*
After finishing the meal, we got into the limousine.
Eri sat by the window, silent.
The kid who had been devouring the lobster like a warrior just moments ago was now staring blankly out the window.
'Is she sleepy because she's full? Or maybe...'
Her side profile looked somehow familiar.
It was a sight I felt I'd seen somewhere in my previous life...
'Who was it? Among the resident doctors...'
I guessed at Erika's condition and looked out the opposite window.
The limousine left Civitas Square and began its ascent to Sanctum Hill.*
At that moment, Erika's mind was racing with complicated thoughts.
Waking up in a noble's annex,
observing a deal involving an absurd amount of money,
and filling her stomach with an overwhelming abundance she had never even imagined.
Everything she had experienced today felt like a dream.
But in that dream-like space, the Head Butler's Q&A about 'qualification' was enough to bring her back to reality.
'I think I understand now why Mister Tao acted that way.'
The undisputed ruler of the Red-Light District, Wangcho—Tao Chen.
One cannot conquer that place with fists alone.
That place, a gathering of lives from the underbelly, was always filled with a malice that defied imagination.
Therefore, becoming the master of a street in such a region—the Red-Light District—meant possessing both the dignity and malice to match.
That was why Erika knew.
She knew just how cunning, crafty, and, if necessary, cruel that man who always grinned brightly in front of Yulian could be.
And the people of the Red-Light District remembered.
A story that Wangcho had spread as a warning on that day of heavy snow.
***
This winter, during the peak of the heavy snow.
A middle manager of the organization was caught secretly smuggling and selling drugs from Smoke Alley.
The problem was that the drugs he'd touched happened to be the business of another organization.
Limbus Pit is divided into territories that serve as the livelihoods of each street's boss.
Wangcho's 'Scarred Hyena' organization controlled prostitution and the slaughter business, which is how they dominated the Red-Light District.
And drugs were the livelihood of the organization from Smoke Alley.
Touch another's livelihood, and you lose a wrist.
That was the rule of this gutter.
In that sense, the middle manager's actions could have easily led to a war with Smoke Alley.
But Wangcho did not reprimand the manager.
Instead, he invited the manager to his dinner.
And as the banquet was ending, Wangcho chewed on a last piece of meat and spoke nonchalantly.
"I can understand why you dabbled in that damned drug business. It's natural for people to get greedy. I'm the same."
Wangcho said, wiping his mouth with a napkin.
"I've already smoothed things over with the proprietor of Smoke Alley. It won't be a big problem."
At those words, a healthy complexion returned to the manager's face.
A sense of relief, the thought I'm saved, flashed across his face.
But Wangcho's kindness ended there.
"But you, you tried to sell those drugs to children, didn't you?"
"Yes? W-Well, children carry a fair bit of petty cash... I thought if I sold it cheap and got them addicted, they'd become long-term customers... And in the old days..."
"Haa."
Wangcho cut the middle manager off with a deep sigh.
It was a lament mixed with annoyance.
"Look here. There's heavy snow outside. Do you know who returns once this snow stops?"
"W-Who..."
"...Tsk. You don't need to know. There's no need for you to know."
Annoyance crept into Wangcho's previously kind voice.
He gripped the knife in a reverse hold and scratched the table irritably.
"Then do you remember the rule I changed last year? What was it?"
"Now... we... do not make children... work in brothels... sir. Even if it's just chores..."
"Have you never thought about my intentions for making such a rule?"
"..."
"Think! Why do you think I made that rule! Huh? In the territory I manage! If The Revered One were to see children drooling, strung out on drugs... Huh? Huh! Huh!!"
"..."
"Are you crazy enough to try and get me killed!"
Stab!
Wangcho's knife plunged into the back of the manager's hand.
"...!"
"Drag him out!"
Before the manager could even scream, he was dragged away, unable to even pull out the knife.
The next day.
The bastard was found hanging upside down at the entrance of the slaughterhouse.
With a weight of flesh carved from his body equal to the gold coins he'd earned selling drugs to children.
And a few days later.
As soon as the heavy snow stopped, the corpse wasn't even buried, but was ground up by a cogwheel.
The pieces were washed down the sewer, leaving not even a gravestone behind.
From that day on, an absolute rule was carved into the minds of the people of Limbus Pit.
Do not touch children.
Be it drugs, or anything else.
***
Erika knew the aforementioned rule all too well.
It was the rule that had saved her life, she who was called the illegitimate child of a vampire.
The middle manager had been a fool; the people of the Red-Light District had grasped the nuance of the rule 'children do not work in brothels'.
Whatever the reason, do not touch children.
That was why, even though people considered Erika ominous, they never subjected her to more than physical abuse.
Because they feared the retaliation of a vampire?
No.
It was because they feared the wrath of the Red-Light District's master.
Furthermore, it was because they feared the unknown 'The Revered One' that the master of the Red-Light District feared.
Thanks to this, Erika, who had been living in hiding, had been able to be active at night for the past year.
But in reality, Erika knew nothing about 'The Revered One' who was protecting her.
Until a few days ago.
'So that was the Teacher.'
Erika felt as if all the pieces were finally falling into place.
It wasn't Wangcho who had changed the rule.
Director Schnabel had made the rule, and Wangcho had simply followed it.
Why?
It couldn't simply be because Director Schnabel was a major client of Wangcho's slaughter business.
'With the Teacher's daily income...'
A person like this could easily buy Wangcho's life.
'No, there would be no need to buy his life.'
A noble could hunt the poor and get away with just a small fine.
No matter how much of a master of the Red-Light District Wangcho was, to a Sanctum Hill noble, he was nothing more than a passing ant.
- A dog doesn't need to question the food that goes into its bowl.
She now understood the meaning of those words Wangcho always used to say.
Honey would fall his way as long as he just breathed by his side.
But if he got needlessly greedy, he could end up as a 'John Doe' floating in the sewer the next day.
She felt she understood why that cruel man named Tao Chen acted like a submissive puppy showing its belly in front of this man.
Loyalty is born from fear.
Only after understanding them did her broken sense of reality begin to return.
'A person like that made me his assistant?'
A chill went down her spine.
At first, she thought it was a lifeline.
A lifeline to escape the gutter.
But now, that lifeline looked like a gallows.
'Then where am I right now?'
Erika looked down at her own hands.
A sense of superiority from suddenly granted power?
That was a feeling one could only experience when they could properly wield it.
This was like telling a child to wield a greatsword.
And if she mishandled it, that greatsword could cut her in two.
'If I make a mistake, will this person, just like Wangcho did...'
There is a proverb.
A rope woven from gold is also good for hanging oneself.
It was a proverb that best described her current situation.
The rope pulling her up was perfectly shaped for hanging a neck.
And if the proverb held true, perhaps the price for her mistake wouldn't end with just the slaughterhouse.
No, it could be more dangerous than that.
The higher one flies, the more terrible the end that awaits.
It was just as her breath caught in her throat amidst such thoughts.
"You'll get indigestion."
Suddenly, Yulian's voice cut into her consciousness.
With a feeling like her heart was sinking, Erika whipped her head around.
"W-What is?"
"Why the sudden formal speech?"
"I-I'll just use it for today. So what's wrong?"
"...You looked unwell. I thought you were eating too quickly."
Yulian nonchalantly rested his chin on the windowsill.
"Eat slowly next time. The food isn't going to run away."
In that moment, goosebumps rose on Erika's spine.
The words she had just recalled, the ones Wangcho had said to the purged manager, echoed in her ears.
[It's natural for people to get greedy.]
The image of herself, shamelessly and greedily devouring the lobster.
Had this man seen her sordid appetite as a greed unbecoming of a noble?
Erika hurriedly bowed her head.
"... I-I'm sorry. I won't... be greedy again."
"...It wasn't something to react to like that."
Erika replied in a voice that was barely a whisper.
Yulian's response didn't reach her ears.
No, rather, even Yulian's ordinary reply sounded like a warning that she did not belong in this space.
And the fear that she could be disposed of at any moment tightened around her heart.
It was then.
That Yulian suddenly inserted himself into the gap in her consciousness.
"Come to think of it, I was like that once too."
"You...?"
Yulian's gaze was still directed out the window.
The gas lamps of Sanctum Hill, beginning to light up one by one.
The gentle lighting cast shadows on Yulian's face.
"I'm the adopted son of this family. Not so much now, but there was a time when I was a foreign object in the family."
Erika's eyes widened.
It was something she could have never imagined.
Judging by the treatment he received at the mansion and the Head Butler's attitude at dinner, she could only have imagined him as a biological child.
"Everyone's laughing and talking elegantly, but I feel like I'm the only one out of place. Like someone could replace me at any moment."
Yulian let out a small laugh and turned to look at Erika.
"When I first rode in a luxurious car like this, I couldn't breathe either."
"T... Teacher, you had that kind of experience too."
"Of course. How could I not know the sorrow of an outsider?"
Yulian shrugged.
His gray eyes held a playful, yet somewhat bittersweet light.
"The more it's like that, the more you need someone to tell you why you should be here."
"..."
Yulian tapped his fingers on the windowsill.
"If you don't know why you're here, you get tired quickly. You wear yourself out just by being conscious of others."
Erika bit her lip.
Because that was exactly her current state.
"So let's be clear about this."
Yulian's half-open eyes looked at Erika.
It was a gaze that was warm, yet held a hint of longing.
"Why do you think you became my assistant?"
"Uh... because I can sense the strange energy inside the body?"
"Correct. That's one reason."
Yulian nodded.
He held up one finger, then a second.
"But there's another reason. You survived in the Limbus Pit."
"Why does that..."
"When you're only in high places, you can't see what's underfoot."
"..."
"If you don't know what's underfoot, you're bound to slip someday."
Yulian let out a shallow yawn.
"It's just that I'm the type of person who needs to know where my feet are planted to be satisfied."
Erika mulled over his words.
To see what's underfoot. She understood that.
But why her, of all people?
"...So is that why you need me?"
Erika herself was surprised at the words that came out of her mouth.
Yulian turned his head.
His half-lidded eyes looked at her.
"To see what's underfoot, you need eyes that grew up underfoot."
Yulian replied in a calm voice.
"Eyes that grew up in Sanctum Hill can't see the Limbus Pit. It's the same for Wangcho. He's already climbed too high."
Yulian turned his gaze back to the window.
"But you're different. You survived there."
Erika stared blankly at him.
The fact that she grew up there.
That she had survived by licking blood off the slaughterhouse floor.
That she had shivered through the night by a pitiful fire.
Did he mean that all of that shameful past had value to this person?
"...Is that useful?"
"Of course it is."
Yulian chuckled.
"Our consultation room wouldn't function without you now. And you have plenty of value on your own. You found malaria in that last patient, didn't you? Do you think Wangcho could have done that?"
Erika couldn't answer.
Something hot surged up from a corner of her chest.
Until now, her existence had always been a curse.
Illegitimate child of a vampire. A monster that craves blood. An unclean thing.
A being that shouldn't exist. A being that should disappear.
But this person denied all of that.
He said it was a talent, not a disease.
He said he needed her, not that he pitied or sympathized with her.
'Ah.'
Only then did she understand the Head Butler's words.
They weren't words to test her qualification.
[If the clothes are too big, you just have to grow your body to fit them.]
[You just have to try until you fit in.]
It meant it was okay if she didn't fit in right now,
it meant she could just keep trying until she did.
And it also meant that she had the qualification to make that effort.
"...I understand."
Erika said softly.
"I just have to look at what's underfoot for you, Teacher."
Yulian looked at her for a moment.
Then he shrugged.
"Right. So I'll give you your second task."
Yulian pointed at her.
"Stop with the sudden formal speech and walking on eggshells. What I want is a partner. Not a servant."
In that instant, Erika's heart pounded.
She was acknowledged.
This colossal being had granted qualification to her, who had nothing.
That weight was so heavy, and at the same time so warm, that Erika bit her lip without realizing it.
"...Yes, no, I got it."
Erika forced herself to use her usual way of speaking.
She couldn't hide the slight tremble at the end of her voice, but that was something she could fix over time.
"If you fall, Teacher, I'll be the first to catch you. I know the floors of Limbus Pit with my eyes closed."
"Yeah. That's good to see."
Yulian chuckled.
And leaning against the window to close his eyes, he murmured softly.
"Tell me whenever you doubt why you're here. I'll tell you anytime."
Soon, Yulian crossed his arms and sought sleep.
Silence enveloped the inside of the limousine.
Erika quietly looked out the window.
The distant sky above the smog was still unimaginable.
She didn't know if she dared to fly near such a place. And she certainly didn't know if she was allowed to covet it.
But she wasn't afraid anymore.
Because she felt she now knew what this man wanted from her.
The moment she was able to understand, and the moment she was understood, it was no longer an object of fear.
***
Overcome by a food coma, I closed my eyes in the car and thought.
'To think she's worrying about something like that.'
I thought Eri was intimidated, and when I talked to her, it turned out to be true.
No wonder she wasn't eating with much gusto, unlike when we entered the buffet.
'I wondered where I'd seen that before.'
It was exactly like the symptoms I experienced as a medical student and resident doctor.
In slang, we called it altitude sickness; it's a symptom that appears when your world suddenly changes.
It's not that your world literally changes, but you get intimidated because there are so many talented people around you.
Especially when you join their ranks right after the CSAT, you start feeling so insignificant.
'Or was it just me?'
Maybe it was worse for me because I was from a humble background.
And when these thoughts intensify, they manifest as a symptom called 'Impostor Syndrome'.
It's a symptom that's especially common among resident doctors and graduate students.
- Who am I? Where am I?
It's a symptom that can be roughly summarized by this one sentence.
You feel anxious that you're deceiving others, and feel you're being evaluated higher than your actual abilities.
'Then you start wanting to desert before you cause a huge accident and your abilities are exposed.'
It's not for nothing that protagonists of the misunderstanding genre make desertion their goal.
If this Impostor Syndrome isn't dealt with in a timely manner, it leads to a vicious cycle.
It feels like others are doing things effortlessly, but a luck-based one-trick misunderstanding protagonist like oneself couldn't do the same.
Because you don't trust your own abilities, you actually start making more mistakes no matter what you do,
which leads you to put in unnecessary effort that actually lowers your work efficiency,
and then you eventually get burnout and try to avoid your work.
'There was even a resident doctor who deserted because of that.'
In my previous life, when I was a fellow, a resident doctor joined the surgery department.
He thought he'd gotten into surgery by luck, and then his mistakes became more and more frequent.
Seeing him reminded me of my own fledgling days, so I often looked out for him.
And what do you know? That bastard suddenly deserted one day without a word.
The memory of the runaway chase all the way to Tsushima Island to catch him, buying him sushi there, and putting him back in the operating room comes back to me vividly.
Chun-shik.
Are you doing well?
...Come to think of it, to him, I must have been like a master of a magic tower trying to put a leash on him.
Wow! The Misunderstanding of Chun-shik! The End!
Moving on.
'Sigh. I can't be doing a runaway chase here too.'
Maybe the Erika from the original work had a desertion event.
But I don't want to experience that.
It's because I only want to use the advantages of the misunderstanding genre, not recreate the original work.
And to do that, I have to constantly remind Erika that she's here because of her skill, not luck.
In short, if your neighbors are Joker, Batman, or Two-Face, you have to keep reminding them that they're at least a Scarecrow.
'Eri. You are that good.'
You're a being as precious as Insulin, Colchicine, and Quinine.
A mage's talent isn't that common.
It's roughly equivalent to a hospital's state-of-the-art MRI machine.
In that sense, I couldn't understand Erika's reaction.
'Well, I guess I can understand it if this is a characteristic of the misunderstanding genre.'
A peculiarity of the misunderstanding genre.
There's always a raw gemstone nearby who underestimates their own worth.
It was a plausibility that existed so the protagonist could discover them and freeload through life.
When I thought of it that way, this level of lip service was no problem for me.
Isn't it the protagonist's duty to polish a raw gemstone into a gem?
'She was so intimidated today she couldn't even eat much.'
I thought I should take her to a buffet again next time and let her eat to her heart's content.
Or maybe it would be good to rent out an entire restaurant so she could eat without worrying about others.
*
Before long, the limousine's engine vibration gently subsided.
As the car stopped, Erika, who had briefly surrendered to drowsiness, opened her eyes.
A grand mansion came into view.
The limousine door opened.
Yulian got out first, and Erika followed him.
And as she followed Yulian walking toward the mansion, she murmured softly.
"...Thank you."
Yulian didn't hear.
No, even if he had heard, he would have thought nothing of it.
That night.
For the first time in the annex, Erika slept without having a nightmare.
The down comforter was unbelievably cozy.