Looking at the cunning teenager standing in front of him, Jiraiya felt like he had just been taught a profound lesson.
A lesson titled: As long as I have absolutely no shame, no one can use anything against me.
“Come on, Lord Jiraiya,” Senzan bargained smoothly.
“Just one jutsu.
Teach me, and I won’t breathe a word about your little hot spring hobby to the old man.”
Jiraiya’s eye twitched.
Begrudgingly, he bought the kid’s promise.
They relocated to the grassy hill behind the Hokage Monument.
Jiraiya crossed his arms, staring at the boy with a deadpan expression.
“Spit it out.
What jutsu do you want to learn?”
“Hmm…
how about Senjutsu?”
Jiraiya’s serious facade shattered instantly.
He actually stumbled, nearly face-planting into the grass.
“Absolutely not!
Sage Arts are way too complicated.
I can’t just teach you that on a whim.
Pick something else.”
Senzan shot the prime-aged Sannin a look of utter disgust.
“Hey, what’s with that look?!” Jiraiya snapped, feeling genuinely wronged.
“I can teach you plenty of other jutsu, but Senjutsu is completely off the table!” He felt like he was about to cry.
Why were kids these days so impossible to deal with?
His own new student, Minato, was such a good, obedient kid!
“Look at you,” Senzan sighed, shaking his head dramatically.
“You’re supposed to be one of the Legendary Sannin, but you can’t even teach me a simple Sage Art.
Tsk, tsk.
I guess you really can’t trust legends these days.”
Jiraiya gritted his teeth.
‘You little shit!’
“Fine, Sealing Jutsu then,” Senzan conceded.
“But I have a condition—you can’t just teach me one.”
“I…
how many do you want to learn?!”
“Let me think…
Fire Sealing Method, Five Elements Seal…
you know what, just teach me whatever sealing jutsu you have.
I know your sealing techniques are pretty second-rate compared to the Uzumaki clan, but hey, beggars can’t be choosers.”
Jiraiya felt his blood pressure rocket.
‘You little bastard!
You really don’t hold back, do you?!’
“We agreed on ONE jutsu!” Jiraiya yelled.
“Do you hear yourself right now?!”
“It is one jutsu,” Senzan argued effortlessly.
“They all fall under the general category of ‘Sealing Jutsu’.
Therefore, it’s one jutsu.”
Jiraiya felt an aneurysm coming on.
Fearing he might literally drop dead from sheer frustration before ever seeing a battlefield again, he yanked a scroll from his jacket and shoved it hard against Senzan’s chest.
“Take it!
I’m leaving!” Jiraiya barked.
“If I stay here another minute, you’re going to drive me to an early grave!
Goodbye!”
Poof!
A cloud of white smoke erupted, and Jiraiya vanished.
“Heh heh heh…
Scammed him again!”
Senzan flashed a wicked grin at the scroll in his hand, which bore the kanji for ‘Seal’.
Humming a jaunty tune, he made his way back home.
The Gekko clan compound was situated in the northern sector of the Hidden Leaf.
While not massive, it was a respectable private estate.
Of course, the entire clan was now reduced to just two people: Senzan and baby Hayate.
And for that unweaned toddler, Senzan was willing to give absolutely everything.
Pushing open the front door, Senzan found a woman puffing on a cigarette while amusing the two-year-old Hayate.
When she spotted Senzan, she flashed a brazen grin and immediately opened fire.
“Oh, the little brat is back,” she teased.
“What kind of ridiculous stunt did you pull today?”
Senzan’s face darkened.
“I broke into your house and stole your thong.
Does that count?” he shot back in annoyance.
Instead of getting flustered or embarrassed, the woman threw her head back and laughed uproariously.
“Did you really?
That’s weird—I could’ve sworn I left that thing stretched over my little Ebisu’s head!”
Senzan stumbled, nearly face-planting on the floorboards.
He shot her a look of profound resentment.
The woman’s name was Sami.
She was a Hidden Leaf Chunin, and her son was Ebisu.
Senzan had specifically hired her as a wet nurse and nanny to help raise Hayate.
But if he could turn back time, he never would have let this woman into his life.
She was an absolute menace—a shameless hooligan in the flesh!
Despite his two lifetimes of carefully honed degeneracy, he was completely outmatched by her sheer audacity.
“I’m sorry, Big Sis,” Senzan admitted defeat.
“I didn’t steal your underwear.
I just went out for a walk to see if I could scrounge up some missions.
We’re running low on milk money.”
Sami chuckled at his exasperated expression, clearly enjoying herself.
She was a single mother; her husband had died in the Land of Rain during the Second Great Ninja War.
Because her husband had been close comrades with Senzan’s parents, the two families were tight.
That was why Senzan had asked her to look after Hayate in the first place.
He just hadn’t expected her to be the reincarnation of a female bandit.
Later, when he found out her baby boy, Ebisu, would grow up to be one of the Hidden Leaf’s most notorious closet perverts, Senzan’s jaw had dropped so low he could have swallowed a durian whole.
“I’m heading out on a mission tomorrow,” Senzan said, his tone turning serious.
“I’m going to the Hidden Waterfall Village.”
Sami froze.
The ash at the end of her cigarette trembled, dangerously close to falling.
“Hey, hey, watch the ash!
Don’t drop it on Hayate,” Senzan warned.
Snapped out of her daze, Sami quickly stubbed out the cigarette in an ashtray.
“Don’t look at me like that,” Senzan smirked.
“You know how slippery I am.
Self-preservation is my number one priority.
Don’t worry, if things go smoothly, I’ll be back in a few days.”
He reached into his pouch.
“Oh, right.
Hold onto this for me.”
He placed a kunai on the table in front of her.
It looked entirely ordinary, except for a string of jutsu formula wrapped intricately around the handle.
It read: Daddy is Here!
The sheer troll energy practically radiated off the weapon.
“What is this?” Sami picked up the kunai, looking utterly disturbed.
“‘Daddy is here’?
Did you completely lose your mind?
You’re leaving me this junk as a keepsake?”
“Hmph, what’s with that look?” Senzan scoffed.
“Let me tell you, that right there is a forbidden jutsu formula.
Ever heard of the Flying Thunder God?
The Second Hokage’s signature space-time jutsu!
I totally risked my life—and definitely didn’t sneak in and steal it—to learn it!
Just you watch.”
Without another word, Senzan bolted out the door.
In the blink of an eye, he was completely out of sight.
Sami stared blankly at the empty doorway.
“Is this kid suffering from brain damage?
Maybe I really should drag him to the hospital…”
“Who’s brain-damaged?!”
A sudden ripple of chakra surged right beside her, and Senzan popped into existence out of thin air.
Sami jumped.
‘What the—?!’
Senzan reveled in her utter shock.
“See?
As long as that formula is there, I can use the Flying Thunder God to instantly teleport back!
Granted, I have to stay somewhat close for now, since it drains a massive amount of chakra.”
Out of all the overpowered abilities he had acquired, the Flying Thunder God and his Transparency jutsu were by far his favorites.
Instant teleportation plus absolute invisibility?
It was the ultimate, perfect toolkit for an invincible degenerate!