-Hestia-
God’s Banquet. It was a ‘small’ event, usually organized by High-class Familias, or in some cases, by Middle-class ones that felt particularly frugal with their money.
In this case, it was evidently the former, if the giant fountain in the form of a masked pink elephant resting in the middle of the room was anything to go by.
‘’Welcome, everyone… I AM GANESHA!’’ A tall, burly man of caramel skin, wearing a pink elephant mask, shouted from a balcony, his arms extended high as if to praise the sun. ‘’I thank you all of you for coming! Let today be another good celebration in memory of Spring’s coming and start for the Monsterphilia!’’
This time, it was done by the Ganesha Familia, because the Monsterphilia was about to start in just a few days.
Gods and Goddesses pranced and chatted around the massive saloon. Some shared a few drinks, others competed with each other, showing off the accomplishments of their respective children, and there were even some that were trying to ‘get a partner’ so to speak.
Hestia? Well…
‘Ahh, so tasty~!’ The petite Goddess was at the food table. Currently picking away at tasty things. It was called a Banquet, after all, was it not? ‘I need to save some for my children. But where do I hide them? I forgot to bring a bag or tupperware!’
Unlike previous Banquets, Hestia wasn’t shamelessly stuffing her face. With the help of Roy, Bell, and Midna, her economic situation was more than fine for hearty, daily meals, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t indulge from time to time under the pretense of carrying some of these tasty treats back home.
‘’Are these from Demeter’s bakery…?’’ Asked Hestia, picking up a cupcake while trying not to drool all over the fine tablecloth. ‘’Ah, that sister of mine really makes the tastiest treats. Well then, thanks so much—‘’ Click.
Hestia went rigid as her teeth clacked together. Instead of biting into a tasty, delicious, cream-covered pastry, she almost bit her own tongue!
‘’Who—Oh.’’ Her gaze turned to the side, annoyance bleeding into a fouler scowl. ‘’It’s you.’’
‘’Hee? If it isn’t Hestia-shrimp.’’ An annoying, smug voice said. The owner was none other than a redhead with lidded eyes dressed in a one-piece, strapless black dress who had just stolen her pastry! ‘’Though, I guess it’s not that surprising to see you at the food table. Have to keep those fat bags somehow, right?’’
‘’Loki.’’ Hestia spat the name like it was venom, her azure eyes focusing on the Trickster’s closed ones. A tiny, sharp grin formed on her face. ‘’You really think so? Then don’t worry and eat as many cupcakes as you need… no-boobs-Loki.’’
‘’Gah!’’ She recoiled as if struck, dropping the cupcake back on the table like it burned her hand. ‘’Why you…! At least I’m dressed for the occasion! Where did you get that dress, the discount store?’’
Hestia, instead of her usual white, string-tied dress, wore a sky-blue piece. A good portion of cleavage was accentuated with frills of a lighter tone, and straps on her forearms to keep it all together. It all came down to a skirt with many of the same frills, and she even put on black stockings and proper heels instead of sandals!
While not the fanciest, and probably much cheaper than whatever titless-Loki was wearing, there was an undeniable truth that Hestia bet the trickster didn’t share.
‘’Hmm, you think so, huhu…?’’ The Goddess of the Hearth said smugly, drawing a confused frown from her so-called ‘rival’. ‘’I made sure to ask my dear children how it looked on me, and they gave me plenty of praise… My little Bell couldn’t stop staring and flushing~’’
Sure, part of those praises may have been Midna’s hollering and Roy’s blatant ogling, but Hestia found that… She didn’t really mind much. In fact, the memory does make a bit of heat rise to her cheeks—No, focus, Hestia! You’re still fighting here!
But there wasn’t much of a fight going on.
Loki clutched her chest as if she were having a heart attack or trying to hide her breastless shame. Her other hand rested on the table to support her as Hestia’s words struck her flat.
There was simply no significant comeback out of this. After all, someone with Loki’s pervy antics would never get genuine, heartfelt praise from her female familia members.
‘Especially since none of them are as cute as my Bell. Hm, hm!’ Hestia’s chest puffed in pride, which had the bonus effect of making Loki practically keel over.
‘’Oh, it seems those two are at it again.’’
‘’Big-boobs-Hestia vs no-boobs-Loki!’’
‘’Hey, shut it. What if the flatboard hears you? Do you want to deal with the Braver?’’
‘’But it seems the fight is already coming to an end, fufufu~’’
Loki’s face, red with embarrassment and set into a scowl, looked her up and down before clicking her tongue. ‘’…You win this time, idiot Hestia-shrimp. But I’ll have my revenge!’’
‘’Sure you will~’’ Hestia crossed her arms under her bust, causing Loki to heave drily. ‘’When you grow a pair like these, maybe!’’
‘’Why you…!’’
‘’My, are you two at it again, Loki, Hestia?’’
The entire saloon quieted down except for the soft echo of pointy heels against the floor.
A single Goddess of silver hair walked right to the table. Dressed in a white V-cut dress that did very little to hide her figure. Her purple eyes enchanted anyone that she locked eyes with, even if she dismissed them a second later with a tiny smile.
Her presence brought the attention and whispers of every God and Goddess present. Almost all of the former, and part of the latter, were completely mesmerized by her beauty.
After all, It was said that the reason she covered her face around mortal men was that her beauty was so grand that it would instantly charm anyone who took a proper look at it.
Hestia didn’t know about that, but she really couldn’t come up with another adjective that wasn’t ‘beautiful’ for this Goddess.
‘’Freya.’’ Loki said with a hum. One of her lidded eyes opened fully. ‘’Thought you stopped attending these types of events since… you know.’’
They did know. Especially one Goddess of sun-kissed skin on the back corner. Her beautiful face morphed into a scowl as the men she had around all turned their heads to the Goddess of Love, causing her to storm out silently.
‘’Oh, well… It is troublesome, but I thought I would drop by.’’ Freya chuckled. Her robes moved softly as she took hold of the cupcake that Loki had dropped—and stolen!—earlier. ‘’Monsterphilia is an event that has always drawn my attention, you know? So, when I got Ganesha’s invitation, I just couldn’t say no, fufu.’’
‘’That so?’’ Loki hummed.
‘’Indeed…’’ The smiling Goddess turned to her next. ‘’Ah, Hestia, how rude of me… How have you been? Heard from some of my children that you finally moved out. What joyous news!’’
‘Just how bored do your children need to be to know about my home situation?!’ Hestia kept a tight smile, ignoring the roll of sweat on the back of her head. ‘’It’s… been alright. Motivated children really are one heck of a thing. I have them to thank and nobody else.’’
The Goddess giggled, covering her lips with the back of her hand. ‘’On that much, we can certainly agree~’’
‘’Speaking of…’’ Loki butted in, turning to her with a suspicious expression. ‘’Oi, shrimp, what’s with that oddball child of yours? Roy, was it? It wasn’t enough for him to make Bete spiral down into drinking for whatever reason, but he’s trying to seduce my Tiona!’’
Hestia blinked. ‘...Seduce?’
‘’And don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talking about!’’ Loki’s index finger rested inches away from her face. Hestia resisted the urge to bite, but she did frown. ‘’What? Is he assembling a little harem of sorts? I’m not letting him take my Tiona away, you hear?! None of my precious beauties, never, never, never!’’
Hestia smacked the finger away with a scowl. For some reason, Loki’s words brought an ugly feeling to her chest. ‘’Stop speaking nonsense! Roy has… um… Well, he’s a shameless child, but it’s your Tiona that keeps visiting. Not my fault she fell for my child’s charms!’’
The second Roy told Hestia that one of Loki’s executives knew about his Monster-taming powers, she wanted to strangle him.
She had to, at least, play along!
‘’I knew it!’’ Loki puffed up her nonexistent chest. ‘’He put her under some kind of spell, didn’t he? Undo it right now, or I swear to the Heavens, I’ll drag you into a war game!’’
‘’Stop saying stupid things. Even if a spell like that existed, my Roy is Level One, and your Crusher is Level Five!’’
‘’So?!’’ Loki threw her hands in the air, scandalized. ‘’That ‘Level One’ out-drank one of my Level Fives, and Bete had Abnormal Resistance to boot! At this point, I’ll believe anything’s possible!’’
‘’That doesn’t prove anything!’’ Hestia shot back. ‘’It just proves your children make terrible life choices.’’
‘’Oi! Only I get to say that about my children!’’
‘’Well, maybe it’s just, uh…’’ Hestia pursed her lips, eyes drifting for a second as she remembered some of Roy and Midna’s chatter. Then, slowly, a grin spread from ear to ear. ‘’Maybe it’s just a skill issue?’’
Loki froze, right eye twitching.
‘’Haa?!’’ she barked, recoiling as if Hestia had physically slapped her. ‘’What the hell does that even mean?!’’
‘’It means what it means, no-boobs-Loki.’’ Hestia, in a completely mature manner, blew the trickster a raspberry.
‘’Why you—’’
Loki cut herself off with an aggravated growl, dragging both hands down her face before glaring through her fingers. ‘’I’m serious, Hestia. If he’s messing with Tiona’s head, I’ll make him regret it. Level One or not.’’
The words were still ridiculous, but Hestia caught the genuine edge beneath the whining. For all her nonsense, Loki really did care about her children.
That didn’t mean Hestia was about to back down.
‘’And I’m serious too,’’ she said, planting her hands on her hips. ‘’Roy didn’t cast anything on anyone. If Tiona likes him, then maybe she just likes him. Have you considered that possibility? Or is that too much common sense for you to handle at this banquet?’’
Loki stared at her, deeply offended. ‘’…I hate it when you sound reasonable.’’
Hestia beamed. ‘’Then I’ll treasure this moment forever.’’
Freya looked back and forth and merely chuckled. If the two Goddesses had just paid attention to her, they would have noticed her purple eyes shining briefly and the conspicuous grin on her face.
Softly, she clapped her hands. ‘’My… settle down, you two. This is a celebration, after all. Besides, isn’t it a wonderful thing when two souls merge together with love?’’ This story is hosted at novelping.com.
Loki’s head snapped back to Freya, paling profusely. ‘’Don’t even joke with that! And don’t you dare start playing matchmaker. I know what you are, Freya!’’
‘’Hm? I couldn’t possibly know what you mean…’’ She hummed.
‘’Don’t play coy, you love-obsessed freak!’’ Loki shrieked, turning fully to the woman.
‘This is my chance!’ Hestia cheered internally as she slowly stepped away from the bickering. Her eyes widened in realization as the Goddess of Love waved discreetly at her. ‘…I didn’t think I’d ever say this, but thank you, Freya!’
Now out of danger, Hestia tried to lose herself amongst the crowd of Deities. There was one specific reason she had come to this banquet, after all, but no matter how hard she looked, it seemed the redhead just hadn’t attended!
‘Come on, come on… Don’t tell me you decided to stay in that forge of yours…!’ Hestia lost hope every second that went by. Until finally, she spotted her, away from the party and indulging in a glass of wine. ‘Aha!’
Hephaestus, dressed in a long, red, one-piece dress. Her red hair was stylized in a wild mess of red locks, and one of her eyes was covered by a black eyepatch.
The Goddess’s lone eye looked around, bored, until it landed on Hestia, causing her to frown.
‘’Heeeey, Hephaestus~’’ Hestia called out.
‘’…Why you again?’’ The Goddess of the Forge sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose.
‘’Eh?! Is that any way to talk to your aunt?!’’ Hestia was immediately floored, pouting at the much taller Goddess. ‘’…It’s been such a long while since we talked, and—‘’
‘’I’m not lending you any money.’’ She said flatly.
‘’It’s not about that!’’
‘’Not letting you crash on my place either.’’
‘’It’s not that either! I’ll have you know, I have a Familia of my own now, with three children who have gone above and beyond to let us have a nice living!’’ Hestia scowled, genuine annoyance settling on her face.
Seeing that, Hephaestus's features finally softened. In fact, a smile appeared on her face. ‘’Well… they do say Gods change once they get a Familia of their own. It’s good to hear that you’re doing well, Hestia.’’
The petite Goddess smiled. ‘’I know! They are wonderful, if a bit… eccentric.’’
‘’Well, then.’’ Placing her glass down, Hepheastus raised an eyebrow. ‘’What’s this about, then? You have an odd look on your face that I know very well, ‘aunt’.’’
Hestia’s proud grin turned sheepish. ‘’Well… I actually have a favor I wanted to ask.’’
The redhead sighed. ‘’…I knew it.’’
‘’But it’s not what you think!’’ Hestia whisper-shouted. Looking around her to make sure nobody was listening in. ‘’It’s… different. These children of mine… I want to help them. So, please hear me out, Hephaestus!’’
Hestia didn’t know if it was the genuine call for help in her voice or the tight bond she had with the Forge Goddess. However, the woman looked down at her, then sighed in resignation.
‘’Very well…’’ She said. ‘’Let’s get out of here. I was getting kind of bored anyway. I have plenty of children of my own, so I bet it’s just a small freakout.’’
-X-x-X-
It was not, indeed, a small freakout.
After leaving the party and changing into something more casual, Hestia followed Hephaestus all the way to her home and forge, where she presented Roy and Bell’s status sheets.
And it was safe to say, the Forge Goddess was stumped.
‘’Oi, Hestia. You’re messing with me, aren’t you?’’ Hephaestus looked at the papers once, twice, and thrice for good measure before turning to her with a wide eye. ‘’I never took you as one of pranks, but you have been around Loki for long enough…’’
Hestia sighed and settled down in a chair in front of Hephaestus’ desk. ‘’…No, Hephy. I am not joking. These are the status Sheets from two days ago.’’
Ever since that… War-Shadow woman had entered their lives. All of her three—now four?—children had been constantly going down to the Dungeon, and while Roy had somewhat slowed down, Bell kept bringing outrageous numbers every day.
‘’…Hestia.’’ Her niece singled out Bell’s paper, pointing at it with a serious frown. ‘’This one specifically. You had her for all over two weeks. This is the status of someone who's had their Falna for at least a year, and even that would be amazing progress. Your other child isn’t far behind this either!’’
‘’I know!’’ Hestia claimed, hands against her face. ‘’It’s all the fault of those stupid Skills! I haven’t even told those two that they have something like this!’’
The situation had both of them stumped. Even Hephaestus, as long as her Familia had been standing, had never seen cases like her children.
It filled her with as much pride as it did dread!
‘’…You’ll have to tell them. You know that, right?’’ Said the woman seriously.
‘’Will I?’’ Hestia rebuked, pursing her lips. Her fists tightened against the wooden desk even as she locked eyes with the other Goddess. ‘’I… I want to guarantee their safety more than anything. Do I really need to…?’’
‘’It’s not just that, is it?’’ Hephaestus interrupted, making her freeze. ‘’I can hear it in your voice, Hestia. You’re scared.’’
She bit down on her lip.
‘’…Are you sure you’re not a mind-reading Goddess?’’ She asked, all mirth and joy gone from her tone.
‘’Hestia—‘’
‘’I know. I’m not denying it.’’ She cut off with a frown. ‘’I… I’m scared that they may think they would be better off with a Goddess more competent than me. I can’t afford them any of the resources that they need to accompany this absurd growth, Hephaestus.’’
The Forge Goddess nodded in understanding. Hesitantly, she reached out for one of Hestia’s hands lying on the desk and gave it a gentle pat. ‘’The fact that you worry so much about them is already proof enough of your care, Hestia. I bet they know that, too.’’
‘’But that doesn’t change the fact, does it?’’ She rebuked flatly, causing her niece to wince. ‘’Good intentions don’t give them better weapons, gear, or potions. They have been in the Dungeon short of two weeks, and—freak accident as they may be—faced a Minotaur and came back severely injured. Roy almost died.’’
The implication hung in the air, weighing more than any of the tools inside Hephaestus's forgery.
What about next time? They could somewhat rely on Midna and her strange abilities to even out the odds, but every day they got closer and closer to Level Two was a day that their entire gear may need a replacement.
What if, somehow, some other, shadier Familia finds out and wants to pressure them into leaving her, or, much worse, decides to… take them out?
Orario may not be in that free-for-all era that she heard so much about, back during the reign of the Hera and Zeus Familias, but there were plenty of shady individuals if you opened your eyes and looked around.
The desk creaked under Hestia’s grip. An awful scowl settled on her face for no longer than a second, and the office-forge heated up before going completely cold again.
‘’That’s why…’’ Hestia got up from her seat. Hephaestus watched her with an attentive, unsure gaze, which quickly turned to shock as she got on her knees. ‘’…Just this once.’’
Slam!
Forehead against the ground, as were her palms, Hestia adopted a full dogeza, ignoring the pain rocking her head; she kept her eyes on the floor and begged.
‘’Please help me out, Hephaestus!’’
Silence took place. If Hestia were to look up, she would see the conflict on the niece’s face. It was not every day that a God bowed profusely to another. The last time was Miach asking for a prosthetic from Dian Cecht, and that was the talk of several Denatus much later down the line.
To think a God could be so cruel to their own son… It made her heart tremble with rage!
Unlike that awful Healing God, Hephaestus wasn’t nearly as greedy or heartless, but the fact remained that this was a heavy ask. Maybe even heavier than what Miach did.
‘’Hestia… I can’t just—‘’
‘’I’ll repay it completely! Out of my own pocket, too! I wouldn’t let my children pay for a debt like this.’’ Hestia reassured, panic seeping into her tone as she bowed impossibly lower. ‘’But… I just don’t know what else to do. Please, Hephy…’’
She hated using that nickname to beg for something like this. But what other choice was there?
Look at her, one of the so-called ‘Big Gods’, begging on the ground like a dog. It was pathetic, but she didn’t care at all. The Underworld would birth life before she let her children go down again without proper equipment.
So, Hestia remained still for what felt like entire hours.
‘’…Haa.’’ A sigh escaped the Forge Goddess. ‘’Get up, Hestia.’’
She raised her head slightly, just enough to catch a glimpse of the woman’s resigned expression as she massaged her own neck.
‘’What? Do you expect me to do all the work?’’ The woman stated flatly before gesturing to her forge. ‘’You’re going to help, too. Be ready, this can take more than an entire day.’’
‘’Wait… You’re personally taking the job?!’’ Hestia got up completely, practically jumping to her feet as her face contorted in shock.
‘’Those freak-children of yours would probably outgrow anything that my children could make in a week.’’ Hephaestus snorted. ‘’I wouldn’t even involve them in private matters like this anyway.’’
Warmth settled on Hestia’s chest. Without thinking twice, she shot herself in her niece’s direction, hugging her tight. ‘’Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you!’’
‘’Oi… settle… down…!’’ The squeezed Goddess wheezed as she tried to pry Hestia off her. ‘’You’re getting snot all over my clothes, ugh… Seriously, act as old as you are!’’
Was she crying? She didn’t even notice!
‘’Now…’’ The Goddess grabbed a hammer, a strange glow appearing in her lone eye as she settled on the forge. ‘’What type of weapons do those problem children use?’’
‘’Oh, that’s easy. Bell uses twin daggers, a bit on the longer side.’’ Hestia mused with a smile. ‘’And Roy…’’
Hestia blinked.
Last she remembered, the man used knives, had used a few daggers, but mostly relied on throwable objects and his surroundings to fight.
…Huh.
WHAT TYPE OF WEAPON WOULD ROY USE?!
‘’…This is going to be a long job, isn’t it?’’ Sighed Hephaestus.
-X-x-X-
-Roy Raynolds-
I sneezed.
‘’Roy, you okay?’’ The bunny-hume turned her head, looking away from the merchant God in front of us. ‘’You didn’t catch a cold, did you?’’
‘’Nah, I’m fine…’’ I frowned. ‘’Though I do feel watched all of a sudden.’’
‘’What’s that?’’
‘’Nothing, nothing. Anyway.’’ Turning my attention to the half-dog girl behind the counter, I pointed at one of the vials behind the glass. ‘’So… Antidotes are made from poison, you say?’’
The woman raised an eyebrow, but between answering my questions and seeing her God—Miach, I think?—give away free potions to Bell, she decided the former was less painful.
‘’Yes, but not exactly.’’ She said, gesturing to a sack resting at the very back. ‘’If you don’t mix it with Papillo Wing’s powder, then you will be just making a poison.’’
I hummed, brow furrowed in concentration. ‘’So… what if I add some additives? Shit like mushrooms. Can I make drugs with this?’’
‘’…No.’’ The girl scowled, her ears cutely flattened against her skull.
‘’Your face’s telling me that I could, though.’’ I pointed out with a smug smirk. ‘’Where do these Papilla things spawn again?’’
‘’Papillo.’’ She corrected. Suddenly, a strange glint entered her eye. ‘’And I’m not required to tell you that… Though there is a request notice from Lord Miach on the guild to get some powder.’’
‘’Oh?’’ I raised an eyebrow.
‘’Indeed. So, if someone were to suddenly complete the job and take, say, half the pay…’’ The girl mused flatly. ‘’Well, I’ll be inclined to part with some of it… along with some tips on mixing.’’
‘’Ohoho!’’ I cackled, setting my hands on the counter. ‘’I like the way you speak, lady. Deal.’’
…
Behind them, both a God of blue hair and a bunny-hume sweatdropped.
‘’They are quite scary, aren’t they?’’ Said the soft-spoken Miach.
‘’You tell me…’’ Sighed Bell.
-X-x-X-
-Bonus Scene: Show on The Road-
-?-
A large, cloaked figure entered through a deep, dark basement. Specifically, this was the property of the Ganesha Familia, and no other individuals were allowed entry.
Which was exactly why most of the guards had a ‘harmless toxin leak’ from one of the captured Monsters, suddenly occur.
The large man took off his hood, revealing a flat expression, rust-colored hair, red eyes, and a small set of boar-like ears. His steps were heavy as his eyes landed on every monster present.
‘’Too weak.’’ He shook his head.
His purpose right now was to find a suitable ‘creature’ for his Lady’s use. One that could make her sudden obsession—specifically, her two sudden obsessions—shine all the brighter.
But all the Monsters here, as expected, were particularly weak, so as not to have much problems, were worst come to pass.
Either that, or they were just a bit too strong. The Boaz knew from experience that putting an impossible challenge would do nothing but break one’s spirit.
But that’s when his eyes landed on a giant, silver-haired ape, with iron-clad restraints on each limb and a muzzle of the same material to avoid its incessant bellows.
‘’You’ll work.’’ Said the man plainly, even as the beast recoiled in fear. ‘’Hm?’’
‘’Kii… KIIII!’’
Right beside the Silverback, there was another monster. One acting much more erratically, and one good look was enough to tell exactly why. Albeit its coloration was different, it was unmistakably a Jack Bird.
The tiny, brown-colored rooster pecked at its restraints, cawing and cawing so as to grab someone’s attention. Its superior speed was nothing in the face of being held captive in a small cage.
It was quite strange that the Ganesha Familia decided to use this monster instead of killing it and harvesting its great reward, but it will surely come in handy for his lady’s plans.
Yes, these two will do. Not every fight needed to be a pure show of physical strength, after all.
With his mission complete and without sparing another glance, the Boaz hid himself with the cloak once more and walked out of the basement without a single impediment.
-X-x-X-.
.
.
Author's Note:
And repeat after me guys...
HESTIA IS BESTIA! YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
Part of the scene with Hestia and Loki was influenced by OldManOfTheMountain (idk his QQ tag) so thank him a lot for that. Also, I know the Gods in Danmachi aren't really related like their myth counterparts are...
But it's really fucking funny to think they do. Sure, there are cases like Miach where he genuinely got fucked over by his own son, but I can only imagine Hephaestus having to deal with her deadbeat couch-potato Aunt and its hilarious, kekw.
You could even twist it and make it some sort of roleplay that a few Gods just decide to follow through, lol
I also publish on other sites, if you wish to check them out:
FFN: https://www.fanfiction.net/u/15809388/HamsterX42
QQ: https://forum.questionablequesting.com/search/35199387/?c[users]=HamsterX42&o=date
Ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HamsterX42