I made a huge blunder.
Yesterday, I scared off a pretentious friend of Mum’s.
She was really scared and made a mess even after leaving.
She contacted their college friends and told them all about the ‘demon child’ Riya is raising.
The bad thing is that it made Mum furious.
The worse thing is that more friends of our Mum came to visit after the incident.
They all wanted to take Mum’s side.
Today, five friends of our Mum also came home.
Memorising the names of all five of them was trouble.
So I am going to name them however I like.
They came after lunch.
They brought many sweets and some baby products.
All the sweets would go to Anu, and I wouldn’t get anything.
Also, some of the clothes they brought as a gift were for a girl child, as they thought I would look cute in them.
I hated it.
The five friends consoled Mum.
“You know how stupid she is.
I am sure she saw some dream.” The tall one said.
“The best thing is that she is finally speaking properly.
You have no idea how much I hated her fake accent.” The average one said.
“Since her speaking disability is healed, I don’t mind even if your son is haunted.” A beautiful short lady said as she picked me up.
The look on Mum’s face said that she didn’t like that comment.
“Keep that aside.
When are you getting married?” Mum launched a vicious attack at the short lady.
“When your son turns 18.” The short lady replied without even blinking.
The entire room broke into laughter.
Mum also laughed.
But it wasn’t exactly laughter.
I knew that she was getting angrier and angrier.
But I liked that comment.
“Look at his smile…
He liked that.” The pregnant lady said, poking my cheeks.
I was indeed smiling ear to ear.
I just imagined baby me marrying her, and it was funny.
Too bad.
I already have someone.
“He laughs and smiles if others do it,” Mum replied.
Poor Mum.
She didn’t know that I was understanding everything and laughing.
“Just wait.
In six months I will be having one like this.”The pregnant lady said.
“We are all looking forward to that.
Do you even know how to hold a baby?” The short lady found her new prey.
“I know a bit.” The pregnant lady replied in a low voice.
“It’s fine.
I can teach you.” Mum stepped in.
In no time, I became the guinea pig.
The pregnant woman held me in different positions and even burped me.
“At first, babies will poop and pee whenever they want.
There is no choice other than to clean up after that.
But as time passes, you can slowly train them.” Mum said as she took off my clothes.
I tried to protest.
But the dignity of a baby has no value in our society.
Within seconds, I was naked, and five ladies were staring at my unnamed parts.
I tried to cover it with my hands.
Unfortunately, my baby hands were a bit short, and I could barely reach the important parts.
“He does that every time.
You will get used to such habits of kids.” Mum ignored it and passed me the pregnant lady.
“Hold him like this and ask him to poop,” Mum instructed the pregnant lady.
It was extremely embarrassing.
I was in her arms, over the plastic sheet, with my legs raised by her arms, and she was asking me to poop.
To make the situation worse, the other four ladies were looking curiously for the poop.
I mean…
Seriously!!!
It’s poop!
It’s not gold.
It’s not silver.
IT’S POOP!
Why the hell are all these ladies staring…
I was desperate.
As if the staring wasn’t enough, they all started cheering for me to poop.
“Poop…
poop…
poop…” The ladies started chanting, and the short lady started waving flowers in the air like a cheerleader.
‘Where did she even get that from?’ I wondered.
From another view, I was the luckiest baby in the world.
It was like a gang of cheer girls cheering for me to poop.
Who else in the world would get such treatment?
Other babies cannot even dream of such a treatment.
But still, I did not poop.
Slowly, I realised that this wasn’t working.
They wouldn’t stop until I poop.
The only way to stop it was to give them what they want.
So I decided to poop.
I pooped.
I added as much pressure as possible and pooped and peed.
It was the most uncomfortable and fastest poop in my life.
I emptied my bowels in a second.
“Yaaayyy!!!” Clap clap clap…
The ladies cheered and clapped in celebration.
I looked at them with pity.
After decades of growth, this bunch of stupid ladies are cheering for a baby to poop.
Life is weird.
I don’t even want to tell you how the cleaning process happened.
It is extremely embarrassing, and I don’t even want to recall it.
My dignity died little by little.
“You want to try feeding him?” Mum asked without giving me a second to rest.
‘What!!!’ I screamed in my mind.
“But I don’t have milk.” The pregnant woman replied shyly.
The other ladies giggled.
“That’s no problem.
Babies would suck on anything you put in front of them.” Mum encouraged her.
‘No, lady.
I don’t suck on anything, and I don’t like where this is going.’ I disagreed in my mind.
Soon, my fear became a reality.
The pregnant lady was a bit shy.
But still, she wanted to try feeding me.
Apparently, all the ladies were quite close in the college, and all of them except 2 were mothers.
So she wasn’t ashamed to feed me in front of the other ladies.
I tried resisting.
I kicked her and cried.
Unfortunately, I had already emptied everything in my storage.
In the end, she held me close to her and took out her feeding machine.
Don’t judge me.
I did take a look at it out of curiosity.
I couldn’t help but compare it with Mum’s.
Mum’s is bigger.
I was a bit proud and felt bad for her future kids.
Then I turned my head away.
I had no intention of drinking, as I knew there was nothing to drink.
Strangely, the room went quiet.
“Did he…
did he just take a look and reject your breast?” One lady asked in disbelief.
“He did!” The tall lady replied.
The next moment, they all exploded into laughter.
The short lady was laughing so hard that she fell down along with her chair.
Mum supported herself on the table and laughed.
The tall lady was laughing with a weird sound.
The pregnant woman started sulking.
Getting rejected by a baby who lives on primal instincts left a dent in her pride.
She placed me on the bed.
“I am sure your dad’s blood runs through you.” She ‘complimented’ me.
“Wait…
wait.
I have a good one.” The short lady popped up and said while struggling to control her laughter.
“Rose just remembered her husband’s reaction on their first night.” She added.
The ladies broke into another round of laughter.
‘What is the meaning of life?’ I wondered as I tried my best not to think about the ridiculous stuff these women were saying.
After a few minutes, the laughter died down.
“Do you think that my future kid will find my breast, not to their …
liking?” The pregnant woman started asking and struggled to find the proper words.
The reply was another round of laughter.
The pregnant woman just sat there glaring at her laughing friends.
I felt sorry for her.
I realised that I ruined her confidence.
I felt guilty.
But there was nothing I could do now.
Whatever happened, happened.
Hours passed.
Anu came home from her school.
Once Anu came, Doodu also came out of his kennel and started running around.
He is actually well-behaved and learned everything quickly.
I continued listening to the ladies.
From the talks of the ladies, I slowly understood many things.
Mum had a lot of friends.
She was a silent girl in college who had countless friends.
She never gave up on a friend.
Even if they were toxic, Mum tried to help them.
That’s why Mum had many horrible friends.
Dad was one of those too.
Dad was a troublesome student who was into politics and never cared about studies.
Mum was a good friend of his for a long time.
But no one ever thought that Mum would fall for Dad.
No one even knew what actually happened.
Dad had a breakup, and out of nowhere, Mum jumped in and stole Dad.
That’s the only thing everyone knows.
I hope I will find out the full story one day.