Kayla and I walked slowly through the grounds of the Regwerd estate. The garden around us was immersed in night silence and thick darkness, but the tall lamps along the paths cast a soft golden light, thanks to which, even at such a late hour, the walk felt quite calm and cozy.
For a while, we were silent.
I carefully supported Kayla by the arm, and just this made my heart beat so strongly that it seemed ready to leap out of my chest. For me, the very opportunity to walk beside her like this, to feel the warmth of her hand, already felt like a true gift of fate!
Kayla herself, however, was clearly in a far less enthusiastic mood...
Oh well.
The main thing was that we were together now. And, at least, she had agreed to listen to me.
After some time, when we passed the avenue of old linden trees and reached the pond, in whose black water the reflection of the moon trembled, Kayla was the first to break the silence.
"Well?" she asked quietly. "What exactly did you want to talk about?"
I involuntarily hesitated, gathering my thoughts.
Starting this conversation turned out to be much harder than I had imagined. Especially knowing that it could all end in either an argument or another wall of cold silence.
"It concerns Lady Irene..." I finally said quietly.
"What?" Kayla immediately frowned.
Her brows drew together, and a noticeable bewilderment appeared on her face — as if she had least expected me to speak about Irene. Not about the treatment. Not about her health. But about her younger sister.
"The thing is," I continued cautiously, "it seems to me that Lady Irene has serious problems at the academy..."
But the furrow between Kayla’s brows did not disappear.
On the contrary — it only deepened.
She still did not interrupt me, yet I distinctly felt her fingers in my palm tense almost imperceptibly.
Not waiting for Kayla to answer — and, possibly, to say something very sharp — I hurriedly continued:
"Recently, Lady Irene has been constantly missing classes. I saw with my own eyes how she argued with Mrs. Farris, how she refused to go back to the academy... And I think the reason is that she has serious problems there. Most likely... with other children. She said that her peers insult her because of... because of your situation."
I fell silent, allowing her to absorb what she had heard.
Silence reigned around us again.
We stood at the very edge of the pond, and the dark water remained almost still — only occasionally circles spread across its surface from fallen leaves.
"...And that is all?" Kayla finally said.
Her voice sounded dry. Almost disappointed.
"...Huh?" I asked in confusion.
"You forced me to come on this walk with you just to tell me about such things?"
She did not even try to hide her irritation.
"Damn it..." Kayla exhaled wearily. "And I thought it was actually something important. But in the end, you are telling me about some childish conflicts at the academy?"
"But..." I was taken aback, feeling something heavy clench unpleasantly inside me. "Lady Irene really has problems. She is suffering. Is that not important?"
Until this moment, we had been walking calmly side by side, but now Kayla suddenly stopped so abruptly that I nearly tripped.
Of course, she could not see me.
And yet she turned her head toward me with such precision, as if she were looking directly into my eyes through the thick blindfold.
"What business is any of this to you?" she asked coldly.
The tone of her voice left no room for argument.
"Th-this is..." I faltered.
"What business are my younger sister’s affairs to you?" Kayla continued.
Her voice did not grow louder, but with each word, harshness became more and more apparent in it.
"Why do you even care so much about all of this?"
"Ah... well..." I began, suddenly feeling my tongue literally stick to the roof of my mouth.
For a moment, I was flustered and did not immediately find an answer.
Probably, from the outside, my behavior really did look strange. Why would an ordinary hired worker worry so much about someone else’s child?
Although... perhaps the reason was more obvious than it seemed.
After all, Irene was Kayla’s younger sister. And that alone was enough for her to cease being a "stranger" to me.
But, probably, it was not only that.
In my past life, I also had a younger brother — about the same age as Irene is now. And, perhaps without realizing it myself, I was unconsciously projecting some of my feelings onto her. Seeing in her someone I had once lost.
Be that as it may, none of this changed the main thing:
I truly and sincerely worried about this girl!
"I simply do not feel indifferent to other people’s problems," I finally answered evasively, not wanting to go into details. "Especially when it comes to children."
"Ah, is that so?" Kayla chuckled shortly, but there was not a trace of warmth in that chuckle. "Then with such a virtuous soul, you should have worked at the central cathedral. There are plenty of people there in need of care. And they probably pay much better."
I chose to remain silent in response to this jab.
After that, we moved forward again.
The night garden once again sank into silence, broken only by the measured sound of footsteps on the gravel path — hers calm and confident... and mine, slightly quicker, as if I were still trying to keep up with Kayla not only physically but in every other way as well.
"In any case," I continued calmly, "I brought this up because I truly worry about Lady Irene. And I hoped that you, as her older sister, would not stand aside from her problem..."
Kayla thought for only a few seconds — just long enough to process my words.
"Problem?" she finally repeated. "Can what you described truly be called a problem?"
"...What?" I was even taken aback.
"You said that Irene has difficulties in her relationships with her peers," her voice sounded even, almost indifferent. "But that is a completely ordinary phenomenon. People, especially children of aristocrats, can be cruel. And whether Irene likes it or not, she will have to learn to live among them. In the future, she will still be moving in that society. If she is not capable of handling even such trifles, how does she plan to survive in the adult world?"
I involuntarily fell silent.
To be honest, I had least expected such an answer.
But... did her words not sound too cold?
After all, it was about her younger sister!
"But..." I cautiously objected, "that does not negate the fact that Lady Irene is struggling right now. Can we simply leave her alone to face this?"
"Struggling?" Kayla chuckled shortly. "At her age, I had to face far more terrifying things."
I involuntarily bit my lip.
"...My sister," Kayla continued more harshly, "grew up in comfort and care. She has always had a nanny, teachers, a huge house, and servants ready to fulfill her every whim. All that is required of her is to study and behave worthily of her position. Is that really so much?"
"And yet..."
"In the future, Irene will become a Grand Duchess," Kayla cut me off sharply. "And that entails responsibility and the ability to cope with the blows of fate. Far more serious blows than childish mockery. For her own future, she must learn to handle such things on her own. It will harden her, make her stronger. If I rush to save her every time difficulties arise, she will never grow up."
After these words, a heavy pause hung between us.
The night air seemed especially cold.
And, to be honest... I both understood Kayla and did not understand her at all.
On one hand, there was logic in her words. She herself had been through hell and probably sincerely believed that only trials make a person stronger. Perhaps she wanted to prepare Irene for the cruel world where no one would pity her.
But on the other hand...
It still seemed wrong to me to leave Irene alone like that.
Because, despite everything, she was still just a child.
And children sometimes do not need hardening. Sometimes they just need someone to be there and support them!
Having gathered my courage, I tried to speak again:
"Your Grace, I..."
But Kayla did not let me finish.
"Enough," she cut off sharply.
Her voice sounded harsh, almost rude.
"I do not intend to discuss my sister’s affairs with a person who has no concern in them. This is a family matter. And I ask you not to interfere in the future."
With these words, she seemed to finally put an end to the conversation.
I had to fall silent, although inside I was literally boiling with unspoken objections.
And yet... as much as I wanted to argue, I understood: in a sense, Kayla was right. No matter how you looked at it, this really was not my business.
In this house, I was just a hired worker. Simply an outsider who was sticking her nose too far where she had not been invited.
After this, silence fell between us again.
This time — far heavier and more tense than before.
Only the cool night wind rustled the leaves somewhere overhead.
By that time, we had almost reached the exit from the garden. Ahead, the wrought-iron gate leading back to the back porch of the mansion was already visible.
I realized: the walk was coming to an end.
And if I wanted to say anything else, there might not be another chance.
"Your Grace..."
As soon as I spoke again, Kayla’s face immediately darkened. She clearly thought I was going to return to the previous topic, and her tone instantly became cold and warning:
"If you intend to speak about Irene again, then..."
"No," I interrupted, before I could lose my nerve. "This time, I want to ask not about Lady Irene."
Kayla frowned slightly.
"...Then what about?"
I took a deep breath.
"About you."
Genuine confusion appeared on Kayla’s face — it seemed she really had not expected such a turn.
And I, having mustered my courage, stepped closer and looked at her face — unseeing, hidden by a blindfold... and still painfully beautiful.
"Your Grace..." I said quietly. "How long do you intend to live like this?"
She froze.
"Can this even be called living?" I continued. "You have locked yourself in a cage... and you yourself hold the key to it."
"..."
"I know you will say again that I am meddling in things that do not concern me," I continued, feeling my voice tremble treacherously with emotion, "but I simply cannot keep silent. Because I see how you are slowly fading away... and watching this without doing anything is beyond my strength."
Kayla did not answer.
She stood motionless, facing the dark garden where the silhouettes of trees were barely discernible in the night gloom. Her face remained calm and cold, as if carved from stone, but for some reason I still felt that a real storm was raging inside her.
And I could not bear it.
"...You are still so young!" I burst out almost desperately. "Your Grace, you are not yet thirty. You cannot... you cannot give up on your life so early!"
But at this, Kayla merely chuckled quietly.
"What? What are you talking about?" Her voice sounded tired, almost lifeless. "My life is already over, so there is no cross to place on it. A cross is placed on something that was alive. And I... I am already almost dead."
"...What?" I caught my breath.
"I intend to hold on only until Irene comes of age," she continued calmly. "I will pass the title to her, and then I will retire. That is all. Nothing more is required of me."
For a moment, the world seemed to freeze.
I had not expected to hear such words from her at all.
My heart clenched painfully, skipped a beat, and then began beating so strongly that the noise rang in my ears.
"How... how can you speak like that?.." I exhaled and, without noticing it myself, tightened my grip on her elbow.
But Kayla either did not notice or simply pretended not to.
She merely shrugged almost imperceptibly.
"Is it not obvious?" she asked almost rhetorically. "I have no chance of survival anyway. As a healer, you should understand that better than anyone. So I am simply not going to fight the inevitable. Why waste energy on something that cannot be changed?"
For a moment, I could not breathe.
Perhaps, in Kayla’s eyes — and in everyone else’s — everything really did look like that. Hopeless. Fatal. An end that could not be undone.
But I knew the truth!
I knew that thanks to my holy power, thanks to these daily purification procedures, Kayla still had a chance. Not a phantom chance, not a mythical one, but a real one.
"And what... if it were not so?.." I asked in a trembling voice.
"What?" Kayla turned her head toward me, and even through the blindfold I felt her bewilderment.
"What if... you had a chance to survive?"
Kayla first froze, surprised by my words, and then smiled coldly.
"Stop it," she cut off. "I know that is impossible. My condition is incurable..."
"And yet!" I excitedly interrupted her. "Just... imagine it. Even for a second. Imagine it is possible. That you really could survive. What would you do then?"
After my words, a long silence fell.
Heavy. Oppressive.
Kayla was silent for so long that I began to fear she would not answer at all.
But then she finally spoke.
"I would die," she said calmly.
"...What?" I did not believe my ears.
By this time, we had already left the garden and stopped near the wrought-iron gate. Beyond it, the porch of the mansion darkened, and the cold night wind gently tousled Kayla’s crimson hair. It shone brightly even in the dim moonlight, like tongues of flame.
"Even if by some miracle I managed to survive," Kayla smiled coldly, "I would still end this worthless life with my own hands."