At five in the morning, Yuan Xiu got out of bed. She prepared a soft, mushy breakfast for the two elders and left it simmering in the pot. Then, she rode her bicycle to the neighboring village to pick up the pork she had ordered from the butcher. Upon returning, she helped the two elders wash up and eat. After finishing these chores, she slurped down a bowl of porridge and hurried to the vegetable patch to pick today’s greens, taking the opportunity to turn over the soil in the adjacent plot where wheat was to be planted.
The old lady asked her to kill a chicken, so she grabbed an old hen that had been raised for over two years and slaughtered it deftly.
She stewed the meat, tossed a salad, and wrapped dumplings. Just as the aroma of the stewing meat filled the air, the person the two elders had been wishing for, day and night, for over twenty years finally returned.
A black sedan drove up to the courtyard gate, drawing all the adults and children in the village to crowd around.
Wearing an apron, Yuan Xiu stood on the steps outside the kitchen, craning her neck to look out.
There were too many people surrounding the car, so she could only make out a vague impression. But even from that vague impression, she could tell how richly Yuan Juan’er, who was getting out of the car, was dressed. It was a kind of elegance that was utterly out of place in this small village.
The old lady held Yuan Juan’s hand, calling her “my darling” over and over, while the old man, grinning with a mouth full of dentures, kept saying, “Good, good.”
The villagers looked at Yuan Juan with envious eyes, their gapped-tooth smiles on display as they offered compliments.
Meanwhile, Yuan Juan’s parents took out large bags of candy from the car and distributed them to everyone, causing the village children to chase each other in a frenzy, even more lively than the New Year.
Yuan Xiu smiled and slipped back into the kitchen to continue her work.
After she finished stir-frying a dish, she turned to find her aunt had entered at some point. She was looking at Yuan Xiu with an expression of pity mixed with a trace of regret.
In recent years, as she got older and her marriage prospects dwindled, she had often seen this kind of look.
“Aunt Yuan?”
Aunt Yuan quickly composed herself and smiled. “Xiu’er, why don’t you go out and see Yuan Juan? You two sisters haven’t seen each other in over twenty years. I remember you used to play so well together as children.”
Yuan Xiu wiped the sweat from her brow, lowered her head, and smiled. “I can’t get away from the kitchen. I’ll see her at dinner later, there’s no rush.”
Aunt Yuan sat down in front of the stove. “Then I’ll help you tend the fire.”
The sliced meat slid into the hot oil with a sizzle, its fragrance instantly released. Aunt Yuan took a deep breath. “Smells wonderful! I’ve eaten a lot of meals, but your cooking is the best! There isn’t a more virtuous or filial girl than our Xiu’er in this whole village.”
Yuan Xiu shook her head with a wry smile. “I’m already forty-five. What kind of girl am I?”
Aunt Yuan shot her a reproving look. “No matter how old you are, in the eyes of your aunt and your grandparents, you’ll always be a little girl.”
Yuan Xiu smiled without speaking, adding a spoonful of her homemade sauce to the wok.
“Xiu’er, don’t think I’m being nosy, I’m just looking out for you. Your grandparents are both over ninety. To put it bluntly, they probably don’t have many years left. You still need to find a partner for yourself. Otherwise, when your grandparents are gone, how will you manage all alone? I know a decent man. His first wife passed away from illness a few years ago. He has two children who are already married and have moved out, so there’s no burden. I told him about your situation, and he said he’s willing to move in with you and help take care of your grandparents until their time comes…”
The smile on Yuan Xiu’s face faded. She turned her back to get a plate. “Let’s drop it, Aunt Yuan. At my age, I don’t want to look anymore. When the day really comes that my grandparents pass, I can raise some chickens and ducks, tend to the fields, and live just fine on my own.”
Aunt Yuan wanted to persuade her further.
“Aunt Yuan, please go to the main hall and tell everyone to set the table. It’s time to eat.”
As soon as Aunt Yuan left, Yuan Xiu patted her chest, suppressing the stuffiness in her heart.
It was only when she brought the dishes out that Yuan Xiu got a truly clear look at Yuan Juan.
She sat next to the old lady, dressed richly and impeccably maintained. She didn’t look like a woman in her late forties, but rather someone in her early thirties. On the hand the old lady was holding, which was free of a single callus, she wore a glittering gold bracelet and a gold ring.
Yuan Xiu glanced at her and then lowered her gaze. In the past, everyone used to say they looked like they were born of the same parents. Now, she feared no one would say that anymore.
“This is… my older cousin, right?”
Yuan Juan stood up in feigned surprise, as if she had only just noticed Yuan Xiu. She stepped forward and grabbed Yuan Xiu’s calloused hands, saying warmly, “Yuan Xiu, long time no see! How have you been all these years?”
Yuan Xiu subconsciously took a step back, pulling her rough hands away. “I’ve been fine.”
The moment she looked up and met Yuan Juan’s eyes, she froze.
The look in Yuan Juan’s eyes astonished her.
It was a look of triumph mixed with relief, and above all, a sense of condescending superiority.
Yuan Xiu didn’t overthink it, assuming that her cousin, whom she hadn’t seen in over two decades, was simply relieved not to have ended up like her after seeing how aged and destitute she looked.
At the dinner table, Yuan Juan’s father, Yuan Xinmin, began to praise Yuan Xiu. “Your older cousin is so filial and capable! She manages everything inside and outside the house, taking such good care of your grandparents. If it weren’t for her, your grandparents wouldn’t have lived to this age. In our entire town, no, our entire county, no one can compare! Juan’er, when it comes to filial piety, you can’t hold a candle to your cousin.”
The old lady and old man quickly interjected, “Juan’er is filial too. She’s sent a lot of money back over the years.”
Yuan Juan revealed that same smile again. “I married far away and couldn’t come back to see Grandpa and Grandma often, so I could only send some money back for you to buy things to eat and drink. That doesn’t count for much. My dad is right, I can’t compare to my cousin. No wonder everyone praises her.”
Hearing these words, Yuan Xiu felt that the food in her mouth tasted like wax.
Yuan Juan’s return brought immense joy to the old couple. The old lady couldn’t bear to let her go back to town, so she had Yuan Xiu prepare a room for the younger uncle’s family to stay the night.
Yuan Xiu used a new set of bedding she herself had been reluctant to use to make the bed for Yuan Juan, and in return, she received a new set of clothes that Yuan Juan had brought back from the big city.
The clothes were exceptionally fragrant, so much so that Yuan Xiu sneezed.
“I’m returning it to you.”
“What?”
Yuan Xiu didn’t understand what she meant.
Yuan Juan smiled. “I remember I used to wear your hand-me-downs all the time when we were little. Consider this outfit a thank you for all those clothes back then.”
Yuan Xiu hadn’t expected this was what she meant by “returning.”
Before her parents passed away, she had been the most envied child in the village, with endless new clothes to wear and candy to eat. But this “envy” came to an abrupt end after her parents died one after the other.
Her younger uncle got a job at the town’s supply and marketing cooperative through her father’s connections, and she became the child who wore other people’s hand-me-downs.
Fortunately, she still had her grandparents. Although the two elders were a bit stubborn in their ways, they were still very good to their granddaughter.
After dinner, an exhausted Yuan Xiu went to bed early. In the main hall, separated from her by just one room, the Yuan family was chatting animatedly.
“…Juan’er, why didn’t you bring your husband back this time? Didn’t you already divorce the last one? It should be fine to bring this one back,” the old lady said, patting Yuan Juan’s back. As soon as her granddaughter returned, she had given her and the old man a thousand yuan each. There was no child more filial than this one.
Yuan Juan quickly shushed her, lowering her voice. “Grandma, don’t mention that. Be careful Yuan Xiu doesn’t hear!”
The old lady chuckled. “It’s fine. That girl sleeps like a log; even thunder won’t wake her. She won’t hear. Grandma is just worried about you. When your dad told me about your divorce, your grandpa and I were so worried. We were afraid they divorced you because they found out you weren’t…”
Aunt Yuan also chimed in, “Don’t worry. I went to the latrine just now and took a peek. She’s fast asleep. I could even hear her snoring.”
After this double assurance, Yuan Juan finally opened up. “It wasn’t him who wanted to divorce me, it was me who wanted to divorce him! You have no idea how hard it was living with him. He was so cold, never even cracked a smile at home! I even suspected there was something wrong with him. We were married for three years and had no children, and people thought it was because I couldn’t conceive. They had no idea what my life was really like!”
Aunt Yuan asked curiously, “He couldn’t perform?”
Yuan Juan’s expression instantly soured. It was far more complicated than him just not being able to perform. In their three years of marriage, they hadn’t even consummated it. No one would believe it if she told them!
“It was something like that. Anyway, I really regret marrying him! If I had known, I would have been better off…”
Before she could finish, her younger uncle interrupted her. “You think getting a divorce was a good thing? That Jiang Zhou is a high-ranking commander now. I’ve seen him on the evening news several times. The man you’re married to now can’t even compare!”
Aunt Yuan thought of Yuan Xiu, then looked at her niece’s ungrateful expression. “Don’t take your good fortune for granted. If your dad hadn’t intercepted the letters and packages he sent, and then acted first by having you go to the army base with the letter, would you be living this good life now? The good life you have now was all meant for Yuan Xiu!”
The younger uncle’s wife couldn’t stand hearing this. “That Jiang Zhou is so difficult to get along with. If it had been Yuan Xiu who went back then, with her personality where you can’t get a peep out of her, who could have lived with him? She probably would have been sent back long ago. She’s not as clever as our Juan’er, who divorced Jiang Zhou and immediately married her current husband. If it were Yuan Xiu, how could she have the good fortune our Juan’er has today!”
Aunt Yuan pursed her lips. “Only your family got the good fortune. What benefits did anyone else get? When my Xiao Jun joined the army, I asked Juan’er to pull some strings to get him a better post, but she just hemmed and hawed.”
Yuan Juan quickly said, “Aunt Yuan, it’s not that I didn’t want to help. I’m using Yuan Xiu’s name. The fewer people who know about this, the better. What if Xiao Jun let it slip and someone who knows Jiang Zhou found out? His old comrades-in-arms are everywhere. If that happened, would our family be any better off? We all deceived Yuan Xiu.”
The old lady slapped Aunt Yuan irritably. “Why do you talk so much? I’ve given you plenty of the things our Juan’er sent back. Now shut your mouth.”
Aunt Yuan laughed. “Oh, my dear mother, now that Juan’er is back, you’ve tossed both me and Xiu’er to the far side of the world. I’m just feeling sorry for Xiu’er. Look at her, she’s over forty, and in a few years she’ll be fifty, still not married.”
“Xiu’er is in no hurry,” the old lady said, her eyes half-closed. “When we’re gone, the house and the land will all be left to her. Whether she finds a man to marry into the family or marries out, she’ll be able to get by. And she won’t have to suffer under a mother-in-law at a young age like other young wives. Juan’er, you can help her out a bit more in the future.”
Yuan Juan nodded. “Don’t worry, Grandma. I’ll definitely help her…”
Inside the room, the conversation was lively. Outside, Yuan Xiu’s face was pale as she leaned against the windowsill, trembling all over.
A huge hole had been torn in her chest, and a cold wind was whistling in, threatening to freeze her solid, to kill her right here.
No wonder Yuan Juan never came back after marrying so far away. No wonder the family rarely mentioned Yuan Juan, so much so that for over twenty years, she never knew who Yuan Juan had married.
She understood now. She understood the meaning behind the looks from her aunt and Yuan Juan.
Look how pitiful you are. The life that was originally yours was stolen by someone else. That person returns to her hometown in glory, driving a sedan, while you can only toil here, drenched in sweat, preparing her welcome banquet.
Look how miserable you are! It’s a good thing I stole your life, so I don’t have to work myself to the bone like you, staying in the countryside as a village girl to take care of two elders who lost their eldest son and daughter-in-law, until the very last drop of your blood is squeezed dry. And then I can even condescendingly bestow charity upon you.
The laughable thing was, just a moment ago, she had been feeling fortunate, fortunate to have grandparents who were good to her.
Of course they had to be good to her. If they weren’t, how could they make her obediently stay at home and work like an old ox?
Of course her younger uncle had to call her filial. If he didn’t coax her with these words, how could he make her obediently stay in their old home to care for his parents for him?
And her aunt. No wonder she tried to set her up with a man who would agree to help care for the two elders. If not, wouldn’t the responsibility of caring for their parents fall on her, who was married in the same village?
It wasn’t that she didn’t know her family’s kindness was laced with their own selfish motives. But she had craved the sweetness coating that sugar-coated poison. Life was full of disappointments, and for her family, she was willing to give up certain things because she still had them, her close family. But the words she heard tonight had dealt her a vicious blow!
Yuan Xiu felt that her entire life had been pathetic, pitiful, and utterly laughable