[Volume 1: First Arrival in the Ninja World]
Dear readers, the eighteen-centimeter pickup point is right here.
Only the true Uchiha Sasuke may claim it (broken arms, blindness, and tragic backstory not included)
Ai Puchang was ordinary in every measurable way.
Average looks.
Average build.
Average family.
Average social skills.
Even average in that department.
A guy this thoroughly unremarkable naturally had no girlfriend.
Every few days he’d curl up under the covers for some slow-motion left-hand-right-hand action.
On months when he had a little cash left over, he’d order a 1:1 life-size adult figure online.
Life was simple, but he wasn’t complaining.
That comfortable life had just been violently shattered.
Rewind thirty minutes.
Ai Puchang had just finished a magnificent bowl of braised chicken in the cafeteria and was taking a lazy post-meal stroll when he spotted something on the road: a blue cartoon watch, just sitting there.
He lunged.
Not grabbing a freebie makes you an idiot.
Let alone a watch, honestly, if a grain of rice dropped on the ground, he’d pick it up and pop it in his mouth to taste the salt.
That was Ai Puchang’s personal creed.
Never waste a thing.
He grabbed it.
Before he could even make out what it looked like, the watch dissolved into a streak of light and shot straight into his skull.
In the mental space that followed, Ai Puchang and the “watch” stared each other down for a long, awkward stretch.
Eventually the watch broke first and introduced itself.
Apparently it was cutting-edge technology from the future, accidentally dropped through a spatial wormhole into the present day.
“So what can you actually do?” Ai Puchang leaned in, every inch the veteran Naruto fan, face lit with anticipation.
“Can you break my limits and make me an ANBU powerhouse?”
Watch: “…?”
“Heh.
Humans.” The watch shifted into full bravado without missing a beat.
“I am genuine top-tier black technology.
Full designation: [Universe Invincible, Supreme Across All Realms, Unrivaled Under Heaven, Ultimate Entry Compendium]!”
“With this Compendium backing you, you’ll be the god of the entire Water Blue Star!
You won’t even need to eat beef — you could fire off Getsuga Tenshou in the middle of a crowded street and nobody would dare say a word!”
Ai Puchang’s dead-fish eyes went wide.
The confidence.
The sheer towering energy.
Was this really happening?
Was he about to start living a full cheat-code life?
“Universe…
uh, Ultimate Compendium.” He straightened up.
“In that case — let’s begin our conquest of the world.”
“Already?” The Entry Compendium nearly choked.
“Bro, you haven’t done a single thing yet and you’re talking about conquering the world?
What do you take me for, the Creator God?”
Ai Puchang paused.
“…Aren’t you?”
“…Okay, fine, you’ve got a mouth on you.” A beat.
“But you still eat a meal one bite at a time.
Here’s what we’re doing: go find a girl, get close to her, see what ability you can draw out of the interaction.
Then I’ll map out your development from there.”
“Get close to a girl?
Me?”
“Yes, you.
Obviously not me.” The Entry Compendium dug a finger into its nose, then flung Ai Puchang’s consciousness clean out of the system space.
“Get moving.
The Creator God requires rest.
When I wake up, you’d better have results.”
“Hello!
I’m Little Sheep.
Could you…
give me some grass?”
SLAP, “Get away from me, you pervert!”
Ai Puchang stood on the sidewalk and watched the girl sprint into the distance, already looking back over her shoulder while she dialed the police.
He pressed one hand to his swelling cheek.
He wanted to cry.
The tears wouldn’t come.
“Compendium.
Hey, Compendium, are you awake?
This is completely impossible.
I cannot get a single girl to talk to me!”
Silence.
Deep, peaceful, completely unhelpful silence.
“Haah…” He drifted through the streets, heavy with misery.
He wasn’t exactly a good person, but forcing himself on some random innocent woman was a line he couldn’t cross.
Going the dating route meant time, energy, money, and emotional labor, and she still might not go all the way.
And if she did and then turned around and accused him of rape?
That would be an explosion he’d never recover from.
Red Romance?
Find a couple of friendly professionals?
At least that would trigger the system.
The problem was the risk of walking away with a genuine case of Ai-qing, the decidedly non-romantic, incurable kind.
“Hm?”
Lost in thought, Ai Puchang felt a chill crawl up the back of his neck.
He turned around.
His face went white.
“IWC!”
A pitch-black truck with no wheels was floating in midair, bearing down on him at full speed.
BOOM,
His body launched like a ragdoll and slammed back down onto the pavement, completely still.
His soul, meanwhile, found itself plastered to the front grille.
The driver reached into his pocket, produced a purple cloud-patterned Devil Fruit, tossed it into his gaping mouth, and started chewing.
“Boss,” he said, muffled.
“Package delivered.
Where am I dropping this one?”
The walkie-talkie crackled.
A hesitant voice came through: “Hmm…
send him to [Legend of Black Zetsu’s Mother Rescue: Eye Chronicles].”
At some point, Ai slowly opened his eyes.
Dizziness hit in waves.
He looked around and found himself seated in a sprawling office, corridors branching outward in every direction.
Outside the windows stretched an endless sea of clouds.
Sunlight filtered through the layers and fell across the room in warm gold.
“Where is this?” he muttered.
“Pretty sure I just got killed by something supernatural…”
The sensation had been too real for a dream.
Before he could make sense of any of it, a flood of memories came crashing in, racing through his brain like a school of frantic tadpoles.
A splitting headache followed.
He saw himself as a small child, grinding through brutal training on the grounds of Kumogakure.
He saw himself meeting Killer B for the first time, the two of them tearing through mountain forests, sparring and fighting side by side, building a brotherhood that went bone-deep.
He saw the clash with Namikaze Minato, the Flying Thunder God that left him breathless with shock, and lit something fierce and ravenous in his chest.
The memories kept surging.
All the way until he became the Raikage, the new leader of Kumogakure, revered and feared across the entire ninja world.
“So…
so I’m not some unloved nobody after all.” Ai shot to his feet, eyes blazing.
“I’m the world-shaking…
Doujin Raikage!”
He stared at his own arms.
Thick, dense muscle packed from shoulder to wrist.
He felt the chakra roiling inside him like a storm with nowhere to go.
Something enormous and untameable rose in his chest.
“PERFECT.” He let out a laugh that bounced off every wall in the room.
“My whole last life, I was a single loser with nothing going for me — and now heaven finally took pity and dropped me straight into the body of the Fourth Raikage from Naruto!”
And what a body it was.
The Fourth Raikage, A, a titan of the ninja world by any measure.
Sure, the shredded physique, the dark skin, and the signature blond hair had earned him the internet nickname “Doujin Raikage.” But that name had never bothered Ai.
Not even a little.
“This man was a genuine legend.
A man among men.
And they slapped that name on him just because of his muscles, his complexion, and his hair color.
Completely undeserved!”
Ai clenched his fist.
“Now that this body belongs to me, I absolutely refuse to let those rumors and slanders…” A beat.
“…go to waste.
HAHAHAHA!”
➤ Next: Madness, the Beast in the Office