I hadn't stepped outside for nearly half a year.
For the past six months, my world had shrunk into the narrow space between my desk, my manuscript, and the stacks of crumpled paper scattered across the floor. I locked myself away to write my new book, and after countless revisions, the first volume had finally begun to take shape.
My editor, Miss Anko, came by once a month to confirm I was still alive. Each time, she would stand at my doorway with that sharp, half-amused expression, look me up and down like she was checking whether I had turned into a corpse, then casually drop off groceries and daily supplies before leaving with my finished drafts.
Naruto used to come every weekend when the Ninja Academy was off. At first, he would burst into my house full of energy, filling the quiet rooms with his loud voice and endless stories. Later, perhaps realizing that I was genuinely busy, he began visiting less often. His weekly visits gradually became monthly, and even those became irregular.
Shikamaru and Aunt Yoshino also visited a few times. Every time they came, they brought enough bento boxes to feed me for several days. Aunt Yoshino would scold me for neglecting my meals, while Shikamaru would stand nearby with his hands in his pockets, lazily saying that starving myself over work was troublesome.
I knew they cared.
I knew Naruto cared too.
But I kept telling myself that I was busy.
I had outlines to draft, plots to arrange, characters to refine, and entire sections to tear apart whenever they failed to satisfy me. I wrote, deleted, rewrote, and polished until the days blurred together. Sometimes, when Naruto came over, I simply let him play by himself while I continued working.
He wasn't noisy.
He would sit quietly on the floor of my study and draw, or lean over the small coffee table to finish his homework. Occasionally, he would glance at me, probably wanting to say something, but when he saw my pen moving nonstop, he would lower his head again.
Still, Naruto was never the kind of child who could remain still for long.
After a while, he would run outside to play.
I thought that was fine.
After all, he now knew Shikamaru and Choji. Choji was kind, and Shikamaru was far more reliable than his lazy appearance suggested. With them around, Naruto probably wouldn't end up completely alone like before.
That thought gave me permission.
Or rather...
It gave me an excuse.
So, with what I called a clear conscience, I shifted almost all my attention from Naruto back to my work.
Only today, when I counted the days, did I realize Naruto hadn't visited me for almost a month.
Before this, I had been so deeply buried in the plot of my new book that I hadn't noticed time passing. Now that the first volume was nearly finished, the quietness of my house suddenly felt strange.
Too quiet.
"...Tomorrow is the weekend."
I looked at the manuscript on my desk and murmured to myself.
"I should go find Naruto and treat him to ramen."
As soon as I said that, my stomach growled.
I glanced at the clock.
Four in the afternoon.
I had forgotten lunch again.
Sighing, I stood up and walked to the fridge, planning to make do with a rice ball. But the moment I opened the refrigerator door, an urgent knock sounded from the entrance.
Knock, knock, knock.
The sound was too fast.
Too tense.
My hand paused.
"Anko?"
I closed the fridge and walked to the door.
When I opened it, Shikamaru and Choji were standing outside.
Shikamaru's hand was still raised in midair, frozen halfway through another knock. His brow was faintly furrowed, and his lips were pressed into a tight line. Choji stood behind him with a bag of potato chips dangling from one hand, but for once, he wasn't eating.
Both of them looked serious.
A cold feeling slowly spread through my chest.
"...What happened?"
Shikamaru wasted no time.
"Naruto hasn't come to school for several days."
The world around me seemed to go silent for a moment.
"What?"
"I saw him on the street after school yesterday," Shikamaru continued quickly, his voice calm but tense. "He made a bet with some classmates. Those guys deliberately provoked him and told him to go to the back mountain to get some kind of token."
He frowned deeper.
"I warned him not to go. But..."
He didn't finish that sentence.
He didn't need to.
Choji clutched his potato chip bag tighter, making the plastic rustle.
"This morning, Teacher Iruka called roll, and Naruto was still absent," Shikamaru said. "I told him what happened, so he had everyone do self-study and ran out to look for Naruto himself."
My fingers tightened around the doorknob.
Shikamaru's voice became lower.
"Outside the school, Choji and I ran into a silver-haired Jonin with half his face covered. He stopped us and asked a few questions. After I told him about Naruto and the back mountain, his expression changed. Then he went there too."
Choji nodded quickly.
"That Ninja was incredibly fast. He disappeared in the blink of an eye."
Shikamaru looked straight at me.
"Teacher Iruka went to the back mountain."
He paused.
"That Jonin went to the back mountain too."
The emphasis in his tone made my stomach sink.
"If it were only a children's bet, Teacher Iruka going alone would probably be enough," Shikamaru said. "But if even a passing Jonin rushed over after hearing about it, then the situation might be more troublesome than I thought."
He hesitated.
Then his gaze softened slightly.
"You're the closest person to Naruto. I thought... you should know."
My hand slipped from the doorknob.
A buzzing sound filled my head.
For a second, I couldn't breathe.
The back mountain.
A token.
Absent for several days.
Iruka went there.
Kakashi went there too.
All those fragments spun through my mind like shattered glass, cutting into every thought before I could grasp them.
But one fact remained nailed firmly in place.
Naruto was in the back mountain, and he hadn't come back.
My stomach twisted violently.
I bent forward and dry-heaved, but nothing came out.
Shikamaru's expression changed.
"Hey—"
"I'm going to find him."
The voice sounded strange.
Too hoarse.
Too distant.
As though it had come from somewhere deep inside my body without permission.
Then my body moved before my mind could catch up.
I pushed the door open wider and squeezed past Shikamaru and Choji.
"Wait!" Shikamaru shouted behind me. "Where are you going to look?! Teacher Iruka already went to the back mountain! Go to the school first and wait for news—"
But I was already running.
The wind rushed into my ears, swallowing the rest of his words.
I didn't turn back.
I couldn't.
My bare feet hit the rough stone path outside my house. Cold, hard stone pressed against my soles. Loose gravel dug into my skin, sharp as needles with every step.
I hadn't even put on shoes.
But I didn't stop.
Pain climbed up from my feet, but it felt distant.
Almost unreal.
Maybe I needed that pain.
Because without it, my legs might have gone weak, and I might have collapsed right there.
Fear hollowed out my chest.
Was this event in the original story?
Had something like this happened before?
I desperately tried to remember.
But too much time had passed.
Almost seven years had gone by since I arrived in this world. Memories that once felt clear had become blurred and scattered. No matter how hard I searched my mind, I couldn't find the answer.
Was Naruto supposed to be safe?
Was this part of the original plot?
Or had something changed because of me?
My breathing grew harsher.
What should I do?
Would Naruto get hurt?
Was he scared right now?
Was he waiting for someone?
For me?
The thought struck like a blade.
What had I been doing these past six months?
Was I truly that busy?
Was my work really so important that I could ignore a child who trusted me?
No.
That wasn't it.
A crueler answer rose from the bottom of my heart.
I had been hiding.
After realizing that I was becoming deeply connected to this world, I had retreated into my shell like a coward. I told myself I was working. I told myself I was protecting the story. I told myself that keeping distance was safer.
But in truth...
I was afraid.
Afraid of caring too much.
Afraid of belonging.
Afraid that if I reached out too far, I would never be able to return to where I came from.
And now Naruto was missing.
What the hell had I been doing?
My lungs burned from running too fast.
Every breath scraped through my chest like fire.
The Academy gate was already close.
Just a little farther.
Just—
My foot caught on a raised flagstone.
The world lurched.
My knees slammed hard into the ground.
Pain exploded through my legs.
My palms scraped across rough stone, skin tearing under the impact. The oversized T-shirt I was wearing caught against the ground and ripped slightly. Sharp gravel bit into my knees, and warmth quickly spread beneath the fabric of my shorts.
Blood.
My knees were bleeding.
For one breath, I stayed frozen on the ground.
Then I forced myself up.
My hair was a mess, tangled and stuck to my sweaty face. Dirt covered my hands and feet. Gravel clung to my skin.
But I kept running.
The school gate finally came into view.
And there—
I saw him.
Iruka stood near the entrance with one hand resting firmly on Naruto's shoulder.
Naruto looked filthy. His clothes were covered in dirt, and his hair was messier than usual. But he was standing.
He was alive.
He didn't seem badly injured.
Iruka, on the other hand, had a tear in his right sleeve and a shallow scratch across his face.
Naruto stood stiffly in front of him, listening to whatever lecture Iruka was delivering. His mouth was slightly pursed, carrying that familiar expression of being scolded while still feeling wronged, wanting to talk back but not daring to.
The strength in my legs nearly vanished.
I leaned against the wall beside the gate, gasping for breath.
The burning in my chest slowly eased.
Only then did the world regain sound.
Iruka's voice.
Naruto's quiet muttering.
The distant rustle of leaves.
My own uneven breathing.
After a moment, I pushed myself away from the wall and limped toward them.
Iruka noticed me first.
His eyes widened slightly.
I probably looked terrible.
Barefoot.
Knees bleeding.
Palms scraped.
Hair disheveled like I had crawled out of a bush.
For a second, he looked so startled that he reflexively released Naruto's shoulder and took half a step back.
Naruto followed his gaze.
Then he saw me.
His blue eyes widened instantly.
His pupils shrank.
"Sis—!"
His voice cracked with shock.
"Why are you here?!"
I didn't answer.
I walked straight toward him.
Every step hurt.
But I didn't care.
When I finally reached him, I grabbed him and pulled him into my arms.
Then I held him tightly.
So tightly.
As though if I loosened my arms even slightly, he might disappear.
Naruto froze.
His small body stiffened in surprise.
Then, slowly, his hands lifted and clutched the back of my shirt.
He didn't say anything.
Neither did I.
All the fear, guilt, panic, and regret that had been clawing inside my chest finally surged up at once.
My throat tightened painfully.
I lowered my face against his messy blond hair.
He smelled like dirt, sweat, leaves, and the cold wind of the back mountain.
But beneath all of that...
He was warm.
Alive.
Here.
At that moment, I finally understood something I had been refusing to admit.
The place I had been trying to return to...
The place I called my original home...
Was no longer the only place that could make me afraid of losing someone.
Because somewhere during these six years, without asking for my permission...
Naruto had already become part of the place my heart returned to.
And as I held him beneath the Academy gate, trembling harder than he was, one terrifying thought silently echoed through me.
If I kept pretending I was only an observer, then one day, I might lose everything before I ever had the courage to reach out.
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