19
‘Are you leaving already?’
I thought about this morning as I trailed after Toop, who was heading to the filming set.
The production had to pause yesterday due to his condition.
My body felt a little sore from last night’s activities, but the lingering awkwardness, despite it not being the first time, left me unable to meet his gaze during breakfast.
Yet, knowing he would not be home all day today
felt strange.
As I followed him, an inexplicable flutter stirred within me.
It was not as if we had spent that much time together before, nor was this the first time I would be home alone.
But at that moment, I felt something I could not quite place.
‘Yeah, the movie schedule’s tight.
Take care of yourself at home.’
He turned to look at me, and I nodded slowly.
‘What’s wrong?
Stop looking so gloomy.’
I frowned, not fully understanding what he meant.
‘Am I making a gloomy face?’
His expression tensed slightly as he raised an eyebrow in affirmation.
‘I didn’t mean to.’
‘Then why are you making it again?
I haven’t even said anything.’
‘No- No, you haven’t.’
I quickly shook my head.
‘Just go to work.’
That was what I said.
Although I wanted to ask him to stay a little longer, I had never voiced such thoughts before.
Why say it now?
It would not change anything.
‘I’ll call you when I get there.’
‘What?’
Startled by his words, I looked at him with surprise.
‘You… you’re going to call me?’
‘Is it so strange for a husband to call his wife?’
Toop’s face remained stern, but there was no harshness in his tone.
I felt an emotional shift, going from feeling forlorn as he described to suddenly breaking into a smile.
‘I’ll be waiting for your call, then.’
‘You’re that happy about it?’
There seemed to be the hint of a smile on his lips.
‘I- I’m not happy.’
Even though my face clearly showed my smile, I immediately denied it when he asked.
‘You said you’d call, so I’m just waiting.
Now go.
Drive- safely, okay?’
He smiled faintly without saying anything more, shrugged, and walked to his car.
As I watched him drive off, I waved at him slowly.
But soon an inexplicable melancholy arose again.
I missed him.
Yes, after returning to my room, sitting on the bed, and reflecting on my feelings, I realized I miss Toop.
It had been nearly an hour since he left.
Perhaps it was loneliness, but it felt deeper than before.
Maybe it was his recent kindness that made me feel this way.
I missed seeing him so much that I opened my phone to look at the pictures we took together last night.
But even that was not the same as being with him in person.
“Mr. Toop’s shirt.”
A wave of nervousness washed over me, and my face heated up.
I swallowed hard at the thought of picking up one of his worn shirts to sniff it.
But why would I do that?
Shaking off the thought, I stood up and remembered the little baby shoes I had bought earlier and stored in the closet.
“How cute.”
After knowing that the baby was on the way, I thought of many cute baby shoes that I had checked out.
There were so many things I had wanted to buy for the baby but had not had the chance to shop.
Standing there looking at the tiny shoes in front of the closet, my gaze wandered to the top shelf, where I had stored something I had taken off a while ago.
“Huh?”
Before I could tiptoe to grab the box from the top shelf, my phone rang from the bedside table, prompting me to shut the closet door.
In my hands, I still held the box of baby shoes I had picked up.
“Mr. Toop.”
I smiled with delight, but quickly adjusted my demeanor, even if he could not see my expression.
“Yes, Mr. Toop. Have you arrived yet?”
[Not yet. I’m just about to turn into the parking lot.]
“Then why…”
Why was he calling me now?
[Turn on your camera, Anshan.]
I did not quite understand his request but shifted my phone to video mode to talk face to face.
The moment his face appeared on the screen, I could not suppress my smile.
[What are you smiling at?]
Toop glanced at me, asking the question, but a moment later, he was smiling too.
“And you?”
[Am I smiling?]
He furrowed his brows, looking at the screen as if to confirm his expression.
His sharp eyes seemed to widen slightly.
“Yes, you’re smiling.”
Still driving, he seemed taken aback by the realization.
Perhaps because of this, a brief silence fell between us until he stopped the car in the parking lot and picked up his phone.
[I’m in a good mood, so I smiled.]
I nodded.
“I hope you have a great day. I hope you stay in a good mood all day.”
I smiled at him.
[You too.]
“Sorry?”
When he responded softly, I furrowed my brows, unsure of what he meant.
[I said, you too. Stay in a good mood all day so no one get scolded at the doctor’s visit.]
“I’ll protect you.”
Smiling again, I reassured him.
Toop seemed to chuckle, but as someone knocked on his car window, we had to end the call.
However, my smile lingered.
Staring at my phone, now resting on the bed, I held the box containing the same adorable baby shoes we had once bought together.
“We’ll buy even more soon, okay?”
This time, I was not just talking to myself as usual but speaking to the little one in my belly, my hand instinctively resting there.
Since learning about the life growing inside me, I had lost count of how often I touched my stomach this way.
What should I do next today?
Should I draw, or maybe…
“This one is so cute. Oh.”
I smiled as I browsed the baby section with Thian, who had called earlier while I was still debating how to spend the day.
In the end, she had me change clothes and waited for her to pick me up.
We went shopping together, as usual, but this time, she seemed extra cautious, watching my surroundings like a hawk.
I reassured her to relax, explaining that I was alright and that my morning dizziness had improved significantly.
“An, look. I’m swooning. Don’t you think this is adorable?”
P’Thian held up a baby bodysuit, showing it to me.
“Yes, it’s adorable.”
“Then let’s buy it.”
My eyes widened at Thian’s cheerful suggestion.
“I want to buy it just in case for my niece or nephew! This outfit is perfect—boy or girl, it’ll suit either. Let’s get it, An, please? Oh. That one looks great too. Let’s go take a look.”
I shook my head with a soft smile as Thian gently tugged my arm, leading me to explore at a leisurely pace.
“This one even comes with a hat.
My baby would look absolutely adorable in it.”
“You’re so invested, P’Thian.”
“Of course, I am.”
She beamed brightly, unbothered by my playful remark.
“And soon enough, you and Toop will be completely smitten with the baby.
Oh, An—”
“Yes?”
I responded while inspecting some of the clothes, each as adorable as Thian had described.
“When the baby starts kicking, you have to let me feel it, okay?”
“P’Thian, come on.”
I laughed, but she pouted dramatically, hugging my arm tighter and playfully rubbing her cheek against it.
“For P’Thian, always. But I might get ticklish.”
She grinned.
“I’ll be gentle. But you promised, okay?”
I nodded, smiling along with her before turning my attention back to the baby clothes.
“The fabric is so soft.
If I get the chance to go to Japan, I’ll pick some more up for you there too.”
“Let’s wait a bit longer for that, P’Thian.”
The kind cousin shook her head.
“In just a few months, this little one will be here to greet us all.
It’s good to prepare early.
Besides, I love shopping.”
“Reasoning of a shopaholic, huh?”
“Exactly.
But this time, I’m shopping for the little one, haha.”
Thian laughed cheerfully.
We ended up spending over an hour in the baby section.
She bought over ten outfits for the baby-to-be, while I convinced her to leave other items for another trip.
However, after paying and wandering for a while, I began feeling light-headed, prompting us to find a nearby restaurant.
“This place…”
After our late-morning meal, she had taken me for another stroll through the mall.
Yet somewhere along the way, when I sat in her car, I mentioned I did not have plans for the day, she grinned and drove us here—to a film set.
It was a location I had visited a couple of times before.
“It’s where Toop is filming his latest movie.”
My throat felt dry, as if swallowing was suddenly a challenge.
I surveyed the buildings and well-maintained green surroundings, now knowing who was working inside.
After she told me who it was, I found myself wanting to retreat to the car.
“What’s with that face?”
Thian moved to stand beside me.
“I didn’t bring you here to make you uncomfortable.”
“But…”
What about Toop?
What would he think if he saw me here?
“I’m sure Toop won’t mind.
And if he does dare complain, I’ll give him a smack.”
“P’Thian.”
“I’m serious.
If he complains, he deserves a smack.
You’ve been cooped up at home.
I wanted to bring you out to breathe fresh air and let this soon-to-be father see the other father working hard for the baby.”
“But we could’ve gone somewhere else.”
She shook her head and hooked her arm around mine.
“This is the perfect spot, and I’m sure it’ll be your favorite.
I saw how you reacted earlier in the mall when you passed that ad with Toop as the brand ambassador.”
“Me?”
Thian nodded.
“You miss him, don’t you?”
“I- I.”
Her teasing smile grew as she cupped my cheeks, squeezing gently, treating me like a little brother.
“Even with all the awards Toop has won for acting, he can’t fool me with his expressions.
Do you think you can?
Relax, Anshan.
I know you’re worried about your status with this superstar actor, but you’re here with me today.
And while I may not own this movie, part of its funding came from me.”
“Thank you, P’Thian.”
I understood her good intentions.
Even though I felt hesitant deep down, the thought of seeing someone here filled me with a budding sense of happiness.
“Great.
Let’s go, then.
I want to test a theory.”
“What theory?”
Thian chuckled but did not answer, instead linking her arm through mine and leading me forward as she usually did.
As we walked toward the set where Toop was filming—though I was not sure exactly where that was—I noticed a man and a woman walking past us.
From their name tags, I assumed they were part of the crew.
They were engaged in a quiet conversation about someone.
“He seems off again today, doesn’t he?”
The well-groomed man cupped his hand to whisper to the woman, who nodded in agreement.
“Totally.
I’ve been so worried.
He’s never been like this since we started working together.”
“Do you think he’s sick?”
“Maybe, but he looked fine this morning.
Actually, it’s just like yesterday, don’t you think?”
“What do you mean?
Yesterday, we all saw it clearly—he was retching and way moodier.
Even his manager looked unsettled.
Honestly, it’s worrying.”
I froze in place, turning to glance at the pair as they continued their conversation, oblivious to how loud they were.
I wanted to ask them what was going on, but before I could step closer, Thian held my arm.
Just then, a commotion from further ahead reached us.
“Mr. Toop has fainted!
Someone gets some smelling salts!”
“Mr. Toop…”
My heart sank.
My eyes widened, matching Thian’s alarmed expression as we exchanged glances.
Without hesitation, we hurried toward the scene to check on him.