In this world, for the most part, things could be divided into two categories.
Things that bring pleasure.
And things that bring displeasure.
Categorizing the act of peeping on beautiful girls bathing was an exceedingly difficult task.
Because, naturally, one would want to look.
But while looking, one would also suffer condemnation from one’s own morality.
It was both pleasurable and displeasurable.
A truly vexing choice.
[Peep on your damn head.
The probability of that woman discovering you isn’t high, but it’s not zero—she has a small world inside her body, which means she possesses attributes equivalent to a world—all attributes.
That, of course, includes the spiritual.
The only reason she can’t see you right now is because she assumes all anomalies are related to Honkai, so she’s only observing Honkai energy.]
[Due to this cognitive error, the probability of her discovering you is low, but not zero.
If she never catches on, you can watch without issue.
But if a sudden situation arises, you’ll be captured on the spot in the hot spring.
Forget the mission; your ass will be impaled into pulp by the Abyss Flower.]
The Tip System had become serious.
Although Russell called it a harpy whose aesthetic sense was far beyond the vanguard of human evolutionary history, when it came to danger, the Tip System was a conservative.
However—
That sounded so damn frustrating!
He was clearly contributing to the Honkai world, yet he had to be so damn careful while doing a good deed…
Tonight, he absolutely had to make that Dull Goose call him daddy!
Otherwise, he wouldn’t be able to sleep well.
So Russell thought.
[Uhm…
but still, didn’t you come here for the Oripathy Inhibitor Factory?
When you say that, your righteous justification seems a bit lacking.]
At this, the corner of Russell’s mouth twitched, his expression turning sinister.
“Don’t say things that are detrimental to the unity between the host and the Goldfinger.”
[…..]
Even the Tip System fell silent.
There was a reason the Yazi clan was kicked out of the capital of Yan, their exile taking them past Ningguta and straight into Siberia.
They were just too damn petty.
While the Tip System was busy lamenting why this clan hadn’t just been banished to America, Russell logged into the chat group and started shooting the breeze with the members.
“Family, I am currently standing outside a bathroom.
Inside are two youthful and invincible beautiful girls.
Do you all think I should go in?” Russell initiated a group poll in the chat.
“Press 1 if you think I should go in, 2 if I shouldn’t, and 3 if you think I should stand half-in and half-out of the bathroom.”
“Boss, have you been using your precognition arts so much that your brainpower has degraded, causing you to regress into a pervy monkey?” This was from Megumin, who held a grudge after being worked to the bone by Russell.
“Incorrect.
I never evolved in the first place.
I have always been a pervy monkey.”
“I have always been the fish that slipped through the net of human evolution.” Russell solemnly corrected Megumin’s linguistic error.
“Russell, stop making these weird jokes all the time.
It’s not good.” This was from the exceedingly earnest Raiden Mei.
She didn’t actually think Russell was planning to peep on a women’s bathhouse—who would discuss it in front of a group of girls while planning to do so?
But even as a joke, it came off poorly.
“Bathing?
I haven’t had a good soak in a long time…
It’s so hard to find a hotel on this continent with a smart toilet and a smart bathtub.” Skadi’s focus had completely veered off into a corner.
The ladies’ group’s responses were all rich with personal flavor.
As for the men’s group.
“Brother Russell…
when are the Shadowkhan you mentioned going to swap shifts with me…?” From within the mine, Naruto let out a miserable cry.
Aaaah…
why was Russell’s mine so huge?!
He couldn’t take it anymore!
This guy couldn’t care less about peeping or not peeping; the future Hokage just wanted someone to take over his shift.
“Oh, my good man, why waste your time on frivolous women?” In the base of the Black Hand, Valmont licked his fingers as he counted his American dollars.
He liked Russell.
He had taken a liking to him ever since Russell helped him get rid of the haunting presence of Shendu.
Now, he had discovered that Russell seemed to be able to handle certain individuals with ease.
After learning that Russell had strong ties to Chinese culture, he had spent a great deal of time looking through Chinese classics, such as The Plum in the Golden Vase, The Jealous Husband, and Romance of the Three Kingdoms.
Upon reading the chapter about the three visits to the thatched cottage, he had a sudden epiphany, as if the clouds had parted to reveal the sun.
He felt that he was just like Big-Ears Bei, and he needed a strategist like Russell, who could predict the enemy’s every move, to help him rebuild the Black Hand empire.
“Oh, my friend, put down your boring mine and come aid me in establishing the Black Hand empire!”
“I also happened to acquire two Talismans while I was robbing places around the world.
One is the Horse, and the other is the Tiger.
One of them was already promised to you, but if you join the Black Hand now, you can have the other one as well.”
Russell was stunned by his words.
Hold on, since when did Talismans become items you could just casually pick up during a robbery?
When did Valmont’s gang of incompetents become so impressive?
“You didn’t run into Jackie Chan?” Russell asked tentatively.
From what he remembered of the script, the Black Hand was the stepping stone of all stepping stones, perpetually serving as the comic relief.
By all rights, shouldn’t they be getting spun around like a top by Jackie Chan?
[What else could it be?
The fundamental rule of that world is the balance between good and evil.
With the great demon Shendu gone, the side of evil weakened.
In the future, a new demon will be awakened to maintain the new balance.]
“Jackie Chan and the others…
are dealing with another demon?” Russell seemed to understand.
“Oh, my friend, you truly are a prophet.” His words made Valmont on the other end exclaim in admiration, giving Russell a big thumbs-up.
So damn effective.
“That Jackie Chan and his crew seem to be dealing with a demon named Tarakudo or something.
They don’t have time to bother me.”
A polite, yet awkward, smile immediately appeared on Russell’s face.
And here he thought they had gotten stronger.
Turns out the forces of justice were just too busy to clean them up.
The world needed demons, and it needed righteous warriors.
With the evil dragon gone, Tarakudo, the Oni King from Japan, was naturally awakened to fill the void left by Shendu.
Jackie and the others were probably busy having a passionate brawl with that group of Japanese demons and had absolutely no time to deal with the Black Hand, a group of scrubs who’d be third-string knights even for a food delivery app.
However, Valmont’s asking price was uncommonly high.
The Edict of the Horse—the power of expulsion and restoration.
It could expel harmful and abnormal external forces from the body, dispel physical ailments and other detrimental afflictions, and restore any shattered or damaged object to its complete state.
Among the twelve Talismans, it ranked near the top.
In comparison, the Tiger was a bit of a headache.
The Edict of the Tiger’s ability was to balance yin and yang, harmonizing the conflicting magic of the other eleven Talismans and allowing all their powers to merge and balance within Shendu’s body to prevent chaos.
However, it had a side effect: it would split the holder into two separate individuals with opposite personalities.
Hmm, seemed a bit difficult to use.
This Valmont guy was a true friend.
If he had a Talisman, he really would give it away.
But this guy was also truly trash.
If his track record were even slightly better, Russell would have just waved his hand and said, “Brother Val, you don’t even have to ask.”
“System, what’s your take?
On this matter of joining the Black Hand.” Russell asked his Tip System.
[I don’t really recommend joining.
This group of gangsters is too incompetent.
However, what Valmont is offering is just too much…
Why don’t you just go over there and make do for a while?]
Even the Tip System was hesitant.
Russell pondered for a moment and finally decided he would go and meet up with Valmont.
Since Jackie Chan and the others were fighting the great demon Tarakudo, they had obviously collected the Oni Masks.
Naruto was about to be squeezed dry; he needed to find someone to relieve him.
Furthermore, the matter of a certain factory also required a sufficient number of skilled workers.
The soldiers from a single Oni Mask were likely not going to be enough.
He would definitely have to go pay Section 13 a visit to “borrow” some things later.
“Hmm, I’ll come find you another day to talk about joining the Black Hand.” Russell made his choice.
“Excellent!
A gentleman’s single utterance, even four horses would struggle to overtake it!” Valmont, this punk-rock version of Zhu Yuanzhang, spouted a bizarre oath.
After the round of conversation was complete, the faint rustling of pajamas sounded from the distance.
Russell’s gaze instantly sharpened.
He then glanced at the sky outside.
It was already dark.
It was almost time for action.