Norma
I sat inside a confessional, acting as a therapist for little dolls, or "NPCs", in the heart of the Cathedral of All Dead Gods, the main temple of the religion my avatar served, located in the empire's capital. Standard work for someone of my class.
"Tell me what troubles you, my child," I said, barely able to suppress a long sigh.
I can't believe I have to waste so much time on all these nerds and machines...
"A bird that has fallen from the nest is no longer accepted by its parents," the penitent said, a code phrase.
My subordinate.
"Parents who do not accept their children do not deserve the title," I replied. "Speak."
"You abandoned your last mission quite abruptly, even though it was a perfect opportunity to justify your character's exceptional nature."
It was true. Not only did I stand to make a fortune from that mission, but the narrative claiming I'd completed a quest directly linked to the "natural event" from that tutorial would have lent immense legitimacy to my character and her ability to maximize the bond with her weapon.
However...
"A pebble in my shoe started asking too many questions," I replied.
"That man, Legiano?"
"No, a woman. Well, her avatar was female. Legiano is a competent fighter, he clearly has a real-world military background, but he was conveniently too rigid to investigate me." It was a real shame I'd had to drop him; players loyal to a seductress like me weren't hard to find, but few were simultaneously such skilled fighters and so determined.
"Is she a danger?"
"...I can't say. Since our last interaction, she hasn't tried to turn me in or extort me." I instinctively narrowed one eye. "But it's best not to leave loose ends: her name is Anelise, and she was one of the first to clear that undead dungeon near Meicaminho. Get an IP tracker for me."
"We'll do that. But aren't you taking too many risks with the daytime operations?"
"Ah-haha! Please, I've got that whole office by the balls; the managers there would hand over their wives and daughters if it meant another sales contract."
"The managers don't matter; the ones you really need to charm are-"
"I know, I know!" I rolled my eyes.
Except one of those key figures is probably some uptight faggot.
"There have been a few complications, a player here, an employee there, but overall, things are progressing exactly as planned, okay? Worst-case scenario, I sell this character for a small fortune, and no one has to worry about the abominable ghost of the 'Fiscal Deficit', oooh!" I mimicked a ghost. Smiling, I instinctively touched my left eye before concluding: "And best-case scenario... We're going to have a hell of a good time. And not with those nerdy little games... Ah-ha! Ah-hahaha!"
Game Over ☠
Jade
It was just a few hours before dawn in the game when we spotted a campfire burning on the beach.
"NPCs?" Legiano asked, following close behind me and getting his feet wet.
"Dude, that movie is terrible! Hahaha!" The wind carried the words of one of the people sitting around the fire right to us.
"No, players," I replied. "Maybe we could ask them how to get to the capital?"
"Be careful, they might be PKs."
Player Killers... Yeah, I'm pretty sure that even if that were the case, we could handle ourselves.
"What's the matter? Not great with real people, Legiano? Come to think of it, half your party used to be NPCs, right?"
"I- I wouldn't say that," he said, looking away. "You could even say I support a family in the real world, and I've had jobs where good communication was absolutely vital!"
He's talking about me, and her experience in the army...
"Alright then, I'll leave the task of asking for directions to you-"
"Grrr!" My stomach growled.
"-and also scoring some food and drink for us, okay? My avatar is starving, and yours probably is too."
"Food, drink, information..." Legiano frowned, staring at the players ahead. They hadn't noticed us yet, blinded by their own campfire and unable to hear our voices over the wind.
They were all very good-looking; one was a well-equipped blond warrior, another a black-haired thief, one was a bespectacled witch with a shy demeanor, and the last was a red-headed archer with an easy smile.
Damn, I can feel the extroverted energy from here... They aren't just roleplaying; they're genuinely sociable, cool people! Even that mage doesn't fool me, she's probably hooked up with all her friends already!
"A-Are you okay?" Legiano asked.
"I-I am! What about you? With all the demands you're going to make of them, you'll basically have to win over their friendship. You okay?"
"Friendship..." Sweat beaded on my twin brother's avatar's forehead. Finally, he nodded and pressed on: "Of course I am. I'm perfectly fine. Just follow me silently and watch as I win their hearts!"
"Haha, don't give me that; that day you got wasted and- YAAH!" The redhead screamed, and all four of them sprang to their feet, staring at us hesitantly.
Legiano had a forced smile frozen on his face.
Amateur!
Unlike my brother, I stared at those people with a perfectly natural smile, standing just a step behind Legiano:
"Guhuhu..."
"Whoa, man, you guys scared us, haha... What's up?" The blond guy asked.
"You can call me 'friend,'" Legiano said, and I could almost read his train of thought: if I get them to call me 'friend,' they'll subconsciously start seeing me as a friend! or something like that.
"Uurgh..." The blond guy glanced at the other three members of his party, visibly uncomfortable, before looking back at us. "Do you need something?"
"Call me 'friend,'" Legiano repeated, his breathing quickening as his plan crumbled right before his eyes.
"Guhu! Guhuhuh!" I laughed to break the tension and smooth things over, like the wonderful sister I was.
"Whether we're friends or not is for us to decide," the thief said, placing his hands on the daggers at his waist.
For an instant that seemed to last an eternity, only the crackling of the campfire and the sound of breaking waves could be heard in the dark of night.
"What do you want?" The blond man asked again.
"Water... Food..." Legiano admitted, looking at the supplies scattered around the campfire. Looking directly at the girls, he concluded, "So much stuff!"
Aaah! I screamed internally as I saw the girls turn pale from the misunderstanding. He probably just wanted to include everyone in the conversation! I had to help him out.
"S-S-So much stuff!" I added, grabbing the back of my brother's avatar and staring at the warrior and the thief. "Guhuhuhuhu! Kuh- Pft!" I started laughing, then choked and drooled all over myself.
The four players in front of us exchanged wide-eyed glances.
"You can take the food and water, but you need to leave right after," the blond guy said seriously.
With our hunger and thirst meters rapidly approaching zero, none of us had the luxury of a second thought; we threw ourselves to the ground and gathered as much of the available food and water as we could, stuffing some into our bags and shoving the rest straight into our mouths without a shred of shame.
And the four pairs of eyes that had been staring at us with wariness shifted to look at us with pity or...
Disgust! They're disgusted by us, shit!
Damn it, you idiot, this is all your fault! I thought, glancing sideways at Legiano and feeling my face burn with a mix of anger and shame.
Once our bellies were full and we were back on our feet, my brother offered his thanks, tears of shame in his eyes.
"...Thank you. Friends."
"Just... Just go away now," the thief said, scrunching up his nose and mouth as if speaking to a leper whose face was rotting off right before his eyes. "You've already stuffed your faces, anyway," he concluded, tossing a chicken bone into the campfire flames.
"Maybe we should get going, too," the redhead archer said, tossing a paper bag, which had once held bread, into the campfire.
"I agree!" said the bespectacled witch, kicking a pile of eggshells into the flames.
Damn it, we still don't know which way the capital is! If we keep wandering around, we'll be at the mercy of monsters, hunger, and thirst all over again! I thought. My brother must have been thinking the same thing, for he suddenly dropped to his knees before the quartet and hurriedly and indiscriminately tossed everything lying on the ground into the fire, saying:
"L-Let me help, as a thank-you!"
"What are you doing?!" the blond man shouted when Legiano, flustered and inattentive, threw a small red canister into the flames.
"Did you just throw our car's fuel into the fire...?" the thief asked, incredulous.
Rising slowly, Legiano looked at me with dull, lifeless eyes, like those of recruits who have just realized that war is humanity's greatest sin.
Act natural and save this ridiculous situation, Jade! Think like one of those cool people, act like them, and talk like them!
"Hmph! We don't care," I said with a half-smile, shoving my hands in my pockets and shrugging.
Guhuhu... that was cool; cool people don't care about anything!
"BOOM!" The small jug exploded into a surprisingly large fireball, sending us all flying in different directions.
"Cough, cough!" I dragged myself through the sand, covered in soot, until my hands brushed against something hard, cold, and small:
"A car key," I realized. "Legiano!" I called out to my brother, and it didn't take long for him to find me, stumbling my way, clearly dazed and vulnerable. Fortunately, the quartet of extroverts was even more disoriented than we were; some were still trying to put out the flames consuming their clothes. "Guhu! Guhuhuhu!" Laughing with relief at finally escaping that embarrassing situation, I grabbed my brother's hand and ran off into the night.
He didn't complain when I followed the nearby trail, found the quartet's car, and stole it. In fact, he didn't even look me in the face for quite a while.