Just a Club
The cultural festival…
Being at one again brought back bittersweet memories.
The moment I crossed through the school gates I stopped dead for a few seconds.
The school had stopped looking like a school.
Colorful paper garlands hung between the buildings. Hand-painted signs announced themed cafés, haunted houses, contests, exhibitions, and countless other activities. The courtyard was full of improvised stalls where the smell of yakisoba, takoyaki, and freshly made crepes competed to win over anyone who walked past.
Students were rushing around in ridiculous costumes.
A maid was chasing a samurai.
An inflatable dinosaur was arguing with a priest.
And someone dressed as a banana was handing out flyers with an admirable level of seriousness.
…
Japan was weird.
Very weird.
I couldn't help smiling.
"But that's what makes it fun…"
My experience with festivals in my past life hadn't been as enjoyable as I would have liked.
I never had anyone close enough to enjoy them with, and my contributions were always boring tasks nobody else wanted to do.
…
How depressing.
I shook my head.
No.
I was not going to get melancholy today of all days.
It was the festival.
And besides…
For better or worse, things were different now.
The image of the club members came to mind, pulling a smile out of me.
For better or worse, Ren is no longer here… now I'm Aika, and I have a debut waiting for me in the play.
"Whatever happens, I'm going to enjoy this festival."
I said that with great determination but just thinking it made my stomach tie itself into a knot again.
Maybe I'm not cut out for this…
…
…
…
I walked into the drama club building before my own brain could start sabotaging me again.
The moment I opened the auditorium door…
"Shimizu-senpai!"
Rika practically launched herself at me.
"You're finally here!"
"Huh?"
"I thought you'd gotten lost!"
"It's only eight o'clock…"
"Exactly! The show is only a few hours away!"
…
Yeah.
She was panicking.
Harada was holding a folder full of papers while pacing back and forth trying to look calm.
"Everything will be fine… probably…"
Five seconds later he checked the list for the fourth time.
"Where's the third act props?"
"President! You moved them yourself ten minutes ago!"
"Right!"
"And the curtain?"
"Already checked it!"
"The music?"
"That too!"
"The lights?"
"…wait."
And he ran off.
I watched him disappear.
…
I had never seen anyone try so hard to stay calm and fail so spectacularly.
In one corner, Yuuna was sitting with the script in her hands.
She didn't look nervous.
Just…
Focused.
So still she looked like she was meditating.
Meanwhile a boy with glasses was checking some cables behind the stage and muttering to himself.
"If someone unplugs the lighting console to charge their phone one more time, I swear I'm quitting this club…"
He barely finished the sentence when a sharp crack echoed from behind the stage.
SNAP!
"AAAGH!"
Everyone turned their heads.
A boy with messy black hair was standing with his arm fully extended toward an outlet, while a small column of smoke rose from the power strip.
"…What just happened?" I murmured.
The boy slowly raised his thumb with a completely blank expression.
"Everything… under control…"
A small puff of smoke came out of his mouth.
And then he dropped to his knees.
I blinked a couple of times.
"A-are you okay…?"
What was his name again…?
Kouta…?
Araya… Arita?
Something like that?
Before I could remember, Rika appeared out of nowhere and the boy nearly jumped out of his skin when he saw her.
"Arima-kun, what was that?"
Oh right, that's it! Kenta Arima. I'd completely forgotten about him.
"Cough… Nothing, just running some tests."
Tests? You're literally smoking… I thought, making a face.
"Ah, good thing, you wouldn't be dumb enough to electrocute yourself," Rika said, bursting out laughing.
"Of course not!" Arima answered, forcing a laugh with tears practically in his eyes.
Ah… no wonder I forgot this idiot's name…
…
Just then Harada went back to checking his list.
"Alright… actors…"
Me.
Yuuna.
Rika.
…
…
The list of names continued until suddenly his expression changed.
"Hirano-san?"
Silence.
Rika looked around.
"Wasn't she just here?"
Yuuna slowly raised her eyes from the script.
"Now that you mention it…"
Harada started scanning the auditorium.
"Where is Hirano-san?"
Everyone started looking around.
She wasn't there.
"Maybe she went to the bathroom?" I suggested.
Rika shook her head quickly.
"I haven't seen her in a while."
Harada pulled out his phone.
"I'll call her."
We waited.
It rang.
Once.
Twice.
Three times.
Nobody answered.
Harada frowned.
He tried again.
Nothing.
A third call.
Nothing.
The atmosphere shifted completely.
Anxiety replaced the chaos.
"Did something happen to her?" Rika murmured.
"She's never late…" Arima added, finally putting down the screwdriver.
Yuuna was already on her feet.
"I'll check the main building."
"I'll cover the courtyard and the stalls," said Harada.
"I'll check the gym."
"I'll look through the classrooms."
All eyes eventually landed on me.
I nodded.
"I'll search the back of the school."
Harada took a deep breath.
" We have less than two hours before we open the auditorium."
Please…
Find her.
…
…
…
I searched for a good while without any luck.
Time kept ticking down, which was making me more and more nervous.
But just as I was about to give up, it occurred to me to check behind the old music building.
And there she was.
It was a quiet corner of the campus, almost hidden among some cherry trees that were completely green by now. The noise of the festival barely reached back there. Only some distant voices and the wind moving through the leaves could be heard.
She had her back to me.
When she heard my footsteps she quickly raised her hand to wipe her face.
Too late.
I had already seen the glimmer of tears.
"…Hirano-san."
She smiled.
Or at least she tried to.
"A-Ah… Shimizu-san."
What a terrible smile.
It wasn't her usual warm smile.
It was one of those smiles people put on to convince everyone they're okay… when they're actually falling apart inside.
I walked over slowly.
"Everyone's looking for you."
"I'm sorry…"
She lowered her head.
"I just… needed a moment."
I stayed quiet.
I didn't know what to say.
In my past life I was never good at comforting people.
Well, it's not like I had much practice.
It's not like you can comfort friends you don't have.
Hahaha, I laughed internally so I wouldn't start crying too.
Damn…
Right now I really wished I'd had some.
How was I supposed to comfort a crying girl?
In the end I just said the first thing that came out.
"What happened?"
Mei took a few seconds to answer.
"My parents…"
Her voice trembled.
"I asked them to come today."
A small knot formed in my chest.
"And…?"
She smiled again.
Another one of those fake smiles.
"My father said he had an important meeting today."
She paused for a moment.
"My mother said a school play wasn't a reason to cancel a business lunch."
…
"They told me to record the performance if I wanted to show it to them later."
She looked down at the ground.
"It's always been like this… although… I suppose they're right."
"…"
"After all… this is just a club."
Her fingers gripped the edge of her skirt tightly.
She didn't need to say anything more.
I breathed slowly.
…
"Your parents… they don't support the acting?"
"They let me do it because people told them I have talent… as long as it stays a hobby…"
…
Both in my past life and in this one, I never had parents who loaded me with expectations, so I can't fully understand how Mei feels.
But I find it interesting. On one hand, it's oddly reassuring to know she isn't as perfect as she seems, and on the other it's a little painful to think about why she works so hard to be.
I scratched my cheek.
"Well…"
This was so hard…
…
"Maybe I'm not the right person to say this…"
Mei looked up slightly.
"…but I think you're wrong."
She blinked.
"Huh?"
She kept listening.
"You said 'it's just a club.'"
I smiled a little.
"But we've been preparing for this for weeks."
I thought back to the afternoons painting sets.
The rehearsals.
The arguments.
The laughter.
The nerves.
"You've worked so hard for this… we all have."
"Harada nearly lost his mind."
"Rika has become unhinged from the stress."
"Yuuna is terrifyingly focused."
Mei let out a small laugh through her tears.
Good.
At least that worked.
"What I mean is, it doesn't matter if others think it's just a club — even if those others are your parents. You're the only one who gets to decide that."
"Besides…"
I looked at her directly.
"You could end up as an overworked office drone whose idiot boss asks them to redo the entire render by tomorrow morning just because the clients are just as idiotic as him, and after killing yourself working you die in the most miserable way possible without ever having done what you truly loved!"
"What? A render? Why do you suddenly look angry?"
"Ah…"
DAMN IT I JUST TOLD MY WHOLE LIFE STORY WITHOUT REALIZING!
"I-it was j-just an example that came to me—" I said with a nervous laugh. "Just an example okay?"
"O-okay…" Mei said, visibly confused, but at least she didn't look sad anymore.
"Listen, even if only one person were watching us."
I continued.
"Even if the auditorium were empty."
"Even if your parents never saw the play."
I shrugged slightly.
"All the effort you put in would still exist."
"Nobody can take that away from you."
"Nobody gets to tell you that what you love doesn't matter!"
Silence settled between us again.
The wind moved softly through the leaves above our heads.
I… got a little carried away.
Remembering my past life made me emotional…
…
…
…
Mei looked down.
"…Shimizu-san."
Her voice was very quiet.
"You're a little weird."
"Was that a compliment?"
"I think so."
We both laughed.
A small laugh.
But a genuine one.
I felt the tension slowly dissolving.
And then it happened.
Without warning.
Mei took a small step toward me.
And hugged me.
My brain stopped working.
Huh?
Huh?
Huh?
Her forehead rested lightly on my shoulder.
I could feel her breathing…
"…Thank you."
She murmured.
"Really."
It took me a few seconds to react.
Then I slowly raised one hand…
…and gave her a few awkward pats on the back.
Because it was the only thing I could think of.
"I-it was nothing…"
"It was something."
She answered without pulling away yet.
A moment later she took a step back.
Her eyes were a little red.
But now she was really smiling.
Not that fake smile from a few minutes ago.
The real one.
The one that made it seem like she lit up whatever room she was in.
"Let's go."
She said, taking a deep breath.
"We can't keep the audience waiting."
I nodded.
"Right."
…
…
…
When we got back to the auditorium…
"HIRANO-SENPAI!!"
Rika was the first to spot her.
She ran over practically in tears.
"I thought someone had kidnapped you!"
"Why would that be your first conclusion?"
"Because you disappeared!"
Harada let out a huge sigh of relief.
"Thank goodness…"
"I thought we'd have to improvise the entire first act or find an emergency replacement."
"I'm sorry."
She bowed slightly.
"I worried everyone."
Yuuna simply crossed her arms.
"One minute."
She said, looking at her watch.
"If you'd been one more minute Fujii-san was going to call the police."
"Hey I never said that!" Rika shot back.
"But you were definitely thinking it."
She didn't sound worried.
But coming from Yuuna…
That was probably her version of "I'm glad you're okay."
The rest of the club started moving again.
Everyone found their rhythm immediately — someone checked the costumes while another arranged the props.
Harada gave rushed instructions.
Rika darted back and forth.
After a while we were all ready. The only thing left was for Mei to finish getting her makeup done. The girl helping her was genuinely skilled.
As for me…
"Shimizu-san, what are you doing?" Yuuna asked me.
"Huh? W-well, just stretching a little…"
"It would be a problem if you tore the costume now. Be careful."
"R-Right…"
The costume I was wearing was a bit uncomfortable, even after they'd made some adjustments following the dress rehearsal.
Part of it was that I wasn't exactly the right build for a male character.
I'd had to wear bandages under my clothes to try and hide my chest, and even then the costume was still quite snug.
…
I kept drifting through my thoughts while the others finished up.
…
And then…
We heard the murmur from the other side of the curtain.
Getting louder.
The audience.
They were already coming in.
The seats were starting to fill.
Harada took a deep breath.
He clapped once to get everyone's attention.
"Alright everyone!"
He looked at us one by one.
The nerves were written all over his face.
But he smiled anyway.
"It's time to show the audience what all these weeks were for. Let's give them a performance they'll never forget!"
"Letters of Spring starts now!"
"YEAH!" we all answered.