On the streets of New York, a naked man and a man wearing nothing but a bath towel were putting on an absurd chase scene, with a group of exhausted police officers running after them.
Police!
Kazuma!
Gintoki!
In the end, thanks to the hidden blessing of Satou Kazuma’s EX-rank Luck, the two men stumbled and tumbled their way through a heavy wooden door and into an abandoned church.
BANG!
The heavy door slammed shut behind them, completely cutting off the blaring sirens outside.
The church was dim and silent.
Only a few faint rays of moonlight filtered through the stained-glass windows, illuminating the dust drifting through the air.
Kazuma and the silver-haired natural perm leaned against the door like two fish out of water, collapsing onto the floor and gasping for breath.
“Haa… haa… you… you bastard!”
Kazuma was the first to break the silence.
He pointed at the other man, his finger trembling.
“Because of you, I ran two marathons tonight! So tell me, fellow traveler… what’s your name?!”
The silver-haired man glanced at him weakly.
His dead-fish eyes traveled up and down Kazuma’s stomach, lingering on the writing.
Then he lazily answered:
“Sakata Gintoki. And you, Mr. Excalibur?”
“Satou Kazuma!”
A vein bulged on Kazuma’s forehead.
“Don’t call me that!”
Gintoki picked his nose, looking completely unconcerned.
After a brief standoff, both men were too exhausted to say another word.
They dragged themselves over to a row of dusty wooden pews and sat down.
The church fell silent once again.
“Hey.”
Kazuma couldn’t hold back any longer.
He looked at the strange man sitting beside him.
“What did you do before this? How did you… end up like me? I mean… you know…”
His question was somewhat vague, but the meaning was obvious.
How the hell did you cross worlds without any clothes on?
Kazuma’s question was like a key.
It opened a dark, cobweb-covered room in Sakata Gintoki’s mind—a room he would have preferred to keep sealed forever.
Gintoki’s expression instantly stiffened.
For once, a flicker of emotion appeared in those dead-fish eyes, as though he’d just witnessed something truly horrifying.
The reason he’d arrived in this world in the same socially catastrophic state as Satou Kazuma could be traced back to one fateful drinking party.
A drinking party that had shattered his worldview and left him regretting his life choices forever…
That day had been the grand year-end gathering for the entire Kabukicho district.
The Yorozuya’s low dining table had been moved into Otose’s snack bar, where it was surrounded by people.
Shinpachi was still futilely trying to play the role of the only normal person in the room, desperately attempting to stop everyone from drinking sake like it was water.
Kagura, meanwhile, was hugging a rice bowl larger than her own head.
Her mouth was stuffed with rice and vinegar kombu as she incoherently traded insults with Sougo Okita at the next table.
Miss Tae wore a smile that could only be described as “nuclear-grade friendliness” while personally distributing the ominous fried rice she’d made—a dish that looked and smelled like pure dark matter.
Kyubei silently stood guard beside Tae, shooting icy glares at any male creature who dared approach her.
Old Lady Otose and Catherine were already bright red from drinking.
They had their arms around each other’s shoulders and were drunkenly singing an off-key enka song.
And Gintoki himself, as the owner of the Yorozuya in Kabukicho, was naturally the center of attention. This chapter was taken from g.com without permission.
Or at least, that’s what he believed.
A bottle of alcohol in his left hand and a plate of sweets in his right, Gintoki weaved through the crowd.
He kept drinking from seven in the evening until his consciousness became hazy and the entire world started spinning.
When he woke up the following morning, his head felt as though it were about to explode.
He discovered that he was lying in an unfamiliar room beneath a soft bedsheet.
He pushed himself upright.
The sheet slid down his body, revealing his completely naked form.
“Crap… I really overdid it last night…”
He rubbed his messy natural curls.
His memories of the drunken night were completely blank.
“I didn’t… do anything weird while drunk, did I?”
He cautiously glanced to the side.
There was still the unmistakable shape of another person beneath the sheets.
Who was it?
Gintoki’s heart sank.
Cold sweat immediately broke out across his body.
Please…
Please don’t let it be someone he knew!
God, please!
Let it be some gorgeous blonde woman he’d never met before.
And if it couldn’t be that, then at least don’t let it be…
He frantically prayed inside his head as his trembling hand slowly reached for the blanket.
He lifted it.
Then he saw a wrinkled face.
A face covered in wrinkles that was somehow forcing itself into an expression resembling shyness.
It was Old Lady Otose.
Gintoki’s world stopped.
He thought his eyes were playing tricks on him.
Maybe he was still drunk.
He immediately dropped the blanket back over her and vigorously shook his head.
Then he took a deep breath.
Once again, he yanked the blanket away with lightning speed.
It was still that face.
Otose even smacked her lips and began waking up.
Then she and Gintoki stared directly into each other’s eyes.
Otose looked just as bewildered.
BOOOOM—!!!
Something called common sense and something called dignity shattered inside Gintoki’s mind.
They didn’t merely crack.
They shattered into dust.
His entire body seemed to turn black and white.
His pupils dilated.
His mouth hung open in an O-shape.
In the background of his mind, countless crows seemed to be flying past while cawing:
“Caw… caw…”
The legendary Shiroyasha, once feared by his enemies and, according to his own claims, the dream man of countless young women.
And yet…
He had apparently gotten drunk and…
with an old woman who was who-knew-how-many decades older than him…
His entire reputation!
Ruined in a single night!
A powerful wave of nausea surged from his stomach.
Gintoki desperately suppressed the urge to vomit as he trembled his way out of bed.
He hurriedly grabbed his scattered clothes and his wooden sword, Lake Toya.
No.
He had to get back to the Yorozuya immediately!
He needed to ask Shinpachi and Kagura what the hell had happened after he’d gotten drunk.
What kind of earth-shattering, morally unforgivable catastrophe had taken place?!
Clutching his clothes and wooden sword, he yanked open the door and rushed outside without thinking.
But the familiar wooden hallway wasn’t there.
His foot landed on nothing.
His entire body seemed to be sucked into an invisible vortex.
The next moment, something cold and hard met the soles of his feet.
The shrill honking of cars and unfamiliar languages flooded his ears.
Towering steel buildings surrounded him, their neon lights flashing against the night sky.
Sakata Gintoki stood naked in an unfamiliar, deserted alley, his clothes and wooden sword clutched in his hands.
Fortunately, there weren’t many people around where he’d arrived, and it was already late.
Unfortunately, before he could even figure out what was happening, a pair of glaring headlights swept across the alley.
A police cruiser slowly stopped at the entrance.
The doors opened.
Two police officers stepped out.
Their hands rested on their holsters as they shone flashlights at him and loudly ordered him in English to stay where he was.
Arrest?
What kind of joke was that?!
There was no way Sakata Gintoki was going to sit around and wait to be arrested.
He didn’t even put the two guns in his eyes.
He turned around and bolted.
Everything that happened afterward was the infamous naked chase…
and his “once-in-a-century encounter” with another unfortunate bastard.
…………
Gintoki pulled himself out of those unbearable memories and shuddered.
Absolutely not.
Under no circumstances was he going to tell the strange guy with “Excalibur” written across his stomach about this humiliating black history that could destroy his reputation for the rest of his life.
He looked at Kazuma’s intensely inquisitive expression.
Then he cleared his throat.
His lazy, dead-fish-eyed expression returned.
While casually cleaning his ear with his little finger, he said in a completely indifferent tone:
“Huh? Me? I just went to sleep. When I woke up, I was here.”
He shrugged.
“Pretty weird, huh?”
Then he glanced at Kazuma.
“What about you, Kazuma?”