"Pardon my asking, but are you really here for a blind date? You’re not a social media influencer, are you?"
"No, no."
"Are you sure? To be frank, a lot of our female clients are very camera-shy. If you secretly record them during the date, there could be legal risks."
"I’m really not. I’m just here for myself."
"Good. Then let me just confirm one more thing. You currently have no requirements for a partner, is that right?"
"Yes, that’s correct."
"No requirements for gender either?"
"?" Zhang Zhe was taken aback. "Are you messing with me? She has to be a woman, obviously. Is this a matchmaking agency or a gay bar?"
"Ah, right, right. You scared me for a second, too."
The Matchmaker fell silent for a moment. A few minutes passed before she spoke again, telling Zhang Zhe, "Alright, how about I arrange a video date for you tonight at 8?"
"I’ve never encountered a situation like yours before. We’ll have to give it a try."
"I can’t confirm who the date will be just yet. Since you don’t have any requirements, I’ll just send your profile out to all the women. Whoever agrees to a date can join the call. How does that sound?"
"Sounds good." Zhang Zhe nodded.
He felt like this was a done deal.
This situation was just like when he was job hunting and shotgunning his resume everywhere, writing in the salary requirements section:
"The money doesn’t matter, I’m mainly just looking for something to do."
’Wouldn’t opportunities come at me like a torrential downpour?’
「...」
「8:00 PM.」
Zhang Zhe was already waiting in the online meeting room.
A short while later, the Matchmaker and a woman named "Qu Danqin" came online at the same time.
"Hello, Mr. Zhang. Is it convenient for you to turn on your camera?"
"Okay..."
Zhang Zhe nodded while glancing at Qu Danqin’s video feed.
’Whoa!’
An astonished sound escaped him involuntarily.
’How could someone’s face fill up the entire camera frame?’
’Is she that heavy?’
’She looks like a cylinder.’
By comparison, the Matchmaker, with her heavy makeup and garish blush, actually looked quite refined.
Once everyone was present, the Matchmaker took charge:
"We’re a bit short on time, and both parties want to settle down as soon as possible, so let’s keep things simple."
"Let me start by introducing you both."
"Mr. Zhang Zhe, 30 years old, has a bachelor’s degree from a Project 211 university, is 172cm tall, weighs 71kg, currently works in Shenzhen as a software test engineer..."
"Mr. Zhang’s requirements for his other half are: human, female."
"Next, I’ll introduce the woman’s information..."
"Hold on!" Qu Danqin called out, stopping the Matchmaker.
Although her face was quite puffy, her voice was pleasant—crisp and clear. If she were a VTuber, she’d probably be a big hit with college students.
"His requirements for me are that simple?"
"As long as it’s a woman, that’s it?"
"Yes, Mr. Zhang said so himself. I have audio and text records to prove it." The Matchmaker’s survival instinct kicked in, as she could tell the woman was a little angry.
"Then does he have some kind of physical illness?"
"No, I’m very healthy," Zhang Zhe explained proactively. "I can climb twenty flights of stairs without even getting winded."
Zhang Zhe couldn’t care less about the woman’s qualifications. All he needed was to complete this blind date. He was now just a heartless blind-dating machine.
"Then you must have a mental problem!" Qu Danqin said, nodding as if certain of this fact.
Then she told the Matchmaker, "This date doesn’t count."
"You took twenty thousand yuan from me and found a lunatic for my blind date? Is my money that easy to earn?"
"Cancel it, cancel it."
"Don’t!" Zhang Zhe and the Matchmaker said in unison.
But Qu Danqin gave them no chance to explain, immediately leaving the meeting.
The situation became awkward for a moment.
The Matchmaker forced a strained smile at the camera. "Mr. Zhang, how about you add a few requirements after all?"
"Otherwise, no matter which girl shows up, they’re going to suspect something’s wrong with you."
Zhang Zhe nodded, a bit helplessly.
’It seems this kind of shortcut won’t work.’
’But with proper matchmaking, the efficiency is too low if you don’t pay for premium services.’
’Is there an even faster way to find a date?’
After a moment of thought, Zhang Zhe remembered something his mom had mentioned offhandedly during the day. She said there was a very famous local matchmaker named Li Erniang who livestreamed on Douyin every day, helping to connect people.
Mrs. Zhang had watched her streams for a whole month before concluding that "Zhang Zhe’s qualifications made him a real catch among the local single men."
According to Mrs. Zhang, if an outstanding guy like Zhang Zhe went on the stream, the women wanting to join the call with him would probably crash the livestream room.
’Should I give it a try?’
Zhang Zhe hesitated for a moment, then quickly made up his mind.
He could predict that putting himself out there like this would make him a little uncomfortable. He wasn’t usually one for the spotlight.
’But those who want to achieve great things must learn to be shameless.’
’The system is right there; it’d be a waste not to use it.’
「...」
Zhang Zhe quickly found Li Erniang’s livestream room. There weren’t many viewers, only about 300 people, but the bullet comments were scrolling by quickly, which meant they were real, active users.
There were probably quite a few people like Mrs. Zhang, watching on behalf of their children.
Coincidentally, no one was on the call right then, and the host, Li Erniang, was looking down at her phone.
Zhang Zhe didn’t hesitate. He sent a "sunglasses" gift and requested to join the call.
"Oh? Welcome, [BUG Hunter]. Are you looking to come on the stream?"
"Are you a local?"
Zhang Zhe quickly typed a reply, saying he was a local single man who wanted to find a suitable marriage partner through the streamer’s influence.
Going on a streamer’s call to find a partner was pretty common these days.
It wasn’t necessarily about finding someone on the spot. Even if no suitable match was found live, the streamer would edit the recording of the call and post it as a video on their account.
This was basically like advertising yourself on the streamer’s channel.
Seeing Zhang Zhe’s message, the host, Li Erniang, just assumed he was an ordinary guy looking for a date and agreed to the call without much thought.
"Hello, host."
Zhang Zhe faced the camera, feeling a little nervous:
"Let me introduce myself. My last name is Zhang, I’m a local from Han City, and I’m 30 years old this year..."
As Zhang Zhe introduced himself, the bullet comments in the livestream room were already buzzing about him.
[This guy looks pretty clean-cut.]
[He looks like he should be thirty-five.]
[This one’s not bad. I bet some girls would like him.]
[This dude’s too honest-looking. An honest guy like him will probably end up with someone’s baggage.]
"Okay, your stats are pretty good," the host said with a nod. "So why are you still single? Have you ever thought about that?"
"Mainly because I’m too busy with work."
"So you never felt the need for a relationship before?"
"No. I was too tired from work to have the energy to think about it."
Zhang Zhe hadn’t expected her to be so formal, acting as if she wanted to analyze his marital problems.
Luckily, his life story was extremely simple; he was clearly an uninteresting STEM guy. The host asked a few token questions before getting straight to the point:
"I think I have a pretty good understanding of your situation."
"Now, let’s talk about your requirements for a partner."
"I don’t have any requirements," Zhang Zhe answered quickly. "If I had to name one, it would be that they see the blind date through to the end. Don’t just run off. Be polite."
"That requirement of yours is... certainly unique."
The host nodded, clapped her hands, and addressed the viewers:
"Is there anyone in the stream with an unmarried daughter at home, or anyone here looking for a partner themselves? If you think this Mr. Zhang is a good fit, you can come on the stream to chat."
"We’ll wait for five minutes."
A short while later, an account named [Wind-blown Duckweed] joined the call.
The person didn’t have their camera on. A slightly hoarse voice came through, "Good evening, Li Erniang. Good evening, Mr. Zhang. I’m here for the blind date."
"Actually, my experience is very similar to this gentleman’s."
"Oh? Do you also work in Shencheng City?" the host asked, pleasantly surprised.
"That’s not it. I’m the same as him in that I’m also 30 years old."