The portal itself is roughly 5 meters wide, so we take our positions, all 3 groups at the ready and Karl gives the Jeep a longing look. "Thinking of the Toyota Blitzkrieg tactic aren’t you" I ask.
"Yeah. I really shouldn’t have blown that thing up, that was so much fun."
"Ma Deuce is under the rear seat of the Jeep. Any of you feel up to trying to steady it from a moving Jeep?" Every eye in our group lights up at this suggestion and the two special forces types with the werewolves start running back for the Jeep.
"We’ll bring it here" They shout and the Jeep fires to life, attracting everyone’s attention at the almost flying vehicle racing towards the lines.
"Forgot something already guys?" Someone shouts, inciting a wave of laughter.
"Change of plans" Karl shouts back "Centre group will be leading with an artillery barrage" a look of horror passes over the assembled mages, but a look of intrigue settles into the other supernatural and non magical human forces.
A second grenade launcher is dug from my bags, Lala must have packed me a spare, she’s considerate like that. Mary now appropriately armed, Jake and Jurgen, our two werewolves rig up lanyards to hold the tripod to the roll bar and Alpha Petros takes his position as gunner. Karl straps Mary in half hanging out of the passenger side and I take the off hand position on the drivers side. This is going to be so much fun.
"Wait, wait, wait! We almost forgot the most important part of this entire operation and jinxed it all" Karl shouts, pulling his phone from his pocket and messing with an app. Seconds later, Wagner’s Flight of the Valkyries begins playing at an ear shattering volume an our two humans hop on the rear bumper, signaling they’re ready to go. I can already hear the mixed laughter and groans of the east and west wing forces.
Spitting gravel, the Jeep hurtles towards the portal, everyone doing their best to compensate for the sudden jostling. One Kilometer to the Orc’s North forces, Petros starts to light up their lines with the machine gun.
"Moon Goddess, this thing is ridiculous. Why didn’t we plan to do this from the start?" He yells at Karl.
"Because it pisses off the rest of the mages" Me, Karl and Mary shout back in unison, laughing.
Craters are forming everywhere, green blood is flying and the stench of charred mushrooms fills the air. Wait, Green Orc blood smells like mushrooms? That’s not half bad. The 200 meter mark reached, me and Mary start in with the Grenade launchers, much larger explosions now littering the battlefield at random, the movement of the Jeep serving to make our aim erratic and spread out our shots. Some have even hit the wooden walls of the defensive fortress, entirely missing the massed troops.
These Orcs are NOT happy with us. Shouts and battle cries ring out from every direction and I hear Mary yell in alarm "East Flank is moving to encircle us". Looking to the side I see the west flank also in motion.
"West flank moving to reinforce the defensive lines"
"Allied forces have cleared the portal and are moving to intercept" the soldiers on the back reassure us.
Gunfire is now coming from everywhere, the sky is lit with various colors of magic spells and multiple fires have caught in the grassland, funnelling the flanking forces where we planned for them to be. The entire area has started to resemble a dystopian hellscape, and the battle has barely started. Then the sky turns blood red, black clouds block the sun and red, thick raindrops start to fall on the battle, quickly turning the ground into mud.
"It seems we’ve got a Master Vampire with us today. Don’t fret, the blood rain is Vampire magic, it increases their power and massively speeds up their regeneration." Karl shouts to be heard over the bedlam.
"But it is a really effective psychological attack too" Mary mutters "This place looks like we just invaded hell for a bit of a giggle" Her turn of phrase has me almost in tears of mirth while I dig for another grenade canister.
"We’re out of grenades"
"Last box for the 50 is almost spent" Petros responds, sadness clearly audible in his tone.
"We really should start carrying more ammunition" Karl adds. "Forget that we’re supposed to be noble and mighty Combat Mages, automatic weaponry is where it’s at."
A new thought pops into my mind at his sentiment "Would this even work on Mages?"
"The 50 will, the bullets are spelled. The grenades are just summoned, so most mages barriers will stop them" The Jeep goes silent for a moment as everyone processes this information. It seems Mages can be expected to be bulletproof if you don’t take them by surprise. Valuable information to remember in case we find one later.
The machine gun clicks empty and the wolves quickly remove the straps to pack it away. Looking at our situation I see brass everywhere, and big goofy grins on the faces of everyone in sight. Maybe we really are the crew of weirdos.
"Close or ranged?" Karl shouts
"Close!" All the shifters shout in unision.
With that, Karl plows the Jeep into the defensive lines. Jake, Jurgen, their partners and Petros immediately disembark and form a defensive circle around the Jeep. Karl stands up on his seat and starts firing bolts of magic at the Orcs, while I do my best to free Mary from her restraints.
"How did you even get this tangled up? It’s just a harness and a lanyard?"
"I don’t know, just free me already" Mary pouts back at me, a whip of bright pink energy snaking from her hand to decapitate an Orc that had almost gotten past the humans.
"And free. Let’s join the boys before their kill count gets too far ahead. We’ll never live it down if they think we’re slacking." With this final admonishment I leap into the fray, powering up my clawed gloves.
Green blood flies everywhere. I’m not certain where all an Orc’s vitals are, so I’m going mostly for the throats and hearts, and it’s messy. The mushroom smell of the green viscera is definitely an improvement though, it’s a bit like soup and it’s making me hungry.
"Mushroom soup for dinner?" I howl with a giggle.
"Only if there’s crackers" "With a side of Toast" "Do we have Tuna sandwiches?" Comes the responses. This really is a great group.
We’ve carved a swathe through the defenders now, making a loose semi circle starting around the Jeep. Mary has fallen back to her back line position and is throwing constant refreshes at everyone’s shields. The physical buffs she needs to actually touch us to cast, but they’ve still got a minute or two on them.
"One at a time, fall back to refresh buffs. Humans first" Karl calls, starting the cycle by killing a pair of Orcs with a penetrating spell, giving one of the humans time to fall back and catch his breath.
I notice they’ve given up on their plan of mostly close range shooting and knife work, opting to pick up and use Orcish swords made a viable weapon by the enhancements bestowed on them by Mary. The North Side defensive forces are visibly thinning, though it doesn’t seem to have any effect on the defenders morale. If anything they seem even more excited to have found a good fight and are throwing themselves wholeheartedly at us.
A few minutes and many, many bodies later they start falling back to regroup, covering their comrades as the force gathers behind the walls of the makeshift fortress.
"I’ll take defense, everyone catch your breath and grab something to eat. You’ll need your energy soon." Karl waves at the group, conjuring a shimmering field between us and the base, before creating a lawn chair for himself to relax in.
"I don’t suppose you can make those can you my dear sweet Mary Mage?" I ask, hopeful for a positive answer.
"Not a chance Little Lycan" she giggles "Karl might have a talent for summoning, but that’s its own branch of Magic. I’ve barely learned Arcane spells, I can’t even conjure a cupful of water, much less the glass to put it in.
Damn, well there goes that. Guess I’m sitting on the ground.
Jake and Jurgen were the first back to the Jeep and are tossing meal packs out to the group from a green and black duffel bag marked Dinner. Petros is howling with laughter, but everyone else just looks exhausted. Wondering what’s so funny I scan the battle, finding nothing noteworthy. East and West flanks are contained, though far from subdued. North forces have retreated to the base.
"What’s so funny Alpha?"
He tilts his dinner pack towards me. Chicken breast in mushroom sauce.
Laughing at his (mis?)fortune I dig into the lasagna in my ration pack, wondering how exactly they keep everything both hot, cold and fresh in these little boxes. Certainly it’s magic, but it’s amazing to have a real hot meal on demand in the field. I thought it would be all reheating freeze dried meals and munching on Jerky or trail mix, but it’s more like takeaway from our favorite restaurants. minutes later the food has been inhaled, even Mary has cleaned out one of the oversized boxes.
"Do we have more ammunition?" One of the human soldiers asks. I really do need to find out their names at some point if we’re going to continue working together. That’s when it strikes me, they’re in military uniform, their names should be on their chests. Ramirez and Ramirez. You’ve got to be kidding me. Though looking at them, they’re pretty similar. Maybe they’re related?
"East and West flanks report Orcish forces have retreated to the fort. They’ll be closing an encirclement, we can stay where we are for now. New plan from command expected in 30 minutes" One of the Ramirez boys reports, tapping his earbud.
"Thanks the Moon Goddess" I sigh, laying back down on the muddy ground. "5 minutes was so not enough." Checking over the state of our group I see only small wounds. The humans have a couple bandages on them, and one has his arm tucked close, possibly a shoulder injury. The wolves and Alpha Petros have lingering damage on their clothes, but their wounds seem to have already healed. My clothes on the other hand, have already mended themselves, hiding the last of my healing injuries. Mary looks the worst of all of us, not a mark on her, but she looks absolutely exhausted, like she’s been up for days.
"Catch some sleep while you can, I’ll watch out for you" I suggest, pointing at Karl already asleep in his conjured chair, causing Mary to laugh before moving over to lay her head on my stomach, getting her head out of the mud.
"Wake us up when it’s time to play would you?" I tell Petros and close my eyes, ignoring the amused banter passing between the guys still awake.