Radiant golden hair like the sun. In those clear, sea-like eyes dwells curiosity.
Her boyish features carried a certain loveliness as well. Perhaps because of her scout class, she was lightly dressed, and her blouse-and-trousers look brought to mind a beautiful woman in men's clothing-yet her chest was positively bursting.
Even if the opponent is a prince-like, tomboyish1, big-breasted girl, one must not carelessly get swept up.
The righteous thief Filio Valceid is a person of exalted station.
"Do stop that, you! The girl is clearly distressed!"
Filio glares at me with a gallant look. A refreshing breeze blew in from somewhere, and that nostalgia made me grimace.
Why.......ah......so she was the kind of tomboy young lady who slipped incognito among the common folk.......
The story of how I learned in my past life that Filio was of noble birth goes like this. As usual, I got caught by Filio, and we ended up taking on a request.
'Mr. Hero, a wicked noble has taken a princess captive! Let us go and save her together!'
I thought it was nonsense, but the request was genuinely official. Half in doubt, we infiltrated the noble's mansion. After passing through a corridor rigged with traps for some reason, we reached the great hall-and I was suddenly bathed in a spotlight.
And then Filio declared it with a refreshing smile.
'Behold! This is the Bloodless White Porcelain Hero2, Mr. Haruya Arden!'
The great hall was packed with nobles who had gathered to catch a glimpse of me.
'It is a surprise, Mr. Hero!'
I still remember that smug look on her face.
If I weren't the Hero, and if Filio weren't a golden-haired, blue-eyed, baby-faced, big-breasted girl, I would never have laughed it off and forgiven her. And after that needlessly elaborate Hero debut party, I began walking the path of the Hero in earnest. The quests shot up in difficulty, and the expectations placed on me skyrocketed.
.............
I will never, ever get involved with the Kingdom royal family again!
"The hell're you!"
So saying, I intimidate with a thug-like move.
"A thief who aids the weak and smites evil... Filio Valceid!"
"Hah! As if such a kindhearted thief exists!"
She hasn't changed her self-introduction. The adventurers around us are dumbfounded too-no, they're not. They're being fooled by Filio's refreshing prince-like aura. So unfair.
"And who are you? Since I have given my name, you are obliged to answer."
"Obliged? Ain't no such thing. Your head gone soft?"
Duty, duty, duty......fufu, I heard that word plenty in my past life. The scariest thing about her is that she'll smile and die for everyone's smiles.......
Filio doesn't particularly change her expression, keeping that cute face, but inside she must be quite displeased. She absolutely hates arrogant and violent types, after all.
"...It seems you lack manners."
"Dahaha! I'm a badly raised, uncivilized adventurer, that's what!"
Good, good! My favorability is plummeting fast!
Being rude to a person of exalted station is scary, but......I never intend to meet her again. As I keep up my lowlife act, the Beautiful Guild Receptionist calls out to me.
"Lord Haruya, what is that? That character?"
Filio blinked.
"...Eh? This is Haruya Arden?"
"Yes, this is Lord Haruya. He's merely sloppy most of the time; he isn't a violent person."
Please don't blow my cover!
Filio stares at me suspiciously.
"I see... So you are the Haruya Arden of rumor."
What a displeased-looking face. Wait, I'm the subject of rumors?
Ah-right......I did attract attention, didn't I, with things like the first feat of its kind since the guild's founding. Which means, going by Filio's motivation of "it's not good for a capable adventurer to stay stuck around Bronze rank," she came to see me? She does fundamentally expect a lot from those with power.......
"I have heard of you. That you soak in a lukewarm bath at Bronze rank."
See-there it is. And then comes responsibility and duty, right?
"Haaahn? So what of it?"
"You bear responsibility. Were the world otherwise............you have the makings of a Hero candidate, perhaps. You are obliged to use that power to bring smiles to everyone."
It's completely unchanged from my past life!!!!
Well, of course. I have to hurry and drop my favorability to rock bottom!
"Responsibility and duty? What's that? Is it something my harem needs?"
I thrust my hips back and forth at high speed to demonstrate.
"I see......It appears you require education."
"Education, huh~?"
"Let me break that arrogant nose of yours4."
Still wearing that refreshing smile, Filio rests a hand on the slender sword at her hip.
Did I lower my favorability too much?!
In my past life, she challenged me to a duel to test my ability, and afterward Filio joined the party. The flow of this duel doesn't look good.
"Oi, oi. A duel between adventurers? Here? You're nuts."
"I don't mind. Permission granted."
The Beautiful Guild Receptionist said it lightly.
Ehhh? Why???
Could it be that arrangements were already made behind the scenes? Did the Adventurers Guild also fully intend to educate me? Were they actually super dissatisfied with me-a problem child with real ability who won't try to rank up???
I figured as much.
"So it is, Mr. Haruya."
Filio smiled as if she'd already won.
The adventurers around us-especially the female ones-seemed to sense I was about to get thoroughly beaten, and they were super pumped. I received heated encouragement like "Drop dead," "Tear it off," and "Make sure it never stands again."
Guh, fate is getting in my way at every turn!
I won't lose to fate, damn it!
"Fuhihi! You sure, missy? Fighting me with those huge breasts swinging... I might just cop a feel, y'knowwww!"
A barrage of jeers came flying at me.
Fuhahaha! I'll play the pathetic loser and liven up the place! And while I'm at it, I'll tank my reputation with the Adventurers Guild too!
Filio still wears that refreshing smile, but a quiet anger leaks out.
"How utterly contemptible......"
"Guhihi! If I win, you'll become mine, yeah? Aahn?"
"I think......you need a little pain. Come, whenever you're ready."
"Gugegege! I'm gonna crush you!"
Oops. My character drifted a bit.
Now then, I'll take her up on the offer and launch a surprise preemptive attack. And then Filio will defeat me as a cool prince-like character.
"Fuhih, then let's both take our distance... psyche!"
I pretended to put distance between us, drew my sword, and launched a preemptive strike. I swing my sword at Filio. Recalling how skilled she was when we met, a reasonably fast strike should do.
As expected, my sword got tangled up in her rapier and knocked to the floor.
"The thoughts of a person lacking in character are always the same."
"No, impossible! My sword! Th-there's no..."
"Impossible? You had some skill, I suppose, but you know far too little of how wide the world is."
......Currently, Filio's skill is around the upper Platinum rank? She's a top-class adventurer in these parts, then. Well, she's mainly a long-range fighter, so I can't accurately gauge her ability. In my past life, perhaps to keep up with me, she even polished her swordsmanship.
Oops, I need to do the loser act.
"Wh-who the hell are you?!"
"A thief who aids the weak and smites evil... Filio Valceid!"
Sensing this was the clincher, Filio hid her face with one hand and struck a pose with a bam. A nostalgic pose.......I got dragged into it so many times.......
Since she's gone that far, I'll commit to being a pathetic loser too. I hurriedly grabbed a steak knife from a nearby table.
"D-don't come closer! Stay away from meee!"
"You intend to fight with that? ......This goes beyond pitiful-I'm simply appalled."
Filio said that, and gallantly readied her rapier like a prince.
Perfect-!
I won! I beat fate! Serves you right, fate! Don't ever defy my life again!!!! All that's left is to endure and take some pain!
"......staaare."
I feel someone's probing gaze. It's Lily.
Lily must have heard the commotion, because she's mixed in with the onlookers, observing the fight. ......This is bad. Lily knows my skill to some extent. Did she see through me holding back?
I have to finish this before she realizes something's up with Filio!
"Sh-shut uuuup!"
I charge at Filio with the steak knife. Come on! Hurry up and strike me with your sword!
"I shall wake you up."
As jeers of "just die already" fly around, Lily opens her mouth so I can hear.
"Lord Haruya. Should you lose, there shall be no serving3-none at all."
To anyone who doesn't know, that would seem like nonsense. But upon learning that I wouldn't be able to finish inside, every cell in my body moved reflexively. You could say it's pure instinct now-no, it is instinct. Nothing but instinct!
Matching Filio's thrust, I swing the steak knife. I carved up the rapier with the knife, and just like that, I pressed the blade against her neck.
The air inside the Adventurers Guild fell completely silent in an instant.
"I... I lost......? No......with a steak knife......?"
Filio is astonished, looking as if she's learned just how wide the world is. It was also an expression as if she'd woken up.
My instincts, ohhhhhhhhhh!
Translation Notes:1 ↩ A speech style in which a female character refers to herself with the masculine first-person pronoun "boku," often used to convey a tomboyish or boyish charm.
2 ↩ A coined heroic epithet combining "bloodless" and "white porcelain," evoking an untouchable, pristine image of a hero who ends fights without bloodshed.
3 ↩ A euphemistic phrase literally meaning "no serving/extracting," used here as innuendo for withholding a sexual act; the joke relies on the blunt ambiguity of the wording.
4 ↩ An idiom meaning to crush someone's arrogance or put them in their place, literally "to smash their nose bridge."</glossary.map>
Trivia:
- Filio's "refreshing breeze" nostalgia hints that Haruya's past-life memories of her are tied to sensory impressions, foreshadowing how deeply she shaped his previous hero's journey.
- The guild receptionist's instant approval of the duel suggests the Adventurers Guild quietly wanted Haruya pressured into ranking up, revealing institutional frustration beneath her polite facade.
- Lily's threat about withholding "出し" works as a coded lever that bypasses Haruya's rational plan, showing his body and instincts retain conditioned responses from his past life that override his will.
Translation Notes:
1 ↩ A speech style in which a female character refers to herself with the masculine first-person pronoun "boku," often used to convey a tomboyish or boyish charm.
2 ↩ A coined heroic epithet combining "bloodless" and "white porcelain," evoking an untouchable, pristine image of a hero who ends fights without bloodshed.
3 ↩ A euphemistic phrase literally meaning "no serving/extracting," used here as innuendo for withholding a sexual act; the joke relies on the blunt ambiguity of the wording.
4 ↩ An idiom meaning to crush someone's arrogance or put them in their place, literally "to smash their nose bridge."
Notes:
• Valceid - Family name of Filio Valceid. Filio comes from a noble lineage and disguises herself as a boyish young woman among commoners. She is a scout-class adventurer skilled in trap avoidance, detection, and lockpicking, and owns a falcon named Persha. A self-proclaimed righteous thief, she believes the powerful have a duty to help others and make people smile. Cheerful, persistent, idealistic, and generous, she prioritizes civilians' lives and pushes capable people to fulfill their responsibilities. She joined Haruya's party in his past life and often insists on taking unpaid quests with a refreshing smile.
• Filio - Given name of Filio Valceid. A noble-born scout-class adventurer who disguises herself as a man. She has radiant golden hair, clear sea-blue eyes, and a boyish, handsome appearance with distinctly feminine loveliness. Despite her light blouse-and-trousers outfit, her large chest is conspicuous. Cheerful, persistent, and idealistic, she believes those with power have a duty to help others and make everyone smile. Skilled in scouting, detection, trap avoidance, and lockpicking, she owns a falcon named Persha. She prioritizes civilians' lives, rewards others generously, and refuses to let talent go to waste. A trusted companion from Haruya's past life, she often pushes his party to accept unpaid quests as a duty to do good.
• Haruya Arden - Former Holy Hero who defeated the Demon King and was resurrected after dying in a mutual kill, he now abandons the role for a modest life and a harem. Blunt, pragmatic, and self-deprecating, he hides his Silver-Iron rank combat skills while acting incompetent to avoid attention. Mentally scarred by Lily Arsiana's strict childhood training.
• Haruya - Solo adventurer in the trading city of Gran Neal, formerly the Holy Hero who defeated the Demon King Chronova. Maintains a bronze-rank adventurer status deliberately to avoid responsibility and attention. Slim-built young man in plain breast armor with a longsword and a large hip pouch of adventuring tools. Harbors a singular life goal of losing his virginity at a high-class brothel and building a harem, a dream he loudly declared at guild registration, earning him infamy among female adventurers while being well-liked by male adventurers for his candid lewd talk. Secretly a returnee from death who deliberately destroyed his hero-route reputation.
• Lily - A servant-type companion to Haruya who addresses him with formal deference. She is also described as an innkeeper at an adventurer's lodge and a devout follower of the Great Goddess faith, serving as a priestess of the Goddess Flora. Polite, composed, and professional, she is attentive to Haruya's needs and practical about travel funds, never complaining about unpaid quests. She observes Haruya's duel and recognizes when he is holding back, using a promised reward to snap him out of his deliberate losing act. Skilled in sleep magic, she has a sweet, deferential demeanor and a teasing streak. Though strict and proper on the surface, she deliberately seduces Haruya through the wall at night.