Translator’s Note
Listen to Happier by Marshmello ft. Bastille | cover by Jada Facer for the additional knife.
A Letter
Shang Yu, I hope this letter finds you well!
I’m guessing you probably have a bored look on your face right now.
“Why is this person still here”[1] is the most emotion I can read on your face during the years we’ve been together, even though you don’t say it.
I personally think that I’m the person who can understand you best in the world. It seems that my presence has always been low, but let me be a little proud. After all, we’ve been together for so long.
Don’t close the file yet!
I promise, this is the last time I’ll disturb your life.
I’m actually not sure if you’ll end up reading this letter, but in case you do, I think I should already be gone, right?
I put this letter together with the important documents of the Shang Corporation, so by now, you must also know that I am Jiang Yu. I really can’t think of any other reason for you to discover this letter other than to sort through the belongings I left despite you never setting foot in my room, as you have never shown any interest in my life.
I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to accuse you, I swear I just wanted to state a fact that everyone knows.
In fact, it was me who really felt sorry. I’ve trapped you with glands and laws for ten years. I often feel guilty, especially seeing you smile and go home less and less over the years.
To be brutally annoying, although I felt guilty, I never really regretted it, even if it ended so badly.
Since I don’t regret it, I want to help you and be there for you as much as I can, regardless of whether you care about this trivial matter.
I can’t help you in your personal life.
Then, at work, “Jiang Yu” appeared.
He exists to satisfy my selfishness as well, I guess. I really want to be able to see you more, even if it’s just the virtual image at the weekly meetings.
In regards to him.
When I’m alone, I often think about a question. If I don’t exist and you’re free and single, what kind of person will you end up with?
I mean, the marriage kind of being together, instead of the current self-deluded relationship we have — which you may think of as more of like a cage that traps you? The kind of being together that I am talking about is unconditional love where two people make sincere vows in church, willing to spend their lives together.
I’ll stop for a moment. It’s really so difficult just thinking about it. Forget it. Just by typing it out, it’s already so hard to breathe, being overwhelmed with jealousy.
Alas, it’s better if I shouldn’t have existed.
All right, I’m going to continue.
That person must be an omega first and foremost. Before we got to where we are today, you praised my pheromone scent once. You have probably forgotten about it, it was already long ago.
So… even when you later said I smelled cheap and bad, I never forgot that compliment, until now.
Then I assume that that omega pheromone must also have a light red wine flavor, not too strong, but it must be your favorite flavor.
In terms of appearance, I’m truly not sure what you like, but I remember that all the omegas you dated in the past were basically clean and fair with round eyes. Let’s just assume this is the type you like.
You must like an omega with a great career, not the home type, because you put too much emphasis on work. I know you don’t like me. We’re not really married, and we’re not protected by imperial marriage laws, but you’ve never womanized. You really put all your energy into your work, and I often worry that your body will not be able to bear it. Unfortunately, before Jiang Yu appeared, before I could join the Shang company in another identity, I didn’t know anything. This chapter is updated first at NovelPing.
It would be great if someone could help you out.
Before Jiang Yu appeared, I was jealous of the person I imagined you would love in the future.
After Jiang Yu appeared, I was jealous of… Jiang Yu.
It was too vicarious, especially with the occasional appreciative gaze you direct to me during the regular meeting, as if I’m about to float into the clouds in happiness — how nice it would be if I were really him.
Unfortunately, it’ll have to be in another life, I presume.
Okay, like what I said, I know you don’t want to see me anymore. You have suffered too much in this life, and in the next life, you will probably stay away from me from the very beginning.
Therefore, not meeting me would be the best outcome, right?
I’m really too good at ranting and raving. I’d be really flattered if you can read this after all that bullshit, haha.
If there’s indeed a next life, I don’t think I’ll bother you anymore— spare myself, particularly you.
My only small wish is for someone to love me.
No, as long as someone is willing to save me. I have lived in the dark for too long that I’m afraid to see bright and beautiful things. If there’s someone who can pull me out of this quagmire, I think I will surely be content.
But maybe not in this life. I’m really tired. Just being alive makes me feel so much pain.
I have shown you my negativity.
To be honest, I’ve been thinking about setting you free for years.
I know you’re seriously looking for reliable doctors who can remove my gland and the mark. I also know that it’s going to be the best outcome between us — everything will go back to where it started. You’re still the proud alpha son of heaven while I’m just an ordinary alpha I always used to be.
However, I can’t go back.
Right now, I can’t even imagine what would happen to me if I lost you.
Every day and every night, I’m thankful that I at least became your partner in this life. I relied on this comfort to barely fall asleep, repeating it day after day, year after year.
Even the mere thought that in the future, you might find your true love — after all, there are so many people who like you — pains me to the point of seeing darkness before my eyes and makes it difficult to sleep.
So, I can’t.
Ugh.
That’s why forgive me for the choice I made in the end. This will be the best ending between us. I let myself go, you’ll gain your freedom, and I won’t see you anymore in the future.
I’ve arranged everything that might happen next. The AI in the house will remove the traces of my corpse, including the unpleasant smell. I’ve already handed over Jiang Yu’s work. I’ve cleaned up my stuff even in the living room and the bedroom where you always stay.
I hope in the end, you can stop hating me so much.
As I’m unable to lie, wishing that you find happiness, then I sincerely hope you all the best in your career. I hope that you won’t exhaust yourself too much. Although you’re a high-level alpha, your body will slowly be unable to bear it… This chapter was copied from NovelPing without permission.
That’s all.
I’m sorry.
Shi Wen
Empire, December 20, 405
Youlan’s Note
The letter was written because Shi Wen thought that Shang Yu would not open or read it completely, so it was more like a monologue to express his emotions. After all, he was in a very unstable mental state at that time.
A fanart of Shi Wen from Weibo.
Special Scent
Shang Yu sent his omega boyfriend back to the door of his dormitory. His boyfriend was about to go upstairs when he seemed to think of something and suddenly stopped.
He turned his head to look at Shang Yu. His cheeks were red, but he hesitated.
He wanted a kiss from his excellent lover, or maybe just a few sweet words.
However, Shang Yu’s expression was indifferent. After seeing him off, he only said goodbye and left, leaving the omega standing there with a disappointed expression.
“Hi!”
Shang Yu turned his head and met a pair of clear eyes. He took a step back but his tone was not surprised, “It’s you again.”
Shi Wen smiled shyly, “Yeah… It’s lunchtime. I want to ask if you want to eat together?”
“I already ate.” Shang Yu said apathetically. Seeing that the expression of the person in front of him quickly sank, he added, “With my boyfriend.”
“Oh, yes, you have a boyfriend.” Shi Wen whispered, “Well, then… I’m going to go have lunch then.”
He looked back every three steps he took, extremely reluctant to leave. Shang Yu silently looked away and didn’t meet his eyes.
It was just that—
He sniffed almost imperceptibly.
That person’s scent did not give him the uncomfortable feeling of being of the same gender at all.
Instead…
It smelled good.
Translator’s Note
These are the last extras that the author posted before she marked the story complete. I know, it’s a bit of a cliffhanger but… damn, it hurts. The author’s so good at abusing readers’ feelings, ah.
o(〒﹏〒)o
“No One Saved Me” is posted free on Chang Pei. If you guys have some spare jade ornaments (Chang Pei currency) in your wallet, kindly reward her with some “catnip”[2] or other better treats. This also has an audio drama adaptation.
If you noticed mistranslations and other errors, it would be great if you can also tell me.
That’s all, and I hope you enjoyed reading it.
See you in my next abusive fan translation project.
Author’s Other Translated Works
No One Knows (translated by Ebarle and Kris Xian)
Fleeting September Breeze (translated by Kris Xian)
His Present (translated by Hoenimochi) [1] 阴魂不散 may mean “bad influence still lingers on.”
[2] A reward that costs 500 jade ornaments (approx. $0.8).