Two agents flanked him, supporting his weight—his right foot was broken—as they walked briskly toward the car parked by the curb.
They had barely taken a few steps—
*CRASH!*
A broken refrigerator suddenly dropped out of a fifth-floor window, landing right on Coulson’s forehead.
His eyes rolled back into his head, and he passed out cold on the spot as blood spurted from his temple.
The two agents holding him up were knocked off their feet by the impact, falling to the ground covered in blood and losing consciousness immediately.
“Talk about… terrible luck!!”
The remaining two froze in place, their mouths hanging open wide enough to fit an egg.
Before the words had even settled, an old-fashioned television set was hurled from above.
*THUD!*
Both agents collapsed on impact, their foreheads split open.
…
Half an hour later.
In a SHIELD internal medical center, Coulson slowly opened his eyes on a hospital bed.
“Coulson, what on earth happened?”
Nick Fury stood beside the bed, his brow deeply furrowed.
“Director… I suspect there’s something wrong with the Lucky Rabbit’s Foot Constantine gave me!!!”
Coulson shook his heavy head, his words slurred—after all, his two front teeth had just been knocked out.
“What kind of problem?” Fury’s expression shifted slightly.
“He said the thing brings good luck,” Coulson said, his tone urgent and aggrieved.
“But I think it only grants good luck *once*, and then it backfires like crazy, dumping every terrible piece of bad luck imaginable on you!”
“Anyone who touches it gets cursed.”
Fury’s eye twitched.
“Just touching it counts?”
“Uh…” Coulson froze.
“Director, you… you didn’t touch it too, did you?”
Fury shook his head with a dark expression.
“No. I didn’t touch it.”
*CRASH!*
The moment the words left his mouth, a concrete slab in the hospital room’s ceiling snapped and crashed straight toward his head!
[Shock points from Nick Fury +800] [Shock points from Phil Coulson +900] [Shock points from SHIELD Agent +2] [Shock points from Hydra-SHIELD Agent +2] [Shock points from Alexander Pierce +600]
…
“Yo, looks like this rabbit’s foot has quite a few ‘benefactors.'”
Inside a Chinese restaurant in Chinatown, Luke Lane paused with his chopsticks, raising his eyebrows in slight surprise.
He had dumped the rabbit’s foot on his clone and hadn’t spared it a thought since, never expecting Constantine to use it to prank SHIELD.
To that, he had only one thing to say:
Nice job!
“Mr. Lane??”
The elderly Chinese man sitting across from him, well over sixty, let out a few dry coughs before speaking in a raspy voice.
“Mr. Lane, if you think the price is too high, I can lower it a bit more. We’re both Chinese, and leaving the place in your hands gives me peace of mind.”
“That won’t be necessary, Old Lee.”
Luke Lane smiled and waved his hand.
“Your asking price is very fair. I’m completely satisfied.”
“That’s good, that’s good.”
The old man smiled with squinted eyes.
“I could tell right away you’re reliable and grounded. Let me offer a few blessings in advance: may your business thrive and your future be bright.”
“It’s just a small psychological counseling office, Old Lee. You flatter me.”
Luke Lane gave a soft wave of his hand and smiled.
Having been idle for so long, he felt the urge for a change of pace!
Now that his personal safety was fundamentally guaranteed, he didn’t want to stay cooped up in his villa all day.
Humans are social creatures after all; living in long-term isolation was bound to grow dull.
So he had Red Queen forge a legitimate identity for him as a Stanford University psychology graduate, and used that background to open a counseling office locally.
“Starting your own practice at such a young age makes you a standout among your peers,” Old Lee praised Luke with a warm chuckle, though his sweet talk turned into a sigh a moment later.
“Not like me—getting old, with nothing left to do but return to my roots and retire back in the motherland.”
“That’s only natural. It’s a good thing.”
“Haha, Mr. Lane, you spoke right to my heart! Just for that, I’ll knock off another fifty thousand. Come on, let’s sign the contract!”
…
Half an hour later, the two signed the agreement and stepped out of the restaurant, agreeing to find a lawyer another day to finalize the notarization.
Though Old Lee looked advanced in years, he was actually quite stylish.
Slipping on a pair of sunglasses, he patted the Dodge Challenger parked outside and said cheerfully, “Little Lane, want a ride? This muscle car’s got some real kick to it!”
“No need—”
Just as Luke opened his mouth to decline, his peripheral vision caught sight of a massive rock flying from the distance, hurtling straight toward the back of the old man’s head.
“Look out!”
His eyes narrowed, and with a swift blur of motion, he dragged the old man aside.
*CRASH!*
Carrying immense momentum, the boulder smashed violently into the Dodge Challenger parked by the curb.
The vehicle crumpled instantly, but the rock’s momentum wasn’t exhausted—it rolled a few more times and slammed straight through a brick wall of the Chinese restaurant, collapsing it.
“Phew… thanks for pulling me out of the way, Little Lane!”
Still shaken, the old man frantically patted his chest, taking several heavy gasps before catching his breath.
Once his heart calmed down a bit, he turned his head and saw his beloved ride already squashed into a twisted hunk of scrap metal.
Fuming with rage, his mustache bristled as his eyes went wide.
“Bah! Which rotten, brainless bastard—”
Mid-curse, he froze, mouth half-open, staring blankly into the distance: several attack helicopters were encircling and relentlessly bombarding a giant, terrifying, greenish creature.
Only after a long pause did he let out a deep sigh, shaking his head.
“The feng shui in this place must be completely ruined. Every couple of days some monster pops up out of nowhere—damn cursed place!”
“As long as you’re safe.”
Luke’s eyes swept over the thrashing green figure.
A faint glint flickered in the depths of his pupils as a slight smile curved his lips.
“Old Lee, it’s too dangerous here. We need to evacuate quickly.”
“Right, right, right! How could regular folks like us handle a scene like this?”
Old Lee nodded repeatedly and turned to leave, calling back as he stepped away, “Little Lane, don’t just stand there daydreaming! Come on!”
“You go ahead. I need to use the bathroom.”
Luke smiled and waved his hand, turning around to slip into the Chinese restaurant’s restroom.
…
“HULK!!!”
Relentlessly pursued and bombarded by the helicopters, the green beast flew into a complete rage.
Bending down, he scooped up a massive slab of shattered concrete and hurled it violently into the sky!
This was Lower Manhattan, New York, right adjacent to Chinatown.
Many Chinese residents witnessed this terrifying spectacle firsthand, fleeing into buildings or scattering blindly to escape the battlefield.
But the crowds on the streets were far too dense.
Some had no time to react at all—like a young Chinese girl wearing a red dress and leather shoes.
She froze in place, holding a half-melted ice cream cone, her little face pale as snow, forgetting even how to cry.
The US military in the Marvel world was infamous for its utter recklessness.
The soldiers on the mission didn’t give a damn about collateral damage, unleashing heavy mounted machine guns in a sweeping deluge of fire right at Hulk’s position.
Bullets poured like torrential rain, weaving a deadly net of metal that caught the young girl straight in its lethal zone.
“Annie!!!”
Her parents, standing dozens of meters away, saw her in an instant.
It felt like a knife had been plunged straight into their hearts.
Their eyes turned bloodshot as tears streamed down uncontrollably.
In the nick of time, a pair of hands steadily wrapped around the young girl’s waist, whisking her light as a feather out of the barrage’s line of fire.
The one who had stepped in was a young man with blue hair and blue eyes, wearing a black suit with suspenders.
His features were handsome and refined, with a small ponytail tied neatly at the back of his neck.
At the moment, his eyes were half-lidded with a lazy smile, watching with keen interest as Hulk battled the military in the sky above.
This time, Luke Lane hadn’t sent a shadow clone; he was here in his true body.
Of course, his current appearance was still that of Zhuge Qing: blue hair and blue eyes, crisp and clear facial features, narrow eyes perpetually half-lidded in a half-awake, half-asleep expression, every gesture oozing an effortless, casual poise.
This face was undeniably charming to people of all ages and genders.
Case in point: the little girl he had just saved tilted her head up, blinking her bright, watery eyes, and piped up, “Mister, you’re so handsome!”
“And you’re sweet as candy.”
Luke Lane chuckled, ruffling the little hair bun on top of her head before gently placing her down.
“Annie!!!”
Her parents rushed forward weeping, pulling their daughter into a fierce hug, their shoulders shaking violently as they sobbed incoherently.
“You two, it’s not safe here. Take your daughter and leave quickly.”
Luke looked up at Hulk and the approaching military aircraft drawing ever closer, his expression quietly turning cold.
Firing heavy machine guns, autocannons, and even anti-tank missiles right in the middle of a densely populated downtown core where every square foot was prime real estate—only the US military in the Marvel world possessed such reckless disregard.
“Yes, yes, yes… Thank you! Thank you so much for saving our Annie!”
Realizing the impending danger, the couple bowed repeatedly in gratitude before scooping up their daughter and sprinting into the distance.
“Mister, aren’t you running with us?”
Clutching her father’s neck, the little girl waved urgently and called out.
“I still have something to take care of. You go home first, Annie.”
Luke glanced back at the bustling streets of Chinatown behind him, waving with a warm smile.
Before his voice even faded, he stepped forward, walking unhurriedly into the smoke-filled war zone.
*BOOM!*
*BOOM!
BOOM!*
The US military truly showed no restraint whatsoever.
Shrapnel flew wildly, shattered stone sprayed into the air, rockets screeched down trailing white smoke, and anti-tank missiles ripped through the air, turning the entire street into a scorched ruin in an instant.
Aside from the thick-skinned, damage-absorbent Hulk who could still leap around stumbling, not a single living creature within a hundred-meter radius remained standing.
Except for Luke Lane.
As if predicting the trajectory of every bullet and shell in advance, he dodged at the last split second with a slight sidestep, a nimble shift, or a subtle tilt of his head.
The infernal, fire-swept battleground felt like a casual stroll down a tree-lined avenue under his feet.
[Shock points from Ordinary Soldier +0.5] [Shock points from Ordinary Soldier +0.5] [Shock points from Emil Blonsky +400] [Shock points from General Ross +400]
…
“Who is that?”
Inside the cabin of an attack helicopter, General Ross asked his adjutant in a low voice, his jaw tightly clenched and eyes razor-sharp.
The adjutant shook his head in confusion.
“No idea, sir. It’s like he appeared out of thin air.”
“Useless! What are you standing there for? Check right now!” General Ross’s face darkened as he barked the order.
“Yes… sir!”
Sweating bullets from his forehead, the adjutant pulled out a mini computer, his fingers flying across the keys.
After a flurry of typing, he looked up with a crestfallen expression.
“General, none of the military databases match his information. I checked the NYPD system too—no record. Even customs and border control records came back completely blank.”
“Not even an entry record?”
“Not a thing, sir.”
General Ross furrowed his brows in deep thought for a moment before grabbing the radio and issuing a decisive command: “All units, hold fire! Herd Hulk toward that Asian youth who just appeared!”
“Wind Eagle One, roger!”
“Wind Eagle Two, roger!”
…
*Chop-chop-chop!*
Upon receiving the order, the attack helicopters hovering in the air ceased fire in unison, lowering their fuselages slightly as they roared directly over Hulk’s head.
As they swooped past, several high-explosive aerial bombs were dropped right beside him.
*BOOM!*
The shockwave of the explosion blanketed Hulk in soot and smoke.
Though his thick skin rendered him completely unscathed, those buzzing steel flies darting around finally blew his temper sky-high.
Throwing his head back with a roar, he slammed his fists violently against his bulging chest and leaped into the air, lunging straight for the attack helicopter—determined to tear those noisy iron birds from the sky and smash them to pieces.