The detention at the edge of the playground didn’t last long.
The Chunin instructor leaned half his body out of the school building, dark-faced, and waved his arm hard.
“Uchiha Yoru! Back to the classroom! Get ready for theory class!”
His tone carried all the exhaustion of a man pleading, *Please, I’m begging you, stop wrecking the playground.*
Yoru curled his lip, shoved his hands in his pockets, and swaggered back inside.
The instant he pushed open the classroom door, his eyes fell first on Kakashi Hatake, seated in the front row.
He had to admit — the physique of ninja-world people, combined with medical ninjutsu, was flat-out absurd.
Just tens of minutes ago, Kakashi had been on his knees on the playground, dripping blood.
Now, both legs wrapped in thick layers of bandages, he was somehow sitting perfectly steady in his chair.
Back straight, posture upright, his masked face utterly composed — as if the boy who’d suffered such a mortifying injury moments ago wasn’t him at all.
When it came to looking cool, Kakashi took the job dead seriously.
As Yoru walked past, Kakashi turned his head a fraction, sliding his gaze over.
The two locked eyes for 0.3 seconds.
There was no anger in those dead-fish eyes — only pure disgust.
That cold stare fixed on Yoru; roughly translated, it meant: *You’d better pray we never end up on the same squad as long as we both live.*
Yoru grinned back at the look, smoothly blew him a kiss, and slipped to the back row with a clear conscience.
Kakashi’s thigh muscles twitched violently, the wound tugged by the pain, and he snapped his head back around as fast as if he’d swallowed a fly.
［Emotional Damage Points from Kakashi Hatake, +199!］
Yoru pulled out his chair and sat down.
Beside him, Obito was sprawled across the desk, fingernails gouging fiercely into the corner of it, scraping circles until wood chips were nearly flying off.
He was still muttering, weak and unceasing.
“Why did it curve… Why would a kunai bend… I was clearly the victim, so why did Rin have to go and bandage that poser…”
Yoru couldn’t be bothered with this perpetual motion machine stuck in an emotional dead end.
He closed his eyes and let his consciousness sink straight into the system space.
The number in the top-right corner stood out sharply: balance, 24,550 points.
Enough capital for two ten-draws.
Yoru rubbed his hands together in his mind.
The last ten-draw had coughed up a pile of trash.
By the metaphysical law of “pity conservation,” he’d already been backstabbed by the system once, so his luck was due to turn.
“System, quit stalling — start the second ten-draw!”
Ten thousand points, deducted in an instant.
The wheel spun like mad, and ten beams of light came crashing down.
The first nine shattered one after another.
［Congratulations on obtaining a common item: Premium Facial Tissue That Causes Acne After Use ×1］ Find the original chapter at g.com.
［Congratulations on obtaining a common item: Military Canteen That Makes You Thirstier the More You Drink ×1］
［Congratulations on obtaining a common item: Ninja Sandals That Fall Off on Their Own While Worn ×1］
［Congratulations on obtaining a common item: Premium Calligraphy Brush That Always Leaks Ink While Writing ×1］
［Congratulations on obtaining a common item: Wooden Comb That Sheds Teeth After Use ×1.
Description: Every morning as you comb your hair, one tooth is guaranteed to snap off and lodge in your scalp.］
［Congratulations on obtaining a common item: Blindingly Fluorescent Green Underwear ×1.
Description: Wear it and you’re the brightest light source in the night; even several layers of pants can’t block its penetrating glow.］
［Congratulations on obtaining a common item: Concentrated Stinky-Tofu Juice That Clears Your Head in One Whiff ×1.
Description: A pure biochemical weapon.］
［…］
Yoru’s face management started cracking badly, his temples pounding.
His system inventory was stuffed once again with a pile of heaven-defying junk that challenged the very floor of human comprehension.
He fixed his eyes on the last beam of light.
It shuddered hard, then erupted with brilliant golden light!
*Come on!
Sharingan!
Sage Body!
Flying Thunder God!*
The golden glow dispersed, and a kunai wrapped in a faint golden halo floated quietly in midair.
［Ding!
Congratulations, host, on triggering the ten-draw pity system.
Obtained a top-tier item: Top-Tier · Kunai That Never Hits Its Target ×1!］
［Description: Brand new from the factory, its surface plated with a layer of 24-karat gold powder, highly collectible.
No matter how skilled the thrower, this kunai will defy the laws of physics to avoid every target, living or otherwise.
A true “pacifist” in every sense.］
Yoru stood in the system space feeling like he’d been hit by lightning, his mind going completely blank.
A few seconds later, he flipped the table in his mind!
*What is the fundamental difference between this and the scrap metal I pulled the first time?!*
*Change the color, coat it in gold, don’t even bother renaming it — just to scam me all over again?!*
He looked down at the “Premium Explosive Tag That Never Explodes” in his inventory, then at this “Gold-Plated Kunai That Never Hits Its Target.”
*Are these two pieces of junk supposed to form a “Never-Win Ninja Set”?*
*If I collect the whole set, do I get to summon an ultimate achievement called “Never Leave the Uchiha Compound Alive”?!*
*So that’s the trick — take from me to give to me!*
*I break my own composure, hand you the points, and you hand me back a pile of shiny, glittering garbage?!*
Emotional Damage Points from Uchiha Yoru, +999!!!］
Another haul from screwing himself over.
Yoru felt his blood pressure had blown past human limits.
But he had no time to fall apart; in the depths of despair, he decided to just let it all go.
“The last ten thousand points — throw them all in! Third ten-draw, start!”
Meanwhile, back in the real world.
At the podium, the Chunin instructor rapped hard on the blackboard, chalk dust raining down.
“Everyone, quiet! Pull yourselves together and open your textbooks to page seven! Next, I’m going to test you on an extremely obscure historical problem of the ninja world!”
He turned and wrote a line on the blackboard, then asked loudly:
“Combining the historical backdrop of the First Hokage founding Konoha with the resource-allocation situation during the initial establishment of the Five Great Nations, explain the core driving force behind the founding of the Five Great Ninja Villages and its influence on the current order of the ninja world! Who’ll answer?”
The moment the question landed, the whispering classroom went dead silent.
The freshmen were like quail that had spotted a natural predator, every one of them burying their head in their textbook at once.
“That question’s totally off the syllabus! The textbooks only got handed out yesterday — who’d know how the Five Great Nations divvied up resources back at the start?!”
Asuma grumbled under his breath to the classmate next to him.
Some flipped frantically through their books, others just sprawled on their desks playing dead; not one dared meet the instructor’s eyes.
Obito curled up even tighter, his face nearly pressed into his textbook.
The instructor scanned the room and let out a long sigh.
But he soon noticed that only two heads in the entire class were still held high.
One was Kakashi Hatake in the front row, chin resting on one hand, the picture of confidence.
The other was Yoru in the back row, eyes vacant as he stared fixedly at the ceiling, the corners of his mouth twitching wildly.
Seeing Yoru’s deadpan face, the instructor’s eyelid twitched on its own, and he quickly looked away.
*Can’t call on him.*
*Absolutely cannot call on him.*
*Heaven only knows what crime-against-humanity remark this psycho would come out with!*
“Kakashi Hatake, you take it.”
The instructor raised his hand, decisive.
The whole class quietly breathed a sigh of relief.
Kakashi stood, bracing one hand on the desk.
A dull, tearing pain came from the wounds on his legs, but he didn’t even frown.
Bearing the ache in his muscles, keeping the bandages on his lower legs perfectly aligned, he stood ramrod straight.
He spoke in a cold, clear voice, starting from the grievances between Hashirama Senju and Uchiha Madara, his account well-organized and his logic airtight.
“In the early days of the Five Great Nations, Konoha held the most fertile forest resources.”
“The First Hokage established the initial balance of power by distributing the Tailed Beasts…”