badge... I’m needy too... Can you give me just 10,000 gold...?
ㄴDon’t Abandon the Hero) Ah...! I don’t have any money right now...!
ㄴFuck, don’t give it to him
ㄴThis is why we need Blue Badges. Why doesn’t the admin recruit any Blue Badges?
ㄴDon’t Abandon the Hero) Because it’s better if I do the hard work alone! Blue Badges are unpaid, after all!
Just how many times had she been backstabbed for the anonymous users to hold the Orange Badge back like this?
Most of the replies even scolded the anonymous user roleplaying as a needy person, telling them not to say such things even as a joke.
This showed that public opinion toward the Orange Badge was extremely positive. By the way, how is the Orange Badge elected?
’Let’s figure that out later.’
For now, I should put the Mad Dog carcass up for auction. I stepped out of the cave.
I had discarded the Mad Dog carcass far away from the cave. Since I had memorized the path completely, there shouldn’t be any problem.
"Kkumcheok. Kkumcheok. Munch, munch."
"..."
"Kkadeudeuk! Kkadeuk!"
I take that back. A problem has occurred.
A bear—no, an owl—was doing a delicious mukbang of the Mad Dog carcass.
Its face was clearly that of an owl, but its size was larger than a bear. I hurriedly uploaded a photo.
Title) What is this bastard?
Wild Grylls
(Photo of something doing a delicious mukbang of the Mad Dog carcass)
Fuck, I went to get the Mad Dog carcass, but this fatty is eating it. Anyone know what this is?
ㄴHoly shit, that’s an Owlbear
ㄴAn Owlbear is one thing, but why is its size like that?
ㄴFuck, a house is walking around lol
ㄴIf you get hit by those claws, it’s instant death
So that’s an Owlbear. As soon as I realized its identity, I stealthily backed away.
Should I call this a case of doing all the hard work only for someone else to benefit? Still, at least I kept my life, so that was a relief.
’Fuck. I need to run away quickly.’
Wild dogs were one thing, but a bear was out of the question. Its size was also ridiculously massive.
I backed away stealthily, and once I was far enough, I ran toward the cave.
What would have happened if I had arrived just a bit earlier? Just imagining it made me dizzy.
’What should I do? Should I defend from inside the cave?’
Going outside was too risky with unknown dangers lurking, but staying holed up in the cave was terrifying because of the Owlbear.
I had barely escaped the greatest crisis of my life, only for another crisis to strike. The only thing I could rely on was the Sword of the Heavenly Demon.
Heavenly Demon-nim has requested a trade. Do you wish to accept?
While I was trembling with anxiety, Heavenly Demon initiated a trade. Looking at the time, it was indeed about that time.
I hurriedly accepted Heavenly Demon’s proposal. At the same time, the familiar empty slots appeared.
Heavenly Demon-nim has registered the trade items.
[Heavenly Demon: Here are the compass and the Ignition Stone you requested. The Ignition Stone can be charged with Internal Energy. It is strange, just like the lotus position.]
[Wild Grylls: Thank you. But since I don’t know how to use Internal Energy, is there any other way?]
[Heavenly Demon: Hmm? If you do not know how to use Internal Energy, how are you accessing the Gallery?]
Hearing Heavenly Demon’s words, it seemed that one had to know how to use Internal Energy (mana) to access the Gallery.
It was hard for me to explain either, as all sorts of bizarre phenomena unfolded the moment I opened my eyes.
Since it was difficult to explain everything one by one, I gave a brief answer first.
[Wild Grylls: Circumstances being what they are, it’s hard for me to explain in detail. And we’re short on time.]
[Heavenly Demon: Hmm. Understood. At any rate, the Ignition Stone produces fire when you press the button, so you should be able to use it. Is there anything else you need?]
[Wild Grylls: Excuse me, but could you also give me some water...?]
[Heavenly Demon: If it is your request, gladly.]
[Wild Grylls: Oh. Thank you so much!]
I expressed my gratitude to Heavenly Demon and accepted the traded items.
Then, the relief goods (?) materialized on the ground. A compass, an Ignition Stone, and a large water bottle, respectively.
Every single one of them had an Oriental feel. I checked the Ignition Stone first.
’The button is... here.’
Hwareuk!
When I pressed the button, a faint flame flared up at the edge. This was enough.
The next thing to check was the compass. With a compass, escaping would become much easier.
The reason people get lost in the forest is because they lose their sense of direction. With just this one thing, everything...
"Huh?"
...would be solved, but confusion arose first. My eyes widened.
The compass, which normally should point steadily in one direction, was behaving strangely. It couldn’t settle on one spot and kept spinning round and round.
Did Heavenly Demon give me a broken one? Feeling slightly flustered, I posted on the Gallery.
Title) Heavenly Demon-nim. I think the compass is broken?
Wild Grylls
(Video of the compass spinning, having lost its sense of direction)
The needle is spinning round and round, why is it doing this...? I think you gave me a broken one...
ㄴHeavenly Demon) Hmm? That should not be possible. It was perfectly fine when this lady sent it.
Heavenly Demon replied immediately. I couldn’t help but feel even more puzzled.
Why was a compass that was perfectly fine just a moment ago acting like this? This made my situation even more awkward.
ㄴDid it get messed up during the trade?
ㄴNo no no, that’s probably not it, since it’s based on teleportation
ㄴIt’s rare for it to suddenly break down like that
ㄴIt’s spinning round and round nicely
ㄴJust like your life?
ㄴShut up
Other users also expressed their doubts. Why was a perfectly fine compass acting like that?
Of course, it could be a coincidence and it just broke right after the trade. I needed another one to compare.
ㄴWild Grylls) Anyone who can lend me a compass? I’ll return it as soon as some time passes
ㄴStarlight Lady) I’ll give you one
ㄴPrincess Chaenggu) I’ll give you one too
ㄴPraise the Sun) Me too
ㄴDon’t Abandon the Hero) I want to give you one too, but I don’t have any, so I’m sad...
Did they feel that something was unusual? Fixed nicks who didn’t usually comment suddenly swarmed in.
It seemed I had caught the interest of the fixed nicks in that short span of time. The aftermath of the Crescent Moon Spirit Herb seemed to be quite significant.
Thanks to them, I was able to obtain all sorts of compasses. They were truly diverse.
Title) Fuck, they’re all the same?
Wild Grylls
(Video of the spinning compasses)
They’ve completely lost their sense of direction like some kind of outsider. What is seriously wrong with this?
ㄴHeavenly Demon) Strange indeed.
ㄴSword Matstar) That is strange.
ㄴPrincess Chaenggu) That’s strange.
ㄴPassing Dwarf) Why is it like that? Did you pour alcohol on the compass?
ㄴWild Grylls) Shut up
Their states were all the same. Every single one of them was spinning round and round.
While everyone was harboring doubts, a few users shared their opinions in the comments.
ㄴThere is only one possibility, but that kind of case does exist, yeah
ㄴWhat is it?
ㄴWhen you enter the Forest of the Four Seasons. I heard that magnetism and mana are all tangled up there, so compasses don’t work
ㄴBullshit, if that were the case, you wouldn’t even be able to access the Gallery
ㄴBut it really can only be the Forest of the Four Seasons, though?
ㄴIt’s not like all those compasses could be broken
ㄴWhere on earth is the OP lol
ㄴDid you get drunk and end up in the Forest of the Four Seasons lol
Everyone’s reactions were half-doubting. For now, there were two opinions.
The compasses are broken, so it is the Forest of the Four Seasons.
No, it’s not. If it were the Forest of the Four Seasons, accessing the Gallery would be impossible.
Either way, my feelings boiled down to one thing.
’...I think I’m kind of fucked?’
The situation was taking a strange turn.