It was easy to tell strangers things, hard to tell people you knew, fortunately, I had little clue about this queen other than what I had learned last night.
Is that bad? Some people get mad at me for logging ‘time known’ as a relationship stat. It’s an elucidating variable in my opinion.
Being completely disconnected from the world was a gift however. I had no knowledge of the royal family. However from a dim understanding of families in the past world, I could not say if my disconnection was a blessing or a curse.
“You sure you want to know? They are pretty weird, and there are so many I have failed to remember.”
“Tell me one! Before I read more mail.”
The story in the old world was that important people were busy. I had never believed it, yet the story remained in my mind. I judged the royal couple, of which I was a member, for our young twenties laziness. In another world we would be in college collecting debt, or unemployed living with family. Was it irresponsible for us to manage a country? A kingdom? How bad was this war going to go?
I transposed in my mind my queen into the twenty first century. I supposed I wouldn’t fear her so much in the old world. Even if I still wouldn’t trust her.
“Well, one of the first ones I remember I was a frog and I fled a snake.”
“A nightmare? O lion you are such a restless sleeper.”
“You would not believe the histories I have dreamed.” I was thinking of how Edison had died young, trying to farm his sleep for dreams. I continued with my dream that I yet remembered.
“Perhaps I was not a frog, but I followed the adventures of a frog, the frog hopped and swam across the river but the snake followed. The frog climbed the tree and the snake followed, the frog ventured across many backgrounds, jungles, forests, oceans, eventually the frog made it to the mountain. And nearly lost the snake, but then there it was, a spit roast over fire. Mice were cooking a lizard. Somehow this was more horrifying than the snake.”
The queen nodded, it was sweet the way she paid attention to me, I had missed this attention.
“Well, I, or the frog, whoever was driving, well we retired to the river, and even as the snake pursued we made peace with it.”
“Was there anything else?”
“Well I had the dream so long ago, I’ve been able to think about it too much perhaps I hope I remember it right.”
“You woke up without being eaten?”
“I think so, perhaps the snake got fat eating others and quit chasing me, perhaps it was because it ate me, I don’t remember how it ended. It seemed less like a dream and more like a puppet show or something.”
“Some puppet show, maybe it would be popular with children. You should tell that story to my nephews.”
“Well it was popular with me, I tried to tell many of my tutors of it. You are the first to listen to the entire dream.”
“Really? None listened when the lion roared?”
I looked at her, perhaps my face revealed my suspicions.
“My lion, you speak quietly, it is unbecoming of a king, all should hear your words.”
I laughed from my belly, loudly. “Forgive me my queen but our dreams are private matters are they not!? Shall I reveal to all my superstitions and fears!?”
“You know what I mean.” She snipped, now quieter, playing at submission and annoyance.
I was not amusing her, she was leading and it seemed she didn’t like it.
This was why I was a nerd in my past life, I didn’t like these games. Worse than violence, speaking of violence… that was something all respected.
“My queen, though I can read, speak, how did I become so… healthy? Forgive me, but I remember being of a different build.”
“My king I do not know every intimate part of your life! Nor do I know what you remember.”
“Well O dove, nor do I. If you can’t tell me, perhaps you can tell me of this sunlit orb…”
“Well you spend much of your time riding and jousting and swinging your prized collection of weapons in peacetime. When you are not eating at least.”
She didn’t tell me about the orb,
I pondered the orb. The cool spring air that my furs and leathers insulated me against. As well as why my queen would change the subject on me… was I overthinking this? I hadn’t had an official girlfriend in more than twelve years and I rather disliked now the critter I was back then.
“Do you ponder often this orb?” I asked.
She ignored me and opened some mail. Presumably hoping I would return to the masculine distractions of violence.
The solar orb seemed warm, it gave off a burning heat, heat too powerful for my skin. Was it wise to grab magic orbs? Probably not, but surely a world built for medieval primitives, they had perhaps not invented safety standards but surely the handling of an orb, well, perhaps it could scar me for life, but so kings were supposed to be.
I was always a shallow person, I liked attention, and I wasn’t getting it from this woman. But I could justify this by my ‘amnesia.’
Had no gloves but actions spoke louder than words. Perhaps…
I slipped out of my boots, and putting one on each hand, I grabbed the orb. The room went dark and a wild and directionless burst of flame burst forth from the orb. I nearly dropped it and managed to catch it in between the two boots I had slipped my arms into.
“What are you doing!?” The queen screamed and batted quickly at a few letters which had burst into flames, most of the letters scattered across the room. It occurred to me that the open semi-external style of the top of the tower was not windproof.
Or at least not visibly. It seemed the letters were not drawn to fly outside as I would have otherwise expected.
“This is not normal fire is it?” I asked, feeling the pulsing heat of the orb through the leather boots. I could feel a metal studding pattern embedded in the leather. Underneath the skin. Must have been a fun pair of boots to make.
“Why would you do that!?!?” The Dove’s voice was shrill.
“This thing seems much more powerful than the swords on my wall. How does it work?” A part of me wanted sunglasses. I feared the sun, that magnifying glass of God that cooked the Arizona dust bowl. This orb was pleasant enough to look at, the light was a soft imitation of the real sun. A deeper more powerful glow than a halogen, yet impressively quiet and friendly to look at.
“My king… you needn’t worry of such things!” Her voice was defeated.
“Surely you can tell me of it though.”
“That is the Radiant Orb of Sunlight.”
“Well that goes without saying.”
I wanted to squeeze it, but its smooth glass exterior threatened to jump from my undextrous grip.
“You look quite the fool, put it back!” My Queen ordered.
“Does this go on your staff?” I stubbornly pondered OUR orb.
“It is beyond the tangible realms. Where it goes is not strictly material in reality. Please put it back.”
This was tolerable information. But I would need more.
“ROS? For short? SORB?” I needled.
“I am going to cry! I have married a fool!” My queen protested.
Dogs had trained me in this same manner. I gave the poor women an out. “Do I put us in danger handling this device?”
“It is more than simple machine! And Yes!” The Dove’s nervous voice sounded resigned.
“Please, when an old lazy lion ask a question, it is for everyone’s good that it is answered.” I gently put the orb back onto its little pedestal. I felt a little bad, but that was how the past world had beaten me down.
It slipped back into the sunbeam as if magnetic.
“You made your point you clown.” My queen was cold. “If you were not the king well… you might not be anymore.”
I pondered if I should have just stolen the orb and left to go live vagabond. Surely selling this little sun bauble thing could have bought me a decent dark age life. Was I still the alienated labor bug wearing human skin I was in my past life? Did my queen think so?
No I was paranoid, I had probably just licked the fantasy equivalent of plutonium. Maybe I was already dead.
“What kind of danger? Can we not relax?” I stuck my hand in the sunbeam reaching the orb. It gently vibrated on the pedestal.
“It’s a fire hazard.” The Dove responded.
“Is it not a king’s place to understand?”
“No it’s not your place.”
“Is it forbidden for a king to understand?”
“Maybe if I wrote the rules.”
“Forgive me, O Dove, I seek the rules. I did not mean to injure us.”
“You sought to frighten me… you always do this!” Was she controlling her voice? Or was it genuinely breaking. “I… I never wanted…” oh no, was she allergic to stress? Was I going to make my pretty queen cry? Or were these crocodile tears?
Misanthropy was so much easier than people.
“Don’t be sad, slow and steady wins the race…”
“Slow and steady wins the race… heh… is that from a dream?” The words seemed to amuse the women.
“You have not heard it before?” I asked.
“No…”
“Well maybe if I learn a little more about this world I am lost in I can tell you the story of how slow and steady wins the race.”
“Ok!” Suddenly the queen was happy again.
If this really was a chess board a queen trade might not be a bad idea, if only for my sanity.