Kang I-yul gave an awkward smile.
"……Oh. There's a hairstyle I had in mind."
'Right. That damned Sapsali-dog hair.'
I-yul.
I really do like you, but that one is a terrible idea.
I stated my case without a moment's hesitation.
"Black hair suits you best."
I'd already said it, so I might as well see it through.
Kang I-yul stared at me. The disbelief was written all over his face.
"……Why?"
"Because you're handsome."
Silence fell again.
This time, it lasted a little longer.
I heard someone mutter, "He's crazy."
"……Oh."
The tips of Kang I-yul's ears slowly turned red.
'He's still just as weak to compliments.'
"Don't dye your hair and hide that handsome face."
Kang I-yul opened his mouth, then shut it again.
He looked like he was searching for words.
"No, but why are you telling me—"
"You asked earlier."
I answered without missing a beat.
"You said, 'Should I dye it?'"
"I was just talking to myself—"
"And I answered you."
Kang I-yul stared at me, speechless.
'W-what are you going to do about it?'
As the esteemed Yu Seong-a once said, life is all about confidence.
"No, and why would you suddenly say something so strange—"
"What? That you're handsome?"
"……."
I shrugged.
"If you're handsome, I call you handsome. What else would I say?"
The people behind us were in an uproar by now.
Having come this far, I couldn't back down.
Kang I-yul ran a hand over his face.
"……Ha."
He laughed as though he couldn't believe me, but he didn't look displeased.
Now was the time to push.
"Also, what do you think about leaving your bangs a little longer?"
While he was still thrown off, I intended to take this all the way.
"Longer?"
"Yes. Just enough to show a little forehead."
Before I'd returned to the past, people's opinions of I-yul's looks had improved as the survival show went on. The response came once his hair grew out.
A hairstyle that got other people teased for looking like mussels somehow suited I-yul perfectly.
'The way it fluttered onstage was a work of art.'
Just then, the stylist nodded.
"That's a good idea."
"It is?"
"He has a lovely forehead and face shape. It'll really bring out his look."
With the stylist on my side, I-yul began to consider it.
'He's coming around…… He's coming around…….'
"……Please do that."
"Yes!"
……The cheer had slipped out before I could stop it.
Well, there was nothing left to be embarrassed about now.
"Wow—"
Kang I-yul let out a quiet exclamation once his hair was done.
Before I'd returned to the past, he'd emerged with shaggy brown hair like a Sapsali dog. He'd looked handsome even with that hair, of course, but the black hair gave him a distinctly different air.
'Right. Mussels ought to be black, after all.'
"I never even thought of a hairstyle like this."
After hesitating for a moment, he looked at me.
"……Thank you."
What made me happier than his words was what he did with his hands.
He clasped them together as if in prayer. He had a habit of doing that whenever he was truly happy or excited.
For no reason I could name, my chest tightened.
While I-yul was briefly away from his seat, the stylist spoke to me.
"For someone who said thank you, he seems a little too……"
"Sorry?"
"Isn't his reaction a little too calm?"
What was she talking about? Our I-yul had nearly flown into the sky just now. He'd almost sprouted puppy ears on top of his head.
"He's incredibly happy right now."
"Is he?"
"Yes."
"How can you tell?"
I smiled instead of answering.
After three years of being a Kang I-yul fan, I knew him at a glance.
***
The makeover continued with makeup.
"Pfft—"
The tickle of brushes drew stifled laughter from all around. It was funny to see everyone press their lips together, looking awkward under unfamiliar hands.
As soon as everyone was ready, the staff quickly gathered their equipment.
"We'll head straight to the profile shoot."
'Wow, they're really working us hard.'
I could feel the company's fierce determination to get its money's worth.
'Then again, it took hours just to style twenty people.'
……It was an entirely reasonable choice.
When we reached the studio, I took a moment to catch my breath.
'I-yul's first profile shoot!'
Before I'd returned to the past, I couldn't even have imagined this moment. I was going to watch the "beginning" of my favorite idol from right beside him.
My heart raced despite myself.
In the waiting room, we all changed into the same clothes: white T-shirts and jeans. That was also the biggest reason I'd insisted on black hair.
Han Sang-yun, the old hand who'd joined Nix Entertainment before anyone else, went first.
Which meant I was dead last.
'This is going to take a while.'
There was an upside, of course. I-yul's turn came soon.
The moment he stepped into the studio after getting ready—
Click—
The photographer pressed the shutter instinctively.
I-yul hadn't even posed yet.
"Wow—"
The brief exclamation rang out louder than expected. A murmur spread through the room.
His long bangs fell over his forehead, leaving just a little of it visible. Nothing about him was excessive, yet he drew every eye.
The restrained styling only brought out the splendor of his face.
The photographer smiled at the camera screen.
"This one's already a keeper."
"He's a trainee? He looks incredible on camera."
The staff nodded one after another.
"And the styling suits him so well—"
Under the flood of praise, Kang I-yul clasped his hands together, looking bashful.
I cheered silently at the sight.
'Yes. That's more like it.'
A face like his deserved a reaction like this.
Before I'd returned to the past, Kang I-yul had always received lukewarm reviews early in the survival show.
-He's handsome, sure, but is he worth all this fuss?
-His face looks so different depending on the styling—
-What does Kang I-yul even look like? I can't recognize him from one appearance to the next;;
-Does he just not photograph well? He looks incredible in person, what a waste T_T
But not now. Anyone who saw Kang I-yul as he was today would have to agree. He wasn't just handsome; he had an air about him, too.
"Just move around freely."
Click, click. The shutter never stopped.
Overwhelmed, I found myself clenching a fist.
This time, things would be different from the very start.
***
Kang I-yul's shoot ended to rave reviews. Everyone after him was the very picture of "flashy."
Bleached hair, vivid colors, curls taken too far, and accessories dangling everywhere. Even Nameless Nobodies One, Two, and Three, who'd picked a fight with me, had all ended up with hair like traffic lights, as though they'd planned it together.
"Wow—"
'At least you'll be easy to spot from a distance.'
They all glared into the camera, their whole bodies proclaiming:
'I'm an idol.'
Click, click—
I understood wanting to look cool, but excess could be as bad as too little.
The photographer's sighs grew longer, and the staff exchanged looks.
'Half of them will be kicking their blankets in embarrassment when they see these photos…….'
I quietly waited for my turn at the end.
"Last one, right? Trainee Yu Seong-woo?"
"Yes!"
At last, my name was called. It had taken a full three hours.
My nerves had faded long ago. Excited to be one step closer to going home, I walked over with a spring in my step.
But the moment I stood under the lights—
'Wow, this is…….'
My eyes narrowed on their own.
'Just keeping my eyes open is work!'
"All right, stand in the center and look straight ahead."
The photographer's instructions came without pause.
"Tuck your chin in a little—no, not that much!"
"Like this?"
"Now that's too far the other way."
And so began my silent agony.
"Relax a little, but not too much. Keep just a little tension in your fingertips—"
'What is that supposed to mean? A warm iced Americano?'
Click—
"Smile a little, but don't let your eyes close too much. Try lifting just the corners of your mouth."
I wished I could become a marionette on strings: pull every string attached to my mouth upward and loosen the ones attached to my eyes.
"Look at the camera without smiling, but put a little intensity in your eyes and keep the rest of your face relaxed—"
What else could I do? I moved as instructed. At least he wasn't sighing the way he had earlier. That alone was a relief.
Click—
The back of my neck tingled, and even my toes tensed.
"Now! That's it, right now. Hold that pose—"
But the photographer showed no sign of stopping.
The flash went off once more.
"Keep the pose, and let's try one more with a different expression."
"Yes!"
While he took a quick drink of water, I gasped for the breath I'd been holding. For the first time since the shoot began, I looked at the photographer instead of the camera. His face was flushed with excitement.
"This time, give me your biggest smile."
The photographer smiled as he spoke.
"It's fine if all your braces show."
For a moment, my mind went blank.
Smile…… widely?
"What happened? You suddenly went stiff."
"Again! Let's see a more natural smile."
That was the hardest assignment he could have given me. My facial muscles wouldn't cooperate.
'Naturally…… Naturally…….'
The problem was that even thinking about it made me unnatural.
Click—
For the first time, the shutter fell silent.
"Don't force a smile. Just think of one time you were happy."
One time I was happy. The words echoed in my head.
When I got my first commission to write a song? When a song I'd made reached number one? Plenty of moments came to mind, but I couldn't hold on to any of them clearly.
Then it happened.
Kang I-yul, now changed into his own clothes, entered my field of view.
His hand tucked his hair behind his ear out of habit.
At that moment, a memory rose to meet the sight.
It was a flower-viewing event in the provinces. Impacter was performing, and an older woman standing at the front handed I-yul a single flower.
The stage was that low and that small. She could reach him just by extending her hand.
Kang I-yul looked surprised for a moment, then accepted the flower with a bright smile. Without hesitation, he tucked it behind his ear.
I thought my breath would stop right there.
'Even at a moment like this, you shine.'
There were no dazzling lights or vast stage. Yet he shone. No—he knew how to shine.
The memory washed over me like a wave.
Click—
Before I knew it, I was smiling broadly. The smile had simply burst from somewhere inside me.
"Nice!"
The photographer's voice rose.
"That's it! That expression, right there!"
Click, click, click!
The shutter fired again and again, and I kept smiling. I wasn't looking at the camera, but at Kang I-yul beyond it.
When the photographer finally lowered his camera, people crowded around the monitor.
"Wow."
"Couldn't we release this one just as it is?"
"It came out so well."
Only then did I look at the screen too.
"……Oh."
There I was.
My face was lit by a smile wide enough to show all my braces. The feeling in it was so clear I couldn't put it into words.
It was an expression I'd never encountered, despite looking in mirrors all my life.
For a long time, I couldn't take my eyes off the screen.
'So that's what I looked like.'
I shone brilliantly.
I'd never once wondered what I looked like when I watched Kang I-yul.
My chest swelled. My throat tightened and my eyes grew hot.
Kang I-yul wasn't the only one who shone. I had shone with him in each of those moments, as I looked at him. The person on the screen proved it.
"Seong-woo, you did really well."
The photographer smiled.
"People will go wild when these photos come out."
"Exactly—I'd vote for him the moment I saw that."
Admiring voices rose around me.
But I could barely hear what they were saying. I couldn't take my eyes off the screen.
'……I see.'
At last, I thought I understood. I wasn't merely someone who'd chased a shining star. I'd looked into that light and shone alongside it, in the same moments and with the same warmth.
For the first time, I had truly seen myself.