Whoever tied the bell on the tiger's neck must be the one to take it off. Likewise, the only person who caused the emotional pain is capable of fixing it.
In Claire's case, the one who caused the emotional pain was gone forever, leaving her wounded for years.
However...
Was the cause of her trauma really another person? I pondered while listening to her story, letting her settle on my bare chest as we lay down on the grass by the pink pond.
This was the first time she wanted to confess about her trauma, so I wanted to be a good friend and brother for her, listening to her story seriously.
"Without me realizing, ten years has passed. I am really a pathetic person," she began.
I rubbed her grey hair. "Don't say that. It's not too late to do something."
"She's gone forever. My best friend, my little sister. I killed her."
"What happened?"
She buried her face on my chest. "You will hate me for sure."
I looked at the orange sky beyond the glassed rooftops. Time passed quickly as we spent time here. "In prison, there are many kinds of wicked people. A lot of those bastards boasted about their vile deeds. Yet, I talked to them sometimes because they were the only people I saw everyday. So, even if you have committed the most heinous deed, you are lucky I will definitely stay at your side. Besides, you are better than those motherfuckers, Sis."
Her body trembled so I thought she was crying. However, she pulled her head and laughed. Or rather, she did cry by the way she wiped her eyes.
"I find it funny that the one I am connected with after years is a former convict."
I rolled my eyes. "Well, sorry that I am not a prince in shining armor, duh."
She pecked my lips and pulled back. "I am glad it was you. Maybe because you are familiar with sins, I can open with you. Will you tell me your story later?"
"Sure. Ladies first."
She tapped her forehead against my chest a few times before pressing it. "Hmmm. Alright. Hmmm. I had a best friend that was like a little sister to me. She was the daughter of a maid here. We grew up together and our bonds were so tight..."
She turned back and looked at the orange sky. "We used to play a lot here. Chasing each other. Swimming in the pond. Plucking flowers to make a headband.. hehehe, I remember when Grandpa scolded us because we destroyed his favorite flowers."
Her hands trembled, so I grabbed them firmly and put my chin on her head.
"We had so many beautiful memories growing up... sobs... I just had to destroy it," she said, sobbing.
"I changed a lot when we entered high school. I met a lot of acquaintances from prestigious families. They flattered me so often that their words got into my head. I became a bully. I bullied a lot of people. Sandra, my sister, saw me turning into an asshole and reached me out to guide me back to the right path... But I... I actually refused her and even bullied her. I bullied her, harassed her, assaulted her for three years straight. But she... She never told anyone. She endured. She endured until we graduated... Sandra... I have wronged you...."
Her tears dropped to my chest, warm as the dot of light in the darkness. From her reaction, I knew she only ever told me about this after a decade. Many things had happened since then, but as long as we breathed air, nothing was ever late. And for someone who kept this dirty secret for years, the confession felt like a ray shining upon the dark path.
"Even after we graduated, she never told anyone about my harassment, believing I would change back. Even when working as my porter in the dungeon, she endured my constant assault. She looked so weak I wished her death... and it happened...."
"One day, we explored a D-rank dungeon. I thought it would be like another day. We would finish the dungeon and stay to bully our porters. However, the dungeon mutated mid-day to A-rank. Only master-ranked awakeners can handle such dungeons. The strongest among us was me, an expert-ranked awakener. Faced with such danger, everyone panicked and everything turned into chaos. Friends sacrificed each other to live for another second. I... I almost did that too until she slapped me and led me away, even though she was still an initiate-ranked. Man, I was so pathetic. However, for the first time, our relationship mended. We hid in a crack among the walls. For days, that monster couldn't find us. I thought we could wait there safely until reinforcements arrived... But that monster found us eventually."
"She actually pushed me into the narrower gap until it could only fit one of us... And she used her body as a shield. That colossal monster couldn't enter the gap, but one finger fit and stabbed her over and over. She never screamed. She only looked at me with a gentle smile until the light in her eyes faded. I couldn't even do anything. I... She... That warm smile... She never resented me. I wish I could turn back time and replace her. I don't deserve to live. Why am I still alive? If only the reinforcements could arrive faster.. no... It was my fault. I am such a bad person. I don't deserve to live. Why am I alive? Die. Die. Die."
Her hands left my grasp. She drew mana in her fingers and cut her wrist again.
I sighed. I showed my arm before her eyes. Drawing mana into my index, I stabbed my palm, letting the blood flow into her face.
"Rie? Rie you are hurt!" She immediately flipped over and pinned me down. "Why are you hurting yourself? Please don't do it."
"Sis, that should be my line. Why are you... even after you promised me? Do you think Sandra would be happy if she saw you like this?"
She averted her eyes. "I...."
"Please sister, take care of yourself. Make an effort to change. That's what Sandra would have wanted. That's what I want."
"Am... Am I allowed to do that?"
"You are not allowed to punish yourself. Someone must punish you, so you must be alive. Sandra never resented you, but what about her family? Take care of yourself first so you can receive your punishment from them. That is how you can atone for your sins."