10: I Got My Confession Rejected by Yukinoshita Right Out of the Gate!
[10] 10: I Got My Confession Rejected by Yukinoshita Right Out of the Gate!
[10] That evening, after finishing her part-time job and walking home, Tadayana happened to run into Yukino Yukinoshita at a crossroads.
“Good evening.” “Good evening.” “Heading somewhere?
It’s pretty late to still be out.” Tadayana spoke first.
“Aren’t you the same?
You’re out alone this late too.” Yukino Yukinoshita shot back.
“Because there are objective facts about me that can’t be adjusted at will.
So I’m using my own actions to activate subjective initiative and change them—to make up for that.” “You’re a strange person too.
You keep saying things no one can understand.” Yukino Yukinoshita let out a sigh.
Over the past month, she had run into no shortage of strange people.
And it seemed every last one of them had their own set of principles they acted by.
“You are too.” “That’s true.” Hearing Tadayana say that, Yukino Yukinoshita didn’t argue.
“What?
Have you run into something exhausting these past few days?
You look worn out.” Noticing the dark circles under Yukino Yukinoshita’s eyes, along with how much duller her complexion looked than before, Tadayana continued.
“Yes.
But it’s nothing.
I just have to finish reading the manuscript of an original novel written by some weirdo who uses bizarre language as adjectives for everything, then give thorough suggestions for improvement.” “That sounds pretty awful…
But is someone forcing you to do that?
No one should be making you go out of your way to do something like that.” Tadayana couldn’t imagine being forced to read a novel that was basically a pile of crap and then having to give a full evaluation of it without wanting to hit someone.
And the fact that Yukino Yukinoshita would willingly bring this suffering upon herself left her baffled.
“Oh, right—you didn’t know.
At the moment, Hikigaya-kun, Yuigahama-san, and I are all doing club activities together in a club called the Service Club.
In other words, whenever someone asks for help, we have to consider whether to respond, regardless of the specific content.
As long as it isn’t too unreasonable, we can accept it.” “Since I’m the one who founded the club and established its purpose in the first place, it’s only right that I lead by example.
As for Hikigaya-kun and Yuigahama-san, those two probably aren’t all that willing to follow me around doing this and that.
I don’t blame them.
After all, they were dragged into it.” “Oh, so the last time I saw you three together in the home economics room, you were helping with a request.
But judging by how it looked then, the client was Yui Yuigahama—so at the time, she hadn’t joined your club yet, and was there as a requester instead?” “That’s right.
I didn’t expect you to be so clever.
You understood that very quickly.” Yukino Yukinoshita was a little surprised that Tadayana had pieced together that much in such a short time.
“Thanks for the compliment.
I’ve always had a good brain.” After all, she used dialectics as an ideological weapon to keep her thinking sharp on a daily basis.
“But…
wait…
you mean you have to at least try to fulfill any request no matter what?” “Yes…” “And is there any compensation?” Yukino Yukinoshita fell silent at that question.
“So there isn’t?” “Mm.
I do feel rather sorry for the two of them.
Especially Yuigahama-san.
As for Hikigaya-kun, though, since his thinking genuinely does need correcting, it doesn’t matter.” What…
Hikigaya had no human rights?
After sparing the gloomy guy a brief moment of pity, Tadayana continued thinking.
Was this what people called an idealist?
As for the group known as idealists, Tadayana had categorized them a long, long time ago.
Some belonged to the branch of utopians.
They thought of themselves as idealists, but their defining trait was that all their thoughts and ideas relied purely on subjective fantasy, without ever starting from real conditions to think about how to solve problems.
Then there were idealists with a theory of action.
Compared to the utopians, they were a little more advanced.
But when it came to certain factors that would obviously affect whether a problem could be solved, if preserving those factors happened to help perfect their particular brand of idealism, then they would ignore objective reality and preserve them anyway.
Whichever of the two it was, in the end it was still for the sake of their own emotional needs.
One, assuming a basically sound personality, simply sought the pleasure of going outward and doing something for its own sake.
The other sought something from other people—enough to make up for what they themselves lacked, so they could reach a new state in which the self could move toward independence and wholeness.
At its core, it was a kind of self-salvation.
So the latter was fundamentally different from the former.
One merely sought to please itself.
The other was acting to save itself.
“Are you the latter?” “Hm?” Yukino Yukinoshita looked completely lost at Tadayana’s abrupt question.
“Nothing.
That kind of action is good.
It helps with the formation of a healthy personality.
Doing more of that sort of thing can also create positive feedback and suppress the negative feedback caused by overthinking too much.
It’s pretty good.
Keep it up.” “…I have no idea what you decided to understand all on your own.
But thank you for the concern anyway.” “Mm-hm.
See you.” With that, Tadayana waved and left.
“Mm.
See you tomorrow…” Yukino Yukinoshita, without meaning to, copied Tadayana’s gesture and waved goodbye as well.
The awkwardness of the motion made her look both cute and faintly ridiculous.
“Yukino Yukinoshita has childhood psychological trauma after all?
I see…
If that trauma really exists, then the way she’s become excessively self-reliant and self-strengthening now makes sense.” Walking along the road, Tadayana continued musing to herself.
Contradiction was the driving force behind development.
Even Yukino Yukinoshita herself had never realized that it was precisely because of those childhood wounds that she had taken action step by step to free herself from them, continuously feeding herself new things and enriching herself until she became who she was today.
Even now, she was still making new attempts—and she would surely go on to become an even newer self.