The following Monday. Sosuke had no idea what sort of face he ought to show Nanase. At work, though, Nanase treated him as if nothing had happened.
Then came lunch break. Usually the two of them went to the employee cafeteria together, but today Sosuke went alone. When the break came, Nanase had vanished somewhere.
He was eating curry and rice when the part-time housewives from the same department passed by. One of them, Mitsuhashi Yuko, noticed him. She broke away from the group and came over.
”What’s up? You’re always with Ms. Yamanishi, but today you’re on your own?”
”Yeah. Ms. Yamanishi said she had something to take care of, so…”
Sosuke cobbled together something vague on the spot. Honestly, today he did not feel like chatting easily with Nanase. After what she had done to him, he could not help but be conscious of her as a woman. Did Nanase have feelings for him? He liked her too. But he had Yukino.
Yuko smiled.
”You know, the rest of us had a rumor going that you and Ms. Yamanishi were an item. She always looked so happy when she was talking to you.”
”No, that’s not… we’re not an item…”
Yuko’s face fell in obvious disappointment.
”Oh, really? She’s a good deal older than you, but to me you two looked good together.”
Just then, Yuko’s companions, waiting a little way off, called out.
”Ms. Mitsuhashi, we’re going!”
Yuko nodded toward them.
”If you’ve got feelings, confess. Ms. Yamanishi will say yes, guaranteed.”
With that, Yuko walked away.
Yukino’s intimidating presence and Nanase’s easygoing nature… it was heaven and hell, but there was no need to weigh them on a scale. What Sosuke chose was, in the end, Yukino.
A few days later. The final day of Sosuke’s part-time work at Tomita Pharmaceutical arrived. Following Nanase’s instructions, he went about the work matter-of-factly, and after the evening shift ended, he greeted the people who had looked after him. Here too, Nanase was nowhere to be seen.
As Sosuke was leaving through the company’s main gate, a message from Nanase came to his smartphone. She had something to talk about, and was waiting at the park near the station they always used.
The designated park was small and deserted. Nanase, in casual clothes, stood at the entrance.
When she spotted Sosuke, she ran over, took his hand, and made him sit on a bench beneath a large tree at the back of the park. Then she sat down beside him. Nanase wore a tense expression. She was silent for a little while, but then opened her mouth as though she had made up her mind.
”I know you have a girlfriend. How serious is it, exactly?”
”How serious…”
”You know. Like, you’ve only been together a little while and haven’t even kissed yet – or you’ve done everything but it still doesn’t feel settled. There are levels to a relationship, right?”
And, with her face slightly flushed, she stared at Sosuke.
”I’ve fallen for you. So if there’s even a little gap between you and her, I want to wedge myself into it. I want to take you from her. That’s why I need to know how serious it is.”
Nanase knew she was saying something outrageous. But after spending this past month with Sosuke, she could not suppress the feelings for him that kept swelling. She supposed she had held affection for him from the very first day he came to work part-time.
Last Sunday, they had done something like a date. As they spent time together, she wanted to monopolize him, and in the end she could not hold the feeling back any longer, so even in the middle of a crowd she had hugged Sosuke and kissed him.
Sosuke could tell that Nanase was speaking seriously. She was a person who said things plainly. There was no choice now but to talk properly.
”The person I’m with now is my fiancée. Both families approve, and we already live together. We’re planning to marry after I graduate, but if she gets pregnant, we’ll put it on paper right away.3“
Hearing this, Nanase’s shoulders slumped dejectedly.
”What is that supposed to mean… There’s no gap for me to wedge into at all…”
Nanase was silent for a while, but eventually the silence turned into sobs. With no words to offer the weeping Nanase, Sosuke simply sat beside her.
Though it was late September, by the time the still-sweltering sunlight began to slant, Nanase finally raised her face, tears still lingering in her eyes. She showed an awkward smile.
”Haah… so crying on you doesn’t work either. All right. I’ll give up on you cleanly, Sosuke.”
Saying that, she stood up from the bench.
”Time to switch gears and go find myself a good man.”
Then, with a loud “See you!” she broke into a run toward the park entrance. Sosuke, facing away, could not see it, but Nanase was crying with her whole face scrunched up.
When he returned to the apartment in Iidabashi, Yukino was waiting with dinner prepared.
”Welcome back. You’re a little late.”
”Yeah. I was saying my goodbyes to the people who looked after me.”
As soon as Sosuke changed into his loungewear, dinner was served. Today too, Yukino’s home cooking was delicious. It was delicious, but…
That night. Sosuke could not fall asleep, and kept tossing and turning.
”Can’t you sleep?”
Yukino’s quiet voice reached him.
”Sorry. Did I wake you?”
In the darkness, Yukino was gazing steadily at Sosuke. Even without “that face,” there was no intimidation.
”Did something happen?”
”No, it’s not really that…”
Something murky welled up in Sosuke’s mind. He knew what it was. It was true that living with Yukino required getting used to things and learning the knack. But relying on that and papering over his true feelings was not good.
The sense of security he had felt with Nanase had to be something he could feel from Yukino too. After all, he would be with Yukino from now on, always. Because he had not made the effort to make that happen, he had leaned on Nanase and ended up hurting her.
”So, look. The food you cook is really good. I’m grateful for it, always. But sometimes I want to eat something with a real punch.1“”Something with a real punch?”
”Yeah. Yakiniku, for instance.2 Even if the meat’s a bit tough, as long as it’s got something to chew on, I’m happy. And I want a thick, punchy sauce. I want to shovel it down with beer and white rice. It’s not elegant, but that’s the kind of thing I like…”
Yukino’s eyes turned slightly frightening. Without thinking, Sosuke said, “Sorry…”
But her eyes softened.
”Don’t be silly. You should have told me that much sooner. Be honest with me about what you think. I intend to answer whatever you feel – because I love you, Sosuke.”
And the corners of her mouth loosened a little.
”Could it be that you couldn’t sleep because you wanted yakiniku?”
Sosuke smiled too.
”Maybe.”
”Then tomorrow’s dinner shall be yakiniku. I’ll find a place you’ll like.”
”Nice one!”
Sosuke found Yukino unbearably dear. He embraced her soft body. At first she had been hard to approach, but now he thought this chest was the place he came home to.
”…Can I touch your chest?”
”Not tonight. I have an important meeting first thing in the morning, so I need to sleep properly.”
Yukino’s body was sweet and smelled nice. Even without sex, just holding her felt wonderful.
”I’ll hold you like this, so sleep easy.”
”Yeah…”
Held in Yukino’s arms, Sosuke gradually drifted off to sleep.
Trivia:
- Yuko’s remark that Nanase “looked really happy” talking with Sosuke quietly confirms Nanase’s feelings predate her confession, echoing the narrator’s suspicion that she liked him from his first day.
- Nanase’s question about “levels” of a relationship is her way of probing for a crack without directly asking to be chosen, revealing she already half-expects rejection.
- Sosuke’s sudden craving for yakiniku is really a plea for honesty and raw comfort, and Yukino’s instant understanding shows she reads his needs better than his polite silence suggested.
Translation Notes:
1 ↩ A Japanese expression for something with a strong, punchy impact. Here Sosuke uses it to mean hearty, strongly flavored food like grilled meat, contrasting with refined home cooking.
2 ↩ Yakiniku, Japanese-style grilled meat eaten at a tabletop grill. Sosuke longs for this casual, robust meal as a counterpoint to elegant home-cooked dishes.
3 ↩ Literally “entering the register,” a Japanese idiom for officially registering a marriage. Sosuke means they will formally marry as soon as she becomes pregnant.