I know I should be a genius.
Well, if that bullet hadn’t hit me in the head, anyway.
“Holy crap!
Awesome, he survived!
He survived being shot!”
The noisy chatter around him made the little crocodile flutter his eyes open.
He was only one day old.
With his large eyes and scrawny body, he looked more like an oversized lizard than a fierce predator, though he did possess a certain undeniable charm.
Two older men stood before him.
They weren’t quite elderly, just sporting a mix of salt-and-pepper hair.
Middle-aged was probably the most accurate description.
“Judging by its size, it must be a few months old, right?
Old Larry, the Department of Fish and Wildlife just handed him over to you like that?”
Months?
Did I lose my memory?
“Yeah.
I showed them the zoo’s operating permits.
They said the little guy probably wouldn’t make it anyway.
His mother is dead, and he couldn’t survive in the wild, so they dumped him on me.
But if he does survive, I have to report back to them.”
The man called Old Larry gently scooped up the baby crocodile.
It looked like he was preparing to feed him.
“What a pity.
I thought the local Saltwater Crocodile population was finally recovering, but it looks like they are gone again.”
Saltwater Crocodile?
Am I a Saltwater Crocodile?
The little crocodile’s eyes followed Old Larry around the cramped room.
The walls were peeling, and a ceiling fan looked like it was one rotation away from crashing down.
Wait, how did he know about these things?
The baby crocodile felt a surge of pre-gunshot memories flickering in his mind.
His subconscious practically screamed that he was definitely not a Saltwater Crocodile.
Oh no.
Am I an idiot now?
“Right.
Old Frank, have you seen the baby bottle I prepared?”
“A baby bottle?
Isn’t it sitting right there on the table?
What do you need a baby bottle for?”
Old Frank cracked sunflower seeds with his right hand.
He picked up the baby bottle from the table with his left, ready to pass it to Old Larry.
“To feed the crocodile.”
“Pfft!”
Old Frank spat out a mouthful of half-chewed sunflower seeds.
He instantly yanked the bottle back.
“Crocodiles do not drink milk!”
Old Larry froze in place.
He stood there awkwardly, cradling the baby crocodile in one arm.
The tiny reptile rested its little claws on the man’s sleeve, staring up at his dumbfounded face with innocent eyes.
Human, do you really expect me to drink milk?
Old Larry slapped his free hand against his forehead in sudden realization.
He winced.
“Oops.
I forgot.
I completely confused him with the second brother.”
“Tsk, you almost tortured the poor little guy.
What name are you planning to give him?
Please tell me it isn’t another cliché.”
Old Frank shot Old Larry a look of utter disdain.
His gaze then shifted down to the baby crocodile.
“What are you talking about?
The names I pick are memorable!
It is decided.
Since he is a saltwater crocodile, and the third to join us, his name will be Salty the Third.”
Salty the Third?
Me?
The baby crocodile was barely keeping up with the human conversation.
His tiny body was weak, making it a struggle to even vocalize.
“Take Number Three out to meet his oldest and second brothers.
I am going to chop up some meat for him.”
Old Larry lifted the little reptile with both hands and offered him to his friend.
Old Frank put down his sunflower seeds.
He accepted the baby crocodile with a hint of trepidation.
He quickly adjusted his grip, holding Salty the Third firmly against his chest, facing outward.
“Why is this little guy so quiet?
Did he pass away while we were talking?”
“Chirp!”
Salty the Third let out a soft, high-pitched squeak to prove he was very much alive.
But the moment the sound left his throat, he swore he would never speak again until he was fully grown.
The noise was simply far too adorable.
The two middle-aged men were absolutely delighted.
They thought the little creature was incredibly smart and burst into laughter.
“Come on!
Let me take you to meet your big brothers!”
Old Frank acted as a human mobility scooter.
Salty the Third found the ride quite comfortable.
However, Old Frank was clearly worried the little beast might snap at him, so his grip was a little too tight.
They approached the entrance of Larry’s Zoo.
Bro, is your real name actually Larry?
The place was dilapidated and mostly empty, though it technically possessed all the basic zoo facilities.
The paint on the walls was peeling terribly.
Less than half of the original blue remained, leaving behind a miserable patchwork of grey and white.
Salty the Third noticed something out of the corner of his eye.
He tilted his tiny head toward the ticket booth.
Old Frank immediately followed his gaze.
“Look over there, little guy.
That is your Boss Croc.”
Boss Croc?
The ticket office was a tiny structure, much like a standard security guard booth.
A massive glass window faced the main entrance of the zoo.
It had a tiny circular slot cut into the bottom.
Above the window hung a large wooden board.
Bright red painted letters spelled out a simple message.
Two Dollars Per Person.
However, there was no human inside the ticket booth.
Old Frank tapped his knuckles against the glass twice.
Salty the Third peered inside.
He was stunned to see a massive alligator snapping turtle sitting quietly at the ticket window.
So this is the crocodile.
The ticket slot was incredibly small.
It was barely larger than a standard quarter.
A faded sticker next to the hole displayed a stern warning.
Do not put your hands inside!
Do not!
Perhaps Boss Croc was simply too affectionate.
Did he enjoy using his razor-sharp beak to playfully greet the tourists?
The baby crocodile and the giant snapping turtle locked eyes for a brief moment.
The elder reptile eventually broke the intense stare.
It slowly rotated its massive shell, turning its rear end toward its newly awakened junior colleague.
Clink.
Clatter.
Old Frank fished two coins from his pocket.
He casually dropped them into the empty ticket slot, muttering under his breath.
“Almost forgot to pay the toll.
Let’s go see Cat Number Two!”
Looking around guiltily like a thief in the night, Old Frank scurried away with Salty the Third.
The baby crocodile dangled awkwardly in the air.
His tiny tail swung back and forth like a pendulum.
He seriously began to wonder if he had been reincarnated into the wrong body entirely.
“Look!”
Old Frank soon carried him to another large glass enclosure.
A chubby, golden-furred cub had been napping inside a cozy cat bed.
Hearing the sudden noise, the little creature scrambled up and excitedly trotted over with its oversized head bobbing.
Thud!
The clumsy cub slammed its face directly into the glass pane.
It plopped backward onto its rump, sitting there in a stunned daze.
Drawing upon his somewhat limited animal knowledge, Salty the Third immediately recognized the creature.
It was a Golden Tiger.
An incredibly rare mutation.
Why would such a magnificent and majestic beast stoop to living in this rundown shack of a zoo?
“This is Cat Number Two.
He came from the state zoo.
He was born blind, so the tigress rejected him.
He couldn’t survive on his own, and the main park didn’t have the space or money to give him a private enclosure.”
Old Frank didn’t seem to care if the baby crocodile could actually understand him.
He just rambled on.
“Your boss, Old Larry, is old classmates with the director of that zoo.
He used his connections to bring him here.
The Fish and Wildlife Service sends people to inspect his condition regularly.
Tsk, tsk.
Old Larry is raising all of you completely out of his own pocket.
I have no idea what he is going to do when you all grow up.”
Salty the Third looked up at Old Frank’s weathered face, then back down at the clumsy, blind tiger cub.
He couldn’t help but stretch out a tiny, scaly paw to gently tap the glass in greeting.
Old Frank, however, had spaced out completely.
He was staring blankly at the sky at a forty-five-degree angle, completely oblivious to the crocodile’s actions.
“Old Frank!
Bring Number Three to the main enclosure!”
Old Larry’s booming voice suddenly erupted from the park’s rusty PA system.
Old Frank nearly jumped out of his skin.
His wandering soul violently snapped back into his body.
“Holy crap!
Who uses a broadcast system just to shout at people down the hall?!”