"You actually know how to read that..."
Jiang Li's first thought when Kakayan read the subtitles aloud was that she must have memorized the mouth shapes. Then he realized—she had even repeated the words he'd spoken himself. And Jiang Li was looking through the camera feed!
"Never thought you'd learn so fast," he couldn't help saying.
Beside him, Kakayan toyed with a lock of her hair, unfazed. "Bubble tea."
Jiang Li scratched his head, resigned, and pulled out his phone to hunt for a coupon deal.
"Have you been secretly studying behind my back?" He still couldn't quite believe it.
Kakayan had already flopped back onto the sofa, eyes half-closed. "Not really. It feels like memorizing spells, just... more tiring."
From her tone, she sounded like some overworked intellectual.
Jiang Li frowned. He knew Kakayan only seemed slow because her worldview didn't quite fit on Earth—basically, a CPU incompatible with the operating system. Yet she was picking things up at lightning speed.
After a moment's thought he went into the bedroom, rummaged around, and re-emerged with two books: a Chinese dictionary and Romance of the Three Kingdoms.
He pressed both into her hands. "Try reading a few pages before bed each night. If you hit a character you don't know, look it up in the thick one."
At her current rate, Jiang Li figured she'd graduate from the novel by the time she finished it.
He opened the browser on his laptop, typed "pinyin tutorial" into the search bar, and set it to full-screen for her.
"So heavy..." Kakayan weighed the two books and wrinkled her delicate brows. "So tiring..."
"And I'm starving..."
If literacy weren't absolutely necessary, Kakayan wouldn't bother spending energy on it. It was exhausting. New spell incantations or unfamiliar potion recipes—no problem. But none of that existed on Earth...
After the pinyin lesson she curled up on the sofa again for a breather. A short nap later, she cracked one eye open and stole a glance at Jiang Li. Seeing him still seated and in no hurry to move, she finally prodded, "Didn't you say you'd buy me bubble tea?"
"I already ordered it."
"Where is it?"
Kakayan sat up straight, head swiveling left and right, her pink ponytail swaying like a living thing.
"The rider hasn't arrived yet—don't worry." Jiang Li glanced at his phone: five minutes to delivery.
"A rider? Like a knight on an iron steed?"
The words conjured the memory of her first day on Earth—the knight in yellow armor, fragrant with food, who had led her straight to Jiang Li's doorstep.
"Right, the delivery guy... uh, just think of him as someone who brings food."
"Oh." Kakayan blinked, only half-understanding. In her outdated worldview, knights were noble, chivalrous, and decked in glory. A proud witch still nodded politely to such humans.
"So bubble tea is precious enough to need a knight escort," Kakayan said loftily. "Didn't expect such generosity from you."
"You're welcome." Jiang Li couldn't be bothered to explain; she'd figure it out eventually.
About five minutes later, the tea arrived.
Jiang Li handed Kakayan the cup and a straw. She stared at the tube, puzzled—what was it for?
Pop. Jiang Li stabbed the straw through the lid and took a sip. Milky liquid slid up the straw.
Kakayan copied him. Her eyes lit up instantly.
"Try to finish it before evening—this stuff'll keep you awake." Jiang Li was about to remind her, but when he turned, she'd already downed a third. Hadn't she just eaten lunch?
"Careful, don't choke—there are pearls inside."
Cough-cough-cough! In the blink of an eye Kakayan sputtered, pearls jammed in her throat. She wasn't used to straws; every pull was too strong. Finally she tilted her head back and swallowed carefully, cupping a hand beneath her mouth.
Jiang Li winced. How could someone so quick to learn characters be so clumsy with a straw or chopsticks?
"Jiang Li, why is your drink a different color?" Soon Kakayan's cup began to gurgle. She turned to stare at his.
"Mine's coconut-milk flavored." To hit the coupon threshold he'd ordered two different cups—naturally giving Kakayan the pricier one.
"Coconut milk?" Kakayan pressed a finger to her lips, gaze fixed on his tea. Her desire for a taste was written all over her face.
"But I already drank from this one." Jiang Li swirled his cup with a wry smile. Surely she wouldn't want a sip after him.
"Just swap straws." Kakayan shrugged, utterly matter-of-fact. She yanked out her own straw before Jiang Li could protest.
Was she really this innocent—or just pretending? Jiang Li opened his mouth to refuse, but Kakayan leaned over, plucked the straw from his cup, and stuck it into hers.
"Don't be stingy; you can have what's left of mine." She pushed the nearly empty cup toward Jiang Li.
He didn't know whether to laugh or cry. Meanwhile Kakayan took a satisfied sip from his straw, cheeks puffing as she chewed the coconut jelly.
"Somehow yours tastes better," she murmured, lips glistening from the tea.
"Guess why," Jiang Li said wryly, staring at the two sips left in his own cup. He knew exactly why—even with a new straw, the microbes from his mouth were already in the drink. Believing a straw swap solved everything was pure self-deception.
Online wisdom insisted, "Water a girl drank from is automatically sweet."
Is it really that sweet?
Jiang Li worried that one sip would shave ten points off his IQ.
But his own cup had already been ruined by Kakayan.
There was no swapping it back now.
When he'd first ordered the bubble tea, Jiang Li had told himself it was a well-earned reward for finishing his video-editing marathon.
One sip in, the maddening woman had snatched it away like it was her birthright.
He stared at the glossy pout of her lips, still blissfully unaware.
A vein throbbed at his temple.
Damn it. So. Frustrating.
Both cups—hers now.
"Guess why it tastes so good?" Jiang Li's mouth crooked.
"Why?"
"Watch closely."
With that, Jiang Li lifted the half-empty cup, sucked down what little remained, then—
—spat it right back in.
"Understand now?"
He jerked his chin toward Kakayan.
She froze for a heartbeat, then realization dawned; delicate brows knitted together.
Her eyes dropped to the tainted drink.
Crimson flooded up her pale throat, spreading fast enough to watch.