Logan suddenly pointed a finger straight at the Goblin Lord before striking an absurdly dramatic pose.
"What’s your favorite color?"
...
The Goblin Lord’s battle-axe remained frozen in midair. Even the snarling goblins behind him halted, their bloodlust replaced with utter confusion.
"What...?"
"Wait!" Logan raised a hand before the Goblin Lord could answer. "Let me guess."
He slowly circled Xludur with exaggerated seriousness, squinting as though inspecting an ancient artifact.
"Hmmm..."
He stroked his chin.
"You look like a... blue kind of guy."
"..."
"Maybe... purple?"
"..."
"Oh! Oh! Turquoise!"
The Goblin Lord stared at him.
"IT’S GREEN. LOOK AT MY SKIN!"
Logan gasped dramatically.
"Aha! I knew it; you’re a simple goblin!"
"I-I just wanted to see if you knew."
. . .
Silence swallowed the battlefield.
Captain Iron slowly lowered his shield, never taking his eyes off Logan. The commander who had guided them through impossible odds now stood in the middle of the battlefield, proudly celebrating the fact that the Goblin Lord knew the color of his own skin.
Iron was at a loss for words.
Did the pressure finally get to him?
Giles glanced at Logan’s awkward pose, one hand covering half his face while the other remained pointed dramatically at the Goblin Lord.
"Captain... has Commander always been like this?"
Iron remained silent for a long moment before answering.
"...No."
"Should we... stop him?" Kiran chimed in, asking quietly.
Iron stared at Logan’s confident grin before letting out a defeated sigh.
"...I don’t know anymore."
The words hung heavily in the air, as all eyes were fixated on Logan.
Okay... That should’ve done it, right?
Logan maintained the ridiculous grin plastered across his face, but inside, every fiber of his being was screaming to get out of there.
Come on...
[Condition not met.]
What the fu–
– Above the Battlements –
The whistle of arrows tore through the air.
Robin ducked beneath the goblin arrow as another volley flew through the sky.
"Maeve!"
"I know!"
Without needing another word, Maeve stepped into the opening Robin created, releasing two arrows in rapid succession. One pierced a goblin’s throat while another struck a goblin archer.
The instant Maeve finished shooting, Robin rose from cover and returned fire, picking off another pair of goblins attempting to reposition.
Then they switched again, constantly repositioning across the battered battlements, forcing the goblins to divide their attention as if there were far more defenders than there really were.
"We need to stop them from entering the fortress!"
"On it!" Maeve pulled a clay flask from a nearby fallen soldier’s satchel before striking the fuse against the stone battlement.
"Cover me!"
Robin immediately stood, loosing arrows in rapid succession. Two goblins collapsed before a rain of crude arrows forced her back behind cover.
Maeve hurled the firebomb toward the breached gate.
BOOM!
The explosion erupted beneath the gatehouse. Burning oil splashed across the entrance, swallowing the goblins beneath a wall of fire.
Panicked goblins stumbled backward while those behind them crashed into the chaos, unable to force their way through the burning debris.
Maeve let out a slow breath.
"That should buy us some time."
Scattered across the battlements lay broken longbows, snapped arrows, and the bodies of Evergarden’s archers. Some still clutched their bows even in death, while others remained slumped against the stone walls where they had fallen defending the fortress.
Robin reached for another arrow; her fingers grasped empty air.
She glanced at her quiver.
"I’m out..."
Maeve instinctively checked her own.
"Seven..."
Taking a deep breath, Maeve let out a small chuckle.
"If you didn’t miss half of your shots, maybe we’ll still have some arrows to spare."
Robin rolled her eye but said nothing.
Instead, she crouched beside one of the fallen archers, searching through the quiver strapped to his waist. She pulled out a dozen warped arrows, inspecting each shaft before slipping the usable ones into her own empty quiver.
"Something’s wrong..." Robin pointed out, noticing how quiet things suddenly became.
Clank.
A flimsy metal hook caught the edge of the battlements.
"Grappling hooks!" Robin’s eye widened.
Another hook flew; within seconds, dozens of ropes hung from the fortress walls.
Maeve immediately shifted targets; instead of firing into the distant enemies, she aimed downward.
Her arrow struck the first goblin through the eye. The creature tumbled backward, crashing into those climbing beneath it.
"Maeve, you go left, and I’ll go right. We need to cut them down before they get up here!"
They nodded before splitting off. Robin sliced one of the ropes, snapping the thick hemp. Three goblins screamed as they plummeted back to the ground.
Another hook caught the wall, then another. Soon the entire battlements were riddled with ropes.
Maeve hacked through another line, sending two goblins tumbling into the fire below.
"They just keep coming!"
Dozens of clawed hands reached over the edge of the battlements as the narrow stone walkway quickly drowned in chaos.
Maeve stole a quick glance toward Robin as they stood back-to-back amidst the growing horde.
"Still keeping count?"
Robin let loose another arrow, quickly taking out another goblin.
"Eighty-three."
– Courtyard –
I am Xludur, the Great Darkwoods Goblin Lord.
For decades, I have fought countless battles.
I have crushed villages beneath my feet, slain warriors beyond counting, and risen from a nameless goblin into the ruler of the Darkwoods. I believed there was nothing left in this world capable of surprising me.
Yet... Here I am.
"ARE YOU FUCKING DANCING IN FRONT OF ME, HUMAN?!"
Captain Iron slowly lowered his shield.
The commander he had followed.
The man who always seemed to have another plan.
The man who gave him hope in this cruel world.
...was now dancing in front of the Goblin Lord.
"...Commander?"
Logan didn’t reply; he simply continued the dance move. His movement was slow and awkward, almost like somebody was controlling his body.
Giles stared blankly.
"Captain...has the Commander finally lost his mind?"
Even Kiran, who rarely showed emotion, quietly looked away.
"This is painful to watch."
On the opposite side of the courtyard, the goblins whispered among themselves.
"Chik... Chik... Chief."
"Should we...wait until he’s finished?"
Xludur’s expression darkened.
. . .
"I’ve had enough of your games."
The Goblin Lord raised his battle-axe high into the air before bringing it crashing down toward Logan.
[Condition Fulfilled.]
[Title: Crazy Commander]