As I walked away from big brother, I had to admit, he had been right.
I did have something cooking up.
I was a master chef after all.
For I’m a girl of many talents.
All around me, students streamed into the hallways.
Some hurried toward club activities.
Others headed home.
The sense of desperation to get somewhere suffocated the air.
I walked with a purpose.
I always do.
“Target acquired.”
I spotted him immediately.
Tadashi Nakamura.
Basketball tucked beneath one arm.
Laughing with a couple teammates.
Perfect.
I marched straight over.
“Tadashi.”
He looked over.
“Oh. Hey Kiyomi.”
I pointed at him.
“You.”
He pointed at himself.
“Me?”
“Congratulations. You’ve been selected.”
“For what?”
“My organization requires additional personnel.”
“What organization?”
I looked offended.
Because I was.
How could I not be?
I mean, how does he not know of my illustrious organization?
“I literally just founded it,” I said with a confident expression.
“Oh.”
“Then congratulations are in order once more. You’re hired.”
“I wasn’t looking for a job.”
“You are now.”
Tadashi sighed.
“I have basketball practice.”
“I’ll keep this brief.”
“You said that last time.”
“I was lying.”
“I know.”
Without waiting for permission, I grabbed his wrist.
“C’mon.”
“Wha…”
“Stop resisting.”
“I’m not resisting!”
“Excellent. Keep it that way.”
Five minutes later…
The two of us sat beneath a tree overlooking the courtyard after I dragged him there.
Actually, dragged sounds like such a harsh term.
I tactfully persuaded him there.
Yeah, that sounds a lot better.
I dropped a thick notebook onto the bench between us.
Then another.
Then another.
Tadashi stared at them.
“…Are these school notes?”
“No.” I shook my head.
I gave him a smug look.
“Evidence.”
“For some reason, that sounds worse to me,” Tadashi said with a sigh.
“Don’t be such a baby.”
I flipped open the first notebook.
“Hikari.”
Pages of dates.
Schedules.
Committee assignments.
I flipped again.
“Akane.”
More notes.
Highlighted passages.
Cross-referenced times.
Another page.
“Suspicious Blonde.”
Another.
“Suspicious Purple.”
Tadashi slowly blinked.
“You…”
He shook his head in disbelief.
“…actually made files.”
“I made dossiers.”
“That’s even creepier.”
I pointed dramatically toward the Student Council building.
You always gotta have flair.
“The blonde is manipulating everyone around my idiot brother.”
Tadashi nodded slowly.
“…Sure.”
“The purple one makes it happen.”
“…Naturally.”
“They’re executing a long term social isolation campaign.”
“…Absolutely.”
“They’re probably using flowcharts.”
“…Without question.”
I narrowed my eyes.
“You’re making fun of me.”
“A little,” Tadashi responded with a smirk.
I leaned closer.
“I’m serious!”
“So am I.”
“No, you’re not.”
“You got me. No, I’m not.” He raised his arms mockingly.
I folded my arms.
“I require an assistant.”
“No.”
“I haven’t even explained the job.”
“I don’t need you to. The answer is no.”
I frowned.
“Why not?”
“Because every sentence you’ve said today sounds like the opening to a police report.”
I sighed dramatically.
“What if I paid you?”
“With what?”
“I have 2,760 yen.” (Author’s note, at the time of writing this is roughly 17 USD.)
“No.” He shook his head emphatically.
“A family size bag of barbecue chips?”
“Tempting… But no.”
“A signed picture of me?”
“Worthless.”
“It’ll appreciate in value.”
“It won’t.”
I tapped my chin.
“Hmmm… what motivates a Tadashi…”
I slowly began pacing in front of the bench. Read this novel at g.com for the best experience.
“Money?”
“Not really,” He replied in an uncharacteristically serious tone.
“Food?”
“Depends on the food. But I know you can’t cook worth a damn.”
“Power?”
“…Little bit.” He laughed.
“Girls?”
“…”
I stopped.
A grin spread across my face.
“Aha.”
Tadashi immediately frowned.
“Don’t…”
“Oh, this is gonna work.” My grin grew wider.
“It isn’t.”
I sat next to him since he was still sitting on the bench.
“If you help me…”
I held up one finger.
“I’ll consider…”
A dramatic pause.
“…possibly…”
Another pause.
“…thinking about…”
Yet another pause.
“…allowing you…”
“Here it comes,” Tadashi groaned.
“…to ask me…”
I leaned in.
“…to maybe…”
Leaned in closer.
“…possibly…”
Leaned in even closelier.
“…invite me…”
At this point mere atoms separated us.
“…on a date.”
Silence.
Tadashi stared at me for what felt like the entire lifespan of a tortoise.
Then he finally spoke.
“That is the most manipulative sentence anyone has ever spoken.”
“Thank you,” I replied with a cheerful smile.
“That wasn’t a compliment.”
“I know that. But I decided to take it as one.”
He folded his arms.
“You’re not actually agreeing to anything.”
“I know.”
“So if I help you…”
He paused.
Then continued.
“You might…”
I wiggled my hand.
“…consider…”
I tilted my head cutely.
“…thinking…”
I went in for maximum cuteness as he spoke.
Not that that’s difficult for me.
“…about maybe saying yes?”
I smiled proudly.
“I’m an excellent negotiator,” I said with my arms in the Superman pose.
“You’re a terrible negotiator.”
“I’m negotiating…”
“Badly,” He interrupted.
I shook my head.
“I co-wrote The Art of the Deal.”
“That’s not helping your case.”
I sighed.
“Ugh… fine.”
I became unexpectedly serious.
Wait a minute, I’ve been serious this whole time!
This is straight libel by the author.
Hate that handsome genius.
Oh who am I kidding?
I can’t stay mad at that sexy beast.
“The real reason…”
That got Tadashi’s attention.
I looked toward the gym.
“…Is Hikari’s miserable.”
“…”
“Akane’s pretending she’s fine. Even though she’s clearly not.”
“…”
“My idiot brother has absolutely no idea what’s happening. He’s walking haplessly into a trap.”
I looked back at Tadashi.
“And if I’m right…”
I paused dramatically once more.
Gotta up the theatrics.
“…it’s only going to get worse.”
For the first time… the joking disappeared.
Stop saying that.
I’ve been super serious all along!
“I can’t stop it by myself. I need your help Tadashi…”
Tadashi scratched the back of his head.
“You really believe all this?”
“Yes,” I answered immediately.
“Even the flowcharts?”
“Especially the flowcharts.”
He laughed.
Actually laughed.
“You’re unbelievable, Kiyomi.”
“So I’ve been told.”
Another silence.
Finally… Tadashi sighed.
“Ugh… Okay.”
I blinked.
I almost couldn’t believe what I was hearing.
Wait, what am I saying?
This was all part of the plan.
“…Okay? Really?”
“I still think your conspiracy theory is completely insane.”
“It isn’t.”
“So you claim.”
He stood.
“But…”
He looked me straight in the eyes with a very serious look on his face.
“…If there’s even a chance Hikari and Akane are getting dragged into something…”
He shrugged.
“…I’d feel like a jerk if I ignored it. Especially if something bad might also happen to Kaito.”
I smiled.
A genuine one.
Okay seriously, author.
Cut it out.
You’re making me look bad.
Like I’m a giant fake or something.
I’m an honest, innocent girl who’s just trying to help out her idiot brother and his friends from getting hurt.
I’m a good girl.
Always have been.
“Welcome aboard, Useful Idiot.”
“Somehow I knew you were gonna call me that.”
“I had a badge ready.”
“You made badges?”
I reached into my bag.
“Maybe…”
“…”
I handed him the badge.
He looked at it and sighed.
“I’m already regretting this.”
I smiled at him.
Then I started to walk away.
I stopped.
Then I turned around, walked back over, and gave him a quick peck on the cheek.
Why did I do that?
I’m sure there was a tactical reason.
Probably.
His hand immediately flew to his cheek.
He looked completely floored.
I looked him in the eyes.
My face suddenly felt…
warm.
Was I blushing?
Impossible.
“Thanks.”
Then I turned around and speed-walked away before my brain could file the appropriate paperwork.
Later that evening, the Sakamori household had finally gone quiet.
I sat cross-legged on my bedroom floor.
My evidence board stood before me in all of its glory.
For several long moments… I simply stared at it.
It was marvelous.
A true feat of human engineering.
“Blonde…”
I tapped Yurika’s photograph.
“…is a control freak.”
Tap.
“Purple…”
I tapped Rin’s.
“…is the instrument.”
Tap.
Tap.
Tap.
“They win… because everything goes according to plan.”
I sat there silently for a bit.
Then a grin slowly spread across my face.
“Well… that’s adorable.”
I stood.
Picked up a red marker.
Then drew one enormous X across the center of the board.
“No. I’ve been thinking about this all wrong.”
I erased the words: Stop Yurika.
Then wrote something new.
MAKE THEM IMPROVISE.
I admired it for a second.
“Much better.”
I pointed dramatically at Yurika’s photograph.
“The blonde makes plans.”
I pointed dramatically at Rin’s photograph.
“The purple makes schedules. And implements said plans.”
I nodded triumphantly.
“Blonde equals strategy. Purple equals logistics. Fair enough.”
I pointed at myself.
“I make…”
Dramatic pause.
“…problems.”
I nodded.
“Perfect.”
I grabbed another notebook.
Across the first page I wrote: Operation Cheshire Cat
Below it…
Objective: Destroy predictability.
I began writing.
Step One
Interfere.
Not enough to be noticed.
Just enough to be annoying.
Step Two
Observe.
Who fixes the problem?
Who receives new instructions?
Who adapts first?
Step Three
Repeat.
Again.
Again.
Again.
Until somebody… makes a mistake.
I looked at the page.
I was proud of my handiwork.
“Nobody plans for chaos…”
I smiled.
“…Especially organized people.”
A knock came at my door.
“Kiyomi?”
Kaito’s voice came through the door.
“Dinner.”
“Coming!” I shot back.
I quickly closed the notebook.
Then paused.
“…Actually.”
I opened it one last time.
At the bottom of the page… I added one final line.
Rule #1
Never fight the Queen.
Drive the Bishop insane first.
I stared at it.
“I still don’t know if Rin’s the bishop. Rook? Knight?”
I shrugged.
“Eh… Close enough.”
I snapped the notebook shut.
As I walked toward the door… my eyes drifted back to the evidence board one final time.
Yurika.
Rin.
Hikari.
Akane.
Miya.
Kaito.
Their photographs staring right back at me.
“So…”
I smiled.
“…let’s see what happens…”
My smile widened.
“…when someone starts messing with your plans.”
I turned off the bedroom light.
The upcoming Cultural Festival was going to be even more fun than I imagined.