“I was already losing to it.”
Lena
I noticed Kael and Seraphina standing about twenty feet away.
I don’t know why I stopped.
My feet felt rooted to the stone floor, as if my body had decided, and my legs had apparently decided that this was where we lived now.
I had seen them before I could compose myself, before I could put my expression back in place or rebuild the distance I had been trying to maintain.
They were standing together, closer than I expected, speaking in low, quiet voices.
I watched her attention stay fixed on him, focused and intent, and his listening with equal concentration.
A sharp feeling moved through my chest.
My mind was quick to correct it: you don’t know him.
But my body didn’t agree.
I didn’t fully understand what I was feeling as I watched them, but it wasn’t just jealousy.
It was something deeper, something physical.
It started in the centre of my chest, sharp and sudden, like a live wire pressed briefly against my ribs, stealing my breath for a moment.
Even from that distance, I could sense him.
Cedar, cold air, and something darker that was his.
But it was mixed with something else.
Seraphina’s perfume.
Floral, sharp, expensive.
It lingered on him, carried by their closeness, and the realisation unsettled me more than it should have.
I didn’t understand why, but I disliked it immediately.
Why was I reacting like this to someone I had only just met?
We hadn’t even had a real conversation yet.
None of this made sense.
Stop it, I told myself.
You don’t know him.
But the bond didn’t care.
It was still there, steady and undeniable, deep in my chest.
I was so focused on them that I forgot I wasn’t alone.
Rosie’s hand touched my arm, pulling me out of it.
I realised I had been staring long enough for Seraphina to notice.
She smiled at me.
In the light, I saw the change from what looked polite at first to something more satisfied.
It felt deliberate, like she had wanted me to see.
Then Kael looked up.
His eyes found mine and held.
I didn’t know what I felt at first.
It was just a sudden, sharp anger at how close he had been standing to her.
But the moment I met his gaze, everything else fell away.
I couldn’t look away.
And neither did he.
Seraphina turned and walked off, calm and unhurried, as she had already made her point.
I was left standing there, feeling strangely out of place in my own life.
Then Kael started walking toward me.
His steps were steady and controlled.
The kind of presence that made it feel like the world would wait for him if it had to.
Beside me, Rosie straightened.
He stopped in front of me.
I bowed as well.
“Leave us,” Kael said quietly, his voice lower now.
“I will see her back.”
Rosie glanced at me as she left, giving me a quick, apologetic look before disappearing.
Then it was just the two of us.
The silence felt awkward.
I wanted to say something, but my voice refused to cooperate.
It was like it had simply shut down for the night.
He didn’t speak either.
He just turned and started walking.
After a second, I followed.
What else could I do?
I matched his pace as best as I could.
He didn’t offer his arm this time.
The space between us was just a few inches, but it felt louder than the contact had been before.
I was suddenly very aware of it.
The closer I walked beside him, the stronger it became—that steady pull in my chest, like something drawing me in.
I tried to focus on the floor, on my steps, on breathing normally or on anything to ignore it.
Then my heel caught the edge of my dress.
I stumbled immediately, and my balance slipped.
Before I could react, his hand was at my elbow.
He was fast, like inhumanly fast.
He caught me with a grip that wasn’t gentle; it was careful, like he knew exactly how much force to use without hurting me.
The bond flared.
That was the only way to describe it.
It wasn’t a small pulse anymore.
It was a sudden rush of heat, moving from his fingers up my arm and straight into my chest.
My composure slipped instantly.
Our eyes locked, and for a moment, I lost myself in his.
He let go just as quickly, as the contact had burned him.
We both looked ahead again.
I straightened at once, forcing my expression back into place.
Neither of us said a word.
I spent the next few moments trying to steady my breathing, pretending nothing had happened.
The silence between us felt thick, almost suffocating, as we walked.
When we reached my door, the guards on either side immediately stood straighter.
Torchlight flickered across his face, casting a warm glow that made his eyes look lighter, almost gold.
“Lena.”
My name, spoken softly, sent a quiet shiver down my spine.
It was the first time he had said it, and the way it sounded felt deliberate.
I turned back.
He was looking at me directly now, without the distance he usually kept.
His expression was quieter, more open.
I forgot how to breathe.
I didn’t even realise I was waiting for the touch, and I stood completely still, my heart was beating too fast already.
His hand stopped just a few inches from my cheek.
A strand of my hair had fallen forward, and I realised he meant to tuck it back.
But he didn’t.
His jaw tightened instead, a sharp movement as if he were holding something back.
His hand stayed in the air, frozen there, as if even the smallest movement would break the control he was barely holding onto.
Then he closed his hand into a fist and lowered it.
I felt it immediately like disappointment; it was deep and uninvited.
Like my body had been expecting his touch and didn’t understand why it didn’t come.
In that moment, I understood something clearly.
He felt it too.
It was not just the prophecy, the bond, the duty, or whatever this was supposed to be.
He felt this, this strange, inconvenient heat between us.
And unlike me, he was fighting it better than I was.
“Lock your door,” he said, his voice back to that cold, commanding tone.
“Lena.” He said my name again, slower this time, and more deliberate.
“Lock your door and do not open it for anyone but Riven or me tonight. Do you understand?”
I searched his eyes.
He wasn’t being cruel or controlling.
He was warning me.
It was like he was protecting me from something he wouldn’t explain.
“Yes,” I whispered.
He held my gaze for a second longer, then turned and disappeared into the dark corridor.
I went inside and locked the door.
The room felt too quiet after that.
I sat on the edge of the bed, still in my dress, and pressed my hand to my chest.
The sting was gone, replaced by a hollow ache that I didn’t know what to do with.
I kept thinking about his hand near my face.
About how close he had come and the way he had stopped himself.
I shouldn’t have cared.
I shouldn’t have noticed his eyes or the way the light turned them gold, or the way my body reacted before my mind could intervene.
But I did.
And as I lay back on the mattress, staring at the dark ceiling, I realised that “shouldn’t” didn’t matter anymore.
This bond wasn’t just connecting our lives.
It was starting a war inside me.
And I was already losing.
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Chapter 18 was a lot to write…
that “near-touch” at the door had me blushing at my screen!
Kael is fighting for control, but the war has officially begun.
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