I scan the floor for a second.
Locate my bag of clothes.
Then slowly…
Reach down to pick it up.
She must hear the bag crinkle because she lowers her hands and looks at me through red-rimmed eyes. “Wait, what are you doing?”
“I… I have to go…”
The words come calmly. Numbly.
“…go…?”
“Yeah, sorry… I have…” The lie is transparent before I can even think of one.
I can’t meet her eyes.
“You’re just going to leave? Now?”
Her voice isn’t loud or accusatory.
Just… scared.
She hurries out of her covers and drapes her legs over the side of her bed. Her body leans forward into a sprinting position, like she’s gonna catch me before I hit second.
…Moving…?
…Scared?
My brain fog lifts a bit.
Numb to surprised.
Surprised to guilty.
Guilty to irritated.
“What exactly do you expect me to do?” I snap.
She thinks for a moment.
“I… don’t know,” she admits.
“Well!—”
“But can’t we, like, figure it out? Neither one of us knows what’s going on or why or how long it will last, but maybe if we can put our heads together or something then we can figure something out! ‘Two heads are better than one’, right?”
“Sure, I guess, but why does the second head have to be mine? You have parents and a sister and—hell—tell one of your fuckin’ baseball groupies.”
“I’m sorry, my what?”
“Ugh you know what I mean. My point is: why me?”
She lets out an angry sigh and pinches the bridge of her nose.
“Look—I love my parents. I do. But they are not ‘take charge’ kind of people; they’re ‘find the appropriate authorities’ people. If I tell them, then this’ll be all over school by tomorrow and cable news by Tuesday. And telling Shizuka-nee is as good as telling them.”
She exhales hard.
“And as for my teammates and, um, ‘groupies’—we’re not actually friends. Not really. Not like—”
She clears her throat.
“Not… we’re just not. Look, I don’t know where you got this idea that I’ve just got everyone wrapped around my finger or whatever, but I am scared every day at school. Scared that I’ll say the wrong thing or I won’t read the room or—or—or something.”
Her body hunches over and she glares off into space. But like, downwards.
I try to think of something to say, but… she thinks faster.
Suddenly, a smirk has crossed her face and she’s leaning smugly back, legs crossed at the knee and gaze fixed on me.
“You, on the other hand, already hate me, and—more to the point—are already involved, so…”
“Wait, I’m what? No no no I’m just leaving, I’m—”
She scoffs. “It’s too late for that, dumbass. Do you know how many people could have seen you leave the stadium with my family? Or saw you with them at the hospital? If anyone finds out that something weird is happening with me, then you, my friend, are one of the first people they’re gonna look at.”
What? But… but that’s…
“You know what? I think I changed my mind.” She closes her eyes and starts leaning back over towards her pillow. “I’m gonna just go back to bed and wait to be found out. I’m sure Mama and Shizuka-nee will come check on me and—”
“No!”
I blurt it without thinking.
She opens a single eye like a reverse-wink and grins at me.
Fuck.
“You seriously just—”
Slam. A door closes nearby.
We both jump and look at the same time.
Look at… well, nothing. No one is at the bedroom door.
Though I do realize that I left it slightly ajar when I was trying to be stealthy. Must have made the bathroom door louder?
Either way. Okay. I don’t think they heard us.
But someone is definitely awake.
Someone could walk through that door any second.
This isn’t…
Fujimura looks back at me, wide-eyed. Her bravado has evaporated, but still.
She’s looking at me.
Looking to me.
My heart pounds.
Stomach turns.
Fuck fuck fuck.
“Fine,” I snap. “But this is temporary, got it? I’m not fucking adopting you.”
Her body looks immediately lighter, and she flashes me a smile that’s far too bright for how I’m feeling right now.
“YAY! Thank you thank you thank you!”
For a second I wonder if she’s gonna hug me, but then she’s scooting off the bed and heads towards her closet.
I close the door myself—because of course—then turn back.
And pause.
“Wait, why are you getting dressed?”
She doesn’t look my way, just keeps sorting through clothes in her closet. “I just said so, didn’t I? I can’t stay here.”
“Well, yeah, but I didn’t think you meant, like,… now.”
Now she looks my way. And glowers at me. “Hiding from my family makes me basically homeless, so yes,Sakuragi-kun, I meant now.”
Her face brightens.
“Besides, no time like the present!”
I… don’t have anything to say to that. “Right…”
She goes back to rummaging through her closet, and I look down for my bag of clothes, only to realize I’ve been holding it this whole time.
Fuck, I am really out of it.
Right. Off to the bathroom I go to get changed.
I’m about to re-open the bedroom door when I think better of it.
Wait.
Is that person still in the bathroom?
I put my ear against it to try to get a good listen.
I can’t hear anything, so that must mean…
Okay, I’m not quite sure what that means, actually.
Fujimura glances over. “What are you doing?”
“Checking to see if whoever-it-was is still in the bathroom.”
Fujimura balks. “Nope. Too risky. Too visible. You’ll have to change here.”
My eyes widen. “Wait, here?”
“Yes, here! What’s the big deal? We used to bathe together all the time when we were kids.”
“Well, yeah, but not… like this.”
Fujimura glances down at herself, as if she’s already forgotten what circumstances we’re in. “Hmm, fair point,” she says. “Okay, new rule. We’ll both change in here while facing opposite directions. Efficiently. Quietly. No peeking. No sudden movements.”
I fail at not laughing. “Sounds like a military briefing.”
“Would you prefer chaos?” she shoots back, less amused.
“…Fair point.”
“Exactly.”
She grabs a few items out of her closet, then heads to one of the far corners of the room. I follow her lead and start heading to a different corner of the room before she stops me.
“Wait!”
She comes up to me with a serious-looking facial expression…
…and sticks out a pinkie in front of her.
“Pinkie promise you won’t look.”
What the actual fuck?
“Wha—I’m not gonna look!”
“Yes, but you have to promise!”
She’s way too loud and I shush her.
“Promise!” she stage-whispers.
“I promise I’m not going to look!”
“Pinky on the line or it doesn’t count, dammit!”
“Oh my god. This is so unnecessary. Are you gonna pinkie-promise not to look at me?”
She seems baffled by the question. “Of course.”
I huff a breath and roll my eyes. “I don’t have time for this,” I mumble as I lock our pinkies.
She scowls at the backtalk but overall seems satisfied as she heads back to her corner.
Could this day possibly get any weirder.
I turn my back on her and awkwardly start pulling off the pajamas I slept in.
What the hell is my life.
I don’t even like getting changed around other guys, and now this?
I know that she’s still Fujimura or whatever, but to any outsider it just looks like a boy and a girl in a private room stripping to their underwear.
My stomach twists.
Thank god Hina-chan can’t see this.
…
Definitely the thought of someone doing nothing wrong.
…
I mean…
It’s not actually like that.
Not really.
This is a crisis.
An abnormal situation.
Emergency circumstances.
And… it’s Fujimura.
Thatalone should disqualify it from being weird.
…Right?
“Sakuragi-kun!”
I freeze. “Yeah?”
“You can look now.”
I’m dressed too, so I turn around.
Sweatpants. Oversize hoodie. Hood already halfway up over the red hair like a helmet.
She looks… fine. She looks fine.
“Look look look!”
She holds up her hands, which are completely buried in her sleeves.
“I don’t think this hoodie really fits right anymore,” she giggles.
Actually giggles.
I focus on that instead of the clothes not fitting—that I have no opinion on.
I rally again and realize I hadn’t actually said anything.
She doesn’t seem to mind, though. If anything, she looks ecstatic. Not a care in the world.
Or… her face does.
Fujimura’s always been like that. He’ll put on a smile but it won’t quite erase the tenseness in his posture.
Girl-Fujimura must be similar, but she doesn’t look tense as much as… smaller.
Not physically.
Presence-wise.
Like she’s compressing herself on purpose.
“You ready to go?” she grins as she looks up at me.
…
“Uh… remind me where we’re going again?”
“Hmm… breakfast? I could really use a coffee right about now.”
“Oh god yes.”
She giggles again—STOP THAT—and gestures towards the door. “Alright! Lead the way, oh fearless leader.”
I scoff but say nothing. The idea that I’m in charge of anything here is a fucking joke.