In any other situation, if I had heard such words from my beloved character, I probably would have fainted from delight. My fangirl heart first froze in fright, then began beating twice as fast. Somewhere deep inside, a completely inappropriate thought burst forth: "You can do whatever you want with me!" — but fortunately, the remnants of common sense still suggested that Kayla’s intentions in this situation were far from my romantic fantasies.
She most likely meant something far less... inspiring.
Be that as it may, in the end I was still shown the door.
However, that did not mean I was going to give up.
No way!
I was only at the very beginning of my long journey to restore Kayla Regwerd to a normal life. And even if I had lost the first battle decisively, that did not mean I was going to lose the entire war.
So that night I spent tossing and turning, replaying our conversation in my head. And by morning, I had fully resolved to meet Kayla again and continue my attempts to reach her.
Only...
The next day, for some reason, no one came for me.
Usually, everything happened the same way: when Her Grace was ready to receive me for another purification session, one of the servants would come to my room, politely inform me of this, and escort me upstairs to the Grand Duchess’s chambers. Over these days, it had become something of a ritual.
But today was different.
Time passed. The sun had long risen high, noon had come and gone, and still there was no sound of footsteps or knocking at my door.
At first, I simply waited.
Then I started to get nervous.
And after a while longer, I could no longer sit still: I kept peeking into the corridor, listening to every rustle behind the door, hoping to catch the sound of familiar footsteps. But the estate remained unusually quiet.
In the end, I decided that perhaps some mistake had occurred. Maybe Kayla had simply forgotten to send a servant for me?..
Clinging to this thought, I finally gathered my courage and went to her room myself.
I had almost reached the familiar door when the servant standing guard suddenly stepped forward, blocking my path.
"Miss, I apologize, but you cannot enter," he said with noticeable awkwardness.
"What?.." I stopped in confusion. "But why? Does Her Grace not have a purification session today? That is what I came for."
The servant clearly hesitated.
"...Her Grace said she does not wish to receive anyone today," he finally answered, cautiously glancing at the closed door.
Something inside me pricked unpleasantly.
"Even me?.." I asked, though the answer was already obvious.
The man guiltily averted his gaze.
"There were no specific instructions regarding you, Miss. Therefore... you cannot enter either. I am sorry."
"..."
I was even more bewildered.
What was going on?.. Why had Kayla suddenly decided to cancel the treatment? Was it really just a matter of her mood?.. Or had my words from yesterday hurt her far more deeply than I had thought?
To be honest, despite all my love for Kayla and my confidence that I knew almost everything about her, even I could not understand what was going on in her head right now.
But... I could not exactly force my way into her room, could I?
In the end, all I could do was sigh heavily, take one last look at the closed door, and leave.
At the time, I tried to convince myself that nothing terrible had happened. After all, missing one day of treatment would not be a catastrophe, right? I decided to simply give Kayla some time to collect herself. Perhaps she needed to be alone after our conversation.
Only...
Things turned out to be far worse than I had imagined.
Three days had already passed, and Kayla still had not called for me even once.
The servant still stood guard at the door to her chambers, not allowing anyone to disturb his mistress’s peace. I could not even simply approach and knock — if only to make sure she was all right.
This was starting to drive me mad.
And every time, I heard the same thing:
"Her Grace is not in a good mood today. Please do not disturb her."
Phew...
But three days in a row of "not in a good mood" was excessive, was it not?!
At some point, I finally felt my own helplessness. For three days straight, I had been wandering aimlessly around the estate, unable to find a place for myself and not knowing what to do next.
And now, at the end of the third day of my forced idleness, I sat in the living room on the first floor, my legs tucked under me, sighing gloomily into a mug of tea that had long gone cold.
Outside the windows, the evening light slowly faded. Long shadows fell across the floor, and the familiar, oppressive silence reigned in the house.
My heart was heavy.
It was already late — most of the servants had long finished their work and gone to their rooms. Only Asha and I remained in the living room, as she had kindly agreed to keep me company.
I sat on the sofa with a cup of tea after dinner, while Asha settled into the armchair opposite me. At first, she was noticeably nervous — she kept straightening her back and clearly felt out of place. After all, this armchair was usually intended either for the heads of the house or for important guests.
But I told her that there was nothing wrong with it right now. The rest of the staff had already dispersed, and there was no one to scold us anyway.
Especially since the mistress of the house still had not left her room.
After these words, Asha relaxed a little and finally stopped looking as if she were ready to jump to her feet at the slightest rustle.
For a while, a cozy, relaxed silence settled between us. Only the soft clinking of a spoon against porcelain and my heavy sighs could be heard — and of the latter, there were probably the most.
Finally, Asha could not stand it and cautiously asked:
"Miss Rider... is something bothering you?"
There was such sincere concern in her voice that my eyes nearly welled up with tears.
Well, well... at least someone in this house worried about me!
And yet...
"A little," I admitted, sighing heavily again and putting my mug down on the table. "The truth is, Her Grace has not called for me for three days now. And I am very worried because she has been going without treatment all this time."
"Ah... yes," Asha nodded gloomily, pressing her lips together slightly. "I heard about it from the other servants. It seems the mistress really has no desire to receive anyone right now. That... sometimes happens."
"Asha..."
"Y-yes?"
"You have been working in this mansion for quite a while now, have you not?"
"Well... yes," the maid thought for a moment. "I believe it has been about five years."
Five years.
That was quite some time.
Even though Asha looked rather young — she could have been just over twenty — she was by no means a newcomer. Over these years, she had surely come to understand well how life in the Regwerd estate worked.
That was precisely why I decided to ask directly.
"Then... could you tell me a little more about Her Grace?"
"About Her Grace?.." Asha was slightly taken aback, and clear confusion flickered in her eyes.
"Yes," I nodded. "Now that I am her healer, I need to understand not only her illness. I want to know how she lives, what surrounds her, what her daily routine is... Especially over the past six months."
After my request, the maid visibly hesitated.
After all, discussing the mistress of the house behind her back — even late in the evening when no one else was around — clearly seemed wrong to her. Asha did not strike me as someone who liked to gossip or break established rules.
However, it seemed the fact that I was officially responsible for the Grand Duchess’s treatment did play a role.
After a brief pause, she finally decided to speak.
The maid nervously looked around, as if afraid someone might overhear us, and only then began to speak quietly:
"To be honest... even though I have worked here for several years, I still cannot say that I know Her Grace well. Ordinary servants rarely catch her eye. And I personally have hardly ever had the chance to speak with her... so I am not sure how useful my account will be."
"I understand," I nodded. "I do not need any secrets or important mysteries. Just... tell me a little about her ordinary life. About how her days go."
"About Her Grace’s life?.." Asha thoughtfully pressed her lips together.
For a few seconds, she was silent, gathering her thoughts, and then she finally began to speak.
Truth be told, there was nothing particularly surprising in her words.
As expected, for the past six months, Kayla had led an almost completely reclusive life. She rarely left her room and hardly spoke to anyone. Even servants were not often allowed to enter — even just to clean or bring food.
The door to her chambers remained closed to almost everyone.
"...The only exception is the butler, Gerald," Asha added, and involuntary respect crept into her voice. "They are quite close. The butler has served the Regwerd family since the time of the former Duke. He is the one who now helps Her Grace with all her daily affairs."
"Butler Gerald?.." Hearing this name, I immediately recalled the elderly man I had met on my first day at the estate. The same old man who had conducted my interview. It seemed he was the one she meant.
"Yes," Asha nodded. "He is Her Grace’s most trusted person in the house. The mistress speaks mostly only to him. And... sometimes the butler accompanies her on walks."
"What?.." I nearly jumped out of my seat. "On walks?!"
At that moment, I literally came alive.
"Is that true? Does Her Grace really go out for walks?"
"Yes," Asha replied. "As far as I know, a couple of times a week, the mistress does leave her room for a walk."
Hearing this, I felt such relief that I nearly burst into tears on the spot.
Because all this time, I had seriously feared that Kayla had not gone out for fresh air even once in half a year. The mere thought that my beloved character sat in a dark, stuffy room day after day, as if voluntarily locking herself in a cage, caused me almost physical pain.
So now, learning that she did occasionally go outside — even if infrequently — made me feel a little better.
So... she had not completely cut herself off from the world after all.
But then...
"If that is the case," I frowned, "why was I told that Her Grace has not seen Lady Irene at all during all this time? Should they not have crossed paths at least occasionally by accident?"
"Well... that is..." Asha awkwardly lowered her gaze. "The thing is, the mistress usually goes for walks late at night."
"At night?.." I asked in complete bewilderment.
"Yes," the maid confirmed. "By that time, everyone in the house is already asleep."
I froze.
Walks... at night?
Was that even normal?
Why not go for walks during the day, like ordinary people?..
Or...
Was she doing it on purpose — to avoid seeing anyone and to keep from being seen herself?
As soon as this thought formed in my head, something inside me clenched unpleasantly again.
No, of course, I was glad that Kayla at least occasionally left her room. That was still better than total isolation.
But... for some reason, the thought that she even took her walks under the cover of night felt especially bitter.
As if she truly was trying to disappear from this world.
I sank back into thought, sifting through everything I had learned.
What was I to do now?
Waiting for Kayla to call me again on her own was pointless. I could sit like that for another week... or a month.
I needed to come up with something else.
And just at that moment, as I began mentally constructing some sort of plan, something warm and rather heavy suddenly settled onto my lap, softly and completely silently.
I flinched and looked down.
It was a cat.
Large, well-groomed, with luxurious black fur. He looked truly noble — with his head held high, an imperturbable expression, and a face that I could only describe as "aristocratic superiority."
Huh?..
I involuntarily stared in surprise at the animal, which had settled on my lap without the slightest hesitation and was now busily curling into a ball, as if this place had always belonged to him.
"Asha... and this is?.." I asked in confusion, afraid to move too much lest I startle the unexpected guest.
"Oh," the maid was also noticeably surprised, but more from the unexpectedness than from fear. "It seems the young lady’s cat has escaped from her room again. He sometimes does that when he gets bored."
"What? This is really Irene’s cat?" I was even more surprised. So this was not some random animal that had snuck into the house, but almost a full-fledged member of the family.
"Yes," Asha nodded, and her voice noticeably warmed. "Her Grace gave him to the young lady for her birthday once. It is a rare imperial breed — very expensive and beautiful. His name is Lemur."
"Lemur, then?.." I could not help but smile and cautiously ran my hand over the cat’s glossy fur. "An unusual name. But it suits him."
And indeed it suited him perfectly.
Despite his arrogant and important demeanor, Lemur turned out to be surprisingly affectionate. He calmly allowed himself to be petted, closed his eyes with pleasure, and purred quietly, vibrating with his whole body. Even the way he lay was somehow... regal. There was something strangely familiar about him.
One could even say he reminded me of someone.
I could not help but chuckle at my thoughts and continued slowly stroking his warm, soft back.
"Miss Rider, do you like animals?" Asha asked with a smile, watching this unexpected idyll.
"Yes..." I admitted honestly. "Actually, I have always wanted to get a cat. But it never worked out before."
And this was the absolute truth.
In my past life, I loved cats. But my younger brother had a severe allergy to fur, so all my dreams of a fluffy pet were shattered against harsh reality time and again. So since childhood, I could only look at other people’s cats with slight envy.
And who would have thought that the first time I could calmly pet a cat would be here?
Asha watched us for a while with a soft smile, but then her face suddenly darkened slightly, as if she had remembered something important.
"The young lady’s cat sometimes escapes from her room," she sighed. "But we had better return him quickly, before the lady starts to worry. She gets very anxious when he is away for long."
"But can he not roam freely around the house?" I asked, continuing to scratch Lemur behind the ear. "After all, he is not a prisoner."
"That used to be the case," Asha hesitated, choosing her words. "But once, Lemur escaped and got lost. The young lady was so worried that she nearly took to her bed from anxiety. They searched the whole house for him and only found him several hours later — already on the far grounds of the duchy. Since then, Lady Irene tries to keep him close to her."
The maid paused for a moment, then added quietly:
"After all, he is a gift from her sister. The only thing she has left from those happy times."
I fell quiet after these words.
Now I understood.
Lemur was not just a beloved pet to Irene. He was a small thread connecting her to Kayla. A warm reminder of a time when closeness still existed between them.
"Well..." I carefully lifted the cat, who meowed in protest but did not resist. "Then later I will take him to Lady Irene’s room myself. That will put her more at ease."
After that, Asha and I sat in the living room for a while longer. Lemur had made himself comfortable on my lap and, it seemed, had absolutely no intention of leaving. I continued to stroke him absently, though my thoughts were already far away.
Yes.
In the end, I realized I would have to choose a completely different tactic if I truly wanted to get closer to Kayla.
Direct conversations did not work. The moment I approached too closely, she immediately closed up, like a seashell hiding behind a sturdy shell.
But if I could not break through this wall directly... then why not try to find someone who already stood on the other side?
To be precise, I decided to act through the person who, by all appearances, was currently closest to Kayla.
Butler Gerald.