Exams. Of all things in this world, Qiu Ci feared exams the most.
Thinking back to the sheer terror of being dominated by monthly tests, midterms, finals, and pop quizzes in those years, and recalling how he had been returned by adoptive families multiple times because of poor exam scores, the mere mention of the old TCM doctor testing him made him feel as though he were sitting on pins and needles.
Yet right now, he was in the middle of recording a show, leaving him with no choice but to bite the bullet and push forward.
“I wonder what the senior wishes to test this junior on?” Qiu Ci put on a calm facade, though his tone lacked any real conviction.
The live stream chat noticed this too, sparking mixed reviews.
“Knowing his own grades are poor, is the little brother feeling inferior here?”
“Could it be a guilty conscience? Some people don’t study properly when they are in school, and only realize their knowledge bank is running dry once they step out into society.”
“He hasn’t even said what he’s going to test yet, what are you guys arguing so fiercely for?”
“Having bad grades when you were a student isn’t exactly glorious, but you can’t just nail a person to the cross based on grades alone.”
“Everyone has been through it, nobody likes exams, let’s all be mutually tolerant.”
The old TCM doctor stroked his beard. “Since you claim to be a physician as well, do you recognize this book?”
Treatise on Cold Damage and Miscellaneous Diseases. It looked rather familiar; even those with no exposure to traditional medicine held some impression of the title.
Qiu Ci was no exception, but his understanding of the book extended only to knowing it was an ancient medical text passed down through history.
He was going to be tested on the knowledge inside this book?
No way? The production team was playing for keeps?
For a moment, Qiu Ci didn’t know what to say.
Fortunately, the progression of events diverged somewhat from what he had imagined.
Casually flipping through the book, the old doctor remarked, “This Treatise on Cold Damage and Miscellaneous Diseases contains roughly fifty thousand characters, recording 397 therapeutic methods and 113 medicinal formulas. Since you call yourself a physician, go ahead and recite five of these medicinal prescriptions.”
Qiu Ci:
Just as he prepared to say something, the old doctor paused for a dramatic breath before continuing: “Considering your youth, I can give you twenty minutes to review.”
Qiu Ci’s emotions felt like a roller coaster. Thank you, could you please avoid such dramatic pauses next time?
That nearly scared him half to death.
Twenty minutes to memorize five prescriptions, averaging only four minutes per prescription, it was undeniably difficult.
The word count for a single prescription wasn’t particularly high, making it look deceptively simple, but the real difficulty lay in the names of the medicinal ingredients.
For an ordinary person unfamiliar with traditional medicine, pronouncing the names of certain herbs felt thoroughly awkward, let alone ensuring that the dosage for each ingredient was accurately remembered.
The moment memorization came up, the live stream chat room started bickering again.
“Isn’t this Qiu Ci that fresh-faced idol who trended on search lists for not memorizing his lines a while back?”
“He doesn’t memorize lines while filming dramas, but now that it is a live broadcast, surely he can’t get away without memorizing this?”
“If he fails to recite this, acting like an entitled big shot is undisputed.”
“I want to see what little tricks he pulls out of his sleeve this time.”
“Hilarious. Given his track record, let alone giving him 20 minutes to memorize five prescriptions, he might not manage it even in two hours.”
“I’ll place a bet. If Qiu Ci actually memorizes them, I’ll do a handstand and shit.”
“The person above is an absolute lunatic.”
Hearing the old doctor’s demand, Qiu Ci instead stopped panicking, accepting the medical book calmly.
“Can I find the five prescriptions I need to memorize first?”
Since he had to recite them, he couldn’t afford to make a fool of himself during the live stream. At the very least, he needed to select five prescriptions devoid of obscure or archaic characters.
Ahem, this was the final struggle of an academic zero.
Since this was a variety show shoot after all, the old doctor didn’t deliberately make things difficult for him, granting him one minute to select the prescriptions.
Qiu Ci wasted no time, flipping rapidly through the pages, only to realize to his horror that this book was printed in traditional Chinese characters! And printed vertically in columns to boot. He was completely numb.
Right at that moment, Jiuer crouched down before him, taking the Treatise on Cold Damage and Miscellaneous Diseases from his hands. His slender fingers flew across the pages, scanning with blistering speed. In less than a minute, he had picked out five prescriptions containing no obscure characters and a minimal number of ingredients.
“If you don’t know how to look, ask me.”
A wave of warmth washed over Qiu Ci. He whispered his thanks before informing the old doctor that he had made his selection.
Nodding in approval, the old doctor leisurely pulled out an alarm clock. “You spent one minute just now, so I am deducting one minute from your time.”
Qiu Ci: So much for recording shows without making things difficult!
Fine, fine. There was no time left to dawdle or argue either, as the old doctor had already pressed the timer button.
True to form for Jiuer, the five prescriptions he selected were remarkably straightforward. Whenever he encountered a herbal name with a somewhat fuzzy recognition in his mind, he consulted Jiuer.
Jiuer answered his questions patiently and gently.
At this point, maintaining face was entirely out of the window. He was an academic zero anyway, a fact the entire internet already knew.
Completing the task successfully today was what mattered most.
Uh, though if he really thought about it, this was a variety show recording, meaning the program would move forward regardless. In other words, even if he couldn’t recite them, there would be alternative ways to proceed, such as accepting minor punishments or the like.
Yet Qiu Ci possessed a stubbornly persistent disposition; since he had agreed to memorize them, he was going to try his best. Even if he couldn’t manage all five, reciting four would still be a decent outcome, ensuring that he had given it his absolute all at this very moment.
He hadn’t slacked off, nor had he let down the adorable older sister fans who liked him.
The twenty minutes passed swiftly. When the alarm sounded, Qiu Ci didn’t try to cheat, quietly closing the book, closing his eyes, and struggling to prevent the contents from slipping out of his head.
“Alright, senior.” Qiu Ci handed the book back. “The five prescriptions I will recite are Chaihu Decoction, Wenjing Decoction, Minor Blue Dragon Decoction, Minor Jianzhong Decoction, and Banxia Xiexin Decoction.”
The old doctor nodded and motioned for him to begin.
With the book freshly put down, Qiu Ci’s memory remained remarkably vivid, but he was genuinely terrified of his own goldfish memory. Thus, the moment the old doctor gave the green light, his little mouth started chattering away at such breakneck speed that anyone failing to listen closely would have struggled to catch what he was saying.
A smile touched the corners of Jiuer’s eyes. The Qiu Ci before him right now was vivid and real, standing right in front of him in the flesh rather than being a fleeting fragment of spiritual aura he could only capture within the void.
The old doctor had spent a lifetime reading medical texts and treating patients. While he might not recite the Treatise on Cold Damage backward, those prescriptions were deeply carved into his very bones.
As Qiu Ci recited, the old doctor kept his eyes closed, occasionally nodding in approval.
The live stream chat erupted in astonishment.
“No way, he actually memorized it.”
“Is this even correct? I could barely make out what he was saying.”
“An engineering student dog majoring in TCM here to personally verify: Qiu Ci’s recitation is completely correct.”
“That is genuinely impressive, memorized in just 20 minutes.”
“Little brother Qiu Ci is just that awesome, hehe.”
“With this kind of capability, scripts can’t possibly be harder than herbal prescriptions. Why didn’t he do this earlier?”
“Where is that brother who bet on doing a handstand and shitting earlier?”
“His memory retention is actually decent. Hopefully Qiu Ci will be more professional from now on, memorizing scripts and lines is bound to be much easier than medicinal prescriptions.”
Shortly after, Qiu Ci finished his recitation, though lingering nervousness remained in his heart. “Senior, did I get any of it wrong?”
The old doctor offered an appreciative smile. “The young man is quite commendable. This old man will tentatively believe you are a physician.”
Ah, they were moving along with the plot once more.
Qiu Ci adopted a serious tone as well. “Now that the plague is running rampant, this junior descended the mountain precisely for this plague. I managed to concoct a medical prescription a few days ago, which should be able to banish this affliction.”
The old doctor looked thoughtful, nodding slowly. “So be it. Though this old man has practiced medicine for half a lifetime, I remain entirely helpless against this plague. I wonder what assistance this young physician requires from me?”
What assistance?
Qiu Ci recalled his character plot. After coming down the mountain, nobody believed he was a doctor, and nobody was willing to head up the mountain to gather herbs, therefore…
“Senior, one of the medicinal ingredients in this junior’s prescription needs to be harvested from the mountain. Since this junior has limited mobility, I wonder if senior could help organize some uninfected townspeople to head up the mountain and gather the herbs.”
The old doctor burst into hearty laughter. “Young physician, you flatter this old man too much. I am merely a destitute doctor with neither power nor influence. How could I possibly persuade the townspeople to climb the mountain for herbs?”
Huh? This?
How was he supposed to advance the plot now?
Qiu Ci wrinkled his nose, this plot felt wrong. He glanced toward the fixed-position cameras around them before looking back at the old doctor’s historical costume, confirming he hadn’t approached the wrong NPC.
At that moment, Jiuer stepped forward. “Senior, our young divine doctor has spent long years residing deep in the mountains and is truly unfamiliar with these parts. For the sake of the entire city’s residents, we hope senior can point out a clear path.”
Qiu Ci’s eyes lit up. Right, why hadn’t he thought of it? If the old doctor couldn’t help directly, there had to be other prerequisites to unlock.
The production team certainly wouldn’t let him pass this easily.
The old doctor feigned deep thought before speaking. “There is a gentry squire in the city with considerable background. However, his younger brother recently fell ill. Although it is not the plague, he has failed to improve despite taking several doses of medicine prescribed by this old man. Why don’t the young physician go take a look? If you can cure him, perhaps the squire can lend you a hand.”
Qiu Ci understood, this meant finding the next NPC.
He executed a theatrical bow toward the old doctor from his wheelchair. “Many thanks, senior. This junior will take his leave.”
The old doctor roared with laughter once again. “Go on then.”
Qiu Ci immediately raised his head to look at Jiuer, who gave a slight nod and pushed the wheelchair forward once more.
Before they cleared the main entrance, the old doctor chased after them.
“Little handsome, wait a moment.” The old doctor moved with brisk strides, his pace entirely uncharacteristic of a white-haired elderly man.
“Senior?” Qiu Ci was spun around in his wheelchair again. “Is there anything else?”
Since the old doctor had addressed him as “little handsome,” it meant they were stepping out of character for a moment.
“Young fellow, step over here for a second.” Relying on the pulse he had felt just moments ago, the old doctor had decided he needed to have a word with the young man.
There was no sense in avoiding medical advice when one needed it, after all.
Qiu Ci looked bewildered, but still had Jiuer push him right beside the old doctor. “Senior, please speak.”
The cameraman assumed it was a private matter and tactfully stepped away, beginning to film the old-fashioned TCM clinic step by step.
The live stream audience refused to let it go that easily.
“Is there anything this noble VIP is forbidden from watching?”
“What is going on? Why does the old TCM doctor need to speak with little brother Qiu Ci in private?”
“The old doctor just took Qiu Ci’s pulse. Could it be that Qiu Ci is sick? And it’s inconvenient to discuss it in front of the camera?”
“This reminds me of the legend of the old TCM doctor who could diagnose tumors bare-handed.”
“My god, what on earth is happening?”
The live stream chat, the cameraman, and the three individuals at the center of attention all seemed to forget that even though the camera couldn’t capture them, the microphones worn by Qiu Ci and Jiuer remained switched on.
“Ahem, here is the thing. I felt your pulse just now,” the old doctor lowered his voice. “How old are you this year?”
“Just turned eighteen.” Qiu Ci remained baffled, but answered honestly.
The old doctor nodded. “Adult age is fine. Young fellow, you haven’t found a partner yet, have you?”
Qiu Ci grew even more bewildered, but subconsciously cast a glance toward Jiuer, his gaze drifting with insufficient confidence. “Not yet. Is something wrong with my body?”
The old doctor pondered for a moment. “Ahem, nothing major. You’re just rather abstinent in your daily life, aren’t you, young man?”
Qiu Ci: “??? Huh???”
What the hell? What kind of question was that???
Though, well… he… um… he knew what it was referring to, but his thoughts regarding that sort of thing genuinely tended to be rather apathetic.
The old doctor smiled. “The problem is minor. You’re an adult now anyway. For a young man, proper release is beneficial for your health.”
Pausing briefly, he added, “Even if you don’t have a partner, DIY is a reliable way to take care of needs.”
With a sudden rush of blood, Qiu Ci’s face flushed crimson. What kind of restricted, unsuitable-for-children topic was this?
“W-Why are you telling me this?”
“It matters.” The old doctor smiled with an air of profound mystery. “Bottling things up for too long is bad for the body, especially for vigorous young men like you.”
With that, he patted Qiu Ci’s shoulder. “Rest assured, I will keep it confidential. Besides, it’s nothing major, we’ve all been young once.”
Watching the old doctor hum a little tune as he turned and strolled away, Qiu Ci was completely petrified.
He had once heard others say that when visiting a TCM practitioner, you must never bring your elders along, because your pulse would betray your deepest secrets, nothing you experienced could ever escape an experienced TCM doctor’s eyes.
Creak, creak, creak. Qiu Ci stiffly rotated his neck, wanting to check Jiuer’s expression. Ahhhhh, why did such a topic have to be brought up right in front of Jiuer of all people? He felt like he wanted to die of embarrassment right then and there.
Jiuer wore a contemplative look, which promptly melted into an undulating, deeply amused smile.
Qiu Ci: “…” I’m finished, I’m a goner.
“Teacher Qiu Ci, are we ready?” The cameraman’s voice pulled him back to reality.
“Y-Yes, we’re ready.” Qiu Ci spoke with a stutter. “Let’s continue, let’s record the show first.”
Jiuer neither said nor did anything in front of the camera, fulfilling his role as a medicine boy with professional dedication as he once again reenacted the feat of lifting Qiu Ci and his wheelchair together.
The live stream chat room, however, no longer had any spare attention to appreciate Jiuer’s boyfriend energy.
The conversation between the old TCM doctor and Qiu Ci had been transmitted into the viewers’ ears completely, word for word.
“Hahahahaha, the little brother is already an adult, so I suppose he’s old enough for that sort of thing, hahahaha.”
“How long has the little brother been bottling it up for? Even the old doctor felt compelled to offer a word of advice, hahahaha.”
“This goes to show that little brother Qiu Ci is a good, well-behaved boy, tsk tsk tsk.”
“This old father can finally rest easy.”
“Hahahaha, though really, why do I find this so funny?”
“For a young man, DIY isn’t anything shameful either, hahahaha.”
“Damn it, I wonder if Qiu Ci will die of shame once he realizes we all heard that.”
“Look at little brother Qiu Ci right now, he’s completely petrified. Oh wait, look at those ears, they’re bright red, hahahaha.”
“Sigh, what is there to be shy about.”
“Our boy is finally growing up.”
The old TCM doctor’s remarks pushed the popularity of Qiu Ci’s live stream room to yet another peak.
That wasn’t even the end of it.