Zhao Yunxiang couldn’t sleep.
First, she dreamed that her first love from next door had spent ages showering her with attention. Just as her heart began to flutter, he blushed and asked if, when they grew up, he could become her brother-in-law. She scooped up some sheep droppings and tossed them onto his bed, but Feng reported her to their father, and she got a sound beating.
She woke up furious.
In the second half of the night, she dreamed that she led the clan elders[1]Senior members of an extended family lineage who may help manage clan affairs and disputes in traditional Chinese social settings. jQuery('#footnote_plugin_tooltip_3717510_1_1').tooltip({ tip: '#footnote_plugin_tooltip_text_3717510_1_1', tipClass: 'footnote_tooltip', effect: 'fade', predelay: 0, fadeInSpeed: 200, delay: 400, fadeOutSpeed: 200, position: 'top center', relative: true, offset: [-7, 0], }); to catch Feng and the Blind Man in bed together. Before Feng was thrown into the pond, she finally admitted that Zhao Yunxiang was the most beautiful woman in the Zhao family.
She woke up delighted.
When she got out of bed and saw the sky outside just beginning to lighten, she made a solemn decision.
She would bring the Blind Man and Feng together!
The Blind Man wore hemp clothes, tied up his hair with a bamboo hairpin, and even used a walking stick that looked as though a dog had chewed it. Just like Feng… The two of them together practically radiated poverty.
If the two of them got together, either they’d be caught in bed and torn apart like a pair of mandarin ducks[2]Mandarin ducks are a traditional Chinese image of loving couples and enduring romantic attachment. jQuery('#footnote_plugin_tooltip_3717510_1_2').tooltip({ tip: '#footnote_plugin_tooltip_text_3717510_1_2', tipClass: 'footnote_tooltip', effect: 'fade', predelay: 0, fadeInSpeed: 200, delay: 400, fadeOutSpeed: 200, position: 'top center', relative: true, offset: [-7, 0], });, or they’d make a success of it and spend the rest of their lives struggling to make ends meet. A win-win!
After she’d thought it all through, Zhao Yunxiang volunteered to her mother to go to the estate and keep an eye on Feng. While the sky was still only faintly bright, she had the coachman take her there in a carriage. To her surprise, she ran into Su Qinghe, Shopkeeper Su’s youngest daughter, at the village entrance.
Su Qinghe was her future younger sister-in-law, so Zhao Yunxiang naturally knew her. She’d often wanted to get closer to her future sister-in-law, but had never found the chance. And now, of all times, here she was.
It took them a good while to sneak up to each other.
“What are you doing?”
“What are you doing?”
“I’m out for an autumn excursion.”
“I’m just passing through.”
They fell silent for a moment.
At last, Zhao Yunxiang spoke first. “You’re here to see Feng, aren’t you?”
Su Qinghe hesitated, and Zhao Yunxiang said, “Miss Su, there’s no need to hide it. Surely you don’t want her marrying into the Su family either? To be honest, Feng may be my elder sister, but we’ve never gotten along. She’s always putting on a sweet, pitiful act—one face in public, another behind closed doors. I’ll never let her ruin the Su family.”
Su Qinghe eyed her skeptically. “Isn’t it because you’re jealous she’s prettier than you?”
Zhao Yunxiang: …
Why would you say something so painfully true?
“A woman’s virtue is what matters. Looks aren’t important.”
“Good, then—” Su Qinghe patted her chest. “I thought you had a secret crush on my brother and that was why you didn’t want her marrying my father.”
Zhao Yunxiang: …
Su Qinghe asked, “Do you have any way to change your mother’s mind?”
“I just asked around. Feng is living with an unrelated man now. We’ll drug them, put them in the same bed, then call the villagers over to catch them in the act. With the evidence right there, she won’t be able to talk her way out of it.”
Su Qinghe frowned slightly. “Wouldn’t that be too cruel? If she gets caught, her whole life will be ruined!”
Zhao Yunxiang sneered. “Then you can wait to call her Mother and me Aunt Xiang.”
“No!” Su Qinghe shook her head like a rattle. “The day she egged me on to make a scene at your house, I knew she was trouble. If she’s going to be cruel, I’ll be cruel too. But how are the two of us girls supposed to pin her down? I heard she’s incredibly strong. The villagers even ask her to hold the pigs down when they slaughter them.”
“I’ve already prepared for that.” Zhao Yunxiang pulled two handkerchiefs from her sleeve pouch. Su Qinghe snatched one and held it beneath her nose. “What’s that smell… It’s so… foul…”
Zhao Yunxiang’s face went pale. She snatched the handkerchief back. “Good heavens, it’s covered in knockout powder!”
Su Qinghe’s head spun. “Why didn’t you say so earlier?!”
With that, Su Qinghe toppled to the ground.
Zhao Yunxiang pressed a hand to her forehead and couldn’t help cursing, “Useless thing!”
Never mind. She’d have to fly solo.
Zhao Yunxiang was worth two people on her own. First she’d deal with Zhao Jinfeng, then… the Blind Man.
Zhao Yunxiang sneaked up to the old house. Just then, she saw Zhao Jinfeng hanging laundry in the yard. She lightened her steps, took out the handkerchief in her hand, hurried over, and clamped it over Zhao Jinfeng’s mouth from behind.
Zhao Jinfeng struggled once…
Then struggled again.
And once more.
Then Zhao Jinfeng turned around.
Her eyes met Zhao Yunxiang’s.
With one swift elbow strike, Zhao Jinfeng hit her square in the stomach. Zhao Yunxiang nearly vomited bile. She glanced down and only then realized she’d taken the wrong handkerchief—
She’d grabbed the one Su Qinghe had just used!
Su Qinghe had breathed in all the knockout powder!
Before Zhao Yunxiang could react, Zhao Jinfeng landed a solid punch on her chin.
The blow sent Zhao Yunxiang stumbling backward into a row of wooden laundry racks.
“Third Sister?” Only then did Zhao Jinfeng pretend to notice her, putting on a look of panic. She reached out to help Zhao Yunxiang up, but slipped and landed heavily on top of her instead.
Zhao Jinfeng cried out inwardly: My dear little sister, you finally came!
I’ve missed you so much!
Then she clung to Zhao Yunxiang like an octopus, pinning her down and rolling her around on the ground. Zhao Yunxiang spat out a mouthful of blood.
Once Zhao Jinfeng had had enough, she let go. As she spoke, she casually wiped the mud on her hands onto Zhao Yunxiang’s skirt. “Third Sister, you came to visit me?”
Zhao Yunxiang was so furious she almost spat up blood. Clutching her aching chest, she staggered to her feet. “I heard… cough, cough… I heard… you picked up a man while you’re in mourning, and now you live and eat with him…”
She finally managed to catch her breath. “You… at night… do you sleep with him too? Zhao Jinfeng… how dare you! Father’s body isn’t even cold, and you’re here in the old house doing those filthy things with an unrelated man!”
Oh ho!
At last, she’d come to catch them in the act!
Her NPC[3]Short for “non-player character” in video games; in self-aware web fiction it jokingly treats another person as a supporting figure who exists to move the plot along. jQuery('#footnote_plugin_tooltip_3717510_1_3').tooltip({ tip: '#footnote_plugin_tooltip_text_3717510_1_3', tipClass: 'footnote_tooltip', effect: 'fade', predelay: 0, fadeInSpeed: 200, delay: 400, fadeOutSpeed: 200, position: 'top center', relative: true, offset: [-7, 0], }); had arrived!
A blush of shame and anger spread across Zhao Jinfeng’s face. “How can you say such things, little sister? Saving someone’s life is better than building a seven-story pagoda[4]A Chinese Buddhist-influenced saying that saving a life earns greater merit than constructing a grand religious monument. It expresses a moral belief, not a measurable claim. jQuery('#footnote_plugin_tooltip_3717510_1_4').tooltip({ tip: '#footnote_plugin_tooltip_text_3717510_1_4', tipClass: 'footnote_tooltip', effect: 'fade', predelay: 0, fadeInSpeed: 200, delay: 400, fadeOutSpeed: 200, position: 'top center', relative: true, offset: [-7, 0], });. It’s a good deed that earns merit. How can you make it sound so vile?”
“Spare me that nonsense! Where’s your lover?” Zhao Yunxiang headed inside, while Zhao Jinfeng followed behind her, calling excitedly, “I don’t have a lover! I don’t! Don’t slander me, little sister!”
“Still trying to deny it?!” Zhao Yunxiang entered Song Zhi’s room and snatched up the man’s clothing from his bed, flinging it at Zhao Jinfeng’s face—
And, well…
The clothes still carried Number Twelve’s scent.
Number Twelve was very particular about cleanliness.
It only made Zhao Jinfeng love him more.
“Your lover is that blind man we saw at the rouge shop yesterday, isn’t he? Where is he? I’m going to catch you both red-handed…” Zhao Yunxiang couldn’t find Song Zhi anywhere, and grew anxious. Then she remembered that if this plan failed, her mother would surely marry Zhao Jinfeng off to the Su family. Wouldn’t that ruin her chances with the Su family’s Eldest Young Master?
You can’t make an omelet without breaking eggs!
She had to make a huge scandal today about Zhao Jinfeng sleeping with a man!
That way, the Blind Man would have no choice but to marry Zhao Jinfeng!
As for Second Brother’s imperial examination… he might not even pass. Why worry about that now?
Zhao Yunxiang went back into the yard and simply shoved over all the laundry racks. They crashed down with a clatter. Then she rushed into the kitchen and started smashing bowls, shouting at the top of her lungs, “Zhao Jinfeng, you shameless woman! You’re carrying on with an unrelated man while in mourning—you’ve disgraced our parents! Now that I’ve caught you together, I’ll have you both bound and hauled off to the authorities!”
“Will someone come help me? Good heavens, Zhao Jinfeng is trying to silence me!”
Zhao Yunxiang’s voice cracked as she wailed, “Zhao Jinfeng, even if you beat me to death, I’ll still drag you both to the authorities!”
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