Saving My Bias from Mishaps (4)
Even after saying all there was to be said and leaving Agatha behind in her room, I still felt frustrated for some reason.
It crossed my mind that perhaps this wasn’t what Hades had in mind when he told me he wanted me to act a bit bolder, and he might scold me for acting out of line without considering the repercussions, but it wasn’t him I was worried about.
After all, he and I were going to be married soon.
Of course, if we were to sign divorce papers, we would each go our separate ways again….
But unless that happened, our relationship would be defined by the law as the most intimate relationship of all.
So, it was clear to me whose side Hades should take.
If he chose his sister over his wife, then I would gladly call off our wedding because I would simply refuse to marry a man lacking a sense of priority.
Anyway, the reason I was so frustrated, even though I said everything I wanted to say without holding back, was because of Abel.
“I want to go on a walk with you.
I like spending time with you.”
“I’m not tired at all, so you don’t need to worry about me.”
Even after getting his feet beaten up until they burst and bled by that damnable hag, he happily accepted my offer to take him out for a walk and clung on to me.
“Ah….
It’s been a while since I’ve felt like swearing.
Jeez….”
Suddenly, tears filled my eyes, and I stood crying in the empty hallway for a long time.
Despite my best efforts to wipe them away, the tears kept falling from my eyes like a broken faucet.
I felt sorry for Abel and a little angry at myself and my ignorance.
How could I call myself an Abel stan when I couldn’t even tell if he was suffering or not?
“I’m so sorry….” Once I mumbled out an apology that Abel couldn’t even hear, I grew even more emotional.
The rims of my eyes were red and sore from rubbing.
It was then.
Anne, who stepped out of her room to go who knows where, saw me crying and rushed over to me.
“Oh!
Milady!”
“Anne….”
“W-what on earth happened here?
Did the countess say something rude again?”
I had explained to Anne what happened during dinner yesterday after she told me Abel had been beaten.
As always, Anne reacted more extremely than I did to the insults thrown at me.
Even now, “Th-that… crazy old bitch!
Milady is a beloved daughter from our barony too, damn it…!”
“It’s fine, Anne.
I said everything I needed to say.”
“But she must have said something hurtful to make you cry like this!
I’ll grab that hag by the hair and teach her a lesson.
His Grace can punish me all he wants afterward!
Just you wait!”
Anne rolled up her sleeves, enraged.
She seemed ready to storm into Agatha’s room at any moment, but I hurriedly stopped her before she could take off.
“No, really.
If anything, I tongue-lashed her into silence.
I’m not crying because of the countess.”
“Then what is it?”
“….”
I couldn’t bring myself to tell Anne that I was crying because of my stupid insensitivity as a stan in asking my bias for a private fan meeting without even checking on his health.
But Anne had been by my side for the past three years since I awakened in this world.
So she knew what I was thinking without me saying a word.
With a sigh, Anne pulled me into her arms.
“I told you not to worry about it.
It isn’t your fault, milady. Visit g.com for the full chapter.
Please don’t cry.
Hmm?
Shh….”
“Anne, I don’t deserve to stan Abel.
When Abel realizes that he has a fan like me, he might feel really ashamed.”
“Oh, Milady….”
Anne patted me on my back with a soft smile.
Her warmth helped me calm down a little.
Anne was only around 20 years old, the same age as ‘Aisha Heathcliff’.
But at times, she seemed so much more grown up than me, and I couldn’t help but lean on her like I was doing now.
Looking back now, it was Anne who stayed with me when I first woke up confused in this world.
She listened to me patiently when I tried to explain the concept of stanning to her.
She could have easily accused me of insanity after coming back from the dead, but she didn’t, and stuck with me through thick and thin, even in moments like these when I was feeling down and low.
“Milady.”
“Yeah….”
“How can you say such a silly thing when you’ve experienced him in person?
I’ve never seen a child as innocent and pure as him.
I’m telling you, I understood immediately why you were so enthralled by him.”
“Right?
Abel is the best….”
“You should know how much the Childe likes you.
If he knew what you’re thinking, I’m sure he’d be overwhelmed with happiness.”
“Really…?”
“You bet!
And since we’re on the topic of the Childe Louvremont, we should get that embroidery finished until dawn, so you can give it to him as a gift.”
“Yeah… you’re right.
But where were you going at this late hour?” I asked, wiping my tears.
Anne just responded by lifting the small basket in her hand.
“I was just thinking of taking this to the Childe.”
I recognized it immediately.
The basket probably contained ointment and other medications used to treat swollen wounds.
“Most of the servants here treat him as though he’s a ghost and won’t go anywhere near him, you see.
They all must know by now that the young master got beat up, and yet, none of them seem willing to look after him….”
“Ah.” I teared up again.
Being treated like a ghost, as if he’s invisible….
I could hardly fathom how lonely Abel must have been when he was young.
He was able to endure being called a filthy bastard, Duke Louvremont’s only mistake and what else, all because he had a father who genuinely loved him.
Hades tried his best to be a good father to Abel, but his position as a duke often forced him to be away from his son against his will.
This meant that even when his father was alive, Abel had to endure loneliness and hardships all on his own.
And the fact that Abel wasn’t a typical child who whined about his problems to his busy father made things worse.
He’d matured too early.
It was unfortunate, because the Hades I knew would have loved and cherished Abel even if he acted a little spoiled.
The more I thought about it, the more I felt sorry for Abel’s precious childhood, which was just reduced to a couple of sentences in the original novel.
“Haa….”
“Oh, no… are you crying again?
Is it because you feel sorry for Childe Louvremont?”
Anne caressed my back as she handed me the small basket.
“Rather than crying out here, why don’t you visit him instead and keep him company?
Go and give him a big hug.”
“Y-you want me to visit Abel?”
“Yes.”
I hesitated, but not for long.
Although I felt guilty about seeing Abel, I was more worried that he wouldn’t be able to sleep because of pain.
* * *
The hallway in front of Abel’s room was desolate.
To me, it seemed to resemble the emptiness and loneliness in Abel’s heart, and I had to stifle my tears again. Visit g.com for the full chapter.
“Umm… Childe Louvremont?” I called quietly but received no answer.
When I opened the door, I saw the tiny Abel asleep on his bed on the opposite side of the room.
He was probably tired.
After all, the day must have been exhausting for him.
I wondered for a moment if I should leave but eventually headed over to Abel.
I was worried about his wound, and I knew it would have been left unattended.
Abel must have been very tired; he didn’t even flinch even when I sat down on the bed next to him and continued to sleep throughout.
Only the sound of breathing could occasionally be heard.
“Childe.”
Because there was still no answer, I carefully lifted the edge of the blanket covering Abel’s tiny body.
The moonlight shone upon the boy’s tiny feet.
“Ah….” Tears welled up in my eyes all over again.
His feet, which were only as big as my palms, were in a mess as I heard.
A dozen horizontal streaks marked where the thin stick had whipped him repeatedly.
His feet were swollen and bruised, and his wounds were still bleeding.
Tiny blood stains blossomed like red flowers across the white sheets.
I figured our walk together must have opened them up even further.
“This is seriously driving me insane….”
Because I didn’t want to stain Abel’s bed, I forced my eyes open and held back my tears, fanning my face with my hand.
“Abel….”
As much as I didn’t want to wake him, I couldn’t just sit by without doing anything.
I decided I couldn’t help it if he woke up.
I opened the basket that Anne had meticulously prepared and began to examine Abel’s wound in detail.
While I cautiously dabbed the wound clean with a washcloth and applied ointment over it, Abel flinched in pain a few times but fortunately didn’t wake up.
Despite my best efforts to hold back my tears, they began to flow again as I spread ointment on the horrendous wounds.
“Hmb….”
I bit my lips to stop the sobs from almost escaping my mouth.
My vision kept blurring, so I raised an arm to wipe my eyes, but tears continued to well up faster than I could wipe them.
“I’m so, so, so sorry….”
What was this tiny child thinking when he followed my steps with bruised feet?
“I didn’t know anything, and… hurt you….”
He followed me like a loyal puppy who never leaves his master’s side, but I was too stupid to even notice that he was limping.
“You were lonely, weren’t you?
That’s why….”
I was wondering why he’d opened up to me so quickly.
It must have been because he was lonely—so lonely, that he felt the urge to cling to me, even though I hardly showed him the full extent of my love because I always froze when I met him.
What was so good about going on a stroll?
He really shouldn’t have forced himself to walk with me when his feet were in pain.
Why is this child so…
“Thank you… thank you for liking me, Abel…, when I’m not even a nice person….”
…Reckless?
“Is it really okay for me to become a mother to a child as sweet and kind as you…?
I’m such a fool, I didn’t even know you were in pain….”
Even as I was busy wiping my eyes and spitting out an apology that was more like a confession, I wrapped Abel’s feet in bandages with utmost care.
The boy’s tiny feet trembled briefly in pain.
My heart ached so much at the sight that I had to stop and cry in silence for a long time.