It was in the winter of 2019.
The first time I met him, Seoul was experiencing its first snow of the winter.
The air was cold, but the practice room’s heating was turned up high.
Wonyoung and I had just returned from IZ*ONE activities in Japan when Director Kim called us back to the company, saying we were to meet a “very important” new Producerwho would be in charge of our first project after our temporary group activities ended and we returned to Starship Entertainment.
“Very important”?
I was actually a little dismissive.
After being in the industry for a few years, what kind of big-name Producer hadn’t I seen?
Was he the type with slicked-back hair, dressed in designer brands, who liked to mix Korean and English when speaking?
Or was he the type with an artist’s stubble, his face screaming, “I’m expensive, don’t mess with me”?
But to my surprise, our first meeting was truly hilarious.
At that moment, I was bouncing out of the practice room, while he walked in, head down, looking at a piece of paper in his hand.
I was startled, and my body reacted faster than my brain, dodging away from him.
He finally reacted, slamming on the brakes, but stumbled forward, stopping abruptly less than ten centimeters from the tip of my nose.
He was tall, wearing a down jacket that looked many years old, ordinary jeans, and a pair of brandless sneakers.
He had a backpack, and his hair looked like he had just run his hands through it a couple of times.
Overall, he gave off the impression of a senior who had just walked out of a university library, still half-asleep.
And he just stayed in that forward-leaning posture, staring blankly at me, then said something that almost made me laugh.
“So pretty…”
After the air seemed to freeze for a few seconds, I finally realized that he might be the “very important” Producer that Director Kim had mentioned.
“Producer-nim?
You’re Producer Liang, right?” I teased, “Are you… personally testing our trainees’ combat resistance and emergency evasion skills?”
“Huh?” He stammered, “…I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I… I didn’t mean to! I got lost! I was looking at the map! I’m really very sorry!” He sat on the floor, gesticulating wildly, explaining incoherently, his face flushed red.
So cute.
That was the first impression that popped into my mind.
This feeling was so novel.
Normally, wherever we went, we encountered people who were enthusiastic, flattering, or at least composed.
Someone as nervous as him, not knowing where to put his hands and feet, was a first for me.
He was like a huge… rabbit that had wandered into a lion’s cage?
No, a rabbit is too small.
With his height, he should be a big dog.
Yes, a golden retriever that looks tall and mighty but is actually terribly timid, wanting to shrink back into a corner as soon as a stranger approaches.
This analogy amused me.
I decided I would carefully observe this “big dog.”
When he sat down in front of the computer and started playing the demo he had prepared for us, everything changed.
The moment the melody of “ELEVEN” flowed from the speakers, the air in the entire practice room seemed to freeze.
It was a kind of music I had never heard before, full of exotic flair and sophistication.
The rhythm, the melody, the arrangement… everything was too perfect to be made by a newcomer.
I turned to look at him.
He still had that reserved demeanor, but his fingers were unconsciously tapping lightly on the desktop to the rhythm of the music.
His gaze was fixed on the computer screen, and those eyes, which had previously been evasive, were now filled with confidence and an… undeniable brilliance.
At that moment, I felt like I had discovered a treasure.
Beneath that clumsy, shy, inarticulate exterior, such a talented soul was hidden.
How interesting.
From that day on, “observing Liang Yun” became my greatest pleasure at the company.
I found that he really was like a big dog.
He usually kept to himself, and when he saw us in the company hallway, he would instinctively try to go around us.
When I spoke to him, he would blush, and his answers to questions would never exceed three words.
If I handed him a bottle of water, he would nervously say “thank you” several times, as if it were a hot potato.
However, as soon as the conversation turned to music, he transformed. You are reading on g.com, the official source.
He would talk endlessly, his eyes would light up, and his whole being exuded an irresistible charm.
I started to deliberately tease him.
I would suddenly appear at the door of his studio, poke my head in, and shout, “Producer-nim, what are you busy with?” Then I would watch with satisfaction as he jumped out of his chair like a startled rabbit.
I would pretend to casually ask him some tricky questions about music, then enjoy watching him nervously scratch his head while still unable to resist earnestly answering me, looking conflicted.
Every time I saw that expression—wanting to hide but unable to, both annoyed and helpless—I felt particularly good.
Wonyoung said I was like a primary school kid who liked to pull little boys’ pigtails, but I didn’t care.
Hunting a timid big dog is inherently a rewarding experience, isn’t it?
Later, we had to return to IZ*ONE to prepare for our comeback.
Before I left, I pulled Wonyoung along and called him.
On the phone, I deliberately used a commanding tone, telling him he absolutely had to watch our comeback stage, even saying it was to “check his homework.”
Actually, that was a challenge I issued to him.
I was telling him: Look, this is the stage we stand on, this is our profession as idols.
Now, it’s your turn.
You can’t hide in that shell forever; your talent should be seen by more people.
I was looking forward to how he would respond to my “homework.”
I didn’t expect his response to come so quickly, so fiercely.
When I watched his debut stage on M Countdown with my unnies in the dorm, I admit, I was stunned.
The him on screen was no longer the clumsy big dog I knew.
He wore a clean, off-white knit sweater, held an old guitar, and sat there quietly.
The spotlight shone on him, enveloping him in a soft glow.
When he started to sing, I felt my breath catch.
That voice was full of stories.
Loneliness, confusion, struggle, and a hint of a deep-seated longing for light.
His gaze, through the camera, looked directly at the world beyond the screen.
In those eyes, there were stars, deep seas, and so many things I couldn’t understand but was captivated by.
At that moment, a strong, inexplicable sense of pride welled up within me.
Look, this is the treasure I discovered.
Now, the whole world will see his light.
“Wow,” Wonyoung beside me exclaimed sincerely, her eyes sparkling, full of admiration, “unnie, our Producer is really popular now, this time… he’ll get so, so many fans, right?”
Wonyoung’s words were like a fine needle, gently, yet precisely, pricking my heart.
A strange, sour emotion surged up without warning.
Fans?
Yes, he is so talented, not bad-looking, and has such a unique aura.
Many, many girls will definitely like him.
Will they, like me, discover the interesting soul beneath his shy exterior?
Will they, like me, enjoy seeing him blush when teased?
Will they… replace me, becoming the one who can make him show another side?
The moment that thought emerged, I felt very annoyed.
Extremely annoyed.
It was as if my unique treasure, which I had secretly hidden in my secret base all along, was suddenly put on public display and coveted by countless people.
I… don’t really want to share him with others.
This realization startled even me.
So, when I learned he was going on a live radio broadcast, a bold idea wildly grew in my mind.
I had to do something.
I had to leave a secret mark, unique to me, amidst this nationwide frenzy.
So, I disguised myself as an ordinary listener and dialed that number.
When I heard him freeze on the spot, his breathing becoming heavy, because of my question, “Are you interested in big dogs?”, I hid on the dorm sofa, laughing so hard I almost choked.
Watching the crazy speculation about “large dogs” online, seeing his blood-red face turned into various memes, I felt an unprecedented, utterly satisfying joy. The source of this chapter is g.com.
Guess all you want, guess to your heart’s content.
This secret, only he and I know.
He is my “big dog.”
This realization filled me with a secret sense of superiority, like a hunter looking at their exclusive prey, every time I saw him backstage or at the company afterward.
Later, he was swamped with work, writing songs for CRAVITY.
Watching his increasingly deep dark circles and his almost ethereal appearance, I felt both annoyed and amused.
This fool, does he really think he’s made of iron?
And so, came the invitation for a “midnight stroll.”
I told myself I was just taking pity on him; as a friend, I was just taking him out to relax.
Absolutely no other meaning.
Absolutely not.
When I saw him appear at the alley entrance, wrapped up like a mummy, I honestly almost burst out laughing.
How could this man be so cute?
I took him to eat fried chicken, watching him devour it like a puppy starved for three days, completely losing the aloofness he had in front of the camera.
I deliberately teased him, asking who the “you” in his song was, watching him fluster, blush, and use work as a shield.
At that moment, I felt particularly at ease.
Thankfully, he was still the big dog I knew, unchanged by his sudden surge in popularity.
After the fried chicken, we went to the Han River.
The Han River at dawn was quiet, the wind was gentle, and the moonlight was beautiful.
We walked side by side, chatting, and the atmosphere was wonderful.
I looked at his hair, disheveled by the wind, at his eyes, which appeared exceptionally bright in the night, and at the corners of his mouth, slightly upturned by my words.
I suddenly felt that the black mask on his face was a bit of an eyesore.
I wanted to see his complete, true expression beneath the mask.
So, I reached out and did something even I thought was incredibly bold.
I took off his mask.
When my fingertips lightly touched his warm cheek, I felt my heart skip a beat.
His Skin was even finer than I imagined, his eyelashes long, casting a small shadow in the moonlight.
His lips had a beautiful shape, now slightly pursed from nervousness.
His eyes were filled with surprise, helplessness, and a… burning emotion I had never seen before.
He was just like that, defenseless, completely exposed before me.
My breath, at that moment, also stopped.
Everything around me disappeared—the sound of the wind, the water, distant cars… In my world, there was only him.
Only his face, so close, making my heart race.
“Thump, thump, thump…”
My heart was pounding wildly in my chest, telling me a truth in a way I couldn’t ignore.
— Ahn Yujin, you’re done for.
You’re not the hunter.
You are the one who fell into the trap you dug yourself—the prey.
I looked at him, and against my better judgment, wanted to lean in closer.
Just then, Wonyoung’s call, like a clap of thunder, jolted me out of that dizzying state.
I hastily withdrew my hand, pretended nothing was wrong as I answered the phone, then quickly said goodbye to him.
As he turned to leave, I heard him ask in a very soft voice, tinged with uncertainty and longing, “Will there be a next time?”
I stopped, turning back to look at him.
Seeing his expectant gaze, like a puppy afraid of being abandoned, the softest string in my heart was plucked hard.
I smiled at him.
With the brightest, most radiant smile of my life.
“Of course,” I said, “even if you don’t want to, I’ll drag you out.”
How could I let someone else lead my big dogaway?