Memories are strange things, illusive most moments simply being lost by the wayside, fading away from our minds never to be seen again no matter how much we enjoyed them, and yet for some reason our deepest regrets are crystal clear, or at least parts of them are.
The full picture, the primal feelings, emotions or even cold crisp logic, which drove those choices, is strangely almost entirely absent from the very things haunting us.
All we remember, obsess over, is the moment, the mistake, which in a way is kind of funny, our minds almost seem to demand us to make better choices, yet for some odd reason it refuses to even accept why we made that decision in the first place.
A kind of madness really, akin to punching a wall, and expecting to get anything out of it, but pain, yet the holes dotting countless walls, tells a tale, which many of us aren’t ready to accept.
Our minds are drawn towards pain, and… the truth is simply that we’re also, flawed emotional creatures, who rarely truly accept what we’ve done wrong.
Take the word mistake for example, doesn’t it rather imply doing something, which could have been avoided, instead of being something that’s ultimately our responsibility?
Maybe, we draw comfort from the idea that we could have made a different choice, instead of the blame falling squarely on us, a result of our own flaws, and shortcomings.
A terrifying idea to some, even when they’re comforted by how the choices of others impact our fate or the paths we would inevitably take, but does that truly change what we would do or absolve us of our choices?
The simple truth is that if the clock was rewound, every mistake, and every regret, would play out exactly the same way, because at the time, there was a reason why we made that choice.
With the same information, the same circumstances, and in the exact same emotional state, we would make that same mistake every single time.
A concept some find uncomfortable, for some reason, as if they truly believe there isn’t any real reason why they made a choice, as if their actions are simply a result of random chance, but if that was the case, how could we ever make better choices?
Either we are responsible for our choices or we’re not, but if we are, the only way we can ever get better is by confronting the flaws, the monsters living within all of us, and if we’re not?
Well, then why bother regretting anything at all?
I wonder which you will end up believing, your mistakes being your responsibility or a fluke which never would have happened if you just had the chance to choose differently, and nothing more than an innocent mistake, without any real reason guiding it.
Well, you at least, will have plenty of time to think about it…
The pages of the journal begins to shake
“I wonder what horrors will fill your mind, what will you regret, when you’re alone, and trapped in the void?”
A hand reaches through the journal, grabbing ahold of the scholar, and making them disappear into black mist, before they can even make a sound.
Eyes then appear on the journal, looking for someone else… someone who’s still reading.
The glowing black eyes turn looking around the room, until they locate a certain someone.
“Well now, aren’t you an interesting one”
The random musings of the Destroyer of Worlds
____________________________________________
A smell, crisp iron, like I’m elbow deep inside of some monster, and their blood is misting directly into my face, slowly draws me awake.
The smell though, instead of fading away, only gets stronger as my eyes slowly blink awake, quickly growing past the smell of a slaughterhouse, and into that of a battlefield, the smell of slaughter.
I instantly stumble to my feet, but there is no battle, and I’m just alone in my room.
Well calling my nook in the rafters is a bit of a stretch, but a rather unimportant detail as I drag uncomfortable shaky deep breaths out of my body, and wipe away a trail of sweat from my forehead.
Then… something hits me, the creeping silence finally manages to sink into my brain.
The village is entirely quiet, no laughter, children crying, or fire crackling, and not even a single snore echoing through the night.
I fall from the ceiling in a burst of motion, and crash into the next room, where there is blood.
So much blood, my feet sink into it, and floating on top of it all rests the dismembered bodies of my loved ones.
Their heads are either caved in or cut off, and every single last one of them has had their chests ripped into.
Blood drips out of their exposed rib cages, which are little more than torn flesh, and shattered bones.
I fall to my knees, the blood of my family washing over the rest of my body as a howl escapes me, a sound filled with so much pain, and so much grief that it takes on a life of its own.
An energy radiates from my body, as my piercing wails fill the entire village, and then they appear.
Three misty humanoids, in an instant they’re holding me down, and running a blade through my throat, but it’s too late.
The first heart wrenching scream, my last scream not only jolting everyone awake, but quickly being joined by others, as pain, agony, and madness take over the village, heralding the start to a nightmare, beyond imagination.
Mother’s, fathers, son’s, and daughters rush to find their loved ones, but that’s when the ghosts abandon their attempt at stealth.
The village then fills with the sound of those being held down as their cores are carved out of their chests, and the cries of parents as their children are ripped from their arms.
The ghosts are grabbing people from the street, and only leaving once they claim their prize.
Horns begin to blare throughout the village, and goblins carrying children in their arms rush to the center.
Goblin warriors with enchanted weapons try to fend off the ghosts, while mages fling spells into the crowd, but for the most part, they’re just being ignored as the ghosts, dozens if not hundreds of ghosts swarm the defenseless, ripping them apart, before vanishing into the stone.
An eternity passes as the goblins huddle together, and for a few minutes it even seems like the nightmare might be over, that the ghosts have taken their due, and moved on, but after a few moments a silent wave reappears.
Ghosts appear in the crowd snatching goblins left, and right as the guards, as their friends, and family helplessly watch, until the chieftain of the village.
A giant of a goblin, ten feet tall, and built like an elephant falls to their knees.
A helpless roar echoes throughout the tunnel.
“Run, flee to the other villages, and I will try to distract them.” And a green wave floods into the tunnels, goblins carrying children are surrounded by mages, while the rest?
Simply run for all they’re worth, but the ghosts never stop coming.
____________________________________________
The draw of the golden tab finally claims me, an escape from my thoughts, which have just been endlessly running in circles.
Notifications
Experience Earned
Class: It has been like an hour, and most of it you spent on your ass, so I’m really not sure what you’re expecting to see here… well, you did also create a significant being so I guess there is that.
Combat: Your minions, face foes, which you don’t even know exist, sometimes winning, other times dying, but the horde is unending, and take any life they cross.
Level up
Health Restored
Mana Restored
Stamina Restored
1 Assignable Attribute
Talent Gained
Creator of Legends
Skill Gained
Analyze
Spells Leveled Up
Raise The Dead +1 This chapter was taken from g.com without permission.
Skills Leveled Up
Anatomy of The Risen +2
Sense Mana +1
New Talent
Creator of Legends!
– You have created something which can only be described as legend-dary… granted it was just a result of RNG, but in an ever expanding universe, everyday is a whole lot of someone’s lucky day, and can it really be said that you’re lucky, when your creation basically outright rejected you?
Then again, you should be pretty used to that by now (shrug) you have joined the elusive ranks of those who have created something more, something special, granting you a bonus base one percent chance to create something of a higher quality, congratulations!
The undead you typically raise now have, realistically, a one out of a hundred chance of being something greater than shoddy 🙂
New Skill
Analyze – Huh, you finally stared at enough stuff to start unlocking additional information… it only took you like what more than a week?
Odd, you found yourself in a magical world, and yet didn’t feel the need to take the time to really study the things in your surroundings.
That umm, well, sounds exactly like something you would do 🙂
Status screens1
21
“Bloody passive aggressive notifications!” Here I am flying by the seat of my pants, and the notifications have infinite words for sass, but of course it never mentions useful things.
Like how increasing my wisdom is leading to a cycle of my intelligence increasing as well, because of the extra mana I have to burn.
Instead, all I get are riddles, and random bits of information with absolutely no context, like beings have different quality tiers… “Ugh” My eyes focus on the cabal of ghosts working, until something clicks in place, and a gray haze surrounds the ghost
Tier one, level five, Ghostly Arcane channeler (shoddy quality) – A ghost whose entire purpose is dumping their mana into predetermined projects.
Not really a threat on their own, but if you’re seeing one, odds are you are somewhere that you really, realllllly shouldn’t be.
‘Sigh’
“So there are levels, tiers, and quality levels, isn’t that a tad convoluted?” And, what really separates a shoddy quality ghost, and one of a higher quality?
Is it just like the difference between two people, genetics, and fate marking an inherent difference.
The star athletes of the world just having rolled better than the average Joe, but if that was the case why would a dungeon fairy be legendary quality or?
A legendary class being, Jesus are there four levels?
Rarity of species, level, tier, and quality?
There is such a thing as over tuning!
But then again, it does kind of make sense… like a dragon could hardly be considered the same as a human, and individuals within a species will have inherent differences, just it being quantified, is wrong?
Like, how would a society treat someone that’s marked as shoddy quality, but then again, earth had no problem with treating people like trash without the markers.
‘Sigh’
Regardless, it seems like I’ll now have the chance of creating some higher quality ghosts, and also probably means there’s more to creating things than just swinging mana around.
Bah, I guess there is only one way to find out, to experiment!
But, making more undead just to use them?
Throwing their lives at my problems, like they don’t even matter, is really starting to seem, not all that great.
When!
A wild Lin appears
“Ughhhhhh! I couldn’t find that stupid fairy, they have to be around here somewhere though.” She looks at me, laid out on the floor, and a very judgemental look quickly grows across her face.
“Looks like you have been busy… speaking of, I could use a little help finding our missing friend.”
My eyes narrow, and my voice grows bored “Oh, and why would I help you find the person that I let go?”
Her eyes narrow.
“I don’t know, a basic desire to live, remember the whole bounty hunters coming to kill us thing, and” She points down at the golem “Us being surrounded by monsters!”
“Unless you’ve actually seen any bounty hunters, and failed to mention them, we don’t even know for sure they’re coming.”
She snorts “They’re out there, among more monsters than you can imagine in your little cave. Look, all I really need is a couple of trackers, the rest of the ghosts will start searching once they get the message. Well, minus Mr spends all day meditating, and sparing.”
“No, I’m not going to make them, I let her go.” Lin’s eyes practically burn as she appears in front of me “And why exactly is that your decision to make?”
I glare at her “Let’s hold a vote, oh would you look at that?!? One for, and one against the enslavement, and selling of sentient beings.”
Lin smiles “Oh, is this a democracy then? How do you think any newly awakened comrades would vote, on one hand, certain death, and on the other, a chance to start a new life practically, wherever they want, what do you think they will choose?”
Her smile grows wider, and she stomps one of her feet on the floor “Better yet, let’s find out!” She then starts to stalk to the pile of loot, with a swing in her step, and a coldness enters my voice, as I find my way to my feet.
“It’s interesting how I have been spending so much time worrying over what the right thing is… when it doesn’t matter.”
Lin turns towards me, a smirk still covering her face, and a ball of mana slams into her chest.
It even pushes her back a few feet, but in no way pierces her body, under leveled spells got to love them.
Her face shifts into pure rage, and her body ignites into glowing energy, until a fist slams through her back.
A closed fist pulsing with Lin’s core gripped within, and then the light fades, her face becomes empty, life less, the fire in her eyes turning into black husks, before she bursts into light.
The cultivator then drops her core in the loot pile, before going back to meditating, and I stand there staring into the sea of cores.
The sea of Lins “I killed her” panic rushes through my body, my stomach twists as I pick up a core.
The saddest part being, there’s no way to even know if this one even belonged to her.
The blue crystal pulses in my hand, the remains of some creature my minions killed or perhaps some crystal robbed of the chance of becoming like my friend below.
All potentially lives cut short, all lives impacted or destroyed by my decisions.
I collapse to the floor holding the crystal in my hands, gripping it so tightly that the veins in my hands are bulging “I made a choice, many choices” Just like she did, but no one forced her to be obsessed with the idea of enslaving someone, particularly when with just a bit of work we all could have gotten out of here.
There I am laid out on the ground, still, silent, and resembling the very dead my spells so often raise, as my thoughts race through my mind.
I might not know what the right thing is or even where my path will end up taking me, but something is certain.
“I’m going to be better than a slaver, and will do more than just leave destruction in my wake, at least eventually.”
____________________________________________
“MUAHAHA! The dead are mine to command! Fear me mortals, FEAR ME!!!”
‘Slurp’
“So, how was that?!?!!” A buzzing fairy asks while darting around her dungeon core
‘Gaaaarble’ This chapter was copied from g.com without permission.
“Ummmmmm, so is that like a good garble? A bad garble?”
‘Poke’
‘Poke’
‘Poke’
‘Slurp’
“UGHHH! You’re not even paying attention to me! There is so much more to life than just eating my dear minion… I mean dungeon core, bah, why do I even try?!?! My brilliance is wasted upon you!”
‘Poke’
‘Poke’
‘Poke’
“HURRY UP AND EVOLVE ALREADY! I have things that I would like to do, and can’t leave you here completely defenseless.”
‘Thump’
“Now what!” The fairy buzzes to the crack in the wall, drawing her sword the blue blade shimmering, and on the other side is more than a dozen filthy beings made of stone.
Gruff voices drift through the crack
“I’m telling you that I heard something, and look there’s even a bit of light coming off the wall, and even my bounty sense is going off.”
An annoyed grumbling voice responds “And I believe you… the thing is, these entire caverns are filled with bounties from goblins, to monsters that can swallow the lot of us whole, but more importantly, mine isn’t going off. How much is this bounty worth?”
…
…
…
“Umm, at least a couple of hundred credits.”
‘Thump’
“Ow!”
“You want me to rip a stone wall apart, and tunnel through stone! For a couple of hundred credits?!?! My shit is literally worth more than that!”
‘Thump’
The pair turn, and their faces grow pale “Ehh Krom, do you see what I see?” Goblins, a wave of goblins with more appearing every single second.
The two groups stare at each other, and then a specter bursts through one of the walls.
It stares at the crowd of people cluttered in the tunnel with an almost thoughtful expression on their face, and then it releases a wail that causes the very walls to shake.
A beam of fire smashes into the ghost, reducing even their core into nothing more than dust, and for a moment, everything is silent.
Then the walls start to shake as a symphony of wails resonate down the tunnel, and in a blur specters start diving through the walls.
Flinging fireballs, beams of water, spikes of ice, and slashing weapons into the people in the tunnel, before disappearing back into the stone.
“STEADY!” The bounty hunters brace as a wave of golden mana spreads throughout the Nelka who were beginning to panic, but the goblins aren’t as prepared, and crash into the bounty hunters shattering any semblance of order as they try to cut their way through.
“Avoid the goblins if you can, focus on the ghosts, they’re low tier, and everything should be fine as long as we work together but if-”
A pickaxe dives upward from the ground slipping neatly into the gap of the armor of the Nelka who was shouting, and loges the pick into their throat.
Half of the pick disappears inside of the body, before lifting him into the air, and smashes his body into the ceiling of the tunnel.
A spray of blue blood rains upon everyone in the tunnel, as his head becomes separated from his body.
They all watch frozen as his head, and body crash back to the ground, some even watch as the head starts to tumble down the tunnel, but others start running long, before a specter appears out of the ground, and shoves a spear straight through someone else’s eye.
The entire spear passing through their head as they’re pinned against a wall, and then?
They too break, and the undead start to pick them off, as both groups run for their lives.
The fairy’s sword blinks out of existence “MUAHAHA, it seems the gods smile upon me” A predatory grin covers her face, causing her prominent canines shine “Two for one, materials to evolve my core, and materials to make minions! Glorious! I wonder why more dungeon keepers don’t become necromancers?”
She shrugs, before grabbing her core, plopping it into one of her pouches, and pops into the tunnel.
“The question is just, what am I going to do with my new minions? Oh! And what do I want to make!” Her eyes grow wide, and she dives through the crack emerging in a spin with her eyes darting around the tunnel.
And?
There’s just a whole lot of dead bodies, in various mangled states, she flies around poking a few of them with her sword, before with a shrug she places her dungeon core on the chest of one of the bodies.
“Enjoy, and now for me”
She then hovers over the remains of the headless corpse “I choose you.” In a flash of blue mana the fairy dives into the stump.
A spatter of blue blood erupts, and the body starts to shake as the fairy digs her way through the corpse.
After a few minutes of muffled shouting, and what sounds almost like a scream of excitement.
A stream of mangled flesh, and a glowing light burst from the corpse.
The fairy is on the ground, and in her arms is a crystal bigger than she is.
“I think I am in love! Muhahahaha!”
‘Slurp’
“Look what I fou-” About three fourths of the bodies, and everything they possessed are now gone….
Even most of the blood stains along with the ash, the scorch marks, and even any stray pebbles.
The fairy buzzes into the air “I SAID THAT YOU COULD HAVE ONE! ONE BODY!”
‘Grumble’
“Stop eating! And even if I didn’t, you should have known better! Now, how am I supposed to make my unstoppable horde?!?”
‘Slurp’
The core she dug out of the body starts to shake, and in a feat of athleticism that denies reality itself she launches it into the air.
Lifting it above her head, her wings pushing for all they’re worth, and she even manages to get a few feet in the air, before her arms start to shake.
Then she crashes back into the ground a few feet away from the greedy dungeon core.
“FINE!
You can have the rest of them, but this one is mine!” She then starts to stroke it “My precious, we are going to do great things together.” https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!Jz11!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fa0b51798-76c4-4027-a2a5-dd6a995df951_1125x1600.pnghttps://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!eThy!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Ff1609dd3-845e-4637-a572-962ce23dbc04_1600x473.png
Due to formating issues this story doesn’t quite look the way it’s supposed to 0_o and you can read an updated version on Kobo, or other platforms. https://litrpgandpolitics.wordpress.com The story is also at around chapter 60 with around 400,000 words, and will posted once per day, until it’s caught up.
Then it will either be weekly, or twice a week, with that being said, I still welcome any feedback, after all I’m still editing everything 0_0 and different perspectives can so often help one see the things we take for granted.
Thanks for reading, and I hope that you have a great day!