[Doujin Artist]: Huh?
Tsunayashiro Tokinada just died like that?
[Merc with a Mouth]: Good riddance!
The bastard murdered his own sweet, beautiful wife!
If it were up to Uncle Deadpool, I’d shove a Zanpakutō straight up his ass and twist until his hemorrhoids and intestines became one big smoothie!
[Doujin Artist]: I understand why you hate him, but could you PLEASE stop being so descriptive?
I’m eating breakfast.
Thanks.
[Riku-sama] [Group Owner]: What a coincidence.
So am I.
[Doujin Artist]: What are you eating?
Riku glanced at Uzumaki Kushina, whose cheeks were still faintly flushed, before replying.
[Riku-sama] [Group Owner]: Tomato milk.
[Doujin Artist]: ?
[Deathwish Count]: Tomatoes in your world produce milk?
[Riku-sama] [Group Owner]: Certain varieties do.
[Doujin Artist]: When you say “milk,” do you mean actual milk?
[Riku-sama] [Group Owner]: What else would I mean?
[Doujin Artist]: Send a picture!
[Riku-sama] [Group Owner]: Already finished it.
[Doujin Artist]: Bullshit!
What the hell are you actually doing?!
I KNEW there was something suspicious about you claiming to be busy!
Is THIS what you’ve been busy with?!
[Merc with a Mouth]: Hey, what happened?
Why are boss lady and the boss suddenly fighting?
[Deathwish Count]: Don’t interrupt.
Just watch.
[Riku-sama] [Group Owner]: Huh?
What are you talking about?
[Doujin Artist]: Still pretending you don’t understand?
Fine, answer me honestly.
Is Kushina big?
[Riku-sama] [Group Owner]: Oh no!
Would you look at that?
My chat system seems to be malfunctioning.
I can’t see any messages.
Better log off for now.
Talk later!
‘Chat system malfunction, my ass!’
Eriri was so angry her twin-tails practically stood on end.
[Doujin Artist]: GO DIE, YOU PERVERTED MARRIED-WOMAN FETISHIST!
…
In the shinobi world, a fully dressed Riku opened his front door and immediately found Uchiha Itachi approaching with a small shoulder bag.
“Uncle.”
“Whoa, this is historic!” Riku raised an eyebrow and exaggeratedly looked him over.
“Young Master Itachi is actually walking to the Academy by himself?
What was our esteemed clan head thinking?
He didn’t arrange two little maids to trail behind and wait on you?”
“We’re Uchiha, not Hyūga,” Itachi replied with a helpless sigh.
The Hyūga divided themselves between the Main Family and Branch Family, with members of the latter born into a life of service to the former.
That service did not stop at household duties either; they were expected to act as sparring partners and bodyguards as well.
“I’m pretty sure your old man wishes we were more like the Hyūga,” Riku said with a mocking smile.
“Then he wouldn’t spend every day terrified that somebody in the clan might disagree with him.”
“Mother argued with him again last night,” Itachi said quietly. This chapter was taken from g.com without permission.
“Huh?
That wasn’t because of me again, was it?”
Itachi simply stared at him.
“Hey, I haven’t even been to your house for days!” Riku protested, scratching his head.
“Mother wanted to bring you dinner last night.
Father stopped her.”
Itachi explained the situation with a perfectly neutral expression.
“He said you were already an adult and needed to learn how to live independently.
Neither of them would back down, and they kept arguing until they woke Sasuke.”
“Over something that minor?” Riku asked helplessly.
“I think it was only the latest argument after years of accumulated resentment.”
Despite his young face, Itachi somehow managed to look world-weary.
“Their personalities were never particularly compatible.
They only married because of political considerations within the clan.
Without outside pressure, they probably could have continued living together peacefully enough.
But now that you’ve become another factor in their relationship…”
“Hold on.
Since when did you become a marriage counselor?” Riku rolled his eyes.
“And what exactly do you mean by ‘another factor’?
Your mother and I have a perfectly innocent sibling relationship.”
“Whether it’s innocent or not, your presence still takes away some of Mother’s attention from the household and from Father.”
“Then I’ll leave.”
“Even if you left Konoha today, their relationship wouldn’t return to what it was before.
If anything, Mother would probably become even more distant from Father because you were gone.”
Riku pulled a pouch of yogurt from his pocket, pushed in the straw, and took a sip.
“So what exactly are you suggesting?”
“I think you should involve yourself completely in their marriage and take Mother away from him.”
Pfft!
Riku sprayed yogurt everywhere.
His eyes went wide.
Several nearby villagers turned to stare, prompting Riku to hurriedly drag Itachi out of the shopping district before lowering his voice.
“What the hell are you saying?!”
“I believe it would be the most effective solution to our family conflict,” Itachi replied with complete seriousness.
“Hahahahaha!
I like this plan!” Kushina’s delighted voice sounded from inside Riku.
“Don’t encourage him!
This is something we need to—”
Riku stopped halfway through his sentence.
His gaze shifted toward a cluster of buildings on the right, and his brows rose slightly.
“They’re here already?
A little earlier than I expected.”
“Who?” Itachi asked, immediately alert.
“My future teacher.”
Riku smiled and ruffled his nephew’s hair.
“Come on.
You’ll be late for class.”
The two gradually disappeared down the street.
…
“He noticed us?”
From an alley between the buildings, Shizune stared after them in surprise.
Her dark hair was cut neatly around her jaw.
“That’s impressive.
Is that the Sharingan’s perception?”
“It had nothing to do with the Sharingan.”
Tsunade stood beside her with long blond hair tied into twin tails and her usual dark-green haori draped over her shoulders.
“That brat simply has excellent sensory perception.”
“But his file says he isn’t a sensor-type shinobi.”
Reality is reality.” Tsunade gave her a flat look.
“If intelligence reports were always perfectly accurate, shinobi battles wouldn’t be nearly as complicated as they are.”
“That’s true.”
Shizune nodded thoughtfully, then smiled.
“I didn’t expect you to care this much about your prospective junior disciple, Lady Tsunade.
You even came personally to evaluate him.”
“Hmph.
I never said I was taking him as a student.”
“Eh?”
“I don’t particularly dislike the Uchiha, but I’m not fond of them either.” Tsunade folded her arms.
“I only came back to Konoha because the old man promised me thirty million ryō.”
“B-But you already agreed to—”
“I agreed to make an effort to teach him.
That doesn’t mean he automatically qualifies.” A mischievous smile appeared on Tsunade’s face.
“Medical ninjutsu has a minimum standard.
We can’t waste all our time on someone who has no aptitude for it, can we?”
Shizune looked curious.
“What standard did you have in mind?”
“He has seven days to learn the Mystical Palm Technique.
That seems reasonable.”
Shizune sucked in a sharp breath, her eyes widening.
Reasonable?!
It had taken her nearly half a year to learn the Mystical Palm Technique, and Tsunade wanted this boy to master an A-rank medical ninjutsu in seven days?
“Lady Tsunade…
perhaps you could try being a little more humane?”
Tsunade frowned.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Demanding that someone learn an A-rank technique in seven days is a little unfair.
Even the Third Hokage probably wouldn’t accept that condition.”
Shizune tried to phrase the criticism as delicately as possible.
Tsunade raised an eyebrow.
“What’s this?
Did you see that brat’s face and suddenly start getting ideas?”
“W-What?!
Of course not!”
Shizune’s face instantly turned bright red, and she waved both hands frantically.
“I just think the standard you set is completely unreasonable!
That’s all!”
“Is that so?”
Tsunade yawned.
“Fine.
We’ll change it to the Delicate Illness Extraction Technique.”
Then she casually added, “You can go teach him yourself for the next few days.
If he manages to learn it, I’ll make an exception and accept him as my student.”
“M-Me?”
Shizune pointed at herself in disbelief.
“Mm-hm.
I’m creating an opportunity for you.”
Tsunade turned and began walking away, lazily waving one arm over her shoulder.
“Good luck.
Whether anything comes of it is up to you.”
“I…”
Shizune opened her mouth, but no words came out.
She could only stand there in the alley, completely at a loss.