My vision goes white as pleasure rips through me, the universe collapsing to just this moment, just our bodies locked together. Ashley’s legs wrap tighter around my waist as she cries out, her back arching off the mattress. I feel her pulsing around me, pulling me deeper as I empty everything I have into her.
“Fuck, Vincent!” she gasps, her nails digging half-moons into my shoulders.
I collapse on top of her, my heart hammering so hard I swear she must feel it against her chest. We’re both gasping for air like we’ve been underwater too long, skin slick with sweat, bodies trembling with aftershocks. The room reeks of sex, a smell that’s become weirdly comforting over these past few weeks.
After a few moments of catching my breath, I roll off her onto my back, staring up at my ceiling.
We lie there side by side, not touching except where our arms barely graze each other. Just breathing. The silence stretches between us, comfortable at first, then slowly morphing into something heavier, more significant. Like the air before a thunderstorm.
My mind drifts to the future. Where our whole plan might finally come to fruition. The thought should excite me, but instead, it just leaves this empty ache in my chest.
“Hey,” I say finally, my voice sounding strange in the quiet room. “When this is all over... whether you get with Dante or not... are we going to stay friends?”
I can feel Ashley tense beside me, the mattress shifting slightly with her movement. The silence that follows my question lasts so long I wonder if she’s going to answer at all.
“If I land Dante,” she says finally, her voice flat and matter-of-fact, “then no, Vince.”
The words hit me like a gunshot to my heart. I keep staring at the ceiling afraid to look at her face.
“And if you don’t?” I manage to ask, hating how my voice wavers.
“I don’t know what I’ll do,” she whispers.
I feel something sharp stabbing behind my eyes, a familiar pressure that warns of tears. I swallow hard against the knot in my throat. This is what I signed up for, right? To be a stepping stone to someone else’s happiness. To be used and discarded once I’ve served my purpose.
“Alright,” I say, forcing my voice to sound steady when all I want to do is scream about how fucking annoying this is. How many times has she climbed into my bed now? How many times have I heard her moan my name? And still, I’m just a means to an end.
Ashley sits up, the sheet falling away from her naked body as she reaches for her clothes. “I’m gonna get going.” She pulls her shirt over her head, not even looking at me. “Are you good with me trying to start this thing up tomorrow?”
“Tomorrow?” The word comes out strangled as panic floods my system. “You want to meet them tomorrow?”
“No,” she says, rolling her eyes as she steps into her underwear. “I doubt it will go that fast. Since it’s an app, it might not work out at all.”
I watch her dress with mechanical efficiency.
“Yeah, just let me know,” I mutter, staring at a spot on the wall behind her. “Do we need to do anything to keep pretend dating?”
Ashley shakes her head, running fingers through her tangled hair. “No, they saw us together, and Portia thinks we’re together too. If anyone asks, just keep saying you’re dating me.”
“Alright.”
She grabs her backpack, slinging it over one shoulder. “I’ll text you.”
When the door closes behind her, I lie back and press the heels of my hands against my eyes until I see stars. The room still smells like her, like us, and suddenly I can’t stand it. I throw open the window despite the chill outside, desperate for fresh air that doesn’t remind me of her body against mine.