Arden’s POV:
I sighed as I stepped out of my room slowly.
I headed for the garden to clear my head.
As soon as I walked into the garden, I saw Aunty Irene seated on the bench.
“Aunty what are you still doing here?” I asked in confusion.
I slowly sat down beside her.
“Oh dear, I guess I forgot the time” She said with a smile.
But her eyes were red.
It looked like she had been crying.
Why is everyone crying??.
“Aunty are you okay?” I asked worriedly.
“Of course I’m okay love, why do you ask?” She replied.
“Well. . . You look like you’ve been crying ” I said to her softly.
“Oh. . . It’s just the dust from the breeze” she said softly.
I nodded though I didn’t believe her.
“Where’s Muse?” she asked after a while.
“She’s asleep ” I replied.
“And you can’t sleep?”.
“No. . No, it’s just that. . . She was crying and it bothered me” I replied honestly.
“What did she say?” Aunty Irene asked.
“Nothing, she just asked for a hug ” I replied.
“It was quite weird”.
“Do you know what could’ve made her cry?” I asked her.
“Yes, I think I might’ve been the reason she cried” Aunt Irene said softly, her head down .
“Aunty you’re crying too” I said softly.
“Is something wrong?” I asked her.
“No, nothing is wrong dear. . . I’ve just been relieving some memories, that’s all” She replied.
My heart sank.
“Aunty what did you guys talk about” .
God.
.
.
No, please no.
Aunty Irene stared at me in guilt.
“You told her” I said softly.
She nodded slowly.
I quickly stood up.
” Arden calm down” Aunty Irene said as she also stood up.
“I. . I’m calm” I replied.
“Arden.
.
“.
“You’re shaking ” She said to me softly.
I stared at my hands.
They were shaking.
Why am I shaking?.
“I’m scared” I said honestly.
“I understand ” Aunty Irene said softly.
God, what was wrong with me.
“What if she leaves me” I said in panic.
“She won’t “Aunty Irene replied quickly.
“You don’t know that” .
I couldn’t breath.
My lungs felt heavy.
God, no.
.
This hasn’t happened in years.
I haven’t felt this feeling in years.
The fear of being abandoned.
The fear of not being chosen.
.
.
Again.
I tried to breath but it felt like my airways were blocked.
“Arden what’s going on ” Aunty Irene said worriedly.
“I. . I can’t breath” I choked out.
She gasped in shock.
“Arden calm down okay. . . everything is fine” She said as she came by my side.
I fell down.
My head felt heavy.
“Oh my gosh, Arden ” Aunty Irene said in panic.
“Hold on, I’ll be right back” She said and left quickly.
I tried to breath.
I really did.
But it felt like my own body was against me.
Soon I felt a pair of soft hands on my cheek.
” Arden you need to breath”The voice said calmly.
Muse.
What was she doing here.
“I. . Can’t ” I choked out.
“You can, just breath ” She said softly.
“I’ll count to Five, and when I do you’ll breath in okay” she continued.
I nodded softly.
“Good”.
“1. . 2. . 3. . 4. . 5, now breath in” she said calmly.
I took in a deep breath.
“And breath out” she continued.
I exhaled.
“Good, now continue. Deep breaths in”.
I breathed in again.
“And out”.
I exhaled.
“Keep on breathing, just focus on your breath” she instructed calmly.
Her voice felt soothing.
I breathed in .
And out. The source of this chapter is g.com.
Over and over again.
Till I could finally breath well.
I stared at her now.
Her hair was messy.
She wasn’t in her wheelchair.
“Where’s your wheelchair ” I asked softly.
“It’s not important right now” She replied with a small smile.
“Are you okay?” She asked, concern written all over her face.
“I am” I replied.
I lied.
I was scared.
Will she leave me like the rest.
I don’t think I’ll be able able to handle her leaving me.
Muse has come to be a dominant figure in my life over these few weeks, and I didn’t think I could handle her leaving.
“Are you going to leave me” I asked softly.
Muse froze in shock.
“Of course you are” I whispered.
Everyone leaves eventually.
I lowered my head deprecatingly.
Muse’s hands which were still on my face, raised my head.
I stared at her face in shock.
“Of course I’m not leaving you” she said to me.
My eyes widened in shock.
“You’re not?” I asked.
“Yeah” she replied with a smile.
“Why?” I asked in confusion.
“Because Arden, unlike what you might think I find you as someone I can depend on” She replied softly.
“I don’t think I can leave you anytime soon” she continued.
“What if you don’t depend on me anymore? Will you leave?” I asked.
“Only if you want me to” she said to me.
I stared at her.
Really stared at her.
She wasn’t lying.
She was serious.
“Thank you ” I said seriously.
Muse eyes softened as she pulled me in for a hug.
She muttered something under her breath which I didn’t catch.
But right now.
In this moment.
With her
I felt.
. safe.
I felt.
.
Happy.
I felt whole again.