The sky of the capital at the hour of Yin resembled an expensive mineral pigment painting, where deep blue, ashen white, and tangerine orange layered yet blended seamlessly together.
Beneath the tangerine-hued morning glow stood gray walls and green tiles, while behind the misty pine trees lay a delicate blush. If any shop could capture such colors in rouge, it would surely take the capital by storm.
Prince Xiang was advanced in years, and like many elders, he slept little.
Yet He Yunzhao, who still bore the appearance of a youth—an age typically devoted to deep slumber—could rise so early, which was truly astonishing.
He knew Yunzhao had studied diligently since childhood, but witnessing such hardship firsthand made Prince Xiang somewhat uneasy.
Yunzhao carried his book bag, walking attentively beside his grandfather, mindful of the elder’s every move. He kept a slight distance, careful not to tire him out.
A carriage followed behind, ready for Prince Xiang to rest in whenever fatigue set in.
Stopping in front of a bun shop on South Street, Yunzhao pointed cheerfully and said, “Grandfather, this is the place! Their lamb buns are exquisite, and with a bowl of mutton soup, the aroma alone could bowl you over!”
His tone was full of allure. Prince Xiang glanced over and saw the shop was indeed crowded, though few lingered.
The small, square shop had a flagpole out front bearing a large circle that, upon closer inspection, vaguely resembled a bun.
The rich fragrance—steaming meat and scallions—wafted through the air, whetting the appetite.
Prince Xiang feigned disdain, remarking, “Why not eat properly at home? Everything outside is coarse and poorly made.”
Yunzhao set out a stool, guiding his grandfather to sit, and replied, “Home-cooked meals are fine, but they grow monotonous. It’s nice to venture out for a treat now and then.”
He called out his order with practiced ease: “Boss, four lamb buns and two bowls of mutton soup. One bowl…”
“One without scallions!” the owner chimed in jovially. “Young Master He, back again! How are your studies treating you?”
The owner was lean and dark-skinned, dressed in a clean, coarse blue robe.
“Haven’t seen you much lately, Young Master He. Thought you might’ve lost your taste for our fare.”
Yunzhao laughed. “How could I? I’ve been craving this for ages.”
Prince Xiang watched their exchange with a furrowed brow, surprised by how congenial Yunzhao was in public.
The buns, prepared and steamed overnight, were kept on the highest tier. At each order, the owner would climb a ladder, retrieve them with long wooden tongs, and serve them promptly. Soon, four steaming buns and two bowls of mutton soup arrived.
The clear, hot broth glistened with oil and scallions—except for Yunzhao’s bowl, which was free of scallions and instead held two small cabbage leaves.
The academy granted a break every ten days. In the first few days, Yunzhao would head to school full of vigor, but by the fourth or fifth day, weariness set in, and even stepping out felt like a chore.
So, starting on the fourth day, he would visit this bun shop for lamb buns.
With one bite of the warm, savory bun, his spirits would instantly lift.
Seated comfortably in the humble shop, he carried himself with the poise of one at a grand banquet.
Unconsciously, Prince Xiang found himself finishing two buns as well.
The servants accompanying them were seated by He Yunzhao at the neighboring table, all well-fed and content, their bodies warmed by the hearty soups and stews.
The shop owner nervously slipped into the small back room and whispered to his wife, "Young Master He has brought an elderly gentleman who looks quite wealthy, with many attendants following behind. Should we wipe the tables again?"The boss lady, who was busy pleating dumplings, exclaimed softly and peeked out."
Indeed, the old man exuded wealth! Despite his advanced age, his beard and hair were so impeccably groomed they seemed to gleam. Sitting there, he resembled the Kitchen God himself.
She swatted her husband lightly. "Wipe what? They've already started eating—no need to bother them now!"
Old Yang ducked his head and quickly retreated.
Young Master He had been coming here since he was very little, always ordering lamb soup without scallions or lamb meat.
The child appeared quite young, dressed neatly and speaking in a measured tone, with servants and nannies hovering nearby, attending to him meticulously.
At first, the owner had been apprehensive. His shop was humble, and few patrons dined in; most bought food to take away.
Wealthy households would send servants to buy steamed buns, only to fan their noses from a distance, disdainful of the lamb's aroma.
Old Yang spent extra time each day ensuring everything was spotless, afraid customers would deem his lamb buns unclean.
Whenever Young Master He visited, he would wipe down the tables and chairs a few extra times.
The young master preferred sitting near the entrance, where the temperature was just right—neither too hot nor too cold.
Over time, Old Yang began to notice patterns: if the boy arrived with a gloomy expression, it meant his studies weren't going well; if he hummed a tune, he was in high spirits.
The fresh-faced youth was simply likable, and Old Yang always felt too shy to say much when speaking with him.
Though clumsy with words and not particularly sharp, he could tell that scholars like Young Master He were distinctly different from ordinary folk!
Old Yang's wife also adored the young master. As she put it, "He's destined to become a high official—you can just tell he's exceptional!"
The common folk held simple beliefs: if they liked someone, they liked them plainly; scholars were admirable, and even exchanging a few words with one brought joy.
Last year, just before the Lantern Festival, He Yunzhao visited and casually composed a couplet for the Yang couple.
They were overjoyed for days, reciting it repeatedly until they memorized it, then sharing it dozens of times with their neighbors!
He Yunzhao said to Prince Xiang, "Great-grandfather, you see—everyone finds joy in their own way. I act according to my principles, so you needn't worry."
Prince Xiang stuffed the last bite of bun into his mouth. "I'm old now and don't understand how things work these days. As long as you're confident in your decisions."
"But remember one thing!" Prince Xiang said sternly. "If you ever need anything from your great-grandfather, just ask. Don't bear burdens alone."
He Yunzhao smiled and nodded.
Watching He Yunzhao stride into the academy, Prince Xiang's eyes held complex emotions before he finally sighed.
The old man wandered off, hands clasped behind his back, shaking his head. "Age… age catches up with us all."
Prince Xiang had many descendants, but among the younger generation, He Yunzhao received the most attention—naturally, because the prince's heart ached for his daughter. After her husband and son passed away one after another, leaving only He Yunzhao as the sole heir, how could the old man not dote on him?
Yet the fondness truly began during Prince Xiang's birthday banquet…
A group of children were playing together, but Lady He, overly protective of Xiao Zhao, kept a close watch, scarcely letting him out of her sight.
These children, born into wealth and nobility from princely households, were not known for their good temperaments. They pointed and laughed, teasing He Yunzhao as a mere brat.
He was only four or five years old, so short he barely reached others’ waists, yet he simply watched the other children with a calm expression.
“Your parents don’t want you—that’s why they left you here to play. My mother loves me the most, which is why she stays with me. Your parents don’t like you at all.”
The words were so cutting that the child’s wails echoed through half the princely estate. By the time a circle of elders rushed over, Lady He was flustered and frantic.
Meanwhile, He Yunzhao, still a child himself, had monopolized all the toys, arranging them in order and playing with them one by one.
This only made the other children cry even louder!
Even then, Prince Xiang knew: this child was no ordinary pond fish!
Now, seeing him achieve the top rank in the imperial examinations at such a young age, Prince Xiang—who had never studied a day in his life—didn’t quite grasp the significance of such an accomplishment.
But when he learned that He Yunzhao had outmaneuvered Pei Shangxuan so thoroughly that the latter dared not show his face, Prince Xiang immediately recognized another promising talent skilled in the art of power play.
As Prince Xiang walked, stroking his beard before boarding his carriage, he suddenly turned to his attendant in puzzlement. “Do you think the He family’s bloodline is truly this remarkable?”
“How is it that every member of the He family seems to be so clever, while even my own sons aren’t as sharp as I am?”
…
He Yunzhao had other matters to attend to that day. She studied with Senior Liu Yuan in the morning and took leave in the afternoon to visit Grand Scholar Liao’s residence and express her gratitude.
She wanted to thank the elder for his righteous advocacy. Without Grand Scholar Liao’s support, she wouldn’t have garnered the backing of so many scholars.
After packing her books and bidding farewell to her senior, she prepared to leave.
“Huh? Where are you going?” Mu Yan hurried after her.
He Yunzhao suddenly remembered. “Ah, that’s what I forgot to mention. I’m going to Grand Scholar Liao’s residence this afternoon to thank him.”
Understanding dawning, Mu Yan took the books from her hands with a bright smile. “Go ahead, I’ll take these back for you.”
“Honestly, if you’re visiting Grand Scholar Liao, why even bother coming to class? You could’ve gone straight there.”
Handing him the books, she explained, “The invitation specified the afternoon, so I’ll go then. Besides, Grand Scholar Liao is a highly respected scholar. If I skipped class for the entire day, it might invite a lecture from him.”
Noticing Mu Yan’s subdued expression, she asked immediately, “What’s wrong? You look troubled.”
Mu Yan’s eyes curved into a smile, though his heart trembled. He didn’t tell the truth. “It’s nothing. Failing the academy exam is actually a relief—no more assignments for me.”
He Yunzhao scoffed playfully, studying him closely. He was definitely hiding something, but it could wait.
“Fine, enjoy your freedom then. I’d better go now, or I’ll be late.”
With that, He Yunzhao turned and left. Mu Yan watched her retreating figure—slender and elegant, every bit the refined scholar from behind. Her ink-black hair, tied high, made her appear even taller.
Was this the secret to why He Yunzhao sometimes seemed taller than him?
Mu Yan sighed quietly, his eyes filled with disappointment. He was still too dull and not diligent enough.
Truthfully, he didn’t enjoy studying much. But with so many of his brothers practicing martial arts and his father having limited resources, he didn’t want to compete with them. So, he had obediently followed his mother’s advice and taken up his studies.
If it weren't for Xiao Zhao accompanying him in his studies, he would have long abandoned literature for martial arts.
He Yunzhao was an intelligent and diligent person, constantly pushing himself to study as if driven by some invisible force urging him onward.
It seemed he would never pause for anyone…
After the academy examinations concluded, Mu Yan briefly made a fuss, but the disappointment and sorrow in his heart ran far deeper than what he showed.
Xiao Zhao's results were outstanding, and he would soon take the provincial examinations. Mu Yan knew all too well that the gap between them would only widen.
If his own academic progress remained stagnant, the two of them would inevitably drift further apart.
His arms tightened around the books, the force almost crushing them, as Mu Yan lowered his head in dejection.
He had even been the last to learn about Feng Qing’s attempt to harm Xiao Zhao—he was of no help at all.
A drop of water fell on his shoe, soaking into an irregular circle…
Some people may cross paths briefly on the journey of learning, but in the end, differing paces lead them apart.
Mu Yan didn’t want to be left behind…
Meanwhile, He Yunzhao had already boarded a carriage heading to the Liao residence.
The Liao family lived far to the east of the capital, closer to the city gates—in other words, somewhat remote. The location wasn’t ideal, but it offered tranquility.
Lifting the curtain to step down, He Yunzhao straightened the hem of his robe, smoothed his sleeves, and adjusted his collar with a light touch of his thumb and forefinger.
He stepped forward and addressed the gatekeeper, "This junior, He Yunzhao, has come to pay respects to Elder Liao."
Upon hearing the name, the gatekeeper smiled and said, "So it’s Young Master He. Please wait a moment."
A short while later…
The gatekeeper scratched his cheek awkwardly, his head slightly lowered as he spoke with embarrassment, "Young Master He, Elder Liao says he will not see you."
"Not see me?" He Yunzhao’s voice rose in surprise.
How could he refuse? She had sent a notice in advance—why would he turn her away? For a moment, she was utterly bewildered.
Frowning, He Yunzhao cupped her hands and asked, "I apologize for the trouble, but might I ask why Elder Liao refuses to see me?"
The gatekeeper cleared his throat and promptly replied, "Elder Liao said that his support was an act of upholding justice—to protect scholars from being bullied by the powerful and to ensure promising students could study in peace. It wasn’t done to receive gratitude from He Yunzhao."
"Therefore, Elder Liao absolutely refuses to see you."
He Yunzhao was speechless with astonishment. She had never expected such a reason.
From the moment he first saw the poem "Dreamlike Song" through Qi Jun, Liao Yingyuan had wanted to meet He Yunzhao.
When he later heard that He Yunzhao was being threatened by that scoundrel Pei Shangxuan, the righteous Liao Yingyuan immediately stepped in to offer support.
With a great scholar like him present, he inspired many timid scholars to speak up, rallying countless voices in He Yunzhao’s defense.
But Liao Yingyuan had his own principles. He helped He Yunzhao simply because it was the right thing to do—because she deserved it—not to gain her gratitude.
He would not accept her thanks; there was no need. It was his own choice.
For a moment, He Yunzhao was deeply moved by such an advanced sense of self-awareness. A wry smile touched her lips—the gifts she had brought were now wasted.
She couldn’t help but chuckle softly. "Very well. Since Elder Liao will not accept my gratitude, then Yunzhao shall not press further."
"Please relay a message to Elder Liao for me: though he refuses to accept my gratitude, Yunzhao's appreciation remains. Should he ever need anything, I will not hesitate to assist."
The gatekeeper nodded with a peculiar expression, which He Yunzhao paid no mind to.
She had just taken four steps toward her carriage when hurried footsteps sounded behind her. Puzzled, she turned her head.
An elderly man in plain blue robes strode briskly past her, made a detour, and thump! Thump! Thump! He planted himself squarely in front of He Yunzhao!
The old man feigned confusion. "And you are?"
Then his face broke into a beaming smile as he exclaimed with sudden realization, "So it's He Yunzhao!"
He Yunzhao looked utterly bewildered. "And you are…?"
The elder let out a long breath and declared with great composure, "I am Liao Yingyuan."
Liao Yingyuan!
Liao Yingyuan?!
He Yunzhao was stunned speechless. Then the great scholar Liao continued, "What a surprise to run into you right at my doorstep today. Your master and I are close friends—you may call me Uncle-Master."
"Come now, dear niece, follow your master… ah, no… follow your Uncle-Master inside for some tea and rest."
Of course, Liao Yingyuan would not accept He Yunzhao's gratitude—that was the old man's principle!
But he never said they couldn't coincidentally meet at his doorstep, now did he? Hehe!
He Yunzhao's mind went completely blank as she was gently pushed from behind into the Liao residence, all the way to a pavilion.
Inside the pavilion, two grand armchairs had been arranged with a chess table between them. On the other side stood a redwood desk, already spread with fine, well-aged xuan paper.
Liao Yingyuan urged eagerly, "Come, come! Quickly write out that 'Ode to the Lime' for me to see. Those rascally disciples only brought me a handkerchief."
Though the poem recorded in charcoal on the handkerchief was precious, the old gentleman felt too embarrassed to keep it.
One must understand: in the Great Jin dynasty, handkerchiefs were mostly used by women. What men carried for wiping their hands was called a sweat towel.
That handkerchief even had a small flower embroidered on it. The old man didn't recognize it, nor did he want to know how his disciples had obtained a lady's handkerchief to record the poem. So he simply prepared the tools and asked He Yunzhao to rewrite it.
Finally understanding, He Yunzhao chuckled helplessly. So Elder Liao had such a playful side to him.
"Brother He." A deliberately lowered, steady voice came from nearby. He Yunzhao followed the sound.
"Qu Zhan?" she exclaimed in surprise.
Qu Zhan wore a blue-green round-collared robe embroidered with gold. His sharp eyebrows and eyes showed not a flicker of emotion as he gave a slight nod at the most flattering angle, offering a faint smile.
He Yunzhao: "…" Such familiar posturing…
Elder Liao curled his lip. "Pay that lad no mind. Write the poem first."
Resigned, He Yunzhao allowed herself to be led to the desk. The inkstone held freshly ground ink. She selected a medium-sized brush from the brush stand.
Understanding Elder Liao's intent—this poem was bold and majestic, and using a small brush would diminish its spirit—she dipped the snow-white tip of the brush into the ink. Lifting it, she tapped lightly, suspended her wrist, and began to write!
Liao Yingyuan watched the xuan paper without blinking.
He Yunzhao personally preferred regular script in her daily practice, especially characters of nearly uniform size and perfect neatness—completing such writing brought her great joy.
But she was skilled in other scripts as well. Currently overflowing with amusement from Elder Liao's antics, she could barely contain her laughter.
With a firm wrist, she finished the piece in one flowing motion.
Elder Liao leaned in for a closer look and clicked his tongue in admiration. "This handwriting shows true mastery."
Qu Zhan only glanced briefly at the paper before shifting his attention entirely to He Yunzhao.
He was waiting for He Yunzhao to greet him first.
He Yunzhao walked over, a slight curve forming at the corner of her lips as a smile lit up her eyes. "Than—"
Qu Zhan quickly interjected, "After hearing about your situation, I was furious for days. That Duke of Li is simply too much! I heard from my grandfather that you handled yourself impeccably during the imperial audience, leaving the Duke of Li utterly defeated."
He Yunzhao: "Than—thank you for telling Elder Qu."
Qu Zhan: "!"
"Is that all you have to say?" he asked in disbelief.
He Yunzhao couldn't hold back and burst into laughter. "Hahahahaha!"
The two were promptly ushered to the chess table to play a game. As He Yunzhao was currently favored by the Great Scholar Liao, she took the seat opposite him first.
After twelve moves, Great Scholar Liao looked up at her and said, "I’d rather not say anything unpleasant."
He Yunzhao sheepishly rubbed her ear and stood up to give up her seat.
Qu Zhan, standing nearby, was nearly tearing his hair out in frustration. As soon as he took the seat, he swiftly picked up a piece and made his move.
He Yunzhao: "Wow." So that’s how it could be done.
He Yunzhao’s chess skills were average—she understood the basics but struggled when it came to actual play. She could only memorize set patterns and lacked the flexibility to adapt, with only occasional flashes of insight.
Even during the peak of Great Scholar Liao’s fondness for her, she could drive him to the brink of cursing—a testament to her "talent."
Qu Zhan, on the other hand, had been the top scholar in the previous imperial examinations at the county, prefectural, and academy levels. If nothing unexpected happened, he would always be three years ahead of He Yunzhao.
Born into a scholarly family, with his grandfather serving as a Grand Secretary, Qu Zhan had been nurtured with abundant resources since childhood. Moreover, he was genuinely gifted.
In just twenty moves, he had stabilized the disadvantage He Yunzhao had created earlier…
By the fifty-first move, Great Scholar Liao’s smile faded as he straightened his posture.
At the eighty-sixth move, Great Scholar Liao pondered for a moment before making his move.
By the one hundred thirty-second move, Qu Zhan set down his piece and smiled, stretching his neck.
At the one hundred forty-first move, He Yunzhao was stunned!
When she played chess with Mu Yan, they could barely make it past forty moves before the game fell apart. Yet Qu Zhan had managed to turn the tables after she had put him at a twelve-move disadvantage!
As Great Scholar Liao let out a sigh, He Yunzhao couldn’t help but shake Qu Zhan’s shoulders. "You won! You won!"
Her delicate face was alight with astonished joy. She stared intently at the board, replaying the game from start to finish, but still couldn’t pinpoint exactly when Qu Zhan had set his trap.
Qu Zhan lifted his chin high, radiating pride. Even as she shook him, he laughed uncontrollably, swaying with the motion.
He turned his head smugly and caught sight of He Yunzhao’s beaming smile, which seemed to melt her entire being.
This kid is quite good-looking—just a little less handsome than me, he thought.
Hmph, now she knows how impressive I am, Qu Zhan thought, immensely pleased with his display of skill.
Qu Zhan was a prodigious junior, while He Yunzhao was a student greatly admired by Great Scholar Liao. Since they had come to the Liao residence, it was only natural for the Great Scholar to test and discuss with them.
As scholars, they were already qualified to discuss governance. For their future pursuits—passing the provincial and imperial examinations—the focus of their studies would revolve around political discourse.
Great Scholar Liao asked, "What are your thoughts on the current tax system?"
Qu Zhan glanced at He Yunzhao. Being three years older, he decided to give her more time to think.
So he said, "I will answer first."
"The current tax system still has flaws. The former Minister of Revenue once proposed reforms to increase commercial taxes, but the effort ultimately stalled. I believe we should impose stricter regulations on merchants…"
He Yunzhao listened quietly. Qu Zhan’s general ideas aligned with her own, with only minor differences.
After Qu Zhan finished speaking, Liao the Great Scholar nodded in approval. Although he did not agree with some of Qu Zhan's approaches, as a mentor, he believed Qu Zhan deserved praise.
He Yunzhao remained silent for a moment, then looked up and said, "In my opinion, the most urgent issue in the current tax system should be the land tax…"In the Great Jin Dynasty, land taxes were collected by officials in both summer and autumn, but payments were mostly made in kind. This gave minor officials ample room for manipulation, leaving the court's tax revenue uncertain and the common people heavily oppressed…
Scholar Liao nodded. Though the idea was still immature, it had taken shape. He asked, "Then what do you think should be done first if we switch to monetary payments?"
He Yunzhao gave a simple-minded smile and played dumb, "I haven't thought that far yet."
Scholar Liao let her off.
The biggest issue with land taxes lay in the inconsistency between the court's regulations and local practices. The court, being at the forefront of tax collection, lacked a direct understanding of the people's suffering.
Local officials exploited their power in the middle, squeezing several times the required amount from the people within the rules.
If grain were to be replaced by currency, only one problem needed to be solved first—minting new coins. Moreover, these coins had to be durable, difficult to counterfeit, and affordable enough for every common person to use.
After the three of them had dinner together, He Yunzhao and Qu Zhan took their leave.
As they stepped out of the Liao residence, Qu Zhan couldn't resist asking, "Were you bringing up land taxes today to avoid discussing commercial taxes?"
He Yunzhao nodded and admitted frankly, "Yes."
She turned to look at Qu Zhan. In the hazy glow of the sunset, her eyes seemed sprinkled with honey.
"My ideas are more radical than yours. I'm afraid they're not suitable to voice."
Qu Zhan didn't understand and asked in confusion, "It's just discussing politics—what's unsuitable about that? It's not like we're in court."
Ah, this was the confidence of one born with a silver spoon—full of fearless experimentation.
Though she was grateful to Scholar Liao and he admired her, upon closer consideration, the two of them weren't that familiar.
Speaking too deeply when the relationship is shallow is a major taboo.
Moreover… He Yunzhao turned her gaze to Qu Zhan's face. "Have you read The Book of Lord Shang?"
Qu Zhan felt somewhat uncomfortable under her gaze and pursed his lips. "I have."
He Yunzhao raised an eyebrow. "Those bound by ritual are not worth discussing affairs with; those bound by law are not worth discussing change with."
Qu Zhan's expression shifted, and he understood immediately.
The meaning of this phrase was that one should not discuss state affairs with those constrained by ritual, nor discuss reform with those constrained by law.
The Great Jin Dynasty had been established for nearly a century. A commodity economy had already emerged, and what they faced now was a period of reform.
As for Elder Liao—he was righteous, brave, and an excellent elder, but after all, he had lived through turbulent times. He couldn't understand why the younger generation, having achieved stability, would seek to change things.
His expression when Qu Zhan discussed commercial taxes had said it all.
He Yunzhao turned away and didn't look at him anymore. "As for me, I'm used to being cautious. I don't like ruining the atmosphere."
"No…" Qu Zhan said softly.
He Yunzhao didn't catch it and turned back curiously. "What did you say?"
Qu Zhan tilted his head to look at her and sighed. "No, it's not that you're cautious—you're just much smarter than I am."
He Yunzhao waved a hand casually and said breezily, "Oh? So Young Master Qu admits I'm better?"
Qu Zhan immediately retracted his expression and grumbled, "Just this once. I'm much better than you at chess."
"If it weren't for me, you would have made Elder Liao faint from anger."
"Nonsense! I just didn't perform well today!"
"Your mouth is even more stubborn than mine."
"Oh? So Young Master Qu finally admits he's stubborn?" He Yunzhao's eyes held a teasing glint.
It made Qu Zhan grit his teeth. "Don't call me Young Master Qu."
"Fine," He Yunzhao shrugged. Qu Zhan was taken aback, not expecting her to agree so readily.
"Miss Qu."
"…He Yunzhao!" Qu Zhan was so enraged she felt utterly tongue-tied, never before had she felt so inarticulate.
"Third Miss He!"
He Yunzhao curled her lip, completely unfazed, "You're just copying me, you copycat."
"Ahhhhhhh!" Qu Zhan clutched her head and screamed, absolutely furious!
Blinded by anger, she lunged at He Yunzhao.
He Yunzhao immediately took off running.
The two chased each other playfully, with a few servants hurrying after them.
By the time they reached the street corner, He Yunzhao had turned the tables, sending Young Master Qu into a panicked retreat.
"Xiao Zhao…"
He Yunzhao's cheeks were flushed from the excitement. She turned her head, "Xiao Yan?"
To her left was Qu Zhan, her hair nearly coming undone from the commotion, and to her right stood Mu Yan, holding her books.
She glanced from side to side, "Listen, it's not what it looks like."
Oh no, that sounded even worse!