At seven in the evening, inside the captain’s office of the Hyperion.
Mo Wang was working like a machine, stamping seal after seal on the documents before him.
On the floor nearby, Ai-chan had already collapsed into her chibi form, completely burnt out, sprawled on the ground.
White smoke was still rising from her head—she looked thoroughly and utterly done for.
“J-just a few more documents!
If I can finish these, I’ll be able to…” Mo Wang stared at the paperwork with a pained expression.
For someone like him, who was the king of slacking off, spending an entire day doing this kind of mechanical clerical work was no different from suicide.
But while Mo Wang might have wanted to escape, it was obvious that Theresa and Himeko, who knew his true nature all too well, wouldn’t have left anything to chance.
To prevent him from sneaking out, the two had actually locked the office from the outside.
There was no way they were opening that door until he finished everything.
And to make things even worse, they had set the network to LAN mode and activated the system monitoring program.
The moment he slacked off even a little, the two of them would know within a second.
“Damn it!
Can’t those bastards just hire some clerical staff to do this?!” Mo Wang stared in agony at the pile of documents still half a meter tall in front of him, already feeling completely hopeless.
Mo Wang slumped over the desk, his stomach starting to growl.
He thought it over carefully, and the more he thought about it, the more something felt off.
This Hyperion captain gig wasn’t quite what he’d imagined.
He recalled the game’s storyline and realized that every time the Hyperion set out, it was either Himeko—the combat-oriented captain—commanding operations, or Theresa taking charge.
Sure, Himeko had nominally stepped down as captain, but as the highest-ranking Valkyrie in the Far East Branch besides Theresa, she was always deployed on every mission!
So really, the actual command authority was still with Himeko, wasn’t it?
Then what was he, the captain, even here for?
“Damn it all!
So I’m just the glorified desk jockey they hired, huh?!” Mo Wang pulled out a packet of salt from who-knows-where and slammed it hard on the table.
But after that outburst, Mo Wang immediately deflated again.
That brief flash of anger had completely drained whatever energy he had left.
Now he just wanted to lie there like a salted fish.
Honestly, for a clerical position, couldn’t they just find anyone?
Why did they have to pick him, a stinking salted fish, to be captain?
It couldn’t be that someone had found out he’d secretly written some…
risqué fanfiction about a certain Overseer, with one of the main characters being a certain fox, could it?
He’d always posted those using anonymous accounts and the school’s public computers…
Just as Mo Wang was starting to let his mind wander, thinking about whether he should brag to someone about himself, the captain’s office door suddenly swung open.
There was Kiana, sneaking in through the crack in the door with a shifty look on her face.
“Kiana?
How the hell did you get in here?”
The moment he saw the white-haired ball of fluff, Mo Wang was stunned.
“Shh!
Keep it down!
I swiped Aunt Theresa’s keys to sneak in, okay?”
Kiana glanced around the office to confirm no one else was there, then walked in slowly, carrying a basket.
“Wow, stealing Theresa’s keys, huh?
Bold move.” Mo Wang was initially impressed by Kiana’s audacity, but then figured it wasn’t that surprising.
After all, Kiana had stolen snacks and manga from Theresa plenty of times before.
“So, what are you here for? This chapter is updated first at g.com.
Let me be clear—no snacks, and I’m not lending you my game accounts!
If you want to play games, go ask Bronya yourself.
I’m really busy right now.” Mo Wang gestured at the half-meter stack of documents in front of him.
“Pfft!
What are you talking about?!” Kiana huffed indignantly, then shook the basket in her hand.
“Ahem, Mei heard you’ve been dealing with paperwork all day without eating, so she asked me to bring you dinner.”
“Huh?
Mei’s cooking?
Since when are you this generous?” Mo Wang eyed Kiana with suspicion.
He knew that anything Mei made basically never survived more than half an hour in Kiana’s presence.
Was this girl really being so nice as to bring it to him?
“L-let me be clear!
I came because I felt sorry for you working so hard.
So…
it’s definitely NOT because I lost that bet and have to be your maid or anything!” Kiana turned her head away with a tsundere air and handed the basket to Mo Wang.
“Huh?” Mo Wang stared at Kiana in disbelief.
So she was here because of THAT?
Wait, she was actually taking the maid thing seriously?
Originally, Mo Wang had made that bet just so he could tease her about it the next time they argued.
He never expected Kiana to actually take it to heart.
“Hey!
Are you going to eat or not?
If not, I’m taking it back!” Kiana’s face flushed red when she noticed Mo Wang staring at her.
“Eating, eating!
Oh?
It really is Mei’s sandwiches.” Mo Wang opened the basket and found three neatly arranged sandwiches inside.
As someone who frequently mooched meals, he recognized Mei’s handiwork at a glance.
“Mmm, that’s the taste!
Absolutely authentic!” Mo Wang stuffed a sandwich into his mouth, giving a thumbs up as he chewed.
“Wait a minute—you brought me food this time, but didn’t you bring anything else?” After finishing one sandwich, Mo Wang checked the basket again.
It seemed like there really was nothing but sandwiches.
“What else would there be?” Kiana scratched her head.
She didn’t think she’d forgotten anything.
“I mean, where’s Mei’s milk?
Did you hide it?
Tell me, did you hide it?!” Mo Wang pointed at the basket, addressing Kiana.
“There’s no such thing!
If there were, I’d want some myself!” Kiana was thoroughly annoyed.
This guy really couldn’t say anything decent.
“Hey!
You say you want it?
You’re just lusting after Mei’s body—how shameless!”
“Like you’re any better!
You were staring at Mei’s body all the time before too!” Kiana shot back irritably.
“Kiana, you just don’t understand. This chapter was copied from g.com without permission.
I genuinely want to know what it tastes like.” Mo Wang wagged his finger.
Indeed, Kiana would never understand the mindset of the old Honkai veterans.
Mei’s milk and the beautiful girl-flavored instant noodles—these were the two legendary delicacies of the World of Honkai!
Every captain yearned to try them.
As a food enthusiast, he was genuinely curious what they tasted like.
“So, there’s really no milk to drink?
Not Mei’s, and not yours either—”
“No!
Don’t even think about it!”
Kiana was this close to pulling out her gun and shooting this pervert right then and there.
Fortunately, having known him for over a year now, she’d long gotten used to his complete lack of decorum.
…
“Ahh~ Full, so full.
I’m finally alive again.
Gotta hand it to Mei’s cooking.” After finishing all three sandwiches, Mo Wang felt like himself again.
He was about to continue working on the remaining documents while his slacking disease hadn’t kicked in yet, but then he noticed Kiana sitting on the sofa nearby, staring at him.
The look in her eyes was like a cat waiting for someone to play with her, making him feel incredibly uncomfortable.
Mo Wang rubbed his smooth chin, seemingly understanding what she wanted.
He reached under his desk and pulled out a game console.
“Hey, wanna play together?
I just got the latest Honkai Domain.”
Mo Wang handed a controller to Kiana, issuing a challenge.
“You actually hid this here?!
How?!”
Seeing Mo Wang pull out a game console from under his desk, Kiana was stunned.
Wait, hadn’t this guy just moved into this office?
How did he manage to pull all this stuff out from under the desk?
“Us gamers have our ways.
Don’t ask.
So, are you playing or not?” Mo Wang shook the controller, looking at Kiana.
“Playing!
Of course I’m playing!” Kiana snatched the controller from Mo Wang’s hand and naturally sat down beside him.
The two of them had done this secretly so many times that they were practically experts at it.
“Speaking of gaming, do you have any snacks?” Kiana asked while logging into the game with practiced ease.
“Seriously, are you the Monkey King or what?
You come here and expect to take stuff too?”
Despite his complaints, Mo Wang still pulled out a pile of snacks and a few bottles of cola from behind the sofa.
A professional slacker could procure supplies from any environment, no matter the circumstances.
If Theresa and Himeko knew that in this room—where they’d practically set up surveillance with no blind spots—Mo Wang had still managed to hide this much slacking equipment, they’d probably be furious.
Well, that was their problem, not his.
Because the game had already begun.
[Diary of a Failure, Day 4]: From posting the book on Monday to finally completing the contract signing today.
The long marathon of contract negotiations is finally over.
What a long and winding road it’s been.
Thank you so much for following this story with me.