Danna Ai was a loli, but not any loli. She was the loliest of the lolis. Her mind was a labyrinth of fungal networks and esoteric knowledge; her silver eyes glimmered with a mischievous wisdom far beyond her years.
She lived in a giant mushroom house with her father, Zorman Ai, a giant of a man, a walking mountain of muscle and antisocial tendencies. He had a huge laboratory in the basement where he did all his experiments.
Danna had woken up due to the loud explosions happening outside. She got out of bed, wearing her gray pajamas with mushrooms drawn on them, and went to the window.
Her father was next to a huge cauldron, boiling a purple liquid with body parts. Danna knew he had started a new war against the gnomes from the forest.
Their house was located next to the forest of Lacacia, a strategic location where Zorman picked mushrooms and other materials for his research on eternal life.
But the magical creatures from the forest didn't like the giant because he had taken a large portion of their beloved land to plant his fungi and do his experiments.
The gnomes had done nothing other than come to his yard to ask him not to burn their crops after he harvested the mushrooms, but Zorman had responded by tearing off their beards and forcing them to kiss each other.
A month later, the gnomes had come back to the yard and destroyed the fence, and some plants, so Zorman had gone to their village and burned their houses and children. And when the gnomes had begun migrating to more fertile lands, they had been bombed by a fighter jet.
So, in the end, the gnomes decided to abandon the forest altogether.
Danna saw her alarm clock: it was 7:30. She needed to get ready for school.
She got dressed in her school uniform and put on her horse mask. Why? No reason at all. She put her dolls in her school bag and grabbed some cookies from the kitchen table before going outside.
The loli headed to the garage and uncovered her motorcycle, a huge, black Harley-Davidson. She got on it and started the engine, the sound echoing through the woods.
Danna waved at her father and drove away, leaving the mushroom house behind. Her silver hair flew behind her, and her silver eyes were fixed on the road. She wore no helmet because she trusted her superior loli reflexes.
She made it to school and parked next to Rea's green Jaguar F-Type. Danna always ensured to park right next to it. She knew Rea was very protective of her car and hated it when other people parked next to her.
Danna didn't feel like using the stairs, so she climbed the walls to the third floor, where her classroom was.
She jumped onto the windowsill of her class and opened the window. Kristen was already there, rubbing his micro penis against the window. She pushed the window open, crushing Kristen's tiny dick.
"AAAAAAH!" he cried, writhing on the floor like a worm.
Danna jumped inside and stared at the ginger freak. "Slug. You shouldn't be near the windows. Haven't you read the signs?" she asked, pointing at a warning pasted on the glass: "Danger! Do not lean out of the window!"
"Y-you crushed my pp!" Kristen said, tears in his eyes.
"Slug. You need to save energy to protect your loved ones," Danna replied, her dead fish eyes staring at his soul. "What if the man of the sack decides your mother is his next target?"
Kristen gasped. "Why would he go after her?"
"Because her body contains a high amount of saturated fats," Danna explained. "The man of the sack needs those fats for his special recipe. He wants to make a sandwich with her."
Kristen stood up and trembled. "NUH! MY MOM HAS JAMMAL TO PROTECT HER!"
"The man of the sack knows how to manipulate people with high levels of testosterone." Danna left her backpack on her desk. "He will use watermelons and shiny jewelry to catch his attention, and while he is distracted, the evil man will kidnap your mom and take her to his factory of horror."
"NUUUUUUH!" Kristen yelled. He was worried about his whore mother now. The idiot tried to run to his house to warn her about the danger, but Mr. Hilter came and grabbed him by the neck. He lifted him in the air and then dropped him to the ground.
"Where do you think you're going, you idiot?!" Mr. Hilter shouted. He was wearing his brown uniform and a shit-filled diaper.
"Mr. Hilter! My mom is in danger! She needs to be warned!"
"Sit down, you idiot! If I see you trying to leave my class again, I'm going to send you to the principal's office!"
Kristen gulped, knowing he was doomed if that happened. He sat down at his desk.
Hilter frowned, looking at the class. "The government says the number of gnomes is decreasing dramatically, so Mr. Eladio is suggesting the students go on a trip to the forest to see those little bastards before it’s too late."
Danna raised her hand. "Mr. Hilter. What's the point of such a trip? The gnomes are going to get extinct soon, and there's no point in studying an endangered species."
"Danna. Everyone knows your family is behind the genocide of the gnomes. You are just trying to find excuses not to go to the forest and get incriminating evidence of your father's atrocities, but the government does not approve of such actions."
Danna nodded. "Mr. Hilter. It's almost September. Therefore, the baby boom will start soon. Have you already bought enough supplies for the month?"
Hilter gasped. How did the loli know about his secret? He loved baby merchandise such as diapers, pacifiers, and baby bottles, but demand skyrocketed every September. He needed those supplies to keep his fetish going.
"What does that have to do with the trip?" he said, trying to sound angry.
Danna shrugged. "You have to buy supplies for the baby boom of September," she said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "Every store in the city will ban adults without small children from buying diapers. They did that to avoid the shortage of previous years. Your only hope is to get to the stores on Friday and buy the entire stock of baby merchandise."
Hilter stood and slammed his hands on his desk. "Class dismissed!" he yelled and started packing his stuff to go shopping. He needed to buy everything before the parents started shopping for their ugly children.
The class was happy with the unexpected free day, and they got their things and went home.
"But Danna," said Nero, walking next to her down the hallway. "We're on February 3rd. Why would you lie about it being September?"
"I did not lie," replied Danna. "I never said we were in September. I just told Mr. Hilter that he needs to buy his supplies."
Nero nodded, understanding her true intentions. "I guess semantics are important in everyday life." The boy touched his horn and shook his head. "I should've paid more attention to the conversation. My mommy is going to be upset."
"Don't worry about it, Nero," said Kana, hugging his arm. "I'm sure your mom will understand that it wasn't your fault."
"I don't think she'll understand why I didn't pay attention to the conversation. I made a silly mistake." Nero frowned. He wasn't pleased with himself. He had made a semantic error and failed to understand Danna's intentions. His mother, the great Remnya, wasn't going to be pleased at all.
Danna smiled, proud of herself. "Nero, your mother might need you to perform a proper ritual to atone for your mistake. I think she'll want you to do the dance of shame in the backyard to ask for the gods' forgiveness.”
"ENOUGH, YOU!" Kana jumped. "STOP TRYING TO GET INTO NERO'S HEAD!" She took his hand and dragged the idiot away from the others. Nero couldn't wait to get home to start the ritual to atone for his mistake.
Danna was left behind. She had managed to buy some time. Now, she needed to get her father to lay down arms and stop the war. She got on her Harley and sped off to her home.
She got home and went to the backyard, where her father was working on a new death device. "Look, Danna!" He showed a huge metal barrel with spikes on it. "This thing can shoot red-hot needles into the urethras of my enemies. It also injects liquid mercury into their rectum."
"Father, I have a question."
"Sure, my girl. Anything."
"Can you please stop the war against the gnomes?"
"No."
"Why not?"
"Because the gnomes dared to attack my backyard that night of January 1st. They destroyed my fence and some plants. I had to rebuild it and replace the plants. Also, they filed a complaint with the police, and I don't like snitches."
"But father. They only removed a loose board. They did nothing to the plants."
"They stepped on my grass! That's unforgivable!"
"They did it because they wanted to walk on it. I've been doing my research, and I've learned that gnomes can not fly. They need to walk on the ground with their two feet."
Zorman gasped. Her daughter was a genius. "I never knew that. I assumed the gnomes flew like bees, but now that you mention it, I've never seen one fly."
"They have feet for a reason. They use them to walk around and explore their environment. Also, they use them to kick enemies in the crotch."
Zorman was impressed. His loli daughter was getting smarter by the day. "I see you're doing your research, Danna. I’m proud of you." He wiped a tear from his eye. "I'm glad I had sex with that whore that day, even though it meant she would die and leave me alone with you."
"Father. My mother is not dead. She's just gone on a never-ending adventure!"
"That's what I said." Zorman placed the device on the ground. "Anyhow. I'll pause the war for now. In the meantime, I'll gather information about the gnomes' habits and lifestyle. You've given me valuable information, so I can't ignore your advice."
Danna smiled. "Thank you, Father." She walked to the main entrance of the house and went inside. She had accomplished her mission. When the school visited the forest, there would be no war and nobody to blame.
She took her horse mask off and placed it on the table. She was tired and wanted to relax, so she went to her room to sleep for 3 minutes.
TO BE CONTINUED…