“Joker, how are things on your end?”
“Well…
it’s not easy without a copilot…”
Joker smirked and looked at me, his hands dancing over holographic panels, controlling the ship.
“…but I’m managing.
She’s a wonderful ship!
Responsive and gentle, like a hired asari in a brothel…”
A lecherous grin spread across the pilot’s lips.
“Well, it’s good the ship’s nice…”
I nodded with satisfaction.
“…but there must be downsides too?”
“The Normandy is the perfect ship!”
“Joker…”
I frowned slightly.
“…this is an experimental ship.
If you keep praising it, other pilots — not as good as you — will just die flying ships like this.
So a list of ALL flaws needs to be compiled, with notes on why they’re flaws, and suggestions for how to fix them.”
“Ugh…
paperwork again…”
Joker sighed dramatically.
“I see discipline is completely out the window with you…”
A voice sounded behind me, making me flinch slightly.
I’m not used to anyone being able to walk so quietly on a ship.
Especially not sneaking up on the second-in-command.
Though…
I only became second-in-command now.
Before this, if I was on a ship at all, I was just leading the ground team.
But as they say, you get used to the good things fast.
And this little ship is about to become mine.
“Well, why not…”
I shrugged carelessly, turning my head slightly to look at Nihlus — the one who might soon become a corpse.
“…our chain of command is just fine.
That was a private conversation, not an officer-subordinate one.
If we’d been following protocol, Joker would have been standing at attention and I wouldn’t have been this relaxed.
But then, we wouldn’t be going anywhere — we’d be getting strictly formal answers.”
I allowed a faint smirk.
“By the way, Spectre, mind if I ask a question…”
“Hm?”
“I’ve always wondered — Spectres rarely work together, right?”
“Let’s say that.”
He gave me a suspicious look.
“But what happens when you meet another Spectre on a mission…
someone you know…
maybe your own protégé, someone you recommended, or just someone you’ve worked with before?
How do you determine if they’ve sold out to the enemy?”
“What do you mean?”
Nihlus’s voice dropped several degrees.
“Well…
‘sold out’ might be a bit strong, but everyone has their weaknesses.
Some have families, some genuinely love money, some are just careerists who got help from outside and are now being blackmailed, some have ideological reasons…
in short, you run into some asari Spectre — how do you act?
Do you take off your helmet, go in for a hug, ask how she’s doing, pull out a flask and offer to split it?
Or do you level your gun at her and demand answers?”
“These are strange questions…”
“Why strange?”
I shrugged.
“Take us, for instance.
In N7, they taught us that any armed person you meet on a mission who isn’t in your group is first and foremost a suspicious subject — even if you know them personally.
Only after checking in with command can they become a friend or an enemy.
If you have no comms with command, the squad leader decides.
But usually, you don’t leave someone like that unsupervised.
Someone keeps an eye on them so they don’t do anything stupid.
So I’m curious — what’s your protocol for cases like this?”
“That’s classified information.”
I snorted quietly at Nihlus’s words while mentally shrugging.
I’d planted a seed of doubt in his head about Saren.
Now let him deal with it himself.
I’m not his babysitter.
“Approaching the relay…”
Joker focused, his hands starting to dance over the panels even faster.
“Jump in ten…”
He started the countdown, and I braced myself.
It’s not strictly necessary — we’re going through the relay in non-combat mode, so the pull won’t be that strong.
But as they say, trust in God, but don’t stick your fingers in the socket.
And it’s best to save divine favor for another occasion.
“One…
zero…”
A slight lurch, and suddenly we were at the other end of our route.
An instant shift for us.
For normal people, it might take a few seconds.
Joker was already rattling off various ship parameters.
“…Drift fifteen hundred.”
“Fifteen hundred is good…
your captain will be pleased.”
With that, the Spectre left.
“What a dick.”
Joker couldn’t hold it back, saying it with a hint of hatred.
“Now, now, Joker.
Why so harsh?”
“Cap?”
He shot me a look that was a mix of confusion and question.
“He’s just got a stick up his ass that someone forgot to pull out.
That’s why he acts like this.”
“Hah…”
Joker let out a short laugh.
“…you know, it does fit.
But you were being pretty polite with him.”
“Well, it’s not my place to question command’s decision to let a Spectre on board.
In my opinion, it’s stupid — turian techs and a co-pilot would have been better.
This is an experimental ship, after all.
But…
they gave us a Spectre…”
“Sir, what do you think he’s really here for?
I mean, I doubt a Spectre was sent on a routine test flight.”
“Well…
who knows with Spectres?
Maybe they decided to use us as a taxi, and he’s got another ship waiting for him on Eden Prime.
Or maybe this is his idea of a vacation.
‘Go stand there and look important’…”
I shrugged carelessly.
“Hm…
any other options?”
“Well…”
I stared thoughtfully at one of the sensors.
“…if we’re going with the crazy theory, maybe they want to recommend me for Spectre status, and he’s here as an observer.”
“A human?
For Spectre?!”
Joker laughed briefly.
“That’ll never happen.
Saren shot down the captain’s nomination back in the day.
And they’d never take you either.”
“I told you, it’s a crazy theory.
The truth could be any number of things…”
“Joker…”
One of the comms crackled to life, Anderson calling the pilot.
“…tell Shepard to get to the comm room.”
“Copy, Captain.
And heads up, Nihlus is heading your way and—”
He didn’t get to finish because I clamped my hand over his mouth, pretty roughly too, making him grunt in pain.
“Thanks for the warning, Joker, but Mr.
Kryik is already here.”
The line went dead, and I immediately pulled my hand away.
“Joker, thank whatever gods you believe in that I shut you up just now.
Because if you’d said something rude…”
He averted his eyes, which told me that’s exactly what he was about to do.
But canon is canon, and Joker is Joker.
The guy’s not bad, but his mouth runs like a motor — spews first, thinks later.
“…they could have grounded you for good.
Is that what you want?”
“N-no, sir.”
“Then think about what and when you say it.
Your own people — yeah, they’ll cuss you out and forget it.
But Spectres…”
I shook my head.
“Thanks, sir…
but you could have been a little more gentle.”
“No.”
I shook my head.
“And yes, after this mission, remind me to order some specific medication.
It won’t cure you fully, but it’ll make you a lot more durable.”
“Wha—?!”
The guy looked at me in shock.
“I’m saying your condition is being treated now.
There’s a course of meds and a series of surgeries.
Two treatment options — a mild one with minimal surgical intervention, and maximum, where they actually replace bones.
Can’t do it with all bones, of course, but that’s what the meds are for — strengthening the ones that can’t be replaced with external polymer grafts.”
“Sir…”
“But you won’t be getting the surgery anytime soon.
Need to finish the medication course first.”
“Sir, I…”
“Oh, shut up already.
And remember — I take care of my people.
Though after you’re cured, you’ll have to be more careful with your mouth.
People won’t just cuss you out anymore — they’ll hit you.”
“Sir, yes, sir!”
He snapped to attention, still sitting in his chair.
“Yeah…”
I waved my hand and headed for the radio room.
“Shepard, I need a word…”
Karin, the ship’s medic, caught me just as I was passing the CIC.
“Can it wait?
Anderson called me.”
“It can…”
Karin sighed.
“…go ahead.”
“Thanks, Doc.
By the way, if you need any medical supplies for your domain, make me a list.
I’ll see what I can do.”
“And if it’s not just medical supplies?”
She gave me a careful look.
“Make a list for that too.
What I can squeeze out of the supply rats, I will.
What I can’t, I’ll buy myself.
Can’t promise everything will be fresh off the assembly line, but it’ll be in good shape.”
“I’ll…
think about it.”
Karin nodded thoughtfully, and I continued on my way to the radio room.
“Mr.
Kryik?”
I looked questioningly at the Spectre, who was standing in front of a holographic screen, staring at the image of a planet I recognized as Eden Prime.
I’d studied its orbital shots too, after I realized I was that Shepard — the one assigned to the Normandy.
“Shepard, what do you know about the colony on Eden Prime?”
“Hm…
quite a lot.
I’ve invested in the colony’s development.
So I’d appreciate a more specific question.”
“What threats does Eden Prime face?”
“You want it in bullet points?”
I allowed a smirk.
“Well, let’s start with the batarians.
The Council hasn’t wiped them out like they did the krogan.
And the krogan just liked fighting and bred like rabbits — the batarians have legalized slavery.
At the very least, they should have been blockaded on their planets so they couldn’t leave…
but no…”
I shook my head.
“…when it doesn’t involve your worlds, you prefer to bury your heads in the sand.”
Kryik just stood there, watching me.
His face was unreadable, but I doubt he was thinking anything pleasant.
“Next, regular pirates.
Mercenaries.
Maybe some rachni breeding in unexplored regions…”
At the mention of rachni, Kryik flinched.
“Though Eden Prime’s defenses are pretty solid.
As long as no dreadnought shows up, they could even hold off a small pirate fleet.”
“Shepard…”
Anderson appeared behind me.
“Sir!”
I snapped to attention.
“Shepard, let’s get straight to it.
Why do you think you’re here, and why is the Spectre here?”
“I have many theories, but I lack data to determine the most likely one.”
“I’m here to evaluate you, Shepard.”
Kryik took the floor.
“To assess your skills and decide whether you’re fit for the Spectre corps.
Humanity is very young as a space-faring civilization, but you’ve already made your way into many aspects of Citadel space.
So you’re being given this chance…
a second chance…”
“It’s an honor.”
“Hah, don’t celebrate yet.
I haven’t made my decision.
And it’s a huge mark against you that you’ve assembled a full ground team.
Spectres should operate in minimal groups.”
“Well…”
I shrugged.
“…no one told me I was being considered for Spectre.
I was acting according to Alliance regulations.
And even now…
the selection changes nothing.
I’m not a Spectre yet, so I have to act on the same premises.”
“Sir, you need to see this!”
Joker’s voice came through the speakers, and the image on the holographic screen changed…
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