Jiang Li's brows knitted tighter the longer he stared; the face across from him looked maddeningly familiar.
The Witch of Eternal Night—Kakayan of the Demonic Reverie.
Because she loved marathon naps, she'd kept the local sky trapped in perpetual darkness for years. Though centuries old, she still insisted on being addressed as "Miss Witch." Slothful, gluttonous, and famously tight-fisted, she'd take a client's deposit and then refuse to deliver.
Her magical gifts, however, were off the charts, so ordinary folk could only grind their teeth and bear it.
She'd lived a life of indulgent freedom—lazy, willful—until Jiang Li happened to pass through...
From that day on, the sun rose on schedule again.
"Jiang... Li?"
Spotting her old nemesis, Kakayan's heart somersaulted between surprise and mortification. She gulped down the mouthful of food, swept an oversized hood over her head, and vanished beneath her cloak.
"Spatial magic!"
"Get me out of here!"
Kakayan tried to pull the ambient mana into a warp spell, but the incantation rolled down the stairwell and fizzled; she never budged an inch.
An old granny clattered downstairs, gave the pair a long, odd look, shook her head, and left.
"..."
Jiang Li's toes curled inside his shoes. Kakayan clearly didn't care, but he actually lived here. When the neighbors lectured their kids, they'd probably point to him: "Don't grow up like the older brother on the third floor..."
"Why isn't it working?"
Kakayan blinked; confusion shimmered beneath her long lashes. She refused to believe the spell had failed and prepared to try again.
"Hold on!" Jiang Li dropped into a crouch and caught her arm. "Before you bolt, give me back my burger."
"Burger?"
"The one you gnawed in half."
She processed that for a second, then realized he was asking for his food back. Clearly, the man was starving.
"Here you—"
Kakayan pulled her arm free, only to find her palm empty. She checked her other hand. Nothing.
Where was the burger?
"Looks like it got displaced," Kakayan said, scratching her cheek. "Heh-heh..."
"...?"
Jiang Li tugged one corner of his mouth. His right hand instinctively dropped to his waist.
Where was his sword?
He'd left it inside after his shower.
Kakayan followed the motion and realized the same thing: the Hero wasn't carrying his blade.
A Hero without a sword is a plucked chicken. Change of plans.
Miss Witch's eyes sharpened, a shadow sliding over her delicate features. The corners of her mouth lifted in a vivid red arc.
"Spirits of the Scarlet Lotus!"
"Flame!"
Kakayan snapped through the chant. A single spark popped in her palm and promptly died.
That wouldn't even light a cigarette.
Ridiculous.
The once-terrifying Witch of Eternal Night—whose magic had leveled battlefields—was now reduced to party tricks on Earth.
"Just... kidding," Kakayan said, conjuring a friendly smile.
Jiang Li chuckled along.
As the saying goes: when the CCTV dies, the taser comes alive.
"I'll pay!" Kakayan raised both hands in surrender.
Jiang Li frowned. "The Miss Witch who pockets fees and vanishes is offering compensation today?"
"I'm stingy, not stupid." Kakayan pouted, then began rummaging in her cloak. Moments later she straightened, chin lifted in pride.
"This is a strand of my hair—top-tier alchemical material. People beg for it; I never sell. You're getting a bargain."
"Not impressed? Fine—here's a potion recipe that boosts stamina. Call me 'Teacher' and I'll teach you a few advanced formulas."
She brimmed with confidence; these were treasures no ordinary mortal could buy. If today weren't an emergency, she'd never have let Jiang Li rob her like this.
She tilted her chin to gauge his reaction—just in time to see Jiang Li slowly clench his fist and drive it into the doorframe beside her.
Boom—
Rage meter maxed.
Both the Witch and the doorframe of apartment 302 flinched.
"Don't you have any jewelry on you?" Jiang Li asked, finally remembering chivalry and softening his tone. "Anything'll do."
"Jewelry?"
Kakayan shrank back, hands flying to shield her earlobes and chest.
"Not wearing any."
"None."
"I never wear jewelry."
Jiang Li didn't bother pressing the point. After all, Kakayan only had two hands—one guarding her left ear, the other her chest—leaving the ruby dangling from her right ear fully exposed.
The gemstone caught the light, shimmering with an enticing pink glow.
Old geezer, time to drop the loot.
"You can do it yourself, or I can," Jiang Li said.
"Uuu... okay."
With a pout, Kakayan slowly unclasped the ruby and dropped it into Jiang Li's palm.
"Don't worry," he said, pocketing the gem. "You just got to Earth and you're broke. Once you pay me back for the takeout, I'll return it."
He'd just paid three months' rent in one go; cash was tight, and he couldn't afford to let Kakayan freeload another meal. The Witch's reputation for broken promises was legendary—he needed collateral.
"Earth?"
Kakayan's pretty face scrunched in puzzlement, the unfamiliar word written clearly in her expression.
Seeing her confusion, Jiang Li figured she needed a crash course in modern survival tips.
"When you leave the building, keep heading right," he said, pointing outside. "Stop when you see the blue sign—that building's full of friendly Uncle Policemen. Ask them anything you don't understand."
With that, Jiang Li stood, stepped back inside, and shut the door without hesitation.
"Hey!"
Kakayan puffed one cheek and thumped the door. Just abandoning her like that—what kind of Hero was he?
She spun around to leave, but Jiang Li's door creaked open again.
Kakayan's expression flipped in an instant, her narrow eyes misting as if she might cry at any moment.
Sure enough, the ever-kind Hero couldn't bring himself to abandon a defenseless woman who'd just lost her magic.
And besides, it was raining outside.
"Before you go, take the trash out for me."
Jiang Li thrust a bulging garbage bag into her arms and shut the door.
Bang!
Click.
...
Evening settled over Room 302.
Steam curled in soft ribbons from beneath the round lid of a cup-noodle, carrying the rich scent of braised beef.
Jiang Li sat at the small dining table, phone in one hand and plastic fork in the other, counting down the seconds.
Leftover instant noodles were a rare luxury these days—an industrial delicacy.
To guarantee that first bite tasted exactly right, he had to wait the full three hundred seconds before peeling back the lid.
He stared at the screen: 295... 296... 297... 298... 299—
Knock-knock-knock!
As if fate were playing a prank, someone hammered on the door the instant the timer hit zero.
"Who is it?" he snapped.
"Police! Open up!"
The voice belonged to Uncle Policeman.
Jiang Li shot off the chair like a spring, sprinted to the living room, and slid Hero's Sword—the oversized restricted blade—under the couch.
Only then did he head for the door.
"Coming!"