Miss Talulah exchanged her verbal title and two hundred grams of Gold Bars for thirty tons of flour.
The person who helped purchase the items was Valmont—when there was a profit to be made, the mafioso was a remarkably reliable partner.
[You have obtained Talulah’s allegiance with a performance and some grain.]
“I’m starting to think the boss is a pretty incredible character.”
Wiping the sweat from her face after waving the banner for half a day, Megumin looked at the man whose presence had momentarily overwhelmed even Talulah.
The unique red eyes of the Crimson Demon Clan were practically glowing.
“‘The one with a strong army and stout horses becomes the Augustus.’ That was an extraordinary thing to say.”
“Oh, that wasn’t my original line.
I copied it from somewhere else.”
“The original quote is—’The Son of Heaven should be the one with a strong army and stout horses.
Is a king’s lineage truly preordained?!'” Russell said, seeming to have overheard Megumin’s admiration.
Megumin’s expression fell instantly.
Great.
She had thought a boss capable of uttering such domineering words might be hiding some kind of super-boss secret.
Turns out he was just plagiarizing?
“By the way, is anyone in the group particularly lucky?” the young man asked the remaining group members with abrupt randomness.
“Why do you ask?” Skadi’s expression immediately turned vigilant, a hint of killing intent even leaking out.
She scanned her surroundings like the sovereign of the seas arriving in Antarctica, searching for seals to end their sinful lives with her Whale-Slaying Fist.
Her reaction caused Russell’s favorability towards Skadi to skyrocket.
She’s one of my people!
A fellow elder from the Unlucky Tribe!!
If only she weren’t a woman.
Otherwise, he would have insisted they become sworn brothers, complete with all the dramatic rituals!!
“Me!
I am!!” Uzumaki Naruto shot his hand into the air, completely oblivious to the fact that a certain orca’s eyes seemed to be glowing red.
Megumin silently distanced herself from Naruto, as if afraid of getting caught in the blood splatter.
The two members of the group with the highest combat power and the most complex minds both had the faces of gacha-cursed players.
For him to jump out now and claim to be lucky…
was he not afraid of being dispatched to Antarctica to establish a branch office responsible for finding polar bears?
“My luck is so-so.” Miss Megumin navigated the jungle of murderous intent from the Unlucky Tribe without a single leaf touching her.
“Mine…
isn’t very good…” The young lady from the Raiden family wasn’t overthinking it and chose to tell the truth—her luck was genuinely bad.
Her father had been arrested, she was being targeted by Cocolia, and to top it all off, a certain someone was making advances on her.
“Why do you ask?” The quick-witted Megumin looked at the card that had appeared in Russell’s hand at some point.
Her expression was filled with curiosity.
Russell was the most peculiar person in the group; anyone who wasn’t a complete idiot could see that.
And he had been fiddling with that card for a long time, a look of pure delight on his face.
“Hmm, for various reasons, I seem to have gotten my hands on a rather unusual card.” Russell didn’t lie, holding up the scratch-off-like card in his hand.
This was the item he got from duping Talulah.
It was said to correspond to an unknown prize pool.
“It’s a rather Schrödinger-esque item.
In short, before you scratch it, it could be anything.”
“If you’re lucky, you might even pull a Star Chart that symbolizes a universal concept.
If you’re unlucky, I reckon you’ll just get a portable compression toilet.”
His words piqued the interest of everyone in the group.
Even Raiden Mei, who rarely spoke, looked eager to try.
“Me, me!!
Let me do it!!” Naruto was suddenly fired up.
From Russell’s perspective, the first half of Naruto’s life was a coffee table piled high with tragedies.
But he was the protagonist, after all; he had plot armor.
Should he let him have a go at scratching it?
Russell handed the card to Naruto.
Naruto didn’t hesitate, immediately taking out a kunai and scraping it across the surface.
As he scratched, everyone in the group craned their necks, like a flock of ducks being lifted up by an invisible hand.
Megumin, the most curious of all, nearly pressed her entire face against the card, getting even closer than Naruto himself.
Amidst everyone’s expectant gazes, the card gradually revealed a faint golden color.
Russell’s heart began to race.
No matter the setting, a golden-tier item was never something ordinary.
A golden legendary?!
As the last of the coating was scraped away, a dazzling golden light exploded outwards.
“AH!!!
My eyes!
My eyes!!”
Being too close, Megumin was caught completely off guard.
She fell to the ground, writhing and screaming in pain.
It was a pitiful sight, yet also comical.
It made one want to laugh.
—She was standing too close, blocking almost all the light by herself.
[As a mine owner, should you be laughing while watching your production asset take damage?]
The detector’s words made Russell’s smile vanish completely.
Ah, crap.
He’d almost forgotten she was technically his production asset.
I’ll go check on Megumin.”
The beleaguered boss, in the early stages of his startup, went with a gloomy face to tend to his incredibly self-destructive employee, leaving the rest of the group to huddle around the card.
“…I’ll take a look first?”
After confirming that Megumin was being looked after, Naruto took the lead and picked up the card.
He was the one who scratched it, after all.
With Russell gone, he had the highest priority.
Under the watchful eyes of the others, Naruto eagerly held it up and looked at it.
And then—
“AH!!!”
He let out a scream as if his rear end had been critically struck by a discipline rod.
As if he’d seen something utterly foul, the usually unflappable Naruto threw the card onto the table, clamped his legs together, and waddled backward like a duck.
????
Raiden Mei and Skadi both wore expressions of pure confusion.
Raiden Mei walked to the table and picked up the card.
Skadi leaned in to look as well.
Just like Naruto before them, the faces of these two beauties instantly twisted in horror, and they dropped the card without a moment’s hesitation.
“?”
Russell’s head was full of question marks.
Seriously, was the psychological fortitude of his brothers and sisters in this group really this poor?
A single card had scared the souls out of them.
He placed the now-peaceful-looking Megumin on the sofa and went over.
He had to see just what kind of thing could make half the members of a bona fide cross-dimensional chat group turn pale with fright.
“Let me see your true form!” he huffed, picking up the card and proudly examining the skill.
[Causality Law: One Thousand Years of Death] Max Targets: One Max Attack Range: 400 (m) Description: A technique that reverses the “cause” and “effect” of events.
The moment it is activated, the “effect”—”the opponent is hit by One Thousand Years of Death”—is created first.
The “cause”—”the kunai strikes because their rear was penetrated”—occurs afterward.
Without considerable luck or magic resistance, it is nearly impossible to evade.
Activation Condition: Must be holding a kunai.
Acquisition Method: Tear the card.
Note: A kunai made from anti-magic materials can greatly weaken the suppression of this technique by magic resistance.
If facing a foe with extremely high luck, try unleashing the technique multiple times in succession.
To enhance the effect, you can also coat the kunai in chili extract.
Russell’s hand trembled, and he dropped the card on the floor.
?!!!
What in the seven hells is this shit?!!!
—o—