When someone casts a Heaven Ascent, it typically requires a gesture. Something along the lines of: Two hands clasped together, fingers pressed against the forehead, two fingers folded and two held straight, or an open palm over a fist. Something unique to the caster.
I hadn’t found my gesture when my master had me practicing to perform Heaven Ascent. He’d told me the gesture wasn’t essential. I should focus on spreading out my mana and laying my soul bare.
But against the hero and again at the camp, I hadn’t needed to perform any gesture. I simply called the spell, and it came forth. Could it be because of the resonance of my soul in my magic?
“Your soul magic is unique. Most mages depend solely on mana to fuel their spells. But you have a deeper resource pool,” my master had told me. “A soul as fuel is eternal… if used carefully.”
Yelling draws me from my focus.
“What are you talking about? We all saw that! She did it right in front of us!” Rakel. Apparently she survived my Carnal Haze.
“No, she didn’t. The spell failed.” The hero.
“You’re saying she cast it against you in the palace?” The purple healer.
“Yes. And… I’ve never seen a Heaven Ascent like it. It wasn’t like mine. It was like a… painting. Gorgeous.”
Gorgeous? The word lingers in my head. Did she really think that? Of my magic?
I’m vaguely aware of my bindings as I wake. I’m tied up in a sheet. Beneath me is the stump of a tree. I open my eyes slowly, finding Rakel, the purple woman, and the hero before me. They’re all facing away from me. The hero is still wearing that strip of cloth and heavy trousers.
At my back is the faint rushing of water. Beyond the trio is the collection of tents.
“But, even though it made her stronger. It was killing her at the same time.”
“I wonder why she’s kept such a powerful spell under wraps,” the purple woman asks. “She’s fought us dozens of times and it’s usually just those annoying gold flames. A painting, huh? Sounds nice.”
“Don’t compliment her, Pepper!” Rakel snaps.
“I mean, your Heaven Ascent is just mud. Maybe you’re jealous.”
“It’s strong mud!”
“Besides,” the hero chimes in. “A Heaven Ascent is someone’s deepest self put on display. And hers was pure gold. Literally. That has to stand for something.”
“Heaven Ascents aren’t that special,” Rakel snaps.
“What?” Pepper blurts. “How many people do you know who can cast Heaven Ascent? I can count all of you on one hand!”
“It’s probably a last resort,” the hero says. “She was willing to die for the demon lord.”
“And you had to save her?” Rakel groans. The front of her armor is scorched but she looks otherwise fine. That Carnal Haze wasn’t as powerful as I’d thought. That or Rakel was tougher than I’d accounted for.
“Come on, Drya! You never think things like this through!!”
“I mean…” the purple woman prods Rakel in the side. “You tried to kill us, too.”
“That was a long time ago!”
I shift in the sheet, finding my hands bound in rope. No good.
“I couldn’t let her die,” the hero says. “Not when I could do something. She was so…” she shakes her head. “Watching her destroy herself like that. It reminded me of my life before I came here.”
The purple woman wraps an arm around the hero and puts her head on the woman’s shoulder.
Even Rakel’s expression seems to soften.
“I’m not saying I forgive her,” the hero says. “But you have to understand. This is everything I stand for. This is what we stand for. Why kill when we have a better option?”
“You’re gonna give some of your soul to every sad sack you come across?” Rakel grumbles.
“If I can, I would love to.”
I clear my throat.
All three women turn to me.
“Hey,” the purple woman, presumably Pepper, says. She leans close to me as she does. “Did the Demon Lord teach you to cast Heaven Ascent?”
I would spit in her face if my mouth wasn’t dry. I’m parched and my stomach is tearing itself up.
“All this time,” Pepper says. “I thought you were a third class mage. But with fire power like that. You could give me a run for my money!” She’s frustratingly bubbly about this revelation.
“Let me go,” I say, deciding not to address her nonsense.
“Body. Soul. Mind. All three need to be in harmony to cast a World Class spell, especially a Heaven Ascent. That’s probably why you failed to kill all of us,” Pepper says.
“You ready to talk?” The hero asks.
“No. I will cast the Heaven Ascent again.”
Rakel scoffs.
“Went so well for you the first time,” she chides.
“Your magic,” the hero says. “As it stands now, your soul isn’t strong enough to support it. Trying to cast Heaven Ascent will just drain you.”
I glare at her, flaring my nostrils.
“And,” the hero adds, raising a hand. “I bet you didn’t notice this.” She pinches herself in the wrist.
At first, I’m not sure what point she’s making. Then I notice it. The faint prick on my wrist. We’re more linked than I realized.
“Why…” I growl, fighting a tremble in my bones. “What hatred do you have for me that you would curse me this way?”
“How about this,” Rakel says, stepping forward. “Hollow core.” A ball of green energy bursts into life in her hand. “I’ll kill you and Drya gets her soul back.”
“I don’t think that’s how it works,” Drya says, catching Rakel’s shoulder. “Weren’t you paying attention? We share sensations. Chances are, if she dies…”
Rakel pales.
“Drya!” She bellows. “Damn it all!”
I narrow my eyes. They must assume I am unable to cast the Heaven Ascent. They’re under the assumption that I require a gesture to perform. But I don’t.
‘Burn, Aerida.’ My master had instructed me when I first performed Heaven Ascent for him. It was sloppy and half-formed, then. But he seemed impressed.
I will cast it again. And again. And again. Until it works, or I am nothing.
“Oh,” Pepper says. Her eyes gleam, stars dancing within them. “She’s using mana.”
Rakel and the hero tense. Rakel’s spell fizzles out.
I catch her eyes and my body stiffens. Something is wrong.
“Sorry,” Pepper drawls. “I’ve got my eyes on you. And…” she raises one of her arms, and I realize that it ends in a flat stump. “My hand is inside you.”
“What?” My gaze flickers to my bound body, searching for any sign of her hand.
“Not physically,” Pepper says, waving the stump. “Think of it sort of like possession. My hand has become incorporeal and is sharing space with your physical form. Bottom line is: I can control your mana flow. You won’t be casting any spells on my watch. Not after that show this morning.”
“Will you cut the jabbering?” Rakel grumbles. “Don’t need to explain it to her.”
Pepper gives me a smile.
“What kind of warriors are you?” I say through a heavy rasp. “You torment my mind and mock my love. Why? What sick satisfaction does this give you?”
The hero sighs and runs a hand through her hair.
“We’ll have to see what Aluerme thinks of this,” Rakel says. “She won’t like it, that’s for sure.”
“Iris is fetching her,” the hero says, lowering her gaze to the ground. “Be warned, Aerida. I may take a beating when Aluerme gets here.”
“Hero,” I say. “Stop using my name so carelessly. Or I will cut out your tongue.”
Rakel shakes her head.
“You did this,” she says, jabbing the hero in the back. Now that I’m paying attention, I feel it. The contact on my back.
Not long later, a group of woman approach from the camp. They’re all wearing similar leather armor. None wear anything like the heavy armor the hero usually wears.
In the lead is a tall woman with blonde hair streaked with gray. It sits loosely on her shoulders. The other woman gather behind her, armed with swords and spears.
Rakel and Pepper gather behind the hero.
“I don’t like this,” she says, giving me a needling look. Her eyes shimmer as if buried behind a layer of moonlight.
I glare up at her.
“I can explain,” the hero says. “Lady Aluerme. Please.”
“I can see what has come to be,” Aluerme says. “Your soul has fragmented. This is precarious, Olexandrya. You have made what could be a fatal error.”
Olexandrya? The name sticks to my head. I’d subconsciously rejected the silly word the hero’s allies referred to her as.
Drya didn’t sound worthy of the power she held and the destruction I knew her capable of.
“What do you mean?” The hero—Olexandrya’s voice is small. “I know what I’ve done.”
“But you don’t know the cost,” Aluerme snaps, and anger spills across her face. “This woman’s loyalty to the demon lord is her undoing. She would kill herself to destroy that soul you’ve given her.”
“Can we undo it?” Rakel pipes up, grabbing the hero’s arm.
“A soul fractured cannot be cleanly restored,” Aluerme says. “But the separated part can be returned.”
“How?” Pepper asks.
“It’s incredibly difficult and usually requires a complicated ritual.”
Aluerme reaches into her robes and produces a long, straight dagger.
“A soul carver,” Pepper gasps. “I thought Drya destroyed the last one.”
“I preserved one. In case you ever went rogue, Olexandrya.” She turns the blade, and it glimmers in the dull daylight.
I track the blade as she raises it. This is it.
“With this, it’s simple. One cut with this and you can steal the fragment of your soul from her body and return it you. It will remain fragmented, but it will be yours again. It does not need to be a fatal cut. Only enough to draw blood, and the blade will do the rest.”
I breathe slowly. The implication is clear. This will return me to what I was before the hero forced her soul into me. A corpse.
The hero’s eyes are wide. They pass over me for a moment before meeting Aluerme’s.
“That easily?”
“Just like that,” Aluerme says. “This can be undone.” She turns the blade, offering the handle to the hero. “We cannot have you in this weakened state. Kill her.”
A gentle wind picks up, and mist from the river scatters in the air.
The hero takes the dagger with a trembling hand, and her eyes set upon me. I can vaguely feel the pressure in my hands and the worn leather.
“Drya…” Pepper speaks, but doesn’t move. There’s a fear in her voice.
It’s Rakel who steps forward, catching the hero by her exposed shoulder.
“Wait,” Rakel says. “I’ll do it. I’ll kill her and house the fragment in myself.” She looks to Aluerme. “That’ll work, right? Since I have my own soul?”
Aluerme gives a slight nod.
“Yes. Since you have a soul of your own. Olexandrya can cut you and take the fragment from your body without killing you. But I will not allow it.”
“What?” Rakel whirls on the woman, face twisted with fury.
“This is a reckoning Olexandrya has called upon herself. She must be the one.”
“You’re just making it worse!” Pepper yells. “You stupid crone!”
The woman who’d beaten me with a spear breaks rank and storms over to Pepper, catching her by the mouth.
“Don’t speak so carelessly at Lady Aluerme!” the woman growls.
“You people came to my coalition to fight a war,” Aluerme says. “The war is at its peak. The demon lord is running. But he is not dead. She is a tool he is able and willing to use. Kill her.”
I withdraw my attention from the growing unrest and prioritize the woman before me.
Olexandrya.
I can’t ignore it. The raw anguish chewing at my insides. But I know it isn’t mine. It’s hers. It’s her foolish pride ripping her apart.
“Why did you do it?” I ask. “What did you think would come of it? Of extending my life beyond reason. Did you expect undying loyalty? Perhaps me to betray my master’s trust? I owe everything to him.”
Olexandrya’s head sinks, darkening as her gaze meets mine.
“This is my role,” I say. “This is what I am. I will die. And if you allow it, I will tear you down with me. It is fact.”
Wetness trails down her face. Her arms tighten, the muscles bulging.
“Do it!” Aluerme snaps.
“Do it,” I echo.
Olexandrya doesn’t move.
I meet Aluerme’s eyes. There’s a flash of recognition there. Then, she turns to Pepper.
“You,” Aluerme says. “Release her from your magic.”
“What?” Pepper and Rakel both bluster the word.
“She’ll try to cast Heaven Ascent again if I do that!” Pepper yells, shoving past the spear wielder.
“Iris.”
The spear wielder—Iris—strikes in an instant. A blow delivered to the back of Pepper’s head. Pepper crumples to the ground.
“Pepper!” Rakel rushes at Iris.
I watch Pepper’s arm, which had previously ended in a stump, grow back into a proper hand. Which means… mana flows freely within me. It bursts like river water through a broken dam, blowing my restrains apart. I land on my feet, naked and staggering forward.
Olexandrya flinches back, eyes wide.
Iris and Rakel clash, fist and staff meeting. Wood shatters, and Iris is blown off her feet.
Pepper pushes off the ground, raising a hand towards me. But something about the desperate look on her face tells me she won’t be fast enough.
“Kill her, now! Olexandrya!” Aluerme demands. “Before she kills us all!”
I understood exactly what Aluerme was planning when we locked eyes. She wants to force Olexandrya’s hand. To give her no other option.
Olexandrya has realized as well. Her eyes burn with panic as she meets my gaze.
The world moves. Mana swirls around us. My hair whips in my face.
All of us will play our roles. Finally, I will die. But it doesn’t feel right.
I’ve never been fooled by my master. I’ve always known that his desires meant endless death and violence. It didn’t matter to me, not really. Because he was the only one in this world who looked at me and saw something of value. Even if that value were something to be used. I was okay with that. But…
If my master were here, I know what he would want. Cast Heaven Ascent. Do as much damage as possible or die trying.
That’s what Aluerme wants as well. She wants me to sanitize myself into a blatant threat for her hero to slaughter. I shouldn’t have a problem with it. It’s all that I am.
‘Burn, Aerida.’ My master’s words ring like distant bells in my mind.
Maybe it’s Olexandrya’s emotions flowing through me. Maybe it’s some near death mania. Maybe it’s a debt.
When I threw everything I had at that hero in that courtyard, I didn’t wish for it to kill her. I knew very well that the hero’s strength was far beyond my own. I wanted her to see the depth of my love and remember. She saw those depths and called them gorgeous.
Olexandrya is the reason I was allowed to live long enough to hear that word. To consider its meaning. Even if for a moment.
I don’t give Olexandrya the chance to strike. And I don’t cast Heaven Ascent. I fling myself forward and impale myself on her blade. As long as the blade works, this should be fine. I will die and Olexandrya will get her soul.
Even if it’s just to repay that meager debt. The debt of being seen so wholly.