It was Nikla’s first day of school. She woke up with a frown. Her mother was already singing and dancing with a dildo as a microphone while making breakfast; her wails were so irritating that Nikla had to cover her ears.
Mr. Bunny was sleeping next to her; the stuffed bunny was a gift from her father, his last gift before he went on to become a Door during the Last War, where he sealed Palito, the most powerful entity in the cosmos. But the price of such a sacrifice was to seal himself too. It has been 9 years, and Nikla hasn’t forgotten her father.
The stuffed toy stared at her with its button eyes. Its pink fur was all messy and dirty after all the abuse it had endured at the hands of Nadia, her mother. The crazy woman always used it to get Nikla to do what she wanted.
“NIKLA! MY BABY, IT’S YOUR FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL. TIME TO SHINE!” her mother yelled from downstairs.
“SHUT UP! I ALREADY WOKE UP!” she yelled back as she jumped off the bed.
Nikla waited until the last moment to get dressed in her school uniform and jumped out of the window to avoid seeing her mother. She landed on the sidewalk and walked to school.
She walked through the city’s dirty streets. There was piss and garbage everywhere, a prostitute sucking a man’s dick, and a few guys selling drugs.
The sun winked at her through the mountains of trash, its rays blinding her eyes. She squinted as she tried to block the sunlight with her hand. The evil star was already up, burning those who dared to defy the Gods.
Nikla walked down the road with her head down, her blonde hair covering her face. She had dyed it with black highlights, making her look like a Pikachu.
And just when she thought her day couldn’t get any worse, a familiar nasal voice called her from behind. “Hi.”
She turned and saw her classmate, Kristen Kristensen de los Lopez. His ugly ginger hair was wet with sweat. His uniform was dirty with stains of oil, blood, and semen. His freckles looked like ants walking across his nose.
“You,” she replied, scowling at the disgusting boy. She hated him with all her heart, and she couldn’t understand why he was following her.
“How is you, Niku?” he muttered, sweating bullets. Having the love of his life in front of him made his heart jump in excitement.
“Fuck off, loser,” she snapped at him and walked away from the little creep.
He followed her, his dirty feet making a disgusting noise as they hit the floor. He was panting like an old dog that had run too much. His stench was unbearable; Nikla could smell his shitty underwear even though she was a meter away from him.
Kristen followed her closely, not saying a word, but smiling at her with his stupid grin; his teeth were rotten and crooked.
“Niku… Is you giving a speech today?” he said, his voice trembling.
“Stop calling me that.”
“Is you gonna talk about the importance of love?”
“Listen, you parasite. My mother is forcing me to give a stupid speech in front of the whole school!” She clenched her fist. “And if I refuse, she’ll use Mr. Bunny to clean the toilet bowl again.”
Kristen gasped. Niku was sharing something personal with him; she was basically admitting her love for him.
“Niku… I’ll always be here for you…” Precum began to leak from the tip of his micro penis, staining his already dirty pants.
Nikla’s eye twitched. “OK, THAT’S IT!” she screamed. “I’VE BEEN PATIENT ENOUGH.” She grabbed the STOP sign next to her, yanked it from the sidewalk, and started beating the shit out of Kristen. She slammed the sign on his body, making him bleed from his nose and mouth. His teeth broke, and his eyes rolled back. She continued to beat him until he was unconscious.
She threw the sign on his body and continued her way.
***
Nikla was standing behind the stage curtains, while her mother, Nadia, had infiltrated the school unnoticed.
Her mother was no ordinary woman; she was the leader of The Hunters, the second most powerful army in the world. Nikla, as the daughter of such an important figure, had to follow in her mother’s footsteps.
Nikla looked down and checked her uniform. Her white shirt had a bloodstain. “AAAAH! FUCKING KRISTEN!” she yelled.
Someone approached her and said, “It’s your time to shine, young lady!”
Nikla turned and saw Mr. Eladio, the school principal, with his sleazy mustache and fat belly. He was wearing a white shirt with a ribbon and tight black pants that buried themselves inside his fat ass.
He was sweating profusely, and his bald head was shining like the sun.
“I don’t want to do this.” Nikla groaned and rolled her eyes.
Mr. Eladio grinned, showing his disgusting yellow teeth. He licked his lips and placed his sticky hand on Nikla’s shoulder. “Nikla, my dear, I know how hard it is for you, but you can do it. You’re a strong girl, and I’m sure you’ll make your father proud.”
“Don’t touch me!” She slapped his hand away. “And don’t mention my father again! You’re not worthy of talking about him.”
“I’m sorry,” he apologized, his man boobs jiggling like two big bowls of jelly. He lowered his head in shame, and his double chin became more pronounced.
“Leave before I tell everyone about your nasty secrets,” Nikla snapped.
Mr. Eladio gasped. “Nikla, please! Don’t tell your mother about the boy I’m dating!” he pleaded. “She wouldn’t understand!”
“Just leave me alone.”
Mr. Eladio sighed and walked away with tears in his eyes. He went to the bathroom and cried his heart out. Then, he pulled down his pants and jerked off, thinking about Coquito, an indigenous boy he loved.
Back at the auditorium, Nikla walked to the front of the stage and stood before the microphone. Hundreds of people were sitting in the audience. Her eyes scanned the crowd. There were too many people, and most of them were ugly.
They all stared at her, waiting for her to say something, and began to whisper about her appearance.
“Look at her hair! It looks like she got electrocuted.”
“She looks like she hasn’t slept in days.”
“She looks angry as usual.”
“I want to penetrate her.”
“I HEARD YOU!” She pointed at one of the students in the audience. He immediately shut up and lowered his head.
The crowd fell silent. She took the microphone and said, “Hello, my name is Nikla Infernoz Rain, and I am the president of the student council.” She took a deep breath and continued. “It’s a pleasure to be here today and welcome you all to another school year.”
They all clapped, cheered, and threw confetti in the air.
“I’M NOT DONE YET!” She cleared her throat. “As you all know, this year we will have a lot of new foreign students, and they will bring their own cultures to our school.” She frowned, leaning forward. “But don’t be fooled! They will try to impose their backward traditions on you, and if you let your guard down, they’ll use their suicide vests to blow you up.”
Everyone looked at Al-Qaeda, a Muslim boy with a turban and a long beard. “I am innocent!” he said, standing up and pointing at himself. “I am not a terrorist!”
“GET HIM, BOYS!” yelled someone in the crowd. A bunch of guys stood up and ran towards the terrified jihadist. They jumped on him and started beating him up, calling him a terrorist and a faggot, while Nikla continued her speech.
“Any questions?!” she asked as soon as she finished.
A girl in the audience raised her hand. “Uh, excuse me, young lady…” The woman had pink hair, sunglasses, and a mustache.
“MOM! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE?!” Nikla yelled.
“So, my question is, are you going to lose your virginity this year?” asked Nadia, adjusting her glasses. “If so, who will be the lucky boy?”
“MOM, FUCK OFF! I’M NOT GOING TO ANSWER THAT!”
“If you had to choose…” Nadia grabbed two boys from the audience, one was a cute boy with blonde hair, and the other was a fat boy with a pig nose. “Jean Pierre, the French exchange student, or this tubby right here?”
“NEITHER! I DON’T EVEN KNOW THEM!”
“Oh, come on!” Nadia said, throwing the fat boy over the crowd and putting the French boy on her lap. “It’s obvious that Jean Pierre is cuter and has more potential to become a better lover.” She licked the boy’s ear, and he whimpered, trying to get away from the crazy woman.
“Lucky bastard!” one of the boys in the crowd said. He was jealous of the French boy’s luck.
“OKAY! IF THAT’S ALL, I’M LEAVING THE FUCK OUTTA HERE!” Nikla said, taking a deep breath. “I hope you all die this year!” She crushed the microphone in her hands.
Everyone cheered and clapped. They liked Nikla, even if she was a mean bitch, because they were sheep, and sheep love to follow their leaders, no matter how stupid or psychotic they are.
***